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The Coach's Official Response to Hot Doggate


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WOOOOO ****ING HOOOOO. What is UP Jet fan!! Did you see see that ass WHUPPING we put on those Raiders??? RAAAAIIIDAAAZZZZ Goddamn I hate Chris Berman. What a mess that guy is!! We lost Little Leon Washington which I had to mourn in my own way.

I mourned Leon's injury by attacking the buffet after the game, LIKE I ATTACK THE *****. THIS IS HOW I COPE WITH SADNESS SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT.

Anyways- Notice how I said AFTER THE GAME. These are key words. The ****ing Chalupa seemed to be taking this pretty hard as well. I'll give you some inside scoop on what he told me:

DIRTY CHALUPA: Hey coach, I feel really bad, like really this is my fault because you made Leon run the ball instead of me passing it. Because I threw 5 interceptions last week, it's my fault

SEXY REXY: What the **** IS THIS ***** **** CHALUPA! I am upset as well, that little man looked like he had delicious ribs, I MEAN, excellent football skills. Tonight we'll shotgun some beers, stuff our faces, punch strippers and take a gigantic **** in the hotel sink to lift our spirits!! WOOO HOOO

That's ****ing inspirational right there boys! Apparently though, when I mentioned "stuffing faces" Chalupa decided that meant to "stuff his face during the game". ROOKIE MISTAKE CHALUPA.

Why is it a rookie mistake? Why? CAUSE HE DIDN'T GET AT LEAST 5 HOT DOGS FOR COACH RYAN. That is why. Here I am, dealing with the heartbreak of seeing Leon go down and that ROOKIE DOES NOT OFFER ANY TO COACH RYAN.

I tell you what, that boy is LUCKY I didn't catch him because I would've GOBBLED THAT **** UP KOBAYASHI STYLES OM NOM NOM NOM. Seems that our little Chalupa-chize has some learning to do.

ON REX RYANS JETS, IF ONE MAN GETS A HOT DOG, EVERYBODY GETS A ****ING HOT DOG. AND I WILL **** THAT HOT DOG UNTIL IT'S A MESS OF SCATTERED PIG PARTS ALL OVER MY **** AND BALLS WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!!!!!!

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