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First Annual JetNation Tourney


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Smizzy does a Moe, Larry, the cheese thing on Bit and they have to rub limburger on his head just to get him out of the ring.

Beans runs Max into a hyperventilating mess (in about 13 seconds) and in a last chance effort - Max does a "your shoes untied" and slips Beans into a figure 4 death lock.

JFBM looks at all the sweat and whatnot in the ring and say's - I don't think so - 124 by default.

eC works his strong wear'em out suit - but Jetmo just laughs on bonks him on the melon with a beer bottle.

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Kidhuman vs. Panzer: Short and sweet. Kidhuman asks Panzer to spare his life. Unfortunately by the time he finishes saying the first word his head is bouncing along the floor. No regeneration for him.

Smizzy vs. Bitonti- Even though bitonti is bigger and already has his shirt off, Smizzy wins by countout. Bitonti is not down with violence. Besides, this tourney takes place two weeks before the d

In a very close battle Kid Human uses his superior intelligence to over come The Troll. Gainzo uses his trollest powers to over come Mike in a match that doesn't take long. Panzer rolls over Matt l

Smizzy, Max, 124(barely) and JetMoses all advance to the second round.

Next group of first round matches are-

SouthernJet vs. NJ

SFJ vs. Serphnx

Faba vs. GM

Alk vs. ShadowJet

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Smizzy, Max, 124(barely) and JetMoses all advance to the second round.

Next group of first round matches are-

SouthernJet vs. NJ

SFJ vs. Serphnx

Faba vs. GM

Alk vs. ShadowJet

NJ

Serp

Faba

Alk

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SouthernJet vs. NJ- In a stroke of genius, NJ shows up for the match wearing a gas mask and quickly overpowers the elderly gentleman from North Carolina. Unfortunately for NJ, SJ prepared for the match by eating raisins, beets, cabbage and kielbasa. There is no gas mask in the world that can keep those fumes out. Winner, SJ

SFJ vs. Serphnx-SFJ tried to bow out, claiming some mystery injury. However, he risked a breach of contract lawsuit if he didn't show. At the bell, SFJ lay down in the middle of the ring and Serphnx covers him for the easy pin. Lawsuit pending.

Faba vs. GM- In quite possibly the most violent match of the first round, faba goes at GM like a spider monkey. The video of this match was quickly taken down at Youtube for excessive violence. The things that faba did to GM are beyond description. Thoughts and prayers out to GM, who is still in the ICU at Beth Israel.

Alk vs. ShadowJet- In a back and forth match, ShadowJet risked disqualification when the masked wrestler known only as 'The Sister-in-Law' rushed the ring and attacked Alk. Alk was able to repel the attack and finished off Shadow with his signature move, 'The Garage Door Opener'.

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Alk vs. ShadowJet- In a back and forth match, ShadowJet risked disqualification when the masked wrestler known only as 'The Sister-in-Law' rushed the ring and attacked Alk. Alk was able to repel the attack and finished off Shadow with his signature move, 'The Garage Door Opener'.

:rl: Brilliant!!

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SouthernJet vs. NJ - SJ bores NJ to death with his one man Siskel and Ebert imitation. SJ

SFJ vs. Serphnx - SFJ beats Serpnx in the head with his guitar ala Honky Tonk Man, SFJ

Faba vs. GM - You dont F with the mob guys - Faba

Alk vs. ShadowJet - Alk takes this one with the help from his wrestling kid intefering with the match. Alk

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Smizzy, Max, 124(barely) and JetMoses all advance to the second round.

Next group of first round matches are-

SouthernJet vs. NJ - SouthernJet comes out firing with a lethal brown toxic cloud which immediately puts NJ on the canvas with a a seemingly easy mercy killing to folllow. However before applying the coup de grace, SouthernJet taunts NJ, pointing out apparent weaknesses in his parenting skills. NJ flies into a rage causing him to make a Rocky Balboa like miraculous recovery and applying the seldom seen hammerlock of death. NJ wins.

SFJ vs. Serphnx - SFJ brings his guitar into the ring and soon the combatants are singing koombaya together. During the second verse SFJ pounces and quickly puts an end to the match.

Faba vs. GM - Nobody effs with faba. faba will rip your heart out and eat it for lunch, however in this case he quickly goes to his patented "balls in a vice" submission move. Not really necessary since faba could have just outsmarted GM being a Baruch graduate, but the fact is he is simply a sadistic bastard.

Alk vs. ShadowJet - ShadowJet tries to intimidate Alk by bragging about how he plays football. Alk is briefly intimidated until he realizes that ShadowJet is wearing a #51 jersey and actually weighs about as much as Alks Cat. Alk then tells ShadowJet that the fight has been moved to the chat room and ShadowJet heads off to meet him there, never to be heard from again. Alk wins by forfeit.

.

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I can't see how I'm going to lose.

Well, it looks like you're squaring off against joebaby so I'm going to guess that a used sex toy will be involved somewhere along the line.

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Well, it looks like you're squaring off against joebaby so I'm going to guess that a used sex toy will be involved somewhere along the line.

I will ceremoniously skull-f$$$ the dead corpse of each opponent I lay to rest on my way to glory

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SouthernJet vs. NJ -NJ takes the lead early. It's actually pretty east to be an old man with a plastic hip but what NJ didn't expect was the Carolina Connection (JGB & Assmop) to jump out from under the ring to distract the rep while SJ uses a foreign object to knock NJ unconscious and pin him.

SFJ vs. Serphnx -SFJ goes into an Ozzy Ozbourne like rage and totally annihilates Serphynx in the bloodiest match thus far

Faba vs. GM - GM thought the weight difference would give him the upper hand. What he didn't expect was Faba's ability to turn sideways and become completely invisible to the naked human eye. before he knew it,Faba was SLICING AND DICING GM with his razor sharp wrists and it was all over.

Alk vs. ShadowJet - ALk comes out and shoves a cobb of corn up ShadowJet's ass and he is paralyzed. Alk then goes deliverance on him and the match is over in 3 minutes.

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