Jetsfan80 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 The following are reasons we will not take down the New England Patriots and win the AFC East Division Title this year. Please feel free to add your own: 1) Randy Moss and Donte' Stallworth will each have 1,250 yards receiving next season....by Week 6. 2) Bill Belicheck is just too good; in him there is only light, and no darkness at all. The Bible says that about him in 1 John 1:5....I think. 3) Tears that come from any Patriot have the ability to cure both AIDS and cancer simulataneously. Too bad none of them have ever cried. 4) Adalius Thomas wasn't overpaid. By the time the season is over, he'll be looking for a pay-raise and a contract extenstion through the age of 40, when he'll finally be hitting his prime. 5) The Patriots aren't worried about losing Asante Samuel. After all, who needs him? The Pats are planning to convert Wes Welker and Jabar Gaffney into shutdown corners. 6) If you can't see Tedy Bruschi, you may be only seconds from death. 7) Laurence Maroney (with an astounding 4.3 ypc and 6 TD's last season) is a huge upgrade from New England's "Plan B" option: Trading a 2nd rounder in 2011 and some Red Bull for LaDainian Tomlinson. 8 ) Tom Brady may have looked like he made some awful throws last season, but you would be mistaken. On each of those throws, the world stopped spinning to watch, causing the incompletions. 9) Reche Caldwell will put his bugged out eyes to good use next season by stealing plays from Mangini's playbook from across the field. 10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J. Askew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BornJetsFan1983 Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J. Askew? Thats the best one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
green_blood Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 The following are reasons we will not take down the New England Patriots and win the AFC East Division Title this year. Please feel free to add your own: 1) Randy Moss and Donte' Stallworth will each have 1,250 yards receiving next season....by Week 6. 2) Bill Belicheck is just too good; in him there is only light, and no darkness at all. The Bible says that about him in 1 John 1:5....I think. 3) Tears that come from any Patriot have the ability to cure both AIDS and cancer simulataneously. Too bad none of them have ever cried. 4) Adalius Thomas wasn't overpaid. By the time the season is over, he'll be looking for a pay-raise and a contract extenstion through the age of 40, when he'll finally be hitting his prime. 5) The Patriots aren't worried about losing Asante Samuel. After all, who needs him? The Pats are planning to convert Wes Welker and Jabar Gaffney into shutdown corners. 6) If you can't see Tedy Bruschi, you may be only seconds from death. 7) Laurence Maroney (with an astounding 4.3 ypc and 6 TD's last season) is a huge upgrade from New England's "Plan B" option: Trading a 2nd rounder in 2011 and some Red Bull for LaDainian Tomlinson. 8 ) Tom Brady may have looked like he made some awful throws last season, but you would be mistaken. On each of those throws, the world stopped spinning to watch, causing the incompletions. 9) Reche Caldwell will put his bugged out eyes to good use next season by stealing plays from Mangini's playbook from across the field. 10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J. Askew? Haha! 11)Wes Welker will have 1,249 yds, by week 6. 12)Tom Brady will break Vick's rushing record for a QB this year. 13)Stephen Gostkowski will never have to kick. 14)Matt Cassel will throw for 2543 yds 20 tds and 1 int, because by halftime, Tom Brady will have already thrown for 8 TDS in every game. 15)Adalius Thomas will eat your children. 16)"In the beginning, Robert Kraft created the Heaven and the Earth... and on the Seventh Day he made the Patriots... And Tom Brady spawned out of Bill Belichick's left nipple..." Genesis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Share Posted June 7, 2007 17) If Rodney Harrison is really the "dirtiest player in the NFL" (as his fellow counterparts agree on year after year), then "how comes his conscience is so clean"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 We'll never score a point on the Pats. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madmike1 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 If we get a first down vs them all year or if Chad throws one complete pass I'll view it as a victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick34125 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 why the jets won't beat the pats... 1. the jets will be too distracted by the patriots hot cheerleaders 2. bob kraft will have the rabbis pray for his team to beat the jets on his next trip to israel 3. tom brady will be a man possessed after learning that tony romo is really the father of bridget moynahan's unborn child 4. bill belichick's gray sweater is a good luck charm bequethed to him by satan in exchange for his soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 The patriots are so good, they'll get three wins for beating the jets this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowJet35 Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Tom Brady and God played Rock Paper Scissors shoot... Tom Brady won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVM Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Haha! 11)Wes Welker will have 1,249 yds, by week 6. 