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****The 4th Annual JetNation Awards****


TaborJet

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INT. NIGHT, JETNATION AWARDS CEREMONY, NEWARK ARMORY, NEWARK, NEW JERSEY.

OVER BLACK, MUSIC SFX OF K.C. AND THE SUNSHINE BAND'S LIVE VERSION OF "THAT'S THE WAY (I LIKE IT)". (As no one else has booked them in what is now three decades, K.C. and the boys gladly accepted this paying "gig", even though it was, basically, for a reconditioned iPod each, and all the donuts and chocolate milk they could carry after the ceremony. Max' treat.)

FADE IN TO A LAVISHLY DECORATED STAGE WHICH HAS BEEN FESTOONED WITH AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF PARAPHERNALIA OF THE NEW YORK JETS FOOTBALL CLUB. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE IS A PODIUM AND MICROPHONE. SEVERAL HUNDRED AUDIENCE MEMBERS--DRESSED IN JETS JERSEYS OR RENTED, HORRIBLY OUT-OF FASION, TUXEDOS ARE SITTING ATTENTIVELY. A MAN, MAX--CARTOONISH, YET SOMEHOW THE SPIRITUAL LEADER OF THOSE ASSEMBLED--DANCES EMBARRASSINGLY OUT OF STEP TOWARDS THE PODIUM AND MOUTHING THE "UH-HUH, UH-HUH" PORTION OF THE SONG. AS HE APPROACHES THE PODIUM, HE WAVES HIS RIGHT ARM AT THE BAND. END MUSIC SFX.

MAX

(Opening An Envelope)

Welcome back, folks. This one's got me nervous. You always hope to meet your heroes, but when he's about to actually stand in front of you. (CHOKING BACK TEARS OF EMOTION) Damn it. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of the guy. (ANOTHER PAUSE) Okay, let me give it another whirl. And the winner of this year's Best New Poster Award goes to...(PAUSE, THEN LOOKING UP BEAMING AS A FATHER SEEING HIS NEWLY BORN SON FOR THE FIRST TIME) You know who it is folks. Number one in our hearts...BORGOGUY!!

SFX OF THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE AS THEY JUMP TO THEIR FEET. CUT TO THE AUDIENCE WHERE BORGOGUY--STILL HANDSOME AT 52 AND RESEMBLING A SLIGHTLY AGING, LONG HAIRED PETER FRAMPTON FROM THE 70S--HUGS MRSBORGOGUY AND THIS YEAR'S WINNER OF THE MISS THAILAND COMPETITION, WHO IS THEIR DATE. AFTER A FEW BEATS, BORGOGUY HEADS TOWARS THE STAGE, SHAKING HANDS WITH OR HUGGING FELLOW JETNATION POSTERS.

AS HE GETS TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS, BORGOGUY TURNS AND DOES A DROP DEAD PERFECT PETE TOWNSHEND GUITAR WINDMILL, WHICH SENDS THE THRONG INTO A CONTROLLED FRENZY. HE THEN WALKS TOWARDS MAX. THE TWO VISIONARIES EMBRACE, AND WE SEE TEARS OF JOY RUNNING DOWN MAX' CHEEKS. HE HANDS BORGOGUY A STATUETTE--THE JETTY--AND THE AWARDS ENVELOPE. MAX STEPS BACK TO LET BORGOGUY BASK IN HIS WELL DESERVED GLORY. BORGOGUY MOTIONS TO THE CROWD TO QUIET DOWN, WHICH THEY DO IMMEDIATELY AS THEY RECOGNIZE HIS POWER AND STANDING AMONGST POETS, WRITERS AND PHILOSOPHERS BOTH PAST AND PRESENT. END AUDIENCE SFX.

BORGOGUY

(Saintly, but with

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MAX

(Opening An Envelope)

Welcome back, folks. This one's got me nervous. You always hope to meet your heroes, but when he's about to actually stand in front of you. (CHOKING BACK TEARS OF EMOTION) Damn it. I promised myself i wouldn't cry in front of the guy. (ANOTHER PAUSE) Okay, let me give it another whirl. And the winner of this year's Best New Poster Award goes to...(PAUSE, THEN LOOKING UP BEAMING AS A FATHER SEEING HIS NEWLY BORN SON FOR THE FIRST TIME) You know who it is folks. Number one in our hearts...BORGOGUY!!

