So what do you all do for a living?

[afosomf]

I sell Wife-beater T's

[DHJF]

But how will you ever survive the internetz shame?

[DHJF]

dam bro you suck.. i wish i could neg rep your ass i should of known you were lying after the blonde hash comment

LOL! Never said I was lying about Amsterdam or the blonde. I may have just, umm, embellished the story a tad.

[Borgoguy]

dam bro you suck.. i wish i could neg rep your ass i should of known you were lying after the blonde hash comment

You should positive rep him. That was a great bit. Too bad some spoil sport ruined the game.

[Borgoguy]

I'm naming my first kid Nurhan 6. I was going to go with Joe the Plumber, but how can I not name him that after that story.

You, my friend, are a connaisseur.

[Aten]

Why so negative about my writing? I'll have you know that I was Robert McKee's main coffee technician for many years. What better training, I ask?

You haven't been on the board very long, so you could not have known of my distaste for braggarts and all things even mildly related to sexually suggestive, or risque, humor. Since you have questioned my abilities as a literary artist, I will--on this one occasion--let all of you in on a project that I have nearly completed. I've been working closely with several members of the kitchen staff at Skywalker Ranch, who have assured me that "Mr. L" likes my concept, and should be green lighted soon. I don't think he will mind my sharing of the main idea for the project, which I originally pitched as Total Recall, meets Benji, meets The Karate Kid.

It's the story of a man--Nurhan 6--who is sent from another dimension to share the secret to curing all forms of cancer in our realm. Problems begin almost immediately, however, as our hero--inexplicably transformed into an adorable beagle--lands in a small, rural Texas town shortly after the end of the Vietnam Conflict, which is now the home of many Vietnamese immigrants. Further, because of the a scrambling of his molecules during the inter-dimensional travel, Nurhan 6 arrives--tragically--with an extreme case of Tourette's Syndrome (barking manifestation) and a profound speech impediment, often referred to as "hiccup stammering".

Anxious to share his life saving information with our world, Nurhan 6 valiantly attempts to communicate with any human he sees to tell them that he is really a man from another dimension sent to cure our dreaded cancer plague. Alas, all that comes out of the frisky pooch's mouth is a strange, staccato, barking noise. This leads to a gathering of people who point and laugh at our "canine" pal. The more Nurhan 6 tries to speak, the louder they laugh, eventually leading to full fledged guffaws. Seeing their insensitivity, and feeling their cruel ridicule, Nurhan 6 decides at that very moment that we are not ready for this important gift, and to never share his secret with these "Neanderthal heathens". As he starts to storm away, a young Hmong boy, Ngyuen--who has witnessed this sad scene--picks up Nurhan 6 and whisks him away to his ramshackle home on the outskirts of town.

The rest of the film at this stage in development involves Nurhan 6 witnessing the many torments and tribulations that Ngyuen endures at the hands of cruel schoolmates, and his family and their friends, by boorish rednecks in the community who abhor the immgrants. Finally, after days of seeing the courageous struggle of Ngyuen and the others, Nurhan 6 decides that he will work arduously through his speech impediment and finally share his revelation. On this fateful day, Ngyuen and several of his friends grab and muzzle the pooch, then transport him to a nearby treehouse where he is savagely--and graphically--sexually assaulted by the boys. Fear not, as a truly uplifting moment ensues next as Nurhan 6 valiantly escapes their clutches, leaps from the treehouse, and runs off down the street accompanied by a swelling musical arrangement, orchestrated by the grand nephew of uber-composer Hans Zimmer. Sadly, though, Nurhan 6 is struck by a speeding mail truck--on its appointed rounds--killing him instantly.

Though I am only in the preliminary phases of discussion, my plan is to enlist the guidance of adult film legends Vanessa Del Rio and Christy Canyon to bring an air of realism to the barbaric canine rape scene. So, as you have read--and I hope you will admit--you have vastly underestimated my writing "chops". But, please don't worry yourself. An apology is not necessary.

