Why do women propose to killers?

[jgb]

Why Do Murderers Get Mailbags Full of Love Letters and Marriage Proposals?

Murder suspect Joran van der Sloot has been bragging about receiving a deluge of attention from women since confessing to the murder of Stephany Flores. What gives?

June 26, 2010

Murder suspect Joran van der Sloot says women are begging to bed him. He bragged to reporters this week about receiving love letters and marriage proposals since confessing to the murder of Stephany Flores, whose battered corpse was found in the young Dutchman's Lima hotel room on June 2.

Not everyone thinks murderers make bad company. To some women -- and a smaller share of men -- extinguish a life and you become a fetish object. What drives women to cruise Web sites such as PrisonPenPals.com, WriteaPrisoner.com, ConvictMailbag.com, and Meet-an-Inmate.com, where prisoners (granted, only some are killers) post pictures and pleas?

"Hello beautiful, thank you for taking time out of your life to bless me with your presence," writes terrifying-looking Anthony in Texas, his entire neck tattooed with a flaming "A." Peering into his half-shut eyes, you wonder what they've seen. Six-foot, 220-pound Anthony wants to "make you smile. ... At this point, there's only three actions left for you, to take down my information, create your own biography ... then mail it along with a picture of yourself. There's no need to search any further, I honestly believe we've both found what we've been looking for. I'll be waiting."

"Send a picture of yourself so I may be able to see the beautiful rose in your friendship garden," pleads Kyon in New York.

"My favorite subject is revisionist history," offers Joel in Wisconsin.

"I have a very good sense of humor," proclaims Oregon lifer Eugene.

Part of this is about power. And then there's the common attraction to bad-boys that can go way overboard. "Being associated with someone bad gives you a chance to consider yourself a rebel," says Radford University forensic psychologist Mike Aamodt, who has researched this fetish. "You see it in junior high and high school," where thugs are chick magnets. "When you're talking about killers, that ups the bad-boy ante."

"If you have a dull life, this gives you a purpose," Aamodt says. "At parties, people ask who you're dating. If instead of saying that you're dating an accountant you can say you're dating a serial killer, doesn't that make you sound a lot more exciting?"

In a celebrity-driven culture, newsmaking murderers get the most mail. Van der Sloot's would-be baby-mamas "want to share his celebrity status and become celebrities with him. They want their fifteen minutes," Aamodt says. That's why "Night Stalker" Richard Ramirez, who killed 13 in a 1985 reign of terror that included rape, torture and the gouging out of eyes, still receives bags full of mail 21 years after entering San Quentin's death row

[Sperm Edwards]

Never understood this. Only thing I can think of is the woman is so low on self-esteem that she needs someone who can, in some way, look up to her as opposed to (from her point of view) everyone looking down to her. This guy will be all hers because he can't seek out other women while incarcerated. But even that's a stretch. Most likely their brains have anal spores where neurons are supposed to be.

[sirlancemehlot]

it's well known women like "bad boys" but isn't this taking it a little too far? is it because they think it'll be a quick ticket to fame, which seems to be what people covet most nowadays?

No, it's because danger makes women horny. Documented fact. Fear stimulates sex pheromones in women. Scary movies, roller coasters, motorcycle riding, tend to be huge turn-ons for women. Also, the smell of cucumber and Anis (like Good n Plenty candy).

The vagina wants what the vagina wants. What can I tell ya?

[jgb]

Never understood this. Only thing I can think of is the woman is so low on self-esteem that she needs someone who can, in some way, look up to her as opposed to (from her point of view) everyone looking down