I am not sure whether I should laugh, cry or just clench my butt cheeks and hope this passes. :-P

Borgo congratulations man. One board didn't want you and another embraced you with open arms. Kind of funny how that works.

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I am not sure whether I should laugh, cry or just clench my butt cheeks and hope this passes. :-P

Borgo congratulations man. One board didn't want you and another embraced you with open arms. Kind of funny how that works.

Now I'm the one getting emotional. In all seriousness, it is great to be a part of something again, especially something as awesome as JetNation. To share an award with Max, our visionary (in terms of Jet boards, no joke implied by me at all, just true reverence) leader is an honor, although I think he deserves it more than me. All that ever made me happy in life was making people laugh. If I gave anyone on the board a chance to laugh or chuckle, then I'm psyched to have had the opportunity. I will be a little less depressed today. Thanks everyone.

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INT. NIGHT, JETNATION AWARDS CEREMONY, NEWARK ARMORY, NEWARK, NEW JERSEY.

OVER BLACK, MUSIC SFX OF K.C. AND THE SUNSHINE BAND'S LIVE VERSION OF "THAT'S THE WAY (I LIKE IT)". (As no one else has booked them in what is now three decades, K.C. and the boys gladly accepted this paying "gig", even though it was, basically, for a reconditioned iPod each, and all the donuts and chocolate milk they could carry after the ceremony. Max' treat.)

FADE IN TO A LAVISHLY DECORATED STAGE WHICH HAS BEEN FESTOONED WITH AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF PARAPHERNALIA OF THE NEW YORK JETS FOOTBALL CLUB. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE IS A PODIUM AND MICROPHONE. SEVERAL HUNDRED AUDIENCE MEMBERS--DRESSED IN JETS JERSEYS OR RENTED, HORRIBLY OUT-OF FASION, TUXEDOS ARE SITTING ATTENTIVELY. A MAN, MAX--CARTOONISH, YET SOMEHOW THE SPIRITUAL LEADER OF THOSE ASSEMBLED--DANCES EMBARRASSINGLY OUT OF STEP TOWARDS THE PODIUM AND MOUTHING THE "UH-HUH, UH-HUH" PORTION OF THE SONG. AS HE APPROACHES THE PODIUM, HE WAVES HIS RIGHT ARM AT THE BAND. END MUSIC SFX.

MAX

(Opening An Envelope)

Welcome back, folks. This one's got me nervous. You always hope to meet your heroes, but when he's about to actually stand in front of you. (CHOKING BACK TEARS OF EMOTION) Damn it. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of the guy. (ANOTHER PAUSE) Okay, let me give it another whirl. And the winner of this year's Best New Poster Award goes to...(PAUSE, THEN LOOKING UP BEAMING AS A FATHER SEEING HIS NEWLY BORN SON FOR THE FIRST TIME) You know who it is folks. Number one in our hearts...BORGOGUY!!

SFX OF THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE AS THEY JUMP TO THEIR FEET. CUT TO THE AUDIENCE WHERE BORGOGUY--STILL HANDSOME AT 52 AND RESEMBLING A SLIGHTLY AGING, LONG HAIRED PETER FRAMPTON FROM THE 70S--HUGS MRSBORGOGUY AND THIS YEAR'S WINNER OF THE MISS THAILAND COMPETITION, WHO IS THEIR DATE. AFTER A FEW BEATS, BORGOGUY HEADS TOWARS THE STAGE, SHAKING HANDS WITH OR HUGGING FELLOW JETNATION POSTERS.

AS HE GETS TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS, BORGOGUY TURNS AND DOES A DROP DEAD PERFECT PETE TOWNSHEND GUITAR WINDMILL, WHICH SENDS THE THRONG INTO A CONTROLLED FRENZY. HE THEN WALKS TOWARDS MAX. THE TWO VISIONARIES EMBRACE, AND WE SEE TEARS OF JOY RUNNING DOWN MAX' CHEEKS. HE HANDS BORGOGUY A STATUETTE--THE JETTY--AND THE AWARDS ENVELOPE. MAX STEPS BACK TO LET BORGOGUY BASK IN HIS WELL DESERVED GLORY. BORGOGUY MOTIONS TO THE CROWD TO QUIET DOWN, WHICH THEY DO IMMEDIATELY AS THEY RECOGNIZE HIS POWER AND STANDING AMONGST POETS, WRITERS AND PHILOSOPHERS BOTH PAST AND PRESENT. END AUDIENCE SFX.

