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My wife is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Boozer76

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OK, let me preface this by saying my wife has always been the coolest, most laid back girl I've ever known. She's always been known as the party animal amongst the girls, always wanting to stay out late and have a good time. She was never one to nag me or put "shackles" on me if you will. If I wanted to go out I could. I always knew if she had any objections then I probably was pushing my luck.

Fast forward to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old son. He's the coolest, most easy going baby in the world. He sleeps through the night and he smiles and giggles all day long. We always said before he was born that we would allow each other time to go out with friends as well as go out together when we could get someone to babysit. We promised each other that we would still have a life outside of being a parent. There in lies my dilemma. Since my son was born my wife has literally not left my house at all, unless it was with my son and mostly to visit family or go food shopping. I have BEGGED her to go out ith her friends while I stayed home to watch Andrew. I have BEGGED her to do SOMETHING on her own so that she would still have a life and not become such a homebody. She absolutely refuses to do so, and now she is getting overbearing and even beligerent about me going out at all.

Last friday I went out with my best friend for a drink at work. I get out of work at 5pm. I told her it would be a quick beer and hen I'd be home. I pulled into my driveway at 6:15pm after 2 beers and promptly got the 3rd degree about how I stayed out late!! I chalked it up to her just having a bad day or something. Yesterday my company had a dinner function. It started at 5pm, I told her I wouldn't be home late. I walked in at 8:30pm and again got reemed for "staying out late"!!?? Tonight I had a gig. We played at 9:30 pm for an hour and a half. My brother is in the band and my sister in law came out as well. She apparantly even sent an email to my wife saying that her sister (someone we know and trust)would babysit and my wife just chose to ignore it. So after our gig they wanted me to hang. I called my wife to check in and she insisted I come home immediately. When I get home she already going to bed. She wanted to go to sleep because she was tired. So here I sit on my couch drinking beers typing this wondering with the **** happened to my wife and why the hell I'm sitting at home when I could have been having a good time with my brother. It's getting frustrating as hell!!

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OK, let me preface this by saying my wife has always been the coolest, most laid back girl I've ever known. She's always been known as the party animal amongst the girls, always wanting to stay out late and have a good time. She was never one to nag me or put "shackles" on me if you will. If I wanted to go out I could. I always knew if she had any objections then I probably was pushing my luck.

Fast forward to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old son. He's the coolest, most easy going baby in the world. He sleeps through the night and he smiles and giggles all day long. We always said before he was born that we would allow each other time to go out with friends as well as go out together when we could get someone to babysit. We promised each other that we would still have a life outside of being a parent. There in lies my dilemma. Since my son was born my wife has literally not left my house at all, unless it was with my son and mostly to visit family or go food shopping. I have BEGGED her to go out ith her friends while I stayed home to watch Andrew. I have BEGGED her to do SOMETHING on her own so that she would still have a life and not become such a homebody. She absolutely refuses to do so, and now she is getting overbearing and even beligerent about me going out at all.

Last friday I went out with my best friend for a drink at work. I get out of work at 5pm. I told her it would be a quick beer and hen I'd be home. I pulled into my driveway at 6:15pm after 2 beers and promptly got the 3rd degree about how I stayed out late!! I chalked it up to her just having a bad day or something. Yesterday my company had a dinner function. It started at 5pm, I told her I wouldn't be home late. I walked in at 8:30pm and again got reemed for "staying out late"!!?? Tonight I had a gig. We played at 9:30 pm for an hour and a half. My brother is in the band and my sister in law came out as well. She apparantly even sent an email to my wife saying that her sister (someone we know and trust)would babysit and my wife just chose to ignore it. So after our gig they wanted me to hang. I called my wife to check in and she insisted I come home immediately. When I get home she already going to bed. She wanted to go to sleep because she was tired. So here I sit on my couch drinking beers typing this wondering with the **** happened to my wife and why the hell I'm sitting at home when I could have been having a good time with my brother. It's getting frustrating as hell!!

I would guess it is still a little soon, hopefully after the first year she might start getting comfortable with leaving him with someone she really trusts, like her parents. Some women just get a little neurotic the first time around. It could be worse, I have seen some crappy parents who try their hardest to stick their kid with whoever they can so they can go out and party like teenagers.

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OK, let me preface this by saying my wife has always been the coolest, most laid back girl I've ever known. She's always been known as the party animal amongst the girls, always wanting to stay out late and have a good time. She was never one to nag me or put "shackles" on me if you will. If I wanted to go out I could. I always knew if she had any objections then I probably was pushing my luck.

