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Jets28

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Little joke to get your day started off with a smile...:P:);)

"How To Get Out Of The Cage"

There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...

She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..

."Hey I know how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to tell her...

He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."

So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said, "Gimme some and I'll tell you."

Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex...

only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...

Two days later the female was still trying to find a way out when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I feel sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and I'll tell you how to get out."

So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll tell ya." By this time she was distraught and willing to do anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"

That night the cage was covered and the female was still looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came off and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!

Do you know how she got out????

scroll down

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GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!

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Little joke to get your day started off with a smile...:P:);)

"How To Get Out Of The Cage"

There were 2 male canaries just sitting in a cage, when one day the door opened and a female canary was tossed in...

She hated being in the cage and flew circles inside trying to find a way out. One male canary looked at the other and said "Hey watch this" He called to the female..

."Hey I know how to get out of here" she flew over and begged him to tell her...

He said, "Meet me at the bottom of the cage."

So she flew down to where he was waiting and he said, "Gimme some and I'll tell you."

Being desperate to escape she gave him some birdie sex...

only to be told when they were done, "Ha!! There's no way out of here!!" He flew up and high winged the other male...

Two days later the female was still trying to find a way out when the other male called to her and said, "Hey I feel sorry for you!! Meet me at the bottom of the cage and I'll tell you how to get out."

So... she flew down and he said, "Gimme some and I'll tell ya." By this time she was distraught and willing to do anything, so she gave him some birdie sex... only to be told, "Ha! Dummy there's no way out of here!"

That night the cage was covered and the female was still looking for escape.... The next morning the cover came off and to the astonishment of the male canaries the female was flying circles around the OUTSIDE of the cage!!

Do you know how she got out????

scroll down

+

GIMME SOME AND I'LL TELL YA!

:puke::biggrin:

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Here's some "funnies" in honor of the attorney's that post here (why anyone would WANT to be an attorney is beyond me....it's like saying, "Hello, I really want to be an azz. Yup, that is my life's ambition. To be an azz." ;) )

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and

are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and

now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm

while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY:** Are you sexually active?

WITNESS:* * * No, I just lie there.

*

ATTORNEY:* What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS:* * * Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY:** This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS:* * * * Yes.

ATTORNEY:** And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS:* * ** I forget.

ATTORNEY:** You forget? Can you give us an example of something you

forgot?

ATTORNEY:* What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS:* * He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY:* And why did that upset you?

WITNESS:* * My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY:* Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS:* * Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY:* The youngest son, thetwenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS:* * * Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY:* Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS:* ** Are you ****tin' me?

ATTORNEY:** So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS:* * * Yes.

ATTORNEY:* And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS:* ** Uh.... I was getting' laid!

ATTORNEY:* * She had three children, right?

WITNESS:* * * Yes.

ATTORNEY:* * How many were boys?

WITNESS:* * * None.

ATTORNEY:* * Were there any girls?

WITNESS:* ** Are you ****tin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a

different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY:** How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS:* ** By death.

ATTORNEY:** And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS:* Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY:* Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS:* ** He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY:* Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS:* Guess.

ATTORNEY:** Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on

dead people?

WITNESS:* * * All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would

you* like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY:** ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you

go to?

WITNESS:* * * Oral.

ATTORNEY:* Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS:* * * The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY:* And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS:* * * No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was

doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY:** Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS:* Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

ATTORNEY:** Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check

for a pulse?

WITNESS:* * * No.

ATTORNEY:** Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS:* * * No.

ATTORNEY:** Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS:* * * No.

ATTORNEY:* So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when

you began the autopsy?

WITNESS:* * * No.

ATTORNEY:** How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS:* * * Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:* I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS:* * * Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

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