12)Tom Brady will break Vick's rushing record for a QB this year. 13)Stephen Gostkowski will never have to kick. 14)Matt Cassel will throw for 2543 yds 20 tds and 1 int, because by halftime, Tom Brady will have already thrown for 8 TDS in every game. 15)Adalius Thomas will eat your children. 16)"In the beginning, Robert Kraft created the Heaven and the Earth... and on the Seventh Day he made the Patriots... And Tom Brady spawned out of Bill Belichick's left nipple..." Genesis 17) Out of pity, the Patriots will only accept 4.3 points for every touchdown. They'll still score 100 points by halftime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangreenman Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 18) Bellicheck is not only a psychotherapist, he is also god. Any player that signs with the patriots, no matter how bad they were in their past lives', will automatically turn into a choir boy when they have Bellicheck as a coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Share Posted June 7, 2007 19) Asked about how Belicheck's relationship with his assistant coaches have changed ever since Charlie Weis, Romeo Crennell and Eric Mangini left, Belicheck responded, "what assistant coaches?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TNJet Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 20)In the playoff game against the Colts last year the Pats recievers dropped the last ten passes intended for them on purpose,because the felt sorry for the Colts getting beat by them every year before.They figured they'd let Peyton win one...what the heck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 21.) Tom Brady preforms at a high level because of deep colon massages from Belli, and his 6 inch tounge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 21.) Tom Brady preforms at a high level because of deep colon massages from Belli, and his 6 inch tounge. You know this how? Personal experience? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick34125 Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 You know this how? Personal experience? funny how this was the only post in this thread that you responded to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick34125 Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 21.) Tom Brady preforms at a high level because of deep colon massages from Belli, and his 6 inch tounge. lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetophile Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Meh, any given Sunday. Watch the Dolphins beat them twice this upcoming season and go 2-14 on the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotReign37 Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 The patriots are so good, they'll get three wins for beating the jets this season. It just seems that way since NE has whooped NJ so many times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 funny how this was the only post in this thread that you responded to... I was looking for the dumbest one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick34125 Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I was looking for the dumbest one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted June 8, 2007 Author Share Posted June 8, 2007 22) Despite feuding with every coach and QB he's been with, Randy Moss will NOT bring character issues to the Patriots. After all, the Patriots have a strategy for him: If he gets out of line, he will be forced to lay down underneath Vince Wilfork and let him fart in Randy's face. BTW, what does a guy have to do to get a POTW nomination around here? The original post of this thread was brilliance, pure brilliance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 23) The Patriots will beat the Jets by so much in week 1 that they will simply forfeit their remaining 15 games. Why even bother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetophile Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 I have to make poop. Well, I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Tom Brady is gonna throw for 612 yards with 12 td's against the Jets, in the first game alone. His second game is gonna make his first game look like an offday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Jet Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Kerry Rhodes will sack Tom Brady on the first play of the new season breaking every bone in his body, giving the Pats an excuse to unleash their secret weapon Matt Cassell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 Kerry Rhodes will sack Tom Brady on the first play of the new season breaking every bone in his body, giving the Pats an excuse to unleash their secret weapon Matt Cassell Don't you mean Daunte Culpepper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodWearsAGrayHoodie Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 I think I just found the most accurate prediction thread that Jetsfan80 has made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYjet10 Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Tom Brady will throw 50 touchdown by week 7. Laurence Maroney will rush for 1400 yards by week 8. Wes welker we have 25 touchdowns by week 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYjet10 Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Kerry Rhodes will sack Tom Brady on the first play of the new season breaking every bone in his body, giving the Pats an excuse to unleash their secret weapon Matt Cassell NOOOOOOO not MATT CASSELL :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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