JustInFudge Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 I have a relative who found the one stripper who was ok. she's nuts. wacko. bipolar. loopy. freakazoid. ...but pretty. With her it's food. At any restaurant it's a sport to return the food, complain, and demand freebies and apologies from the manager. I once saw her return FRIES at Burger King because they weren't the proper shade of 'golden brown'. But I'm sure Jif has found the good one. She is the one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along... She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her. I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer. dude this will not end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klecko73isGod Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 That's just wrong, though I did read that Ocho Cinco has a small map of Florida on his left cheek -- his face, not other cheek. So, Kleck, does your neighbor's tattoo look anything like this? Actually, my neighbor's is on the right side and it's filled in in dark green for some odd reason. My neighbor also doesn't rock the Jersey Shore 'do like the obvious winner in life pictured above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aten Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Do they keep records for stuff like eliciting honest answers to a question that includes the words horse whisperer? If so this is up there with a 56-game hitting streak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain_the_foe Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along... She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her. I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer. The video will explain it all X4sEB69NHvI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 You're not in love. You're in stripper love. Big difference, huge difference. Yes, stripper love lasts one dollar at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doggin94it Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Orthodox Jews and strippers. Just smash, otherwise stay away. Dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain_the_foe Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Yes, stripper love lasts one dollar at a time. We do benjamins now Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vudu Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Just because ... Dn_1ZWo0GNw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECURB Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rillo Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Do it, just don't fall in love. If she has a drug problem (most do), don't bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klecko73isGod Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 tojBadSr2zI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greeneyedlady Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 In the event that this isn't a joke.... 1. If she takes off her clothes while hanging on a pole and gets paid to do it, she's a stripper. 2. Chances are she works with a girl who also vows that she is only stripping to make money to help her pursue another career. 3. No doubt she has major issues. 4. You will never get any sleep helping her lay out those wet dollar bills to air dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenorGato Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 This can only end well for you so I say you pursue your individual happiness in the form of this undoubtedly talented dancer. Move with haste because love is fleeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 Agreed...wish I had some. Hopefully soon . Do it, just don't fall in love. If she has a drug problem (most do), don't bother. We both like weed...does that count? In the event that this isn't a joke.... 1. If she takes off her clothes while hanging on a pole and gets paid to do it, she's a stripper. 2. Chances are she works with a girl who also vows that she is only stripping to make money to help her pursue another career. 3. No doubt she has major issues. 4. You will never get any sleep helping her lay out those wet dollar bills to air dry. 1) Dont call her a stripper, she's an Exotic Dancer. 2) Yes but she had pictures on her phone of Fantasy and her riding the Fantasy and doing jumps and stuff...so there was proof. 3) Dont we all? 4) I cant sleep these day anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rillo Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 We both like weed...does that count? No, weed is not a drug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotReign37 Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Stay away. When things get slow Horse Whispering shell be back dancing. Then what? She will leave you for a degenerate because she likes the drama and excitement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Banner Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 I have a relative who found the one stripper who was ok. she's nuts. wacko. bipolar. loopy. freakazoid. ...but pretty. With her it's food. At any restaurant it's a sport to return the food, complain, and demand freebies and apologies from the manager. I once saw her return FRIES at Burger King because they weren't the proper shade of 'golden brown'. But I'm sure Jif has found the good one. Your relative needs to google up Borderline Personality Disorder. Make sure he reads the part about how its incurable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Banner Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along... She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her. I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer. I feel like this is an inside joke I'm not in on. I don't listen to rap or watch Entourage or CSI or 24 or a bunch of other shows so I'm guessing it has to do with one of those things. Only thing I know for sure is it has nothing to do with Star Trek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 OMG dude. I could not be happier for you. Not even sure what to say. All these years since your live in love ended you have been diick frisking a different girl each night and now you found your true love. Dude I'm absolutely thrilled for you and your lady, wow, your blessed. I know how hard you tried to meat the right girl over and over again, sometimes in pairs and now you met the ONE. Even your mom tried to hook you up with some hair cutting harlot but it was not to be, now you met your soul mate. Ms Crusher and I send are best wishes. Finally, you can take the bunk bed for gunior and put it in the attic until you eventually have your dfirst little bundle of joy. Not sure I know what to say, Im just so happy for you. Im assuming eventually a proposal is coming and I cant wait till your stag party. The Crusher will be waddling down to Orlando for that badboy. Gonna get some nice matching "Im with idiot" shirts for Klecko and I so we can stand on either siade with you, it will be epic. Marrying an exotic dancer has so much upside and not a single negative I can think of. First off... Can you say "Double Income'? Can you say "Tax exmpetion" ? Very hard for the IRS to track dollar bills, **** you Obama, not getting the future Ms Bup-z's money. Secondly... No one could ever tell you your wife is fat or unattractive. If they do you can just gloat as they lay down dollar after dollar to watch her share her craft at any family function. You will lauagh last Bup-z, their will be laughter. thridly... Most exotic dancers I know, obviously thru friends of mine, have a certain appreciation of the femionie mystique. Walking thru the mall hand and hand and a young lady catches your eye, rather than shy away and worry about your wife getting upset, you can simply be honest and ask, "Baby