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The "We can't beat the Pats" Anti-Jinx Thread


Jetsfan80
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The following are reasons we will not take down the New England Patriots and win the AFC East Division Title this year. Please feel free to add your own:

1) Randy Moss and Donte' Stallworth will each have 1,250 yards receiving next season....by Week 6.

2) Bill Belicheck is just too good; in him there is only light, and no darkness at all. The Bible says that about him in 1 John 1:5....I think.

3) Tears that come from any Patriot have the ability to cure both AIDS and cancer simulataneously. Too bad none of them have ever cried.

4) Adalius Thomas wasn't overpaid. By the time the season is over, he'll be looking for a pay-raise and a contract extenstion through the age of 40, when he'll finally be hitting his prime.

5) The Patriots aren't worried about losing Asante Samuel. After all, who needs him? The Pats are planning to convert Wes Welker and Jabar Gaffney into shutdown corners.

6) If you can't see Tedy Bruschi, you may be only seconds from death.

7) Laurence Maroney (with an astounding 4.3 ypc and 6 TD's last season) is a huge upgrade from New England's "Plan B" option: Trading a 2nd rounder in 2011 and some Red Bull for LaDainian Tomlinson.

8 ) Tom Brady may have looked like he made some awful throws last season, but you would be mistaken. On each of those throws, the world stopped spinning to watch, causing the incompletions.

9) Reche Caldwell will put his bugged out eyes to good use next season by stealing plays from Mangini's playbook from across the field.

10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J. Askew?

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10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J.

Askew?

Thats the best one

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The following are reasons we will not take down the New England Patriots and win the AFC East Division Title this year. Please feel free to add your own:

1) Randy Moss and Donte' Stallworth will each have 1,250 yards receiving next season....by Week 6.

2) Bill Belicheck is just too good; in him there is only light, and no darkness at all. The Bible says that about him in 1 John 1:5....I think.

3) Tears that come from any Patriot have the ability to cure both AIDS and cancer simulataneously. Too bad none of them have ever cried.

4) Adalius Thomas wasn't overpaid. By the time the season is over, he'll be looking for a pay-raise and a contract extenstion through the age of 40, when he'll finally be hitting his prime.

5) The Patriots aren't worried about losing Asante Samuel. After all, who needs him? The Pats are planning to convert Wes Welker and Jabar Gaffney into shutdown corners.

6) If you can't see Tedy Bruschi, you may be only seconds from death.

7) Laurence Maroney (with an astounding 4.3 ypc and 6 TD's last season) is a huge upgrade from New England's "Plan B" option: Trading a 2nd rounder in 2011 and some Red Bull for LaDainian Tomlinson.

8 ) Tom Brady may have looked like he made some awful throws last season, but you would be mistaken. On each of those throws, the world stopped spinning to watch, causing the incompletions.

9) Reche Caldwell will put his bugged out eyes to good use next season by stealing plays from Mangini's playbook from across the field.

10) While the Patriots made all the right moves this offseason, the Jets simply lost too much. After all, who in their right mind would have the audacity to believe that the Jets can possibly recover from the losses of key performers like Patrick Ramsey and B.J. Askew?

Haha!

11)Wes Welker will have 1,249 yds, by week 6.

12)Tom Brady will break Vick's rushing record for a QB this year.

13)Stephen Gostkowski will never have to kick.

14)Matt Cassel will throw for 2543 yds 20 tds and 1 int, because by halftime, Tom Brady will have already thrown for 8 TDS in every game.

15)Adalius Thomas will eat your children.

16)"In the beginning, Robert Kraft created the Heaven and the Earth... and on the Seventh Day he made the Patriots... And Tom Brady spawned out of Bill Belichick's left nipple..." Genesis

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why the jets won't beat the pats...

1. the jets will be too distracted by the patriots hot cheerleaders

2. bob kraft will have the rabbis pray for his team to beat the jets on his next trip to israel

3. tom brady will be a man possessed after learning that tony romo is really the father of bridget moynahan's unborn child

4. bill belichick's gray sweater is a good luck charm bequethed to him by satan in exchange for his soul

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Haha!

11)Wes Welker will have 1,249 yds, by week 6.

12)Tom Brady will break Vick's rushing record for a QB this year.

13)Stephen Gostkowski will never have to kick.

14)Matt Cassel will throw for 2543 yds 20 tds and 1 int, because by halftime, Tom Brady will have already thrown for 8 TDS in every game.

15)Adalius Thomas will eat your children.

16)"In the beginning, Robert Kraft created the Heaven and the Earth... and on the Seventh Day he made the Patriots... And Tom Brady spawned out of Bill Belichick's left nipple..." Genesis

17) Out of pity, the Patriots will only accept 4.3 points for every touchdown. They'll still score 100 points by halftime.

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20)In the playoff game against the Colts last year the Pats recievers dropped the last ten passes intended for them on purpose,because the felt sorry for the Colts getting beat by them every year before.They figured they'd let Peyton win one...what the heck.

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22) Despite feuding with every coach and QB he's been with, Randy Moss will NOT bring character issues to the Patriots. After all, the Patriots have a strategy for him: If he gets out of line, he will be forced to lay down underneath Vince Wilfork and let him fart in Randy's face.

BTW, what does a guy have to do to get a POTW nomination around here? The original post of this thread was brilliance, pure brilliance!

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  • 6 months later...

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