Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 For all of those who didn't know it already. So I'm at the skate park with my 8 year old son tonight. He has his bike there and is acting pretty timid. I decide to help break the ice I would take a couple rounds with his bike. Keep in mind that I'm 6'3" 212 lbs. and the seat on this bike is about as low as it will go and the handle bars are tilted slightly back. I go down the first ramp smoothly and just cruise over the second one. Then I get the bright idea that I'm going to show him some air. I go back up the ramp and come down. Hit the smaller ramp which was the point I should have caught air. No air...instead I just rolled over it and get over it but continue to peddle so I can get up another big ramp. Bad idea. I mashed the pedal and the bike completely flipped out from under me. Thank god by instint I stuck my chin to my chest because if I hadn't they probably would have been scraping my brains up off of the ground. The only thing that took a shot was my tailbone and damn does it hurt!! So anyway dads, make me feel better. Share some of your more brilliant moments as a father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 For all of those who didn't know it already. So I'm at the skate park with my 8 year old son tonight. He has his bike there and is acting pretty timid. I decide to help break the ice I would take a couple rounds with his bike. Keep in mind that I'm 6'3" 212 lbs. and the seat on this bike is about as low as it will go and the handle bars are tilted slightly back. I go down the first ramp smoothly and just cruise over the second one. Then I get the bright idea that I'm going to show him some air. I go back up the ramp and come down. Hit the smaller ramp which was the point I should have caught air. No air...instead I just rolled over it and get over it but continue to peddle so I can get up another big ramp. Bad idea. I mashed the pedal and the bike completely flipped out from under me. Thank god by instint I stuck my chin to my chest because if I hadn't they probably would have been scraping my brains up off of the ground. The only thing that took a shot was my tailbone and damn does it hurt!! So anyway dads, make me feel better. Share some of your more brilliant moments as a father. Your tailbone is used to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Your tailbone is used to it. It's telling me otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet Moses Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I don't think I'm an idiot, I just think my brain is shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 It's telling me otherwise. It is having fun and letting you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 That's an awesome story. I took my kids to a water park about 4 years ago, by myself because my wife was in Port Jeff visiting her dad. It was 4th of July so I took my kids to Old Navy and got them all matching red white and blue bathing suits. My sons Sal and Joey got the same exact one, except Joey is about twice Sals size, even though their only two years apart. That morning I told them to get their suits on and Joey came out with his bathing suit halfway up his leg and just below his buitt cheeks and was yelling about his new suit not fitting. Turns out it was actually his little brothers suit. We laughed and they got dressed and we headed to the water park. We where standing in line waiting for a slide and this dude was about three people behind me and it was a sight. He was actually about one and a half my size. Yeah that big, no ****. But he had one of those Euro bananna hammock bathing suit that Im pretty sure was three sizes too small. He looked like a gigantic Wooly Mammoth wearing a babies diaper. It was obvious that half the line was looking at him and praying for the strength not to vomit. All of a sudden my then 7 year old Sal, takes a look at this guy and before I could get my hand over his mouth lets out: DAD LOOK, THAT BIG DUDE PUT HIS LITTLE BROTHERS BATHING SUIT ON TOO, the enitre line started to laugh and roll out the place. The dude just glared at my son and of course Sal just smiled at him and gave him a look like he understood his problem. I on the other hand tried to apologize but Im not sure it helped. All day people walked up to my son and I talking and laughing about it. Craziness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 That's an awesome story. I took my kids to a water park about 4 years ago, by myself because my wife was in Port Jeff visiting her dad. It was 4th of July so I took my kids to Old Navy and got them all matching red white and blue bathing suits. My sons Sal and Joey got the same exact one, except Joey is about twice Sals size, even though their only two years apart. That morning I told them to get their suits on and Joey came out with his bathing suit halfway up his leg and just below his buitt cheeks and was yelling about his new suit not fitting. Turns out it was actually his little brothers suit. We laughed and they got dressed and we headed to the water park. We where standing in line waiting for a slide and this dude was about three people behind me and it was a sight. He was actually about one and a half my size. Yeah that big, no ****. But he had one of those Euro bananna hammock bathing suit that Im pretty sure was three sizes too small. He looked like a gigantic Wooly Mammoth wearing a babies diaper. It was obvious that half the line was looking at him and praying for the strength not to vomit. All of a sudden my then 7 year old Sal, takes a look at this guy and before I could get my hand over his mouth lets out: DAD LOOK, THAT BIG DUDE PUT HIS LITTLE BROTHERS BATHING SUIT ON TOO, the enitre line started to laugh and roll out the place. The dude just glared at my son and of course Sal just smiled at him and gave him a look like he understood his problem. I on the other hand tried to apologize but Im not sure it helped. All day people walked up to my son and I talking and laughing