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I'm in love with an Exotic Dancer


JiFields
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Do I call Kira the Exotic Dancer?  

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  1. 1. Do I call Kira the Exotic Dancer?

    • Yes
      20
    • No
      5


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I have a relative who found the one stripper who was ok.

she's nuts. wacko. bipolar. loopy. freakazoid. ...but pretty.

With her it's food. At any restaurant it's a sport to return the food, complain, and demand freebies and apologies from the manager. I once saw her return FRIES at Burger King because they weren't the proper shade of 'golden brown'.

But I'm sure Jif has found the good one.

She is the one.

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Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along...

She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her.

I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer.

dude this will not end well.

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That's just wrong, though I did read that Ocho Cinco has a small map of Florida on his left cheek -- his face, not other cheek.

So, Kleck, does your neighbor's tattoo look anything like this? :rl:

florida-face-tattoo-5886-1248196587-7.jpg

Actually, my neighbor's is on the right side and it's filled in in dark green for some odd reason. My neighbor also doesn't rock the Jersey Shore 'do like the obvious winner in life pictured above.

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Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along...

She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her.

I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer.

The video will explain it all

X4sEB69NHvI

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In the event that this isn't a joke....

1. If she takes off her clothes while hanging on a pole and gets paid to do it, she's a stripper.

2. Chances are she works with a girl who also vows that she is only stripping to make money to help her pursue another career.

3. No doubt she has major issues.

4. You will never get any sleep helping her lay out those wet dollar bills to air dry.

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:usel:

Agreed...wish I had some. Hopefully soon ;-).

Do it, just don't fall in love. If she has a drug problem (most do), don't bother.

We both like weed...does that count?

In the event that this isn't a joke....

1. If she takes off her clothes while hanging on a pole and gets paid to do it, she's a stripper.

2. Chances are she works with a girl who also vows that she is only stripping to make money to help her pursue another career.

3. No doubt she has major issues.

4. You will never get any sleep helping her lay out those wet dollar bills to air dry.

1) Dont call her a stripper, she's an Exotic Dancer.

2) Yes but she had pictures on her phone of Fantasy and her riding the Fantasy and doing jumps and stuff...so there was proof.

3) Dont we all?

4) I cant sleep these day anyway.

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I have a relative who found the one stripper who was ok.

she's nuts. wacko. bipolar. loopy. freakazoid. ...but pretty.

With her it's food. At any restaurant it's a sport to return the food, complain, and demand freebies and apologies from the manager. I once saw her return FRIES at Burger King because they weren't the proper shade of 'golden brown'.

But I'm sure Jif has found the good one.

Your relative needs to google up Borderline Personality Disorder.

Make sure he reads the part about how its incurable.

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Her name is Kira. She is just dancing to make ends meet while she is pursuing her career as Horse Whisperer. She has a horse named Fantasy. The last couple of men she's met have been dead beats. Then I came along...

She told me I was the hottest guy in the club. We have similar interests and share the same sarcastic humor. I'm in the 1 percentile of men that arent actually DBags that go see her and that turned her on. She whispered her number in my ear and told me if I could memorize, I can call her.

I think I love her, but I'm hesitant to call. Please help. I'll start a poll. Please dont call her a stripper in your responses, she's an exotic dancer.

I feel like this is an inside joke I'm not in on. I don't listen to rap or watch Entourage or CSI or 24 or a bunch of other shows so I'm guessing it has to do with one of those things. Only thing I know for sure is it has nothing to do with Star Trek.

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OMG dude. I could not be happier for you. Not even sure what to say. All these years since your live in love ended you have been diick frisking a different girl each night and now you found your true love. Dude I'm absolutely thrilled for you and your lady, wow, your blessed.

I know how hard you tried to meat the right girl over and over again, sometimes in pairs and now you met the ONE. Even your mom tried to hook you up with some hair cutting harlot but it was not to be, now you met your soul mate. Ms Crusher and I send are best wishes.

Finally, you can take the bunk bed for gunior and put it in the attic until you eventually have your dfirst little bundle of joy. Not sure I know what to say, Im just so happy for you.

Im assuming eventually a proposal is coming and I cant wait till your stag party. The Crusher will be waddling down to Orlando for that badboy. Gonna get some nice matching "Im with idiot" shirts for Klecko and I so we can stand on either siade with you, it will be epic.

Marrying an exotic dancer has so much upside and not a single negative I can think of.

First off... Can you say "Double Income'? Can you say "Tax exmpetion" ? Very hard for the IRS to track dollar bills, **** you Obama, not getting the future Ms Bup-z's money.

Secondly... No one could ever tell you your wife is fat or unattractive. If they do you can just gloat as they lay down dollar after dollar to watch her share her craft at any family function. You will lauagh last Bup-z, their will be laughter.

thridly... Most exotic dancers I know, obviously thru friends of mine, have a certain appreciation of the femionie mystique. Walking thru the mall hand and hand and a young lady catches your eye, rather than shy away and worry about your wife getting upset, you can simply be honest and ask, "Baby would you do her?" High fiving thru the mall as the two of you shop for home furnishings, micro shorts and double sided dongs for entertaining. Tear just ran down my enormous cheek.

