Maxman Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 My baby brother is getting married on Saturday. I am the best man. Any advice on my speech? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackout Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 keep it simple...no mushy lovey-dovey "Aw my younger brother is a man" crap make some nice jokes if possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 when they say its your turn to make a toast. whip out a piece of bread thats your brothers favorite(already toasted of course) and say "here little bro i knew i had to make a toast so i made you your favorite". it is sure to get some laughs and a few boo's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackout Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 wow please don't take this guy's advice^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Jet Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 when they say its your turn to make a toast. whip out a piece of bread thats your brothers favorite(already toasted of course) and say "here little bro i knew i had to make a toast so i made you your favorite". it is sure to get some laughs and a few boo's People will leave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 :rl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norway'sWaddlingMarmaloof Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Think Steve Buscemi in "The Wedding Singer". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 SBB6pmixR4Q&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 My baby brother is getting married on Saturday. I am the best man. Any advice on my speech? dont get drunk till after speech Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerryK Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Keep it simple, positive, and mature. Perhaps something like: "Little brother, I'm proud of you. Take good care of this lady because we're all lucky she's with us, considering the virus is incurable, and you can no longer have children". Just kidding! I stand by the top sentence though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 dont get drunk till after speech Worst. Advice. Evar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Think Steve Buscemi in "The Wedding Singer". I was thinking Wedding Crashers, but to each his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borgoguy Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I agree that humor is the best course, as it is both entertaining and uplifting. Especially if clergy and young children are in attendance, I would suggest the following as an "ice breaker" once you've been introduced and make your way to the microphone. It is sure to warm everyone's hearts and endear them to you forever: A handsome, stylishly dressed older woman exits her limo and notices a small boy, about 10 years old, walking an adorable dog. Seeing this charming sight, she asks: "My what a beautiful dog you have little boy". "Oh, thank you, ma'am", responds the boy. "May I pet your dog, young man?", she says. To which the boy responds: "Sure, ma'am. He's real friendly and won't bite, ma'am". After a moment, the woman says: "It is so refreshing to meet a nice, polite boy in these troubled times." Thank you, ma'am. You're very kind to say that, ma'am." After giving the boy a beaming smile, the elderly woman says: "What is your dogs name, little boy?" Why it's Porky, ma'am." To which the woman says: "Is that because he likes top eat a lot of food?" "No ma'am", says the boy. "Then is it because he likes to wallow in the mud?', respond the matriarch. "No ma'am", again responds the the little tike. "Then why do you call your dog Porky?", says the woman. "Because he like to f**k pigs", responds the boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Worst. Advice. Evar. best advice for normal people, worst advice for asswipes who want to ruin thier brothers wedding.. i see where u fit,,a youngun i assume or divorced Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
124 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 My condolences to your brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 My condolences to your brother. not really...here is his future wife with her Dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 ivanna hump that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I would like to help, but would have to ask a couple questions first. 1. Do you like your brother? 2. Do you like your future sister in law? 3. Can you do the human beat box? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green DNA Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I agree that humor is the best course, as it is both entertaining and uplifting. Especially if clergy and young children are in attendance, I would suggest the following as an "ice breaker" once you've been introduced and make your way to the microphone. It is sure to warm everyone's hearts and endear them to you forever: A handsome, stylishly dressed older woman exits her limo and notices a small boy, about 10 years old, walking an adorable dog. Seeing this charming sight, she asks: "My what a beautiful dog you have little boy". "Oh, thank you, ma'am", responds the boy. "May I pet your dog, young man?", she says. To which the boy responds: "Sure, ma'am. He's real friendly and won't bite, ma'am". After a moment, the woman says: "It is so refreshing to meet a nice, polite boy in these troubled times." Thank you, ma'am. You're very kind to say that, ma'am." After giving the boy a beaming smile, the elderly woman says: "What is your dogs name, little boy?" Why it's Porky, ma'am." To which the woman says: "Is that because he likes top eat a lot of food?" "No ma'am", says the boy. "Then is it because he likes to wallow in the mud?', respond the matriarch. "No ma'am", again responds the the little tike. "Then why do you call your dog Porky?", says the woman. "Because he like to f**k pigs", responds the boy. I would go with this classic: That reminds me of the time Zsa Gabor was on the Tonight Show, sitting on the couch with her cat in her lap. She asked Johnny Carson if he would like to pet her ***** and he said "Sure, move the cat". Guaranteed to bring the house down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 I would like to help, but would have to ask a couple questions first. 