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U.S. Gov't Takes Over JetNation; Forces Change


Maxman

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Earlier this month we reported that the recession had hit JetNation. Needless to say, JetNation has struggled in this economic climate. A failure to adapt to new world internet business models has taken a huge toll on JetNation's bottom line. The shareholders have voiced their displeasure as JetNation refuses to charge for:

  • The search feature
  • NY Jets articles
  • Membership fees

After several rounds of government assistance and missed deadlines for a plan to revive the internet giant, the White House on Monday finally lost faith in the site's ability to fix its own longstanding problems.

Despite months of negotiations with various moderators and site administrators, the Obama administration refused to offer JN another round of bailout funds, saying the web site's restructuring proposals didn't go far enough to make for a viable plan. The president, careful not to blame crappy posters for JetNation's woes, accused the JetNation moderation team of lax leadership. It was little consolation for posters, though. The president added that more of them likely would lose their accounts and their vcash would be distributed equally amongst the needy.

JetNation CEO Max said the blame falls squarely on the round backs of the moderation team. "They failed to execute an excellent business plan. They worry too much about merging AFL thread in the other sports forum. Everyone knows the key moderation task right now is the mock draft. Yet it ended after two rounds and poor NY Mick was left trying to clean up for their failures. They must all be relieved of their duties immediatley".

“(It would be a) disaster to leave this firm into its own leadership with VIP money going in,” said Sean Deegan, an independent industry exert. “The board has been a disaster for four years, they concentrate on making homo jokes when they should focus on deleting anti-Jets posts."

The following changes were mandated by the U.S. government:

  • The entire moderation team has been terminated (BP, Thor, GOB, Sperm Edwards, Faba, Tabor)
  • The site will now be unmoderated and will be efficiently run through the use of additional word censors
  • Post Of The Week was not spared from change as long time host Greenbeans was sent packing and was replaced with newbie War Ensemble.

The president himself did say he knows that Max can lead this site to greatness. Obama stated, "Max is a warrior, much like the great Curtis Martin. Give Max enough carries and eventually he will find the end zone".

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This ****ing site ****ing ****s.

You guys cant do anything right. Its like someone took a big **** on the interwebz took their finger and spelled JetNation in the steaming pile of dung and attached a hyperlink.

The simple fact that everyone on this site prefers ****, is a very telling story. The gayness of this site has reached its culmination. The incompetence has run its course. And now these dumb ****s are requesting the Federal Govt help them pull their heads our of their own asses.

Pathetic.

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How can a group of, supposed, rational adults react to a matter as fraught with the insidious danger of government intervention into a private enterprise display such a cavalier attitude? Where is the indignation? The festering anger? Do we not call on the spirit of the noble Arthur to guide us in this dark hour? Grab your saddles and armaments, gentlemen, we ride at dawn!

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How can a group of, supposed, rational adults react to a matter as fraught with the insidious danger of government intervention into a private enterprise display such a cavalier attitude? Where is the indignation? The festering anger? Do we not call on the spirit of the noble Arthur to guide us in this dark hour? Grab your saddles and armaments, gentlemen, we ride at dawn!

:-k

:sheepf:

Sorry. My natural response to unecessary displays of superior intellect.

I'm guessing you don't do Dikk Jokes?

On the other hand you do get props for the King Arthur reference.

And so:

"Old woman!"

"Man."

"Old man then..."

"I'm thirty seven."

"What?"

"I'm thirty seven, I'm not old."

"Well, I can't just call you, Man."

"You could call me Dennis."

"Well I Didn't know you were called Dennis."

"And you didn't bother to find out, then, did you?"

"Well I did say sorry about the Old Woman, but from behind you looked like a..."

"I resent the fact that you automatically treat me like an inferior."

"well, I am your king."

"A king, then? Very nice."

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Earlier this month we reported that the recession had hit JetNation. Needless to say, JetNation has struggled in this economic climate. A failure to adapt to new world internet business models has taken a huge toll on JetNation's bottom line. The shareholders have voiced their displeasure as JetNation refuses to charge for:

  • The search feature
  • NY Jets articles
  • Membership fees

After several rounds of government assistance and missed deadlines for a plan to revive the internet giant, the White House on Monday finally lost faith in the site's ability to fix its own longstanding problems.

Despite months of negotiations with various moderators and site administrators, the Obama administration refused to offer JN another round of bailout funds, saying the web site's restructuring proposals didn't go far enough to make for a viable plan. The president, careful not to blame crappy posters for JetNation's woes, accused the JetNation moderation team of lax leadership. It was little consolation for posters, though. The president added that more of them likely would lose their accounts and their vcash would be distributed equally amongst the needy.

JetNation CEO Max said the blame falls squarely on the round backs of the moderation team. "They failed to execute an excellent business plan. They worry too much about merging AFL thread in the other sports forum. Everyone knows the key moderation task right now is the mock draft. Yet it ended after two rounds and poor NY Mick was left trying to clean up for their failures. They must all be relieved of their duties immediatley".

“(It would be a) disaster to leave this firm into its own leadership with VIP money going in,” said Sean Deegan, an independent industry exert. “The board has been a disaster for four years, they concentrate on making homo jokes when they should focus on deleting anti-Jets posts."

The following changes were mandated by the U.S. government:

  • The entire moderation team has been terminated (BP, Thor, GOB, Sperm Edwards, Faba, Tabor)
  • The site will now be unmoderated and will be efficiently run through the use of additional word censors
  • Post Of The Week was not spared from change as long time host Greenbeans was sent packing and was replaced with newbie War Ensemble.

The president himself did say he knows that Max can lead this site to greatness. Obama stated, "Max is a warrior, much like the great Curtis Martin. Give Max enough carries and eventually he will find the end zone".

Listen here you non-curtis martin resembling fumbler... There is no posting of political crap on this site you understand??? Keep it to the Jets or go post somewhere else!!!

lol

Good one Max! Way to dust off the old imagination on this one. :cheers:

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