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Anyone else hate their father?


PS17

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I would give up just about everything I have, besides my son, to have 5 more minutes with my dad. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about how things go once you lose your dad forever. The memories of when you did childish and immature things that are hurtful to your father when you were younger (such as posting on a message board about how much you hate him) overpower the good ones by a country mile. You spend alot of time wishing you could take those things back. You think about those things every single day thereafter. I know this because I have done just that. It's been almost 2 years now and I miss my father more than anything in the world. He was the greatest man I have ever known and, yes, at times when I was young and imature I thought I hated him. Just think about that for a bit.

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I miss my father so much as now I realized how much he sacrificed for the good of the family . There was so many things he did that I did not appreciate growing up at the time. I gave him greif at times which I am forever sorry for. Remember your parents are here for only so long -do whatever you can for them before they are gone.

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I hate my father for 2 reasons, Jets and the Mets.

My kids opted not to be sports fans. I imagine they'll live a happier life as a result. My dad' a Yankee and Giant fan. I could've had an easier life, I suppose.

My dad is probably my best friend, and I think I'm a best friend to my kids as well. I feel bad for anyone who doesn't have that. I can say that me and my dad had some real tough times during my -shall we say- turbulent years, but I have no idea where I'd be without him today.

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Thats the thing. He was my best friend for the first 12 years of my life, and he is a complete d-bag to me now.

Just relax.He is probably thinking also 'wwhat happened to my best buddy, he has changed'

Mark Twain said:

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Trust me son, If you had a great relationship through age 12, its just a matter of testoterone, generation gap, over protection, etc

It will all come back full circle over time.. Its called Life..

Dont do anything stupid and realize he most certainly Loves you as you do him.

Hang in there, it will get better.

Signed;

SouthernJet , or as my kids called me when they were teens, 'Freakazoid'..

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I think that every teenager boy goes through a rough patch with their father.

We had plenty of blowups during my teenage years, but that's just a part of growing up. We get along well now and he has always been there for me when I needed him.

About ten years ago he had a very bad heart attack. So bad, that the doctor told my mom and I that he was probably going to die that night. That was probably the scariest moment of my life. But, he fought though it and ten years later he is still here. An event as traumatic as that puts things in perspective.

I hope things get better between you and your dad.

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I miss my father so much as now I realized how much he sacrificed for the good of the family . There was so many things he did that I did not appreciate growing up at the time. I gave him greif at times which I am forever sorry for. Remember your parents are here for only so long -do whatever you can for them before they are gone.

Exactly what I'm trying to say.

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Thank you all for the advice and support. This isn't the first time we have had these blowups, and I am still mad at him today but by the end of this weekend we will probably have a talk & try to resolve things. I'm sure it will get better as well.

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My father left when I was just a baby, and the first time I actually met him I was 25. Over the next 10 years, I saw him two more times. The thing is, he at least would try. He would write me, email me, and even IM me. He tried to get my brother and I to go to the family reunions, but I just never gave him the chance.

Then last year, I saw him twice.

Once when he was in the hospital after he was diagnosed with brain/lung/kidney cancer and the second was at his funeral in July. To say I feel guilty for not giving him a second chance is putting it mildly.

Cherish each and every day you spend with your parents because you never know when they'll be gone.

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My father left when I was just a baby, and the first time I actually met him I was 25. Over the next 10 years, I saw him two more times. The thing is, he at least would try. He would write me, email me, and even IM me. He tried to get my brother and I to go to the family reunions, but I just never gave him the chance.

Then last year, I saw him twice.

Once when he was in the hospital after he was diagnosed with brain/lung/kidney cancer and the second was at his funeral in July. To say I feel guilty for not giving him a second chance is putting it mildly.

Cherish each and every day you spend with your parents because you never know when they'll be gone.

look at it this way......

His greatest gift to you is that you wont make the same mistake with your kids, aka, his grandkids..:D

And that would make him happy, to know he broke the cycle.

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My father was pretty much the coolest dad in the world. He died back when I was 13 (24 years ago this summer). In the last week I have been thinking about him a good deal more now that my little one is here. It is a shame that my boy won't know anything about his granddad other than what I tell him.

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I would give up just about everything I have, besides my son, to have 5 more minutes with my dad. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about how things go once you lose your dad forever. The memories of when you did childish and immature things that are hurtful to your father when you were younger (such as posting on a message board about how much you hate him) overpower the good ones by a country mile. You spend alot of time wishing you could take those things back. You think about those things every single day thereafter. I know this because I have done just that. It's been almost 2 years now and I miss my father more than anything in the world. He was the greatest man I have ever known and, yes, at times when I was young and imature I thought I hated him. Just think about that for a bit.