1. Do you like your brother? 2. Do you like your future sister in law? 3. Can you do the human beat box? :rl: Yes Yes No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DHJF Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 "People believe there are only 2 rings when people get married: A wedding ring for him, and a weeding ring for her. The fact of the matter is that there are actually three rings: A wedding ring for her, a wedding ring for him, and then the suffering of a lifetime spent together ." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 :rl: Yes Yes No Damn it!!!! My plan only works if you hate them both and can human beat box. Give me a day and I'll try and think of a option 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 If your online humor is any indication of the toast to come I feel sorry for your brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faba Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Tell him the benefits of being married and avoid any predictions of his future life like your classic Herm Edwards will lead the jets to the Super Bowl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afosomf Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 My baby brother is getting married on Saturday. I am the best man. Any advice on my speech? Tell the crowd you hope his new wife finds his penis is at least as big as yours and watch the fireworks begin:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larz Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I was at a wedding where the older bro was the best man, and he gave a serious heart felt toast, everyone had a tear in their eye, and it set the tone for the rest of the reception, and everyone had a great time and got loaded and danced their asses off. start with a simple joke, tell a funny story of something he did in high school, end with something like ; " (bride's name), if he is half the husband to you that he has been a brother to me, you are the luckiest woman in the world" don't listen to the "locker room" advice here, this is family, don't be afraid to tell him how you feel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeC36 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 all i have to say is that "Marriage is like a circle." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 best advice for normal people, worst advice for asswipes who want to ruin thier brothers wedding.. i see where u fit,,a youngun i assume or divorced While I do fit in the "asswipes who want to run their brother's wedding" category, I am neither a "youngun" nor divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jbro22 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Just don't take the early flight home from San Diego. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
124 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 all i have to say is that "Marriage is like a circle." Enough with the shapes, we get it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pragmatic Bus Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 when I first saw the thread title I thought it said "Ban Max Speech." I have to stop smoking Purple Haze. seriously! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebabyny Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I would like to help, but would have to ask a couple questions first. 1. Do you like your brother? 2. Do you like your future sister in law? 3. Can you do the human beat box? hahahahaha, does anyone else find the pure simplicity of some of crusher's posts to be among the funniest posts here?? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 I was at a wedding where the older bro was the best man, and he gave a serious heart felt toast, everyone had a tear in their eye, and it set the tone for the rest of the reception, and everyone had a great time and got loaded and danced their asses off. start with a simple joke, tell a funny story of something he did in high school, end with something like ; " (bride's name), if he is half the husband to you that he has been a brother to me, you are the luckiest woman in the world" don't listen to the "locker room" advice here, this is family, don't be afraid to tell him how you feel Good advice. Isn't that what he said in wedding crashers, speak from the heart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 hahahahaha, does anyone else find the pure simplicity of some of crusher's posts to be among the funniest posts here?? lol I am glad he is posting here his posts are definitely cracking me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I am glad he is posting here his posts are definitely cracking me up. Thanx Max, I enjoy myself here. Now back to the task at hand. So we now know you like both of them and can't human beat box. It's ok not everyone can. Smile alot, be humble and give them that adoring look I use when my wife puts my dinner in front of me at night. Probably very similar to your sexy face. Just don't grab your package when you do it in this setting. Starting your brothers wedding speach by pulling a Micahel Jackson genitall tug is a little creepy. I would stay away form the moonwalk as well. note: Im assuming since you can't beat box you probably can't moonwalk either. I hope this helps. I will be back to talk more after I my morning wash. The guy with the hose and the brush just got here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.