TaborJet Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 I know that starting this thread is like throwing a T-bone into the lion's den. I wonder how long until it gets locked. Let's find out, shall we? 15 things no man wants to hear... from a woman 1 Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared. 2 The phrase 'I'd say it's bang-on average, if not slightly bigger'. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt. 3 Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually. 4 The accusing phrase, 'What's wrong with the blue dress, then?' after we have said we like the red one. 5 Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlessly fascinating - the number of buttons on their shirts, farting - they will suddenly develop ADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually, even then... 6 Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy to admire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us. 7 Stories about other men patronising you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, 'Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?' I know, sometimes we're asking for trouble. 8 The word 'Fine' as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary. 9 The sound of weeping. It destroys us. 10 Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls' friendships mystifies us. If she's that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile. 11 The phrase, 'Hang on, I'll just reply to this text before we order'. We want first claim on your attention, woman. 12 The phrase, 'Can you turn over, you're snoring'. Great, that's both of us awake. 13 The words 'Am I special? Am I?' Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time. 14 Anyone else's name, in your sleep. 15 Your dreams. Unless we're in them. And in a good light, too. If not, save 'em for the shrink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 # 1 "I'm late" oh and if it gets locked, can't you just unlock it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 I know that starting this thread is like throwing a T-bone into the lion's den. I wonder how long until it gets locked. Let's find out, shall we? 15 things no man wants to hear... from a woman 1 Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared. 2 The phrase 'I'd say it's bang-on average, if not slightly bigger'. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt. 3 Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually. </IMG>4 The accusing phrase, 'What's wrong with the blue dress, then?' after we have said we like the red one. 5 Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlessly fascinating - the number of buttons on their shirts, farting - they will suddenly develop ADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually, even then... 6 Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy to admire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us. 7 Stories about other men patronising you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, 'Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?' I know, sometimes we're asking for trouble. 8 The word 'Fine' as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary. 9 The sound of weeping. It destroys us. 10 Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls' friendships mystifies us. If she's that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile. 11 The phrase, 'Hang on, I'll just reply to this text before we order'. We want first claim on your attention, woman. 12 The phrase, 'Can you turn over, you're snoring'. Great, that's both of us awake. 13 The words 'Am I special? Am I?' Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time. 14 Anyone else's name, in your sleep. 15 Your dreams. Unless we're in them. And in a good light, too. If not, save 'em for the shrink. its funny you post this list now. i'm sort of dating this chick, as of this week, and all these topics are considered pretty taboo. i hate the ex-boyfriend references, but its hard not to when they spend all their time with them for the past couple years. so it just comes out, but like you said, it sucks, and no one wants to hear about it. #12...haha, i talk in my sleep so i get knocked awake quite a few times by the lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 3 Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually. :rl: That one sounds familiar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gainzo Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 :rl: That one sounds familiar... The classic: "Do I look fat?" How the F can a man answer that question honestly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebabyny Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 :rl: That one sounds familiar... Thats what i was thinking, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebabyny Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 meh, i got through like 5-6 of those and stopped paying attention and got bored and gave up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyCarl40 Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 -"Don't worry the baby just looks darker right now because of the lighting in the room." -My Parents are coming to visit. -This is my new girlfriend Susie. We're getting married. -I like you but I'm still in love with (Insert random jerk here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 i never want to hear them say, after being with them for a while, that they want to do the back door. meaning they've done it before...making you think...how many weiners have penetrated your back door? how wide is that? areyou an actual hooker, and do i owe you money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebabyny Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 i never want to hear them say, after being with them for a while, that they want to do the back door. meaning they've done it before...making you think...how many weiners have penetrated your back door? how wide is that? areyou an actual hooker, and do i owe you money? Dude, just get past that and embrace the inner freak in the girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 Dude, just get past that and embrace the inner freak in the girl! haha, good call, i think too much. BTW, i liked your blog about the sperm bank, your ex, and your mother. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BornJetsFan1983 Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 How bout, when they say I forgot to take my pill.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Jet Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 How about the ever popular " Who's bra is this? ". This was of course, like everything else worth while in life , covered in a Seinfeld episode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sperm Edwards Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 "We need to talk." "My mom is going to come stay with us for the week." "Could you pick me up a a box of tampons on your way home?" "Let's do it." (during the "special" days of the month) "What are you thinking about?" "Help me with the dishes." "What's my middle name?" "Is it in yet?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 "that's not an STD" "wrong whole" "Don't vomit on me" "Have you slept with your parents?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebabyny Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 haha, good call, i think too much. BTW, i liked your blog about the sperm bank, your ex, and your mother. lol Thanks dude, that is a 100% true story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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