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Most unusual place you had sex?


NIGHT STALKER

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I'll start...there's been several for me, but the one that sticks out (no pun intended) was when I was 17. My house and her house were out of the question...so, the best place for us was in the city cemetery. It was real quiet...:-$

lol, i actually wrote about this very topic in a blog post, lemme copy and paste and edit it for a pg13 rating here. Max might explode when he reass it, lol

Craziest places I dropped a load!

So, I wanted to post a blog today that is kind of interactive to hear how freaky some of my friends are, and see which ones I should be hitting on (females!), lol. So I was sitting at lunch and thinking about some of the odd or crazy places I have either had sex. Now, I realized I do not have very many, so I broadened the criteria for entry as sex to include anything where I was able to spew a little of my dna code. I will try and make this a "living document" as they call it by adding to it as crazy things happen, hopefully in my newfound surroundings and social circles I will meet a few more chicks that aren't as lame as my last few! And what I want is to see a bunch of you comment me with some of your wildest/wierdest/craziest places.

in no real order

1) In the backseat of a minivan sitting right behind my father and his friend driving home.

Yeah, I was coming home from work, it was around 3am, we went out for a few drinks after work, I had a chick meet up with me, and in the minivan on the way home I caught wicked head, this girl was off the hook, I was seeing stars! I bit my ####ing lip so hard to keep quiet that I was bleeding. I think that my father's perv friend actually caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror and watched the show.

2) On a dorm balcony

I was visiting an ex at her college and there was a party going on outside in the yard next to her dorm. We were a few flights up, we went out on the balcony and hit it right there.

3)My parents living room floor

Ok, granted, not the craziest thing in itself, but there is a little more to it. It was the absolute best friend of a girl I was seeing casually, who I had done right earlier that night, and the girl was a screamer, and my parents were home, upstairs sleeping. Now, the house opens up into this two floor opening, with their bedroom door open and right there, so they can really hear what was going on. I was there, on the carpeted floor on top banging the snot out of her, and had one hand over her mouth, inadvertently suffocating her, and found crazy sex-induced strength and with the other arm pushed the whole couch to make room, and knocked over some lamps and s@@@ which woke everyone up. It was hottt, i just tore the panties off and went at it like i stole it yo!

4) In the wine celler in my parents basement

Again, not the craziest thing by itself, but it was my little sisters party and it was one of her guests and it was my first bj ever, and she had to do the walk of shame and sneak past the party room with a mouth and face full of frosting. Maybe I was 15, I don't know.

5) In my mom's "Batmobile" a conversion van she had back in the day

Mom's friend's daughter gave me a pretty good handjob in the van while we were all sitting there at like 6am waiting for some stupid outlet to open that was having a big sale, mikasa i think. Mom and friend were there in the front bulls###ting during it, and it was my first handjob.

6) In a movie theater

I was a teen of the early nineties, and in Staten Island, the new multiplex theater was THE place to mack the ladies and "go with" them as we referred to tongue kissing at the time. Well, one time I got a little more then a tongue kiss, nothing better then sitting down to a movie with some gummie bears, a cold beverage, and a warm, wet bj half way through!

7) movie theater part 2

The popcorn trick, you all know it. The hardest part is the prep work, popping a hole in the bottom, so I went into the bathroom right from the concession stand and sent my little female friend to the theater to grab seats. Now, I walk into the skank bathroom carrying an open container of food I planned on consuming, and the thought of all the germs in the air mingling with my food made me sick, then I realized I was going to have my rooster buried in there, and I surmised that eating something that was comingling with my meat puppet was in some way gay, so I decided I would not be eating the popcorn. I dumped out a good portion of the popcorn so that this chick who barely ate would not have to wait long to get to the crackerjack prize, and started lancing the bottom of the bucket. As I was doing this, a guy and his little son come out of a stall, and the guy looks at what I am doing and immediately knows what I am up to and gives me a sick look like I was the biggest piece of $$$$ in the world. &&&& him, he was just miserable because he was married and no longer got sex! I walked back to the seats with my hand on the bottom of the popcorn, and trying to hold the hard-on I worked up in the bathroom, sat down, and somehow got my hit stick in there. I sat there with that stupid bucket dripping butter all down my pants and legs for a half hour before the chick decided to even taste the popcorn. %%%%! When you try this gag, do NOT let the guy add butter! Finally I said eff it, pulled the bucket up and there was my morning glory covered in fake butter substitute and salt. At least I got the handjob. It was shortly after this handjob that I instituted the suck-it-or-$$$$-it rule.