would you do her?" High fiving thru the mall as the two of you shop for home furnishings, micro shorts and double sided dongs for entertaining. Tear just ran down my enormous cheek. Foruthly.. Energy. Alot of guys I know are married too woman who get tired and have a hard time doing all the things necessary to have s wonderderful life together. Sorry Honey, Im too tired... To feed the kids, go groiery shop, to cook a half pig, or take a backdoor trouncing. Not the futrue Ms Bup-s, no sir, not on a long shot. A simple trip to the right side of town. 180 $ and the eight ball of happiness provides marital bliss the like most married guys dream about. Exotic dancers believe in Vitamins, expecially B12. Fifthly.. naming your cildren, tuff for alot of people, with the pressure of honoring their elders or chosing a name from a book. Naming a child is for life. You and the Misses will have it easy. Unlike the rest of us who either choose family names, like I have Salvatore ( honoring my Grandpa), Rose ( honring an Aunt) or Joseph ( honoring my Dad) you have another avenue. Names like Bambi, Tiger Lilly, Roxanne, Delila, Amber, and of course Raven are all fair game. Thor, Conan and Ironman could work fine for any male offspring. Exotic clubs need managers too,. Dr Crushlove sits here feeling as if he has finally reach the pinacle of his craft, like Lance Armstrong with the yellow jersey you have made my professional joureny complete. This is exactly what Ive always wnated for you, to meet the woman of your dreams, fall in love and spend the rest of your life together loving one and another between dance sets. Im almost too emotional to continue. Let me end by saying that I am so proud of you and I wish you and her the best life possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Proud day for a fatman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larz Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 dude strippers have a cell phone just for work it aint her "real" phone number and you are in love with the idea of banging a stripper, lets be real here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIGHT STALKER Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 I just have one question...how is the lighting in this joint where this "exoctic dancer" does the cha cha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 thridly... Most exotic dancers I know, obviously thru friends of mine, have a certain appreciation of the femionie mystique. Walking thru the mall hand and hand and a young lady catches your eye, rather than shy away and worry about your wife getting upset, you can simply be honest and ask, "Baby would you do her?" High fiving thru the mall as the two of you shop for home furnishings, micro shorts and double sided dongs for entertaining. Tear just ran down my enormous cheek. Fifthly.. naming your cildren, tuff for alot of people, with the pressure of honoring their elders or chosing a name from a book. Naming a child is for life. You and the Misses will have it easy. Unlike the rest of us who either choose family names, like I have Salvatore ( honoring my Grandpa), Rose ( honring an Aunt) or Joseph ( honoring my Dad) you have another avenue. Names like Bambi, Tiger Lilly, Roxanne, Delila, Amber, and of course Raven are all fair game. Thor, Conan and Ironman could work fine for any male offspring. Exotic clubs need managers too,. Dr Crushlove sits here feeling as if he has finally reach the pinacle of his craft, like Lance Armstrong with the yellow jersey you have made my professional joureny complete. This is exactly what Ive always wnated for you, to meet the woman of your dreams, fall in love and spend the rest of your life together loving one and another between dance sets. Im almost too emotional to continue. Let me end by saying that I am so proud of you and I wish you and her the best life possible. i want to name my firstborn ironman this is a friggin hilarious post. if they still did POTW i'd nom it. by the way a belly dancer is an "exotic dancer" ... if the dancing is somehow identifiable as from another culture than America it's exotic. What's so exotic about gettin nekkid to "all i do is win" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Orthodox Jews and strippers. Just smash, otherwise stay away. *modern Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustInFudge Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 Proud day for a fatman. Thank you for all your hard work Dr. Crushlove. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Jet Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Three words JIF, Wookin Pah Nub! That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 I found a shot of kira the exotic dancer.. she's very, uhh.. crusherific! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenorGato Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 You're not supposed to love hos. Find someone classier like a Wal-Mart greeting girl or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 JiF, just do her and see how you feel about her the next day. Something tells me you'll feel differently, unless she gives a mean...... oh, you get the point. I'm serious, here. Do you know how many simply adorable, hunky, gorgeous, whatever guys just didn't seem the same in the morning? Okay, not THAT many, but that's generally the way it works. It's the not-so-gorgeous ones that generally make the effort to please. Yes, I'm talking about good sex vs good-looking sex here. Wanna guess which lasts longer? Measure that in years, not minutes. I KNOW y'all took that the wrong way..... lol. But be careful and smart, hon, okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 i want to name my firstborn ironman this is a friggin hilarious post. if they still did POTW i'd nom it. by the way a belly dancer is an "exotic dancer" ... if the dancing is somehow identifiable as from another culture than America it's exotic. What's so exotic about gettin nekkid to "all i do is win" I found a shot of kira the exotic dancer.. she's very, uhh.. crusherific! Please do not judge this love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drago Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 i thought this was a joke...especially when he said he was in the 1% of the guys there that were not d-bags....then as i read on...i became more confident that he was actually serious. And for this...i vote this the worst thread of all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPR Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Clearly, the only thing you can do is to go to her, and tell her how you feel. It will mean more to her if you do it while she's at work. That makes it real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Banner Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 i thought this was a joke...especially when he said he was in the 1% of the guys there that were not d-bags....then as i read on...i became more confident that he was actually serious. And for this...i vote this the worst thread of all time. I can't believe its real because of the part about wanting to be a horse whisperer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larz Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 ok jif, here's a suggestion tell her you're so glad the two of you connected on a meaningful level, because now you don't have to see her in the bar anymore ! Explain that you don't want to waste her time at the bar since your not going to be spending money on her anymore ! hey, you realize it's a business and you don't want to get in the way of her making a living afterall then ask her out for coffee tell us how she reacts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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