Foruthly.. Energy. Alot of guys I know are married too woman who get tired and have a hard time doing all the things necessary to have s wonderderful life together. Sorry Honey, Im too tired... To feed the kids, go groiery shop, to cook a half pig, or take a backdoor trouncing. Not the futrue Ms Bup-s, no sir, not on a long shot. A simple trip to the right side of town. 180 $ and the eight ball of happiness provides marital bliss the like most married guys dream about. Exotic dancers believe in Vitamins, expecially B12.

Fifthly.. naming your cildren, tuff for alot of people, with the pressure of honoring their elders or chosing a name from a book. Naming a child is for life. You and the Misses will have it easy. Unlike the rest of us who either choose family names, like I have Salvatore ( honoring my Grandpa), Rose ( honring an Aunt) or Joseph ( honoring my Dad) you have another avenue. Names like Bambi, Tiger Lilly, Roxanne, Delila, Amber, and of course Raven are all fair game. Thor, Conan and Ironman could work fine for any male offspring. Exotic clubs need managers too,.

Dr Crushlove sits here feeling as if he has finally reach the pinacle of his craft, like Lance Armstrong with the yellow jersey you have made my professional joureny complete. This is exactly what Ive always wnated for you, to meet the woman of your dreams, fall in love and spend the rest of your life together loving one and another between dance sets. Im almost too emotional to continue. Let me end by saying that I am so proud of you and I wish you and her the best life possible.

Edited by The Crusher
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thridly... Most exotic dancers I know, obviously thru friends of mine, have a certain appreciation of the femionie mystique. Walking thru the mall hand and hand and a young lady catches your eye, rather than shy away and worry about your wife getting upset, you can simply be honest and ask, "Baby would you do her?" High fiving thru the mall as the two of you shop for home furnishings, micro shorts and double sided dongs for entertaining. Tear just ran down my enormous cheek.

Fifthly.. naming your cildren, tuff for alot of people, with the pressure of honoring their elders or chosing a name from a book. Naming a child is for life. You and the Misses will have it easy. Unlike the rest of us who either choose family names, like I have Salvatore ( honoring my Grandpa), Rose ( honring an Aunt) or Joseph ( honoring my Dad) you have another avenue. Names like Bambi, Tiger Lilly, Roxanne, Delila, Amber, and of course Raven are all fair game. Thor, Conan and Ironman could work fine for any male offspring. Exotic clubs need managers too,.

Dr Crushlove sits here feeling as if he has finally reach the pinacle of his craft, like Lance Armstrong with the yellow jersey you have made my professional joureny complete. This is exactly what Ive always wnated for you, to meet the woman of your dreams, fall in love and spend the rest of your life together loving one and another between dance sets. Im almost too emotional to continue. Let me end by saying that I am so proud of you and I wish you and her the best life possible.

i want to name my firstborn ironman

this is a friggin hilarious post. if they still did POTW i'd nom it.

by the way a belly dancer is an "exotic dancer" ... if the dancing is somehow identifiable as from another culture than America it's exotic.

What's so exotic about gettin nekkid to "all i do is win"

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JiF, just do her and see how you feel about her the next day. Something tells me you'll feel differently, unless she gives a mean...... oh, you get the point.

I'm serious, here. Do you know how many simply adorable, hunky, gorgeous, whatever guys just didn't seem the same in the morning? Okay, not THAT many, but that's generally the way it works. It's the not-so-gorgeous ones that generally make the effort to please. Yes, I'm talking about good sex vs good-looking sex here. Wanna guess which lasts longer? Measure that in years, not minutes. I KNOW y'all took that the wrong way..... lol.

But be careful and smart, hon, okay?

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i want to name my firstborn ironman

this is a friggin hilarious post. if they still did POTW i'd nom it.

by the way a belly dancer is an "exotic dancer" ... if the dancing is somehow identifiable as from another culture than America it's exotic.

What's so exotic about gettin nekkid to "all i do is win"

I found a shot of kira the exotic dancer..

she's very, uhh.. crusherific!

Fat%20Belly%20Dancer.jpg

Please do not judge this love.

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i thought this was a joke...especially when he said he was in the 1% of the guys there that were not d-bags....then as i read on...i became more confident that he was actually serious. And for this...i vote this the worst thread of all time.

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i thought this was a joke...especially when he said he was in the 1% of the guys there that were not d-bags....then as i read on...i became more confident that he was actually serious. And for this...i vote this the worst thread of all time.

I can't believe its real because of the part about wanting to be a horse whisperer.

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ok jif,

here's a suggestion

tell her you're so glad the two of you connected on a meaningful level, because now you don't have to see her in the bar anymore !

Explain that you don't want to waste her time at the bar since your not going to be spending money on her anymore !

hey, you realize it's a business and you don't want to get in the way of her making a living afterall

then ask her out for coffee

tell us how she reacts

:drama:

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