8) Driving down the jersey shore.

I was in the city with a girlfriend and my friend and his girl, and after a night at the clubs dancing our asses off, we decided at 3am to head down the shore to mantoloking to my friend's house. Well, the second we were on the garden state parkway, her skirt was up and her back against the door and I was fingerbanging her like a jackhammer. We got off the parkway and on rt 35 stopped at every parking lot and shagged like crazy, I think at least 5-6 times, in a mcdonalds, a burger king, a supermarket, a bunch of strip malls, the parking lot of some gymnastics place. What is normally a 40 minute drive took us 3 hours.

9) A bathroom in a restaurant in Little Italy

Not a big story here, we were waiting for our main course to come and just popped into the bathroom to kill a few minutes.

10) Bathroom at the Tunnel

The Tunnel was one of the trio of mega clubs inthe city back inthe 90's when megaclubs were the s$$$ in NYC. If you ever saw American Psycho, or the movie Kids(they called it nasa), that is where it was filmed. Near the end of the club's run in the mid 90's, I had a girlfriend, and she wasn't much of a clubhead, but would do anything I wanted, so she sucked it up and came along one night. Just like in the movie Kids, the bathroom was a room of it's own at the club with a dj and bar, and I caught a moderately decent bj in the stall. To be fair to her, there were tons of people around, so I can understand her being nervous. Besides, a BJ is like pizza, when it is good it is great, but when it is bad, it's still ok.

11) (added later) in my ex girlfriend's room

I dated a chick who had a twin sister, and the twin was dating my boy jerry. We used to have sex all the time in the bedroom that the twins shared, with the sister and Jerry in there.

Like I said, nothing really too crazy, but most of them when taken with the stories attached are pretty good. MY ultimate is still unrealized, hopefully I will work it out and report back, full on sex in the NYC subway.

Oh, and to my parents who I have a feeling have decided to start reading my blogs on the sneak, you may want to forget about this site, it is only going to get worse, MUHAHAHA

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OK, I guess this thread is over since joebaby has already covered every possible scenario

oh dude, not even close, there are lots more, i am too damn big to even attempt the airplane bathroom, there is concerts, funerals, weddings, lots more possibilities i am sure

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i was working in the Hamptons at a Tennis Club when i was in high school

Went to beach at lunch, and while I'm eating a nice sammich, this couple

walks by and plants their towel about 50 feet away from me. 10 Minutes

later they are going at IT, i mean how do you not stare at something like that. Her legs were so far up in the air, i will nevah forget that day.

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i was working in the Hamptons at a Tennis Club when i was in high school

Went to beach at lunch, and while I'm eating a nice sammich, this couple

walks by and plants their towel about 50 feet away from me. 10 Minutes

later they are going at IT, i mean how do you not stare at something like that. Her legs were so far up in the air, i will nevah forget that day.

Who came first, you or them?

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Ok this goes for the 90's club goers.....on the dance floor when they boxed it up and added all of the soap bubbles....don't know if they still do it, but we were drunk and not the only ones doing it.

Also got a handjob on the rail at disneyland.

May god be with me if my wife ever reads this. :) even though this was before her.

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lol, i actually wrote about this very topic in a blog post, lemme copy and paste and edit it for a pg13 rating here. Max might explode when he reass it, lol

Craziest places I dropped a load!

So, I wanted to post a blog today that is kind of interactive to hear how freaky some of my friends are, and see which ones I should be hitting on (females!), lol. So I was sitting at lunch and thinking about some of the odd or crazy places I have either had sex. Now, I realized I do not have very many, so I broadened the criteria for entry as sex to include anything where I was able to spew a little of my dna code. I will try and make this a "living document" as they call it by adding to it as crazy things happen, hopefully in my newfound surroundings and social circles I will meet a few more chicks that aren't as lame as my last few! And what I want is to see a bunch of you comment me with some of your wildest/wierdest/craziest places.

in no real order

1) In the backseat of a minivan sitting right behind my father and his friend driving home.

Yeah, I was coming home from work, it was around 3am, we went out for a few drinks after work, I had a chick meet up with me, and in the minivan on the way home I caught wicked head, this girl was off the hook, I was seeing stars! I bit my ####ing lip so hard to keep quiet that I was bleeding. I think that my father's perv friend actually caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror and watched the show.

