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*** Offishall Movie Monsters POWAARRGGGHHH RAnKINgzzzzz Thread****


Integrity28
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Honorable mentions (from the left, picture with Godzilla):

Megalon, Gigan and Jet Jaguar

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Each of these guys is pretty bad ass, well except for Jet Jaguar who is kind of femm... but they fell short of my totally kick ass list... for reasons that will be obvious once you have seen my top 10.

Now for my TOP 10!!!!

10. Green Gargantuan (Gaira)

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From the movie War of the Gargantuas, the Green Gargantuan is pretty sweet. He eats people all the time and starts the movie off by kicking the crap out of a giant octopus... and all the people think he is saving them... but then he eats the people.

9. Rodan

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Rodan is pretty bad ass considering all he can do is flap his wings and squawk. He's usually a good guy... errr, monster. I like him.

8. Minya

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Minya is actually Godzilla's son. That alone makes him a must have on any experts top 10 list of power turds. Add to that his Crusher-like physique and the smoke rings he shoots out, and you've got yourself the makings of a great monster hero... plus, this guy never blinks... like ever. That alone is flippin sweet.

7. Mothra

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I actually don't like Mothra because he starts out as a bunch of fat, ugly flacid penis looking-like worms. Then he actually beats Godzilla.... but Mothra make the list, because of the pretty ladies that sing to him. I like them... they make the tip of my penis tingle when the sing.

6. Mechagodzilla

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Effin robots... Usually I would not include a robot in my list. BUT... this isn't just any robot... this is a robot modeled after the great Godzilla. That alone warrants inclusion on the list, add to that the fact that he is probably the only one of these monsters that can hack into your iPad... and that makes him okay in my book.

Edited by Integrity28
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5. Brown Gargantuan (Sanda)

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Why is the brown gargantuan better? He's the good guy of course. Plus, he's quite a bit better looking and the female lead in the movie digs him... I live my life by 2 simple rules: 1.) if you've got the good looks, then get the chicks to do you, 2.) if you don't, then you should eat them and spit out their clothes to make the rest of Tokyo freak out!!!

4. King Ghidorah

King-Ghidorah.JPG

This is hands down one of my favorite bad monsters... and think about this... everyone knows that these aren't real monsters and that there are people inside the costumes right? So how hard do you think it was to find an actor for inside the suit for a 3 headed monster? To this day, I don't know what this actors secret was... If I knew, well then my friends, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this right now... I'd have a whole other career in show business!

3. Gamera

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Gamera goes from being a cute turtle to a bad ass kicking turtle with an tremendous underbite. How can you not love him? Plus, on top of all that... he's definitely got some of the best moves of all monsters (even though he tries a little to hard to copy off of Godzilla).

2. King Kong

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Okay, this is where the great debate begins... who is number one? Well, in my book there is only one top monster. Kong is pretty awesome-tastic and he definitely knows how to get the ladies (kinda like the Brown Gargantuan) but Kong always seems to get hotter leading ladies in his films. Now, the original Kong movies were classics... setting the bar in many ways for all the flunkee monsters that would come along after him. I am making my vote based upon the classic Kong (Not the most recent made-over Kong that the fat guy who made the hobbit created) So... what is stopping King Kong from being King of my list? Lets remember something... the signature of a great movie monster is to trample all over Tokyo at the expense of screaming Japanese people being played by Chinese actors... Kong is not known for that, he slipped up in my book when he attacked New York City. Major no-no in my book.

1. Godzilla

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Really? What there ever any doubt?

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Big, green, fire-breathing and full of win... Godzilla is easily the funniest monster of all time... and just happens to know how to kick major ass.

Godzilla defines teh awesome... you really can't beat a monster built like it sits on the sofa all day watching tv, drinking beers and eating bbq that comes out and take on all comers... what separates Godzilla from all the others in the field? Godzilla is like the monster love-child of a 3way between a pirate, a zombie and a ninja.

You want to talk about movie makeovers??? King Kong gets Peter Jackson and that cute blonde chick... Godzilla gets Matthew Broderick and the Taco Bell chihuahua. That competition is rigged like a Patriots game.

I hope you've enjoyed my list. You should all feel honored that I took the time to share my geniuzzz and expertizzzze with you all.

Edited by Integrity28
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kudos for gamera, but minya is heresy !!!

you'd have to replace him with the beast from 20,000 fathoms or a good old fashioned ray harryhausen critter from sinbad

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Minya was meant to be tongue in cheek... the rest of the list is dead serious.

Harryhausen deserves his own top 10 list. :cheers:

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I think the Smog Monster should have made the top 10. That thing was one of Godzilla's toughest adversaries.

Indeed the smog monster was a great foe... and should have at least been an honorable mention.

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The very underrated Mr. David Cronenberg deserves some love in this thread...Maybe his own Top..9.

9) Dead Ringers Evil Twin

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8) Shivers Parasitic Monsters

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7) Scanners The Corporation

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6) The Rabid Crazy Chick

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5) The Videodrome Video Monster thing

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4) The existenz game Monster thing

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2) The Fly

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1) Naked Lunch Monster in crazy dudes head

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1) The Brood Kids

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The only show to ever come close to Godzilla glory was Ultraman. The monsters were teh awesome.

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The villain monsters in Ultraman were definitely created in the spirit of the classic Kaiju monsters... however, Ultraman himself had a case of teh hewmew just like Jet Jaguar.

Furthermore, the Ultraman that I have seen... was shot in the same frenetic way as the power rangers, which sucks... there just something about the way the original Kaiju monsters moved, dumpy, slow, lethargic, clumsily, that made them more endearing than the spastic motions of the more current stuff of this variety.

Gotta love 'em for keeping this genre going though... :)

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Your list is null and void for failing to include Inframan. If you don't know who that is I suggest you Netflix it immediately.

It's not often you get to see Giant Lobster creatures wearing Lugz.

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I'm sorry, my list includes MONSTERS... power ranger outcasts, running around in their footy pjs.

Besides... Godzilla fought a lobster once... and his was way cooler.

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Get me some lemon and butter... mmmm...

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Godzilla had a second son. That son was I.

One of my favorite Godzilla movie posters and monsters:

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I think that if Mothra was done right today it'd be a hit. Using top of the line puppetry of course...not that CGI garbage.

Edited by SenorGato
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1991-G91_A1G.jpg

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Underrated awesome monsters:

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Werewolf from Dog Soldiers

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Nosferatu

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Biollante

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The original Godzilla vs Mothra

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Zombie from Zombie 2

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Heavily underrated movie just because they somehow actually pulled off a modern dragon story.

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The Host monster

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The only movie monster I'd ever shyte my pants about if it existed.

Edited by SenorGato
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+1 to Cronenberg and Nosferatu, but I'm stunned Carpenter's version of The Thing hasn't gotten more burn.

The Thing is awesome... my list was intentionally almost all classic Kaiju monsters, which is very restricting, because those are the movies that hold the most nostalgia for me. I used to watch them with my Mom.

One of her favorites, the original Mighty Joe Young:

king-kong-collection-king-kong-2-disc-special-edition-son-of-kong-mighty-joe-young-20051130024258035-000.jpg

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Excellent list of all the Ray Harryhausen creatures...

http://www.harryhausen.com

Skeletons from Jason and the Argonauts were the best. :)

Medusa and the Kraken from teh original Clash of the Titans are right up there @ the top of my list of his best work too...

Edited by Integrity28
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