Nor forthcoming. Imagine how many ditches you could've dug in the time you spent banging that out. Time is money. Back to work.

[Norway'sWaddlingMarmaloof]

You should positive rep him. That was a great bit. Too bad some spoil sport ruined the game.

A she-male that shall remain nameless?

[DHJF]

Nor forthcoming. Imagine how many ditches you could've dug in the time you spent banging that out. Time is money. Back to work.

Have you aten dinner yet? I haven't aten a good meal since I had a wisdom pulled yesterday morning.

[Borgoguy]

Nor forthcoming. Imagine how many ditches you could've dug in the time you spent banging that out. Time is money. Back to work.

Stream of consciousness, young lad. That took all of two minutes of condensing my story treatment originally sent to "Mr. L".

[Thai Jet]

Have you aten dinner yet? I haven't aten a good meal since I had a wisdom pulled yesterday morning.

[Borgoguy]

Have you aten dinner yet? I haven't aten a good meal since I had a wisdom pulled yesterday morning.

Why is she so mean? She seems like a nice enough person in the avatar.

[joebabyny]

Why so negative about my writing? I'll have you know that I was Robert McKee's main coffee technician for many years. What better training, I ask?

You haven't been on the board very long, so you could not have known of my distaste for braggarts and all things even mildly related to sexually suggestive, or risque, humor. Since you have questioned my abilities as a literary artist, I will--on this one occasion--let all of you in on a project that I have nearly completed. I've been working closely with several members of the kitchen staff at Skywalker Ranch, who have assured me that "Mr. L" likes my concept, and should be green lighted soon. I don't think he will mind my sharing of the main idea for the project, which I originally pitched as Total Recall, meets Benji, meets The Karate Kid.

It's the story of a man--Nurhan 6--who is sent from another dimension to share the secret to curing all forms of cancer in our realm. Problems begin almost immediately, however, as our hero--inexplicably transformed into an adorable beagle--lands in a small, rural Texas town shortly after the end of the Vietnam Conflict, which is now the home of many Vietnamese immigrants. Further, because of the a scrambling of his molecules during the inter-dimensional travel, Nurhan 6 arrives--tragically--with an extreme case of Tourette's Syndrome (barking manifestation) and a profound speech impediment, often referred to as "hiccup stammering".

Anxious to share his life saving information with our world, Nurhan 6 valiantly attempts to communicate with any human he sees to tell them that he is really a man from another dimension sent to cure our dreaded cancer plague. Alas, all that comes out of the frisky pooch's mouth is a strange, staccato, barking noise. This leads to a gathering of people who point and laugh at our "canine" pal. The more Nurhan 6 tries to speak, the louder they laugh, eventually leading to full fledged guffaws. Seeing their insensitivity, and feeling their cruel ridicule, Nurhan 6 decides at that very moment that we are not ready for this important gift, and to never share his secret with these "Neanderthal heathens". As he starts to storm away, a young Hmong boy, Ngyuen--who has witnessed this sad scene--picks up Nurhan 6 and whisks him away to his ramshackle home on the outskirts of town.

The rest of the film at this stage in development involves Nurhan 6 witnessing the many torments and tribulations that Ngyuen endures at the hands of cruel schoolmates, and his family and their friends, by boorish rednecks in the community who abhor the immgrants. Finally, after days of seeing the courageous struggle of Ngyuen and the others, Nurhan 6 decides that he will work arduously through his speech impediment and finally share his revelation. On this fateful day, Ngyuen and several of his friends grab and muzzle the pooch, then transport him to a nearby treehouse where he is savagely--and graphically--sexually assaulted by the boys. Fear not, as a truly uplifting moment ensues next as Nurhan 6 valiantly escapes their clutches, leaps from the treehouse, and runs off down the street accompanied by a swelling musical arrangement, orchestrated by the grand nephew of uber-composer Hans Zimmer. Sadly, though, Nurhan 6 is struck by a speeding mail truck--on its appointed rounds--killing him instantly.