Excellent Post Booz and I concur a 100%

PS17 everything Booz said is true. The man that fathered me was never a part of my life, but the man that was my Dad took on the job. I was hardly an easy kid to raise and was mostly resentful, but sometime after I started raising my own kids. I realized what an ass I was as a kid. My last 14 years made me a lot more appreciative of the job he did the first 20 years of my life.

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Meh. My father and I don't really get along well but I can understand why that's so...he works almost all the time during the week and just vents and everything out of frustration. He's the project manager/supervisor or what not down at what he's doing now in the city so he has to take all the blame for his crew of a few hundred. Not good, especially when the papers pick it up.

It must be frustrating doing all that just to pay the bills and what not--I'd consider it some sort of Willy Loman syndrome. I appreciate what he does though. He can get REALLY mad if you get mad first, but is calm, and actually funny, when drunk. I used to dislike him a lot more when I was younger but I've mellowed down and can put myself in his place.

It helps to know there are always people worse off than you.

SO basically you thought your life sucked but now you are glad you are not PS17. Cool.

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Excellent Post Booz and I concur a 100%

PS17 everything Booz said is true. The man that fathered me was never a part of my life, but the man that was my Dad took on the job. I was hardly an easy kid to raise and was mostly resentful, but sometime after I started raising my own kids. I realized what an ass I was as a kid. My last 14 years made me a lot more appreciative of the job he did the first 20 years of my life.

It's weird because even though life goes on, there is constantly a moment throughout every day where I find myself suddenly daydreaming about him. Alot of times it's memories of some of the crappy things I said when I was younger, or times where I blew him off to go out with friends. Those just feel like a real kick in the gut and make me cringe. The good memories just make you want to break down.

I have a wonderful son and am going through an incredibly tumultuous time of my life where I would give anything to ask him for advice and see him with his grandson. He was 51 when he died, far too young. Nothing is guaranteed in this world, but I will say he would be very proud of me today because I am a much stronger and wiser man than I was before and took alot of steps at becoming better inside and out. I just wish he were he to be with my son.

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My Dad always says, "walk a mile in another man's shoes before you judge him".

I like that way of thinking because everyone has a different perspective. But having some compassion and realizing why people feel the way they do before you judge them is helpful. For me I couldn't walk a mile in my Father's shoes. I am always pretty quick to congratulate myself and I am proud of all I have accomplished in my life so far. But the weight he had to carry around in his life is far more than I could have ever handled.

I thank God each and every day for my father. The man that ended the cycle of hate and abuse that ran down his family tree. The man who has been supporting himself since he was about 16. A Vietnam Vet who fought for this country and loves it dearly. Because of him I know about hard work, pride and courage.

I thank God that he taught me these things. Keep your head down and do the right thing because it is the right thing and not because you expect someone to praise you for it. He is all about accountability. Take the blame when you mess up. Face the music like a man he would always tell me when I was growing up.

There are always going to be some hard lessons along the way. A father will no doubt have to deliver a message or ten along the way that the kid doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make the father wrong though. Those lessons are important.

My Dad did a great job of separating the stress from his job and life with anything family related. It is an important lesson and one that I try to remember daily. All the crap that a father feels from work, it will be there tomorrow. Be there for your kids tonight. Make them feel important and listen. My Dad always did a great job of making his kids feel important.

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Way to totally misunderstand the post. :rolleyes:

My life is good because he works hard, that's why I don't mind when he gets angry.

So you are saying it is okay that he slaps you around? Because society is rough on him. Gotcha.

:-P

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My Dad always says, "walk a mile in another man's shoes before you judge him".

I like that way of thinking because everyone has a different perspective. But having some compassion and realizing why people feel the way they do before you judge them is helpful. For me I couldn't walk a mile in my Father's shoes. I am always pretty quick to congratulate myself and I am proud of all I have accomplished in my life so far. But the weight he had to carry around in his life is far more than I could have ever handled.

I thank God each and every day for my father. The man that ended the cycle of hate and abuse that ran down his family tree. The man who has been supporting himself since he was about 16. A Vietnam Vet who fought for this country and loves it dearly. Because of him I know about hard work, pride and courage.

I thank God that he taught me these things. Keep your head down and do the right thing because it is the right thing and not because you expect someone to praise you for it. He is all about accountability. Take the blame when you mess up. Face the music like a man he would always tell me when I was growing up.

There are always going to be some hard lessons along the way. A father will no doubt have to deliver a message or ten along the way that the kid doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make the father wrong though. Those lessons are important.

My Dad did a great job of separating the stress from his job and life with anything family related. It is an important lesson and one that I try to remember daily. All the crap that a father feels from work, it will be there tomorrow. Be there for your kids tonight. Make them feel important and listen. My Dad always did a great job of making his kids feel important.

I really wish my Dad had half the wisdom of your father. Mine is a coward.

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