about it. Craziness. you should have crushed the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 For all of those who didn't know it already. So I'm at the skate park with my 8 year old son tonight. He has his bike there and is acting pretty timid. I decide to help break the ice I would take a couple rounds with his bike. Keep in mind that I'm 6'3" 212 lbs. and the seat on this bike is about as low as it will go and the handle bars are tilted slightly back. I go down the first ramp smoothly and just cruise over the second one. Then I get the bright idea that I'm going to show him some air. I go back up the ramp and come down. Hit the smaller ramp which was the point I should have caught air. No air...instead I just rolled over it and get over it but continue to peddle so I can get up another big ramp. Bad idea. I mashed the pedal and the bike completely flipped out from under me. Thank god by instint I stuck my chin to my chest because if I hadn't they probably would have been scraping my brains up off of the ground. The only thing that took a shot was my tailbone and damn does it hurt!! So anyway dads, make me feel better. Share some of your more brilliant moments as a father. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lift_(force) L = \tfrac12\rho v^2 A C_L where * L is lift force, * ρ is air density * v is true airspeed, * A is planform area, and * CL is the lift coefficient at the desired angle of attack, Mach number, and Reynolds number[43] If I calculated it right, your fat ass would have had to go at least 100MPH to escape the bonds of Earth's gravity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 you should have crushed the guy. Truth is my boy beat me to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Jet Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 That's an awesome story. All of a sudden my then 7 year old Sal, takes a look at this guy and before I could get my hand over his mouth lets out: DAD LOOK, THAT BIG DUDE PUT HIS LITTLE BROTHERS BATHING SUIT ON TOO, the enitre line started to laugh and roll out the place. The dude just glared at my son and of course Sal just smiled at him and gave him a look like he understood his problem. I on the other hand tried to apologize but Im not sure it helped. All day people walked up to my son and I talking and laughing about it. Craziness. Out of the mouths of babes. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 So there's a video...would anyone care to see it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 So there's a video...would anyone care to see it? With you crash and burning on your kids bike? Dude most of us would club a baby seal to see such a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 With you crash and burning on your kids bike? Dude most of us would club a baby seal to see such a thing. Enjoy. Fast forward to the last 20 seconds to avoid all of the commentary. yxHBkJTiq2M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny green balls Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 nice Once my ass stops hurting I will conquer that sum bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Enjoy. Fast forward to the last 20 seconds to avoid all of the commentary. yxHBkJTiq2M Very nice. POTW or it's rigged Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny green balls Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Once my ass stops hurting I will conquer that sum bitch. looks like you peddled so hard you ejected the bike from your ass. Very nice. POTW or it's rigged concur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Once my ass stops hurting I will conquer that sum bitch. No disrespect. You might want to let this one go. Just let it go. It's ok. I don't sit on lawn chairs anymore for a similar reason. Let it go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 looks like you peddled so hard you ejected the bike from your ass. concur. That's exactly what happened. I wanted to pedal hard enough to get up that last ramp. I think I damn near could have pulled a backflip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 No disrespect. You might want to let this one go. Just let it go. It's ok. I don't sit on lawn chairs anymore for a similar reason. Let it go. Classic line prior to that happening. My oldest son looks at me and says "dad, do you want to borrow my helmet?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Classic line prior to that happening. My oldest son looks at me and says "dad, do you want to borrow my helmet?" Then you should be a proud pappa. The boy is a little brighter than Dad. Every fathers wish. Congrats. LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 lol at your wife saying she's videotaping you just in case something good happens.. You must have a history of this sort of thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pragmatic Bus Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 For all of those who didn't know it already. So I'm at the skate park with my 8 year old son tonight. He has his bike there and is acting pretty timid. I decide to help break the ice I would take a couple rounds with his bike. Keep in mind that I'm 6'3" 212 lbs. and the seat on this bike is about as low as it will go and the handle bars are tilted slightly back. I go down the first ramp smoothly and just cruise over the second one. Then I get the bright idea that I'm going to show him some air. I go back up the ramp and come down. Hit the smaller ramp which was the point I should have caught air. No air...instead I just rolled over it and get over it but continue to peddle so I can get up another big ramp. Bad idea. I mashed the pedal and the bike completely flipped out from under me. Thank god by instint I stuck my chin to my chest because if I hadn't they probably would have been scraping my brains up off of the ground. The only thing that took a shot was my tailbone and damn does it hurt!! So anyway dads, make me feel better. Share some of your more brilliant moments as a father. You want me to share? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Bit Special Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Enjoy. Fast forward to the last 20 seconds to avoid all of the commentary. yxHBkJTiq2M <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOZDG9UgzkQ&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOZDG9UgzkQ&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 lol at your wife saying she's videotaping you just in case something good happens.. You must have a history of this sort of thing That wasn't my wife. My wife was on her cell phone talking in the background. She barely flinched when it happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JiFtheOracle Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 HA! If I was at the skatepark and I saw some father trying to be bold like that, I definitely would have taken a break and watched for the epic wipeout...like your wife did...Its a given. FWIW, as an avid skater who goes to parks often...I have seen this before. Often times its a father who is there skating with a youngster...the father was probably a skater in the 70's so he has that old school style. Then he sees is son is a little timid, so he trys go on something that is out of his league...almost 90% of the time it is an epic wipeout. The problem is, if they dont pop right up and act like its not big deal...the kid will be scared ****less forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 That wasn't my wife. My wife was on her cell phone talking in the background. She barely flinched when it happened. So she is used to your antics. Figures Darwin will catch up eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernJet Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 My 2 sons and I were at driving range years ago. Younger son swings and club goes flying out of hand and on range. I yell etc. JGBs then swings and club goes flying out of hand way up in air. It was like a slow motion disaster flick. The club starts its descent and is going towards a unsuspecting guy a few rows down on tee. Then , WHAMMO. It hots guy on shoulders. He starts writhing in pain, saying Ouch, Ouch. I then grab my 2 sons, say 'Get the hell in car NOWWWWWWWWWWWW.' They get in car, and remember NC has only 1 license plate and it goes on back of car. So I back out of park lot so no one can see my license plate#. I got the hell out of there before I got sued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny green balls Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Haha my brother and I were whining "but daaaaaaaaaaaaad we still have a lot of golf balls left to hit!" The old man pulled out of that gravel lot like Roscoe P. Coltrane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Haha my brother and I were whining "but daaaaaaaaaaaaad we still have a lot of golf balls left to hit!" The old man pulled out of that gravel lot like Roscoe P. Coltrane. That's awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DHJF Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I coach my 8yr old son's soccer team. We'd had several practices in the weeks leading up to our opening game this past Spring. One of the things we'd been working on was a simple step-fake. (This is probably the easiest fake for young kids to learn and master) Basically, the player has the ball on the front of the right foot; takes an exaggerated step to the R as if intending to do a sharp cut toward the R with the inside of his L foot; then immediately explodes to the left, dragging the ball with him on the outside of his L foot. I've used this fake for over 20 years and thousands of times, mind you. Fast forward to our opening game. Parents and players from both teams are in attendance. We were warming up on the field, and I decided we should practice the step-fake for a bit. I thought it might be a good idea to refresh their memories, so I took it upon myself to show by example. As I'm stepping over the ball, I don't raise my foot high enough and accidentally kick the top of the ball. It rolls to the right, so as I begin to step down, I step on the ball instead, twist my ankle, and fall to the ground with a thud, rolling around and writhing in pain. Everyone's laughing at me, I'm sure thinking to themselves "What a dope!" (I know I would) I ended up coaching the game from a lawn chair, unable to put any weight on my foot. I went to the emergency room after the game, and it turns out I strained some ankle ligaments and was basically lame for the first half of the season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillerPaul Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lift_(force) L = \tfrac12\rho v^2 A C_L where * L is lift force, * ρ is air density * v is true airspeed, * A is planform area, and * CL is the lift coefficient at the desired angle of attack, Mach number, and Reynolds number[43] If I calculated it right, your fat ass would have had to go at least 100MPH to escape the bonds of Earth's gravity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afosomf Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Haha my brother and I were whining "but daaaaaaaaaaaaad we still have a lot of golf balls left to hit!" The old man pulled out of that gravel lot like Roscoe P. Coltrane. i would have let u finish balls and told the guy that got hit...his follow thru suked anyway:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetophile Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Way to go, Evil Knievel. We used to do crazy stuff when we were kids, but that leveled off when we actually grew into the idea of self-preservation. Sigh. Anyway, there we'd be: "Watch me be Evil Knievel!" Crrrrrrrrasssssssssshhhhhhhhhh! "Ow.......!" Bruises and cuts were badges of honor. Hehe. No helmets or elbow pads, of course. Even if they made them back then, we probably would have just chucked them in the garage. Helmets and elbow pads are for fags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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