Though I am only in the preliminary phases of discussion, my plan is to enlist the guidance of adult film legends Vanessa Del Rio and Christy Canyon to bring an air of realism to the barbaric canine rape scene. So, as you have read--and I hope you will admit--you have vastly underestimated my writing "chops". But, please don't worry yourself. An apology is not necessary.

i read the first 2 sentences and then just gave up, although i am sure it was funny or interesting because borgo usually is.

[Aten]

i read the first 2 sentences and then just gave up, although i am sure it was funny or interesting because borgo usually is.

Now here's a guy with a gift for fiction.

[Borgoguy]

i read the first 2 sentences and then just gave up, although i am sure it was funny or interesting because borgo usually is.

Just some stupid s**t I let fly at the keyboard. Nothing that demented or special. Hey, speaking of letting fly, when do I block out the space lesbian scenes?

[Borgoguy]

Now here's a guy with a gift for fiction.

Stop. Go pop a Midol and cool out.

[DHJF]

Now here's a guy with a gift for fiction.

I was trying to print Borgo's story, but all of the paper got aten in the paper feed.

[Garb]

i read the first 2 sentences and then just gave up, although i am sure it was funny or interesting because borgo usually is.

he is?

kidding, Borgo - couldn't resist the softball. However, seriously dude, you write a seven page noevella and post it on JETNATION for posters to read? The average attention span here is equivalent to that of a four year olds - mine included - c'mon......

[Big Al NYC]

I'm a management consultant.

[Jets Babe]

yo is your life that boring that you have to constantly put people on blast and and prove them wrong all the time... maybe you should change or major to Criminal Justice and become a private dik(because you obviously dont get any)

to be honest, i didn't even get that info. a little birdie told me and then told me to bust him...i'm just really good at busting balls.

[Arsis]

Borgo is a literary Genius. I haven't read high quality fiction of that kind since Kafka's "The Castle." That is just a funny yet tragic story that really tugs at your heart strings. You should get pixar to animate it and Spielberg to direct it.

Bravo.

[Panzer Division Marduk]

Thanks, dude. I'll send you one of my scripts where a private school headmistress in Lima, Peru becomes possessed by the spirit of Field Marshall Rommel. Though there is a fair bit of ritualistic livestock slaughter and significant human carnage carried out by dwarves, much levity ensues. At the end of the story, both the headmistress--and any remaining school girls who have not been cut to ribbons--learn a valuable lesson. I'm thinking of submitting it for Peabody consideration. Do you think Conan or one of his guests would green light the project? Let me know soon, as I am half way through pitching this concept to Lucas Films.

You just know Lucas will butcher it. Rommel will be replaced by that Toht guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, the dwarves will be replaced by a bunch of ETs, and all the carnage will be replaced by CGI explosions that look terrible.

Try pitching it to Peter Jackson instead.

[DHJF]

to be honest, i didn't even get that info. a little birdie told me and then told me to bust him...i'm just really good at busting balls.

Okay, who is this? Jenn? Or mom maybe? I told you I'd ring the phone twice when I got home.

[Borgoguy]

You just know Lucas will butcher it. Rommel will be replaced by that Toht guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, the dwarves will be replaced by a bunch of ETs, and all the carnage will be replaced by CGI explosions that look terrible.

Try pitching it to Peter Jackson instead.

I rarely get positive, insightful feedback such as this. Thank you, Panzer. The Peter Jackson angle is brilliant. I'm on it! Coincidentally, I had sent Jackson's people a reworking of Hedda Gabler, with Herv

[Borgoguy]

he is?

kidding, Borgo - couldn't resist the softball. However, seriously dude, you write a seven page noevella and post it on JETNATION for posters to read? The average attention span here is equivalent to that of a four year olds - mine included - c'mon......

I believe in the intrinsic goodness and intelligence of the posters on this board, dammit.