BORGOGUY

(Saintly, but with

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I more than a little disappointed and pissed off that I was not thanked in that incredibly self-serving and self-congratulatory "acceptance" speech.

Remember, it was my inability to keep you from getting banned at JI that made this possible. :Nuts:

Who banned Borgo over there? I want to send a thank you card. We sent a fruit basket in October 2008 but I don't think I sent proper thanks for Borgo. :winking0001:

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I would like to accept this award on behalf of myself and BergenJet and EY and CTM and RutgersJetsfan and JetsBabe, 32Green, Fishooked, and of course Mr. Underrated himself, JiF and all the rest of our ilk who piss off 124 on an hourly basis. It is truly a thrill to drive that young man insane.

I would like to thank Max for giving us a home. I would like to thank BP and the rest of the JN mod crew for making us feel at home, although sometimes their hospitality can be more than a little disturbing and feel a bit too friendly, if you catch my drift.

But most of all, I would like to thank the two men who made this possible, Sean Deegan, the Pancake Man, also known as "THE SOOTHSAYER," and Glenn Bernardi, The Looney Tune, also known affectionately as "Hammer." Without you two, this would not have been possible! You're the best fellas! Keep on making it happen over there!

Next year we should do a real awards show. We could stream it live over the web, Ithink it would be a pretty big hit!

:-P

The JetNation.com Awards. Every winner would get a pancake statue.

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Guys be careful ecurb is hosting these photos, he can change them and then you are at his mercy. :Typotux:

I have yet to do that... lol... always tempted though... I almost did with the Cowher one... :lol:

I do it this way because if I use imageshack they are gone a year later... this way we have them forever...

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I more than a little disappointed and pissed off that I was not thanked in that incredibly self-serving and self-congratulatory "acceptance" speech.

Remember, it was my inability to keep you from getting banned at JI that made this possible. :Nuts:

Please forgive my--unforgivable--omission, Kleck. I am sure, in your heart, that you know your spiritual guidance, unflagging support and mentoring ferocity have always been a beacon of hope in my troubled, chaotic life. I doubt many on the board know this, but Kleck was my high school social studies teacher. For some reason known only to him, Kleck was the first person, other than my parents and local clergy, to grasp my enormous future potential. I hope it does not embarrass you, Kleck, but I still treasure the Roget's Thesaurus and the Shakespeare compendium which you so graciously gifted me at graduation. My parents are also mildly miffed that you have not been over to the house for Sunday dinner in what seems like an eternity. (Yes, she still makes those amazing agnolini.) Anyway, thanks Kleck for all your kind efforts. I treasure you, sage.

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Guys be careful ecurb is hosting these photos, he can change them and then you are at his mercy. :Typotux:

Hence why I shall host mine from my Photobucket. - I just don't trust him not to replace it with :justjoined::mrgreen:

It will be weird not having a gif sig.

But to all who voted for me, thank you very, very much.

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Hence why I shall host mine from my Photobucket. - I just don't trust him not to replace it with :justjoined::mrgreen:

It will be weird not having a gif sig.

But to all who voted for me, thank you very, very much.

Kind of ironic that the guy that won the award for best signature is using a mass produced signature that somebody else made. But, whatever.

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Kind of ironic that the guy that won the award for best signature is using a mass produced signature that somebody else made. But, whatever.

I prefer it to your idea of having the award as our user status. And with these awards sort of sneaking out the way they did, I didn't really time to prepare something. I'm sorry, oh supreme webmaster. :P

As it is, with what's been happening over here, a new gif will have to wait.

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I prefer it to your idea of having the award as our user status. And with these awards sort of sneaking out the way they did, I didn't really time to prepare something. I'm sorry, oh supreme webmaster. :P

As it is, with what's been happening over here, a new gif will have to wait.

What has been happening over there?

And the title idea was Tabor's idea. I wonder why he hasn't posted much lately, haha. Dooshie says what?

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