2) On a dorm balcony

I was visiting an ex at her college and there was a party going on outside in the yard next to her dorm. We were a few flights up, we went out on the balcony and hit it right there.

3)My parents living room floor

Ok, granted, not the craziest thing in itself, but there is a little more to it. It was the absolute best friend of a girl I was seeing casually, who I had done right earlier that night, and the girl was a screamer, and my parents were home, upstairs sleeping. Now, the house opens up into this two floor opening, with their bedroom door open and right there, so they can really hear what was going on. I was there, on the carpeted floor on top banging the snot out of her, and had one hand over her mouth, inadvertently suffocating her, and found crazy sex-induced strength and with the other arm pushed the whole couch to make room, and knocked over some lamps and s@@@ which woke everyone up. It was hottt, i just tore the panties off and went at it like i stole it yo!

4) In the wine celler in my parents basement

Again, not the craziest thing by itself, but it was my little sisters party and it was one of her guests and it was my first bj ever, and she had to do the walk of shame and sneak past the party room with a mouth and face full of frosting. Maybe I was 15, I don't know.

5) In my mom's "Batmobile" a conversion van she had back in the day

Mom's friend's daughter gave me a pretty good handjob in the van while we were all sitting there at like 6am waiting for some stupid outlet to open that was having a big sale, mikasa i think. Mom and friend were there in the front bulls###ting during it, and it was my first handjob.

6) In a movie theater

I was a teen of the early nineties, and in Staten Island, the new multiplex theater was THE place to mack the ladies and "go with" them as we referred to tongue kissing at the time. Well, one time I got a little more then a tongue kiss, nothing better then sitting down to a movie with some gummie bears, a cold beverage, and a warm, wet bj half way through!

7) movie theater part 2

The popcorn trick, you all know it. The hardest part is the prep work, popping a hole in the bottom, so I went into the bathroom right from the concession stand and sent my little female friend to the theater to grab seats. Now, I walk into the skank bathroom carrying an open container of food I planned on consuming, and the thought of all the germs in the air mingling with my food made me sick, then I realized I was going to have my rooster buried in there, and I surmised that eating something that was comingling with my meat puppet was in some way gay, so I decided I would not be eating the popcorn. I dumped out a good portion of the popcorn so that this chick who barely ate would not have to wait long to get to the crackerjack prize, and started lancing the bottom of the bucket. As I was doing this, a guy and his little son come out of a stall, and the guy looks at what I am doing and immediately knows what I am up to and gives me a sick look like I was the biggest piece of $$$$ in the world. &&&& him, he was just miserable because he was married and no longer got sex! I walked back to the seats with my hand on the bottom of the popcorn, and trying to hold the hard-on I worked up in the bathroom, sat down, and somehow got my hit stick in there. I sat there with that stupid bucket dripping butter all down my pants and legs for a half hour before the chick decided to even taste the popcorn. %%%%! When you try this gag, do NOT let the guy add butter! Finally I said eff it, pulled the bucket up and there was my morning glory covered in fake butter substitute and salt. At least I got the handjob. It was shortly after this handjob that I instituted the suck-it-or-$$$$-it rule.

8) Driving down the jersey shore.

I was in the city with a girlfriend and my friend and his girl, and after a night at the clubs dancing our asses off, we decided at 3am to head down the shore to mantoloking to my friend's house. Well, the second we were on the garden state parkway, her skirt was up and her back against the door and I was fingerbanging her like a jackhammer. We got off the parkway and on rt 35 stopped at every parking lot and shagged like crazy, I think at least 5-6 times, in a mcdonalds, a burger king, a supermarket, a bunch of strip malls, the parking lot of some gymnastics place. What is normally a 40 minute drive took us 3 hours.

9) A bathroom in a restaurant in Little Italy

Not a big story here, we were waiting for our main course to come and just popped into the bathroom to kill a few minutes.

10) Bathroom at the Tunnel

The Tunnel was one of the trio of mega clubs inthe city back inthe 90's when megaclubs were the s$$$ in NYC. If you ever saw American Psycho, or the movie Kids(they called it nasa), that is where it was filmed. Near the end of the club's run in the mid 90's, I had a girlfriend, and she wasn't much of a clubhead, but would do anything I wanted, so she sucked it up and came along one night. Just like in the movie Kids, the bathroom was a room of it's own at the club with a dj and bar, and I caught a moderately decent bj in the stall. To be fair to her, there were tons of people around, so I can understand her being nervous. Besides, a BJ is like pizza, when it is good it is great, but when it is bad, it's still ok.