[Borgoguy]

to be honest, i didn't even get that info. a little birdie told me and then told me to bust him...i'm just really good at busting balls.

Come on, JB. Let the bits roll. That's the best way to get some comedic posts flying.

[Jets Babe]

Come on, JB. Let the bits roll. That's the best way to get some comedic posts flying.

borgo...i thought we were cool now?

[Borgoguy]

borgo...i thought we were cool now?

We are. I was just saying that it's cool to let these fake posts roll so that funny posts are created in response.

[Borgoguy]

Borgo is a literary Genius. I haven't read high quality fiction of that kind since Kafka's "The Castle." That is just a funny yet tragic story that really tugs at your heart strings. You should get pixar to animate it and Spielberg to direct it.

Bravo.

Thank you for your kind words, Arsis. The gifted are never beyond your sizable mental reach. Odd that you should mention The Castle, one of Kafka's more cerebral efforts. Just this week, I asked Max if he thought we could gather enough JetNation members to stage a production of the work. After a long pause, and healthy swig from his ever present flask of YooHoo, Max indicated that he might be able to secure a space and funding for a small scale production in 2009. Of course, he asked to be considered for the role of the main protagonist, "K". I hesitated slightly, as I feel he is best suited for the role of "K's" superior, Klamm, though I'll adhere to his wishes if it means getting the staging up and running.

The only other roles that I feel are perfectly cast--and would not change under any condition--are Verde as Freida the barmaid, and Garb as Gardena the landlady. Don't worry, my friend, I haver not forgotten you. I am saving the character of Barnabas' father for your unique acting skills. I am confident that you will bring the necessary

[Arsis]

Thank you for your kind words, Arsis. The gifted are never beyond your sizable mental reach. Odd that you should mention The Castle, one of Kafka's more cerebral efforts. Just this week, I asked Max if he thought we could gather enough JetNation members to stage a production of the work. After a long pause, and healthy swig from his ever present flask of YooHoo, Max indicated that he might be able to secure a space and funding for a small scale production in 2009. Of course, he asked to be considered for the role of the main protagonist, "K". I hesitated slightly, as I feel he is best suited for the role of "K's" superior, Klamm, though I'll adhere to his wishes if it means getting the staging up and running.

The only other roles that I feel are perfectly cast--and would not change under any condition--are Verde as Freida the barmaid, and Garb as Gardena the landlady. Don't worry, my friend, I haver not forgotten you. I am saving the character of Barnabas' father for your unique acting skills. I am confident that you will bring the necessary

[Panzer Division Marduk]

This is literally the best post I have ever read anywhere on the internet in my entire life. The post is so great they should shut down the internet because there is no way this is ever going to be topped. They should give up and start on the next piece of technology.

Al Gore called. Seems he invented Borgoguy.

[Borgoguy]

This is literally the best post I have ever read anywhere on the internet in my entire life. The post is so great they should shut down the internet because there is no way this is ever going to be topped. They should give up and start on the next piece of technology.

I wish every day could be like the last two. There is so much sarcasm and insanity being written on the board that I am--literally--doubled over laughing as I type this stuff. My sides hurt. There are a handful of posters on JetNation--one of which is you--that could drive the writing to new levels of madness. Thanks for adding fuel to the fire. Keep posting these obscure references. I swear, someone out there is laughing.

[Jets Babe]

Al Gore called. Seems he invented Borgoguy.

LOL!

[Borgoguy]

Al Gore called. Seems he invented Borgoguy.

Who do you think gave Clinton the cigar?

[Thor99]

awesome. what a phony dumbass.

So, in your gallant attempt to become the JN house detective you were fished in.

Who exactly is the dumbass?

[gg]

i design halloween costumes for animals most specifically ferrets, though i am hoping to break into cats and dogs. although i am not sure this is my passion..i am still trying to find myself.. though i got a glimpse of myself in a field the other day!

my princess ferret costume was a real hit!