Fast forward to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old son. He's the coolest, most easy going baby in the world. He sleeps through the night and he smiles and giggles all day long. We always said before he was born that we would allow each other time to go out with friends as well as go out together when we could get someone to babysit. We promised each other that we would still have a life outside of being a parent. There in lies my dilemma. Since my son was born my wife has literally not left my house at all, unless it was with my son and mostly to visit family or go food shopping. I have BEGGED her to go out ith her friends while I stayed home to watch Andrew. I have BEGGED her to do SOMETHING on her own so that she would still have a life and not become such a homebody. She absolutely refuses to do so, and now she is getting overbearing and even beligerent about me going out at all.

Last friday I went out with my best friend for a drink at work. I get out of work at 5pm. I told her it would be a quick beer and hen I'd be home. I pulled into my driveway at 6:15pm after 2 beers and promptly got the 3rd degree about how I stayed out late!! I chalked it up to her just having a bad day or something. Yesterday my company had a dinner function. It started at 5pm, I told her I wouldn't be home late. I walked in at 8:30pm and again got reemed for "staying out late"!!?? Tonight I had a gig. We played at 9:30 pm for an hour and a half. My brother is in the band and my sister in law came out as well. She apparantly even sent an email to my wife saying that her sister (someone we know and trust)would babysit and my wife just chose to ignore it. So after our gig they wanted me to hang. I called my wife to check in and she insisted I come home immediately. When I get home she already going to bed. She wanted to go to sleep because she was tired. So here I sit on my couch drinking beers typing this wondering with the **** happened to my wife and why the hell I'm sitting at home when I could have been having a good time with my brother. It's getting frustrating as hell!!

you have so much to learn about women.

let me tell you something. there are 2 type of women

1. women

2. mothers

you do not mess with the mothers ever!!!

ask your own mother for advice.

no need to thank me

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you have so much to learn about women.

let me tell you something. there are 2 type of women

1. women

2. mothers

you do not mess with the mothers ever!!!

ask your own mother for advice.

no need to thank me

My mother used to always say that "a mother is always a mother." I never really understood what she meant until my siblings and friends started having kids... no matter what is going on the child is usually the first thing on the mother's mind.

The man speaks the truth. My sister was never much of a party animal but she wasn't a homebody either. She was always out with her friends but never into the club or bar scene.

She certainly was never somebody who was stricken by paranoia. Fast forward to baby number 1 and she was so paranoid she would be fearful if her closest family and friends would HOLD the baby while she was in the same room. Forget ever leaving the baby with somebody else.

So I would say that your wife is behaving in a normal fashion... albeit an unexpected one. Hang in there dude and she will be eventually find a happy medium somewhere between the way she was and the mother she has becom.

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Booozzz ...I have met you an her an she is an AWESOME person...BUT a baby will make or break your marriage...

Give her some time...AT LEAST she is not a mom who just takes off an leaves YOU at home with the baby....j/k

Trust me after my son was born I didnt go out for almost a YEAR,,,,didnt even have SEX....let the hormones settle,,,,GIVE her lots of love an attention....clean ,cook ,do laundry take garbage out without being asked...oh wait,,,NEVER mind none of that will work.....jsut be a loving husband an father to Andrew.....

GO have a beer!

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This problem is normal for kids under 4 1/2.

Now that you have small kids, you'll get out maybe once a week. Make it count. Have a second kid and we're talking once a month, unless your "fun time" is also earning money.

Hobbies that don't make money, like fishing, are done. These days you'll have to learn to make birdhouses in the basement and sell them at craft shows in a little white tent. Keep a flask under the table and sneak a drink when you sell each birdhouse.

Then...maybe after child2 or child3....you'll open the phone book and look up the word 'Urologist'. 2 snips and a 5th birthday and you have freedom my friend.

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This problem is normal for kids under 4 1/2.

Now that you have small kids, you'll get out maybe once a week. Make it count. Have a second kid and we're talking once a month, unless your "fun time" is also earning money.

Hobbies that don't make money, like fishing, are done. These days you'll have to learn to make birdhouses in the basement and sell them at craft shows in a little white tent. Keep a flask under the table and sneak a drink when you sell each birdhouse.

Then...maybe after child2 or child3....you'll open the phone book and look up the word 'Urologist'. 2 snips and a 5th birthday and you have freedom my friend.

Jerry makes a lot of sense...everything he's mentioned I've been through...:beer:

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Booozzz ...I have met you an her an she is an AWESOME person...BUT a baby will make or break your marriage...

Give her some time...AT LEAST she is not a mom who just takes off an leaves YOU at home with the baby....j/k

GO have a beer!

I do know a few guys that have this exact kid of wife. :biggrin:

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You fell into the trap of thinking that your wife was different than every other naggy, pain in the ass woman out there. It's OK, it has happened to us all, or else there would be a helluva lot more single men out there.

We have a 2 1/2 year old and my wife and go out quite a bit - both together and separately - and have since he was relatively young. We are very lucky in that my parents are more than willing to take their grandson overnight. In fact, if a couple of weeks pass and he hasn't spent a Friday or Saturday night there, they will ask if he can come by and stay with them, which is absolutely great.

Now, even though my wife goes out with her friends (with me staying home) way more than I do with mine, I will still get crap from time to time, because she hates being home alone at night. And even though I've had Jets season tickets since well before we met, I still get the occasional attitude about going to games, usually the 4PM starts... "it kills the whole day"... "why do you have to leave so early?"... it doesn't matter that I've compromised and started to sell a few games before the season even starts each year.

I play cards one night during the week and it's a rotating game that is at my house once a month. On the other weeks, she'll have a couple of her (single) friends come over and they'll drink wine and bull****, which gets me off the hook for being out past midnight since she doesn't like being home alone. Does your wife have any friends (that don't have families of their own) that she could have come by on a night when you're going out?

Bottom line, they're never truly happy unless they're complaining about something and are generally devoid of logic. Act accordingly and pick your spots until she gets through this phase.

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Boozer -- Keep the pimp hand strong. :)

It will work itself out. I think you have some good advice in this thread. The thing to realize is that the cell phone is not your best friend. Also remember sometimes asking forgiveness is better than asking permission.

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Sounds like you're in a tough spot Boozer. Doesn't sound like she's being too reasonable especially when you got home at 6:15. That's hardly late. The other time was a work function, what are you suppose to do, blow it off and lose your job ? I guess you'll have to bend over backwards and try to explain to her how silly it is (just DON'T use the word silly or you'll be really up ****s creek ) . She doesn't WANT to leave the house at all and she feels you should not want to either. That's what it boils down to. Good luck with everything.

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Hang in there buddy. I would stick around her as much as possible, and like others have said, it might take a year or so for her to really to get back into the game of going out and, oh, I dont know, having fun? :)

Either way, she shouldn't get pissed off about you going out and having a couple of beers after work with a co-worker or friend. Its not like you're coming home at 2am every day. You stayed out past 8 once. A little anal she's starting to get, eh?

Hang in there dude. Guess it comes with being a mother.

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Bottom line, they're never truly happy unless they're complaining about something and are generally devoid of logic. Act accordingly and pick your spots until she gets through this phase.

It's a phase? I thought they were just like that.

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My wife was the same way Booze. She didn't, perhaps, party with the same vigor that I tended to before my daughter was born - but she had worn the lampshade on enough occasions to keep most protests short and low decible.

That all changed with motherhood and luckily I changed into enough of a homebody to stay ahead game. It is what it is - don't attempt reason or logic as they don't apply vs. instinct. Sounds like you got a great lady so just pick and choose wisely and try to be as unselfish as possible and it will seek it's own equalibrium over time.

But don't ever quit jammin bro!

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Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

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1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

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2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.4&fid=Inbox&inline=1

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

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4. A dog's parents never visit.

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5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.7&fid=Inbox&inline=1

6. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.8&fid=Inbox&inline=1

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.9&fid=Inbox&inline=1

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.10&fid=Inbox&inline=1

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

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download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=1.2.12&fid=Inbox&inline=1

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

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12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

download?mid=1%5f114535%5fADvsjkQAAD%2f2SS6fpgEjElUOvCQ&pid=40&fid=Inbox&inline=1

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

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OK, let me preface this by saying my wife has always been the coolest, most laid back girl I've ever known. She's always been known as the party animal amongst the girls, always wanting to stay out late and have a good time. She was never one to nag me or put "shackles" on me if you will. If I wanted to go out I could. I always knew if she had any objections then I probably was pushing my luck.

Fast forward to now. We have a beautiful 5 month old son. He's the coolest, most easy going baby in the world. He sleeps through the night and he smiles and giggles all day long. We always said before he was born that we would allow each other time to go out with friends as well as go out together when we could get someone to babysit. We promised each other that we would still have a life outside of being a parent. There in lies my dilemma. Since my son was born my wife has literally not left my house at all, unless it was with my son and mostly to visit family or go food shopping. I have BEGGED her to go out ith her friends while I stayed home to watch Andrew. I have BEGGED her to do SOMETHING on her own so that she would still have a life and not become such a homebody. She absolutely refuses to do so, and now she is getting overbearing and even beligerent about me going out at all.

Last friday I went out with my best friend for a drink at work. I get out of work at 5pm. I told her it would be a quick beer and hen I'd be home. I pulled into my driveway at 6:15pm after 2 beers and promptly got the 3rd degree about how I stayed out late!! I chalked it up to her just having a bad day or something. Yesterday my company had a dinner function. It started at 5pm, I told her I wouldn't be home late. I walked in at 8:30pm and again got reemed for "staying out late"!!?? Tonight I had a gig. We played at 9:30 pm for an hour and a half. My brother is in the band and my sister in law came out as well. She apparantly even sent an email to my wife saying that her sister (someone we know and trust)would babysit and my wife just chose to ignore it. So after our gig they wanted me to hang. I called my wife to check in and she insisted I come home immediately. When I get home she already going to bed. She wanted to go to sleep because she was tired. So here I sit on my couch drinking beers typing this wondering with the **** happened to my wife and why the hell I'm sitting at home when I could have been having a good time with my brother. It's getting frustrating as hell!!

I will not BS here as this is serious..

As you know, I am 56 and have seen alot..

I will tell you , you have one of the two most serious issues (other than obviosu like cheating/abuse etc) I see ruin marriages,,You need to get her and you into couples counseling ASAP.

A wife who thinks NO ONE in world can be trusted with her new child and therfore destroy any 'adult' life she and husband could have is bad stuff..Its a definite psycological issue as obviosuly children have survived babysitters for eternity..The fact she wont even accept a trusted relative to babysit firther tells me you are headed to trouble if you dont get counseling asap..tell her you will go together as you are a team and into this together...

Start out small, go to grocery strore for 30 minutes while sis in law watches..tehn mayeb a quick dinner,,build up to longer dates out with wife..

I am seriosu when I say this issue has ruined many a peoples marriage,,in manyt cases they stay together for kids sake but the relationship that invariably gets ruined takes its toll,,Someday that child will leave the nest and it will be just the two of you again,, you cant all of asudden turn on the relationship chip if you havent worked on it for years,,Its SO important for parents to maintain thier identity as themselves as well as thier new family identity.. Occasional date nite, weekend getaway once in awhile while Grandma watches,,its vital,,will u date and go out as much as before, never,,but the spark must be kindled with alone time once in awhile..

oh, 2nd thing that can destroy a marriage other than obviosu,,is a spouse who cant break the mommy cord,,every time a fight calls mommy, or calls mommy several times a day regardless,,,new family, new duties,,no need to call mom all day every day,,,

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I will not BS here as this is serious..

As you know, I am 56 and have seen alot..

I will tell you , you have one of the two most serious issues (other than obviosu like cheating/abuse etc) I see ruin marriages,,You need to get her and you into couples counseling ASAP.

A wife who thinks NO ONE in world can be trusted with her new child and therfore destroy any 'adult' life she and husband could have is bad stuff..Its a definite psycological issue as obviosuly children have survived babysitters for eternity..The fact she wont even accept a trusted relative to babysit firther tells me you are headed to trouble if you dont get counseling asap..tell her you will go together as you are a team and into this together...

Start out small, go to grocery strore for 30 minutes while sis in law watches..tehn mayeb a quick dinner,,build up to longer dates out with wife..

I am seriosu when I say this issue has ruined many a peoples marriage,,in manyt cases they stay together for kids sake but the relationship that invariably gets ruined takes its toll,,Someday that child will leave the nest and it will be just the two of you again,, you cant all of asudden turn on the relationship chip if you havent worked on it for years,,Its SO important for parents to maintain thier identity as themselves as well as thier new family identity.. Occasional date nite, weekend getaway once in awhile while Grandma watches,,its vital,,will u date and go out as much as before, never,,but the spark must be kindled with alone time once in awhile..

oh, 2nd thing that can destroy a marriage other than obviosu,,is a spouse who cant break the mommy cord,,every time a fight calls mommy, or calls mommy several times a day regardless,,,new family, new duties,,no need to call mom all day every day,,,

boozer this is great advice. it is VERY important to keep your identity as a couple thru child rearing.

forget the grown ups here for a minute. guilt is instilled in the child for mom giving up her life for them & it is not healthy as well.

some kinda fair balance needs to be implemented.

in the meantime I suggest you revert to the point system. build up lotsa points by being a faithful do gooder cause you'll need them when yer ready to explode & need a blowout night with the boys etc. :mrgreen:

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and now, some unsolicitated female advice. :)

First, what is happening is pretty normal for a first time mom, and not long lasting.

Your situation is compounded by the fact that is was a difficult pregnancy,

as I recall.

Keep in mind, that the difficulty of the pregnancy was a burden on her

mind. You, and other family members may have prayed, wished and hoped

for a positive outcome, but the burden of the outcome rested on her.

She was the person who grew and delivered Andrew in his healthy state.

She was responsible for that.

My advise would be for you to acknowledge that as often you can.

Make sure you tell her what a great job she did. Make sure you tell

her how proud you are of her. Make sure you tell her these things.

You wanting a beer with your friends cannot measure up to what

she went through.

just sayin'

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