Jump to content

The wit and wisdom of Carl Everett


shawn306

Recommended Posts

Interviewed for the July 2005 issue of Maxim, good ol' Jurassic Carl makes the following observations.

# Wrigley Field needs to be "imploded."

# Tiger Woods is not an athlete.

# "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marrages and I don't believe in being gay."

# "It's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're watching."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interviewed for the July 2005 issue of Maxim, good ol' Jurassic Carl makes the following observations.

# Wrigley Field needs to be "imploded."

# Tiger Woods is not an athlete.

# "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marrages and I don't believe in being gay."

# "It's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're watching."

gotta love the guy. don't forget his other memorable quotes:

"Nobody ever saw a dinosaur. The Bible doesn't say anything about them"

"Were you on the moon with him? He may have just gone to the desert and walked on some dried-out dirt"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1) The moon landing was propagandistic fraud. Carl is right about that.

2) Dinosaurs existed.

3) Gays are cool.

4) Why reporters continue to put a microphone in front of Carl Everett and Rasheed Wallace is the reason that sports and journalism should never be used conjointly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I still remember the day when he broke up Mike Mussinas perfect game at fenway park, bottom of the 9th with 2 outs and 2 strikes. I kept saying "THROW THE BALL IN THE DIRT LOW AND AWAY LOW AND AWAY"

What does Mussina throw? A mid 80's fastball chest high and slightly inside, bang a dunk single in center field. that sucked

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rasheed Wallace vs. Carl Everett in a Battle of "Wits" is the Pay Per View spectacular which could make serious money from really stupid people, if they could figure out how to buy a PPV event and pay for it. Substance abuse(with Rasheed around, this won't be a problem) and phyiscal violence would be allowed, but no weapons. Next, Allen Iverson vs. John Rocker. After that, the OJ jurors vs. the Michael Jackson jurors, with and undercard of the dumbass DAs in each case. Next up, Scientologists vs. Muslims. Throw topics at them-DNA, evolution, euthanasia, the runaway bride, how to cook pasta-ANYTHING. Just get'em to disagree.

Wallace's UNC degree must have been a BS in breathing.

WE NEED THIS! It would outdraw the NBA Finals 2-1-EASILY.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I still remember the day when he broke up Mike Mussinas perfect game at fenway park, bottom of the 9th with 2 outs and 2 strikes. I kept saying "THROW THE BALL IN THE DIRT LOW AND AWAY LOW AND AWAY"

What does Mussina throw? A mid 80's fastball chest high and slightly inside, bang a dunk single in center field. that sucked

Mechanics, pitch selection, new batting stances...wow you are never wrong. Must be nice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

# "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marrages and I don't believe in being gay."

As much as TomShane doesn't want to hear it...the world would end if everyone took the same road as Tom.

Not the high road either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he thinks Wrigley is a dump, I'd be curious to hear his opinion on that sweatbox the Red Sox play in.

Wrigley Field is the single greatest park ever built. You just cannot top the atmosphere there. Every baseball fan should get the chance to go to Wrigley once in their lives, if they haven't already, and most would agree with me on this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1) The moon landing was propagandistic fraud. Carl is right about that.

2) Dinosaurs existed.

3) Gays are cool.

4) Why reporters continue to put a microphone in front of Carl Everett and Rasheed Wallace is the reason that sports and journalism should never be used conjointly.

What in the hell does Sheed have to do with anything? Why didn't you go after Shaq or Warren Sapp? Or the wife beater? Or Martin? Or ole vince Carter?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mechanics, pitch selection, new batting stances...wow you are never wrong. Must be nice.

WRONG dooshie.

Going back to your old mechanics, going back to your old batting stance.......when you were great.......thats common sense.

But even the announcers of that Moose game said he should have thrown an outside, low pitch. The count was 0-2 I believe, he could have afforded to throw a low outside pitch so that HACK, carl everett would chased and missed like he always had.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

EB50...you are always right. It is amazing.

The only time you were wrong is when you selected UNDER - 19, in the virginity pool.

Other than that though you are all set. I mean this in the Dooshiest way possible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...