11) (added later) in my ex girlfriend's room

I dated a chick who had a twin sister, and the twin was dating my boy jerry. We used to have sex all the time in the bedroom that the twins shared, with the sister and Jerry in there.

Like I said, nothing really too crazy, but most of them when taken with the stories attached are pretty good. MY ultimate is still unrealized, hopefully I will work it out and report back, full on sex in the NYC subway.

Oh, and to my parents who I have a feeling have decided to start reading my blogs on the sneak, you may want to forget about this site, it is only going to get worse, MUHAHAHA

Anyone that reads this whole thing is either an idiot, or a virgin. I can't even imagine putting this much time or thought into such a simple question. Maybe if the question was, "joebaby, would you please tell me about your sex life", or "Joebaby, describe, in detail, your thoughts on the opposite sex." (not really a question, but you get the point)

Oh yeah, don't respond with a picture of your penis extension, i get it, you drive a hummer, awesome

back to the question...

on a roommates bed i suppose...i guess you sort of have to know the roommate. :lol:.

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Anyone that reads this whole thing is either an idiot, or a virgin. I can't even imagine putting this much time or thought into such a simple question. Maybe if the question was, "joebaby, would you please tell me about your sex life", or "Joebaby, describe, in detail, your thoughts on the opposite sex." (not really a question, but you get the point)

Oh yeah, don't respond with a picture of your penis extension, i get it, you drive a hummer, awesome

back to the question...

on a roommates bed i suppose...i guess you sort of have to know the roommate. :lol:.

I believe Joebaby just got shanked via the internet. A virtual shanking if you will :rl:

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Anyone that reads this whole thing is either an idiot, or a virgin. I can't even imagine putting this much time or thought into such a simple question. Maybe if the question was, "joebaby, would you please tell me about your sex life", or "Joebaby, describe, in detail, your thoughts on the opposite sex." (not really a question, but you get the point)

Oh yeah, don't respond with a picture of your penis extension, i get it, you drive a hummer, awesome

back to the question...

on a roommates bed i suppose...i guess you sort of have to know the roommate. :lol:.

well, like i said at the beginning, i had written a blog about this subject a while ago, just cut and pasted it so it took all of 2 minutes to do. But had i done it from scratch i could write that in 15 minutes tops, i write pretty well.

Let me ask you a question drago, do you have one of those ball jars at home like max? Sure sounds like it to me, but whatev, i guess you have to tell it whatever it needs to hear sometimes to keep the peace, even if it makes you look like a pansy @ss to the men who still posess there testes satchels. lol

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Thor99's living room. I wish he'd been there to see it.

You could have just asked him to turn around.

well, like i said at the beginning, i had written a blog about this subject a while ago, just cut and pasted it so it took all of 2 minutes to do. But had i done it from scratch i could write that in 15 minutes tops, i write pretty well.

Let me ask you a question drago, do you have one of those ball jars at home like max? Sure sounds like it to me, but whatev, i guess you have to tell it whatever it needs to hear sometimes to keep the peace, even if it makes you look like a pansy @ss to the men who still posess there testes satchels. lol

You keep yours in a satchel?

On top of the dryer. The dryer was at her friend's house in the bedroom closet and they were having a party in the living room. It was the night Glen Rice was all star MVP.

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Let me ask you a question drago, do you have one of those ball jars at home like max? Sure sounds like it to me, but whatev, i guess you have to tell it whatever it needs to hear sometimes to keep the peace, even if it makes you look like a pansy @ss to the men who still posess there testes satchels. lol

I can't say i'm too concerened with anything you are anyone on this board think of me in regards to my sex life. Apparently you are concerned with it...

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well, like i said at the beginning, i had written a blog about this subject a while ago, just cut and pasted it so it took all of 2 minutes to do. But had i done it from scratch i could write that in 15 minutes tops, i write pretty well.

Let me ask you a question drago, do you have one of those ball jars at home like max? Sure sounds like it to me, but whatev, i guess you have to tell it whatever it needs to hear sometimes to keep the peace, even if it makes you look like a pansy @ss to the men who still posess there testes satchels. lol

Joe --

I know you were kidding but I am going to respond seriously. It takes much bigger balls to be with the same girl for a long time than are required for anything that you do.

All you need is an HMO, lol.

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