Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Thor99

First Annual JetNation Tourney

Recommended Posts

KH & I are tied @ 4 each.

You are wrong sir. Kidhuman voted for himself, Arsis voted for the both of you. GG, ThaiJet and Panzer all voted for KH.

That's 5. You lose, stop whining.

There may be a silver lining in all of this. Smizzy might be leaving the board now!!:headbang:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You are wrong sir. Kidhuman voted for himself, Arsis voted for the both of you. GG, ThaiJet and Panzer all voted for KH.

That's 5. You lose, stop whining.

There may be a silver lining in all of this. Smizzy might be leaving the board now!!:headbang:

If you can't beat em...Join em.

When is the next battle for Endor? I'm in!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When is the next battle for Endor? I'm in!

I'm not sure, but BP will be the largest Ewok ever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If you can't beat em...Join em.

When is the next battle for Endor? I'm in!

Two weeks after the draft, you are in. Rebels or Empire?

Bugg vs. Gainzo - Gainzo thinks its Rugby and goes for a one man scrum. Unfortunately, nobody has the ball and Gainzo is looking for it, Bugg with a quick school boy pin

BP vs. #27 - #27 thinks BP is a walking squirrel and takes him down quickly.

JetMoses vs. Panzer - Jetmo puts up a fight, but in the end, ends like like JR128, dead in a sig. PDM in a close one

Bob vs. Alk - Here it is, the iron man match up. 60 minutes, most pin falls win it all. Alk takes a quick 2-0 lead after 27 minutes. In minute 34, Bob gets one back. Tooth and nail, blow for blow until minute 52 when Bob scores a quick pin. the match rages on for 6 more minute, blood everywhere. Alk goes for a clothes line and ob blocks it and slips it into a Chicken wing. Bob rips off is mask and reveals he is bob Backlund. Bob gets the submission tap out at 59 minutes and 26 seconds. Alk falls down and time runs out. Bob wins this one

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bugg vs. Gainzo: It's Jonah Lomu versus Tony Underwood all over again. For all non rugby fans, it was when the hope of a nation was simply walked over by a big lump of a New Zealander. Bugg puts up a good fight, but just doesn't have the luck or the sneakiness to prevail.

BP vs. #27: #27 is frantic, trying to replace his Robot Squirrel Army after the devastation caused by Faba. He ends up bringing a flamethrower. The fight starts, and as BP lurches forwards, #27 opens up, turning BP into a Bigfoot torch. The stench of burning hair is horrendous, but not as horrendous as the effect on BP. Now hairless, his strength is all gone. #27 moves in for a quick 1-2 and BP is down and out.

However more worrying, the long term effect of the fire on his hair turns out to be similar to the effect Michael Jackson's hair fire had. BP now sleeps in an oxygen chamber and makes truly terrible music.

JetMoses vs. Panzer: JetMoses and Panzer meet in the ring to start with. They shake hands. They return to their corners.

Then the arena, and everything in a 2 mile radius is consumed in a firestorm, wiping out everything.

An hour later, JetMo walks out of the charred wasteland. Followed by Panzer.

JetMo turns to Panzer, salutes him, and collapses, dead. Panzer acknowledges JetMo's brave, but ultimately futile fight.

Bob vs. Alk: In his bunker, Alk psyches himself up for this by watching as many Will Ferrell films as possible, while finishing work on his orbital laser. Bob has a couple of beers, and sharpens a katana. The fight starts with Alk quoting Ferrell's one liners. Bob keeps calm, knowing Alk is trying to put him off. Alk keeps it up, but he's running out of material, Bob is doing a very good impression of Silent Bob, and starts to unnerve Alk. Finally Alk stops, and demands Bob says something. Bob looks at him, and speaks. "Zoolander sucked donkey balls". Alk goes f**king postal, and runs at Bob taking an almighty swing. However, in his fury, he gets careless. Bob steps aside, and uses his katana to slash Alk's belly. Alk, trying to stop his intestines falling out grabs a staple gun, and staples his belly back together, and proceeds to frantically try to activate the laser. However, he's still bleeding profusely, and as Bob moves in for the kill, he slips on the blood. The katana flies up in the air, and comes down, through Bob's left shoulder, pinning him to the floor. Alk, sensing triumph, staggers over to Bob. He puts down the orbital laser remote, figuring he can finish Bob off with his bare hands and is about to administer the coup de grace, when Bob yanks the katana out of his shoulder, and with the same swin, neatly decapitates Alk.

Alk's head flies through the air, and lands on the remote, activating it. Sadly in his haste, Alk had put in the wrong co-ordinates. BZ gets vapourised.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bugg vs. Gainzo

BP vs. #27

JetMoses vs. Panzer. I'd pay to see that one.

Bob vs. Alk, exactly as PDM described it, except I don't own a katana. I own a Claymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bugg vs Gainzo, BP over 27, BP puts the Kingsley to good use again, JetMo vs. Panzer blitzes to victory , Bob vs Alk out of town but still victorious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Max, Thor99, Arsis and shockingly, Kidhuman are through to the next round.

Smizzy is going to be pissed.:rl:

Bugg vs. Gainzo

BP vs. #27

JetMoses vs. Panzer

Bob vs. Alk

Gainzo

BP

Panzer

Bob

Yeah, I voted for myself. Know why? I am losing to Bugg for goodness sakes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I voted for myself every time, because what kind of low self esteem does it take to vote that you're going to lose a fight?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I voted for myself every time, because what kind of low self esteem does it take to vote that you're going to lose a fight?

I voted for myself, too. How much would it suck to throw a sporting vote to your opponent, then lose by one?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I voted for myself, too. How much would it suck to throw a sporting vote to your opponent, then lose by one?

I thought about that too, I know this is trivial but I'd like to get as far as possible. It's fun for me as long as I am in it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob, BP and Panzer are through to the round of eight.

Bugg leads Gainzo 4-3.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
you guys are wusssssssssssezzzzz but whatever :rolleyes: i am totally over it.. although watch out for the wrath of a woman scorned. :P

anyway..

bp vs #27...even though #27 is use to hairy women in europe.. sasquash is just too overwhelming.. and his drain clogs as he showers after another one of bp's bear hugs.. and he drowns.. bp's fur is the victor!

Greengal, you suck!! I finally get a chance to post after three days of relentlessly dull meetings and I have to read this? There is no shame in losing to BP, but did I have to shower with him too?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bugg vs. Gainzo

BP vs. #27

JetMoses vs. Panzer. I'd pay to see that one.

Bob vs. Alk, exactly as PDM described it, except I don't own a katana. I own a Claymore.

Yeah I considered the claymore, but I figured if you used it, you'd have needed both arms to slice his head off with it. And it would have probably severed your arm when it fell on you. :mrgreen:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Greengal, you suck!! I finally get a chance to post after three days of relentlessly dull meetings and I have to read this? There is no shame in losing to BP, but did I have to shower with him too?

as far as i was aware i thought this was a positive trait in a woman :shock::lol: so i guess i will take it as a compliment... OY!

anyway..i am not responsible for your 3 days of dull meetings.. and at least i gave you a shower.. would you have prefered to wear the hair like a badge of honor? sheeesh.. some men are such divas... ;)

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Smizzy might be leaving the board now!!:headbang:

All you have to do is ask nicely.

That would NEVER happen. Some things are just ingrained into your life.

JN = Smizzy

Smizzy = JN

Never shall the two separate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i vote for bugg (JN's most underrated poster imho) and any other jets fan over any pats fan. can't believe jets fan self-hate has sunk so low..if a pats fan wins this ludicrous popularity contest:

Fonzie_jumps_the_shark.PNG

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to JGB, who apparently borrowed Garb's horse and is now the resident expert on what is ludicrous, Bugg moves on to the next round.

Kidhuman vs. Arsis

Max vs. Thor99

Bugg vs. BP

Panzer vs. Bob

Look how popular everyone is!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Arsis opens kidhuman's vintage third doctor doll which was in its origional packaging. Kidhuman faints. Arsis wins.

I'm not really a big fan of Sumo so I'm only guessing here but I think that Max would win this one.

Bigfoot squashes bugg like a bug.

Bob has no shot, Panzer rips through his chest rips out and devours his still beating heart.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kidhuman vs. Arsis - Kidhuman is feeling strong after his big win against the #1 seed. KH is strong with the force and quick on his feet.He also has a great strategical mind from countless reenactments of the battle of endor in his living room. He goes in for the kill but Arsis is quicker and out of nowhere WHAM! Arsis kills KH with a Puerto Rican Power Punch that takes KH head clean off his body and splatters his midichlorians all over the people in the good seats.

Max vs. Thor99 - The battle of the bulge,Literally. Both men come to the ring greasy... they both try to grab and wrestle each other but find it impossible with the layers of KFC grease caked up between their super fat,sausage like fingers. Both men tire and thor taps out to get something to eat. Max wins.

Bugg vs. BP - No human can kill big foot. It's impossible to penetrate his mane. BF as we like to call him gives him a dose of death breath and Bugg is done.

Ps...Death Breath comes when BF spends the afternoon licking his own bean bag.

Panzer vs. Bob - Bob & his stache are in the best shape of their long lives but Panzer is a no-show for the fight. Bob waits and waits and right when he's about to leave " Get out! the bridge it is out! get out!" is heard right before several thousand machine gun bullets rip through BobtheJetsFan.

Panzer wins.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BP is STILL behind the wheel of the Kingsley and toolin around the Jets parking lot when SPLAT !! There's Bug, DOA with BP's windshield. Panzer crushes Bob then runs over his lifeless carcus like, well....like a Panzer tank would. In the KH vs Arsis match and Max vs Thor 99 all contestants have retired for the evening unable to achieve victory.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BP is STILL behind the wheel of the Kingsley and toolin around the Jets parking lot when SPLAT !! There's Bug, DOA with BP's windshield. Panzer crushes Bob then runs over his lifeless carcus like, well....like a Panzer tank would. In the KH vs Arsis match and Max vs Thor 99 all contestants have retired for the evening unable to achieve victory.

So, if I'm still here does that mean I get the win?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So, if I'm still here does that mean I get the win?

NO. It means as of now it's a draw, with the fight continuing in the morning.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kidhuman vs. Arsis - The two shake hands. The Doctor has no effect on this match. Arsis attempts to use some psychology on KH, but he isnt having it. He pulls out a gun and shoots him in the leg. KH wins this one

Max vs. Thor99 - Max and Thor99 begin having gay sex until both pass out. Double Countout

Bugg vs. BP - We finally find out why BP is so hairy. Chinchillas have been hibernating on him. He unleashes them on Bugg. BP

Panzer vs. Bob - Panzers hardest fought battle yet. Bob the old dog, has some new tricks. PDM falls prey to one of them and falls into the hole early on. In a shocking move PDM reaches up and rips Bobs heart out and eats it while Bob looks on. PDM in a win

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL!!! all of these draws! :lol: what about of wusssssssses.. make up your minds! sheesh! what are you.. afraid of UPSETTING someone? :P

anyway...

Kiidhuman v. Arsis... Arsis looks for his next opponent .. but KH being sharp .. crouches down so Arsis in all his height cant see him.. he pulls a tonya harding.. gets Arsis to start to fall and then he clubs him.. KH with the win.

Max v. Thor... Thor is a viking.. Thor has declared his love for me ( and yes i realize he is lying) Max has done nothing but belittle me.. i am a mad woman ( in anger and craziness) and i am not afraid of him.. Thor in an easy win :D

Bugg v. bp.. bugg was the cinderella pick and he made all the way to the elite 8.. but the fur was too much.. even though he had been told about it.. he didnt realize.. he was thrown because of the lack of hair on bp's head.. so he got c0cky.. but when bp unleashed the bodily fur.. bugg bugged out.. and bp just stood their, brushing his mane.. with a smile on his face.. while bugg was taking the last train to clarksville.

bob v. pdm... bob is awesome.. but i had pdm as the guy grapping the blood soaked brass ring as it were.. so although bob puts up a good fight.. the sheer power of pdm.. his photoshop ability and model planes is too much for bob's grammar and excellent politics.. pdm in a close one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As the fights continue Max dreams of finally running his 10k , However he oversleeps, never reshows and Thor99 wins ! KidHuman gets refreshed from his sleep and finshes off Arsis who later admits that he is NOT a morning person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kidhuman vs. Arsis. The kid had a good run. It's over.

Max vs. Thor99. This one sets off Richter scales across the planet, causing widespread panic. Thor wins. Humanity loses.

Bugg vs. BP. How did Bugg get this far? Kudos, man. Shame it has to end this way.

Panzer vs. Bob. A man's got to know his limitations. I've always known mine. I can take most of you bastards, but I'm no match for the true master of mayhem. Marduk continues his march to the crown

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kidhuman vs. Arsis - Arsis pulls out a fake mod shield and yells "Auxiliary Mod, touch me and you will be banned for 30 days". Kidhuman, knowing that an auxiliary mod has as much authority as an auxiliary cop plants a Romanian Temple Crusher on the side of Aris's head instantly ending the match.

Max vs. Thor99 - At the request of the JN faithful, both men come out wearing Sumo diapers. Both however are exhausted by the 100 yard walk from the dressing room and keel over. Max falls over first, so even though Thor is also unconscious, technically he is the winner. Unfortunately 15 people are hurt when the forklift brought in to carry both men from the ring careens out of control and plows into the crowd.

Bugg vs. BP - BP,employing a new strategy, runs 5 miles on the treadmill before the fight. He enters the ring looking like a big sweaty sponge. As the match progresses Bugg swallows a large volume of BP's sweat and passes out, apparently drowned. The medical staff works on him until he coughs up a gallon of BP sweat and begins breathing again. Thank god he's okay.

PDM vs. Bob - Bob, feeling very confident dances around sticking the jab. Getting a little c o c k y he starts comparing the beer that that PDM drinks to warm piss water. An enraged PDM grabs his laptop and quickly conjures up a laser sig that zaps Bob into a pile of ashes. Bob's fatal mistake was shaving off the legendary moustache. Didn't he ever hear the Samson haircut myth when he was a kid?? Geez.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kidhuman vs. Arsis: Arsis and Kidhuman go at it. Kidhuman borrows the Tardis from the Doctor, Arsis nicks Captain Jack's vortex manipulator. A literal battle of the ages results. Think Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but with s**tloads of death, mayhem and general destruction.

In ancient Egypt, a wild shot by Arsis takes out the Sphinx's nose.

Siberia, 1908. Kidhuman fires a nuke at Arsis, Arsis jumps out. People still think the blast was caused by a meteor.

1349, on a ship bound for Genoa. Arsis punches Kidhuman, causing him to sneeze. merely normal common cold germs, but in those days, no-one had any resistance, and by the time the ship reaches Genoa, 95% of the crew are dead, and what becomes known as the Black Death is about to wipe out 50% of Europe's population.

1666. The Great Fire of London. The cause? Arsis drops some napalm on Kidhuman. Kidhuman runs screaming, burning and travels to the Ice Age to roll in the snow to put the flames out. Scarred, and in agony, Kidhuman realises he has only one chance. He flees to Gallifrey, home of the Time Lords. Arsis swallows the bait. By the time Arsis arrives, KH has had time to set up a trap. Arsis' vortex manipulator is damaged by an EMP device activatred by Kidhuman, who proceeds to jump back into the Tardis. Arsis desperately tries to fix his little gadget as he knows what's about to happen, but he's too late. The Last Time War reaches its climax, and Gallifrey, and Arsis are burnt to atoms.

Max vs. Thor99: The big boys go at it, casuing faultlines to rupture, the erath to wobble, but that's minor compared to whjat happens. Thor gets Max in a headlock, at which point their combined mass, and the resultant gravitational pull, begin to suck in the entire solar system towards Earth. After Pretoria and Beijing are destroyed by asteroids, the scientific community finally manage to get the fight stopped, as an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for the United States. Max decides to lie down, and the asteroid bounces off his belly, back into space. The Earth is saved. But Max isn't. Thor takes advantage of the distraction to sit on Max's face. Max, while loving it, sadly suffocates. he dies happy, though.

Bugg vs. BP: Bugg's luck runs out here. BP rips off one of his arms, and uses it as a toothpick for Bugg. Bugg proceeds to choke on his own arm.

Panzer vs. Bob: Bob and Panzer face off in the ring. Panzer stares at Bob and says "Die." Bob drops dead.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did I get the reputation for being fat and gay? Most peculiar, mama.

The Final Four is set.

Kidhuman vs. Panzer

Thor99 vs. BP

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How did I get the reputation for being fat and gay? Most peculiar, mama.

Ummm, many of us have met you. The John Lennon reference was cool, though.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  



Content Partnership

Yes Network

Site Sponsor

MILE-Social - NJ Social Media & SEO company
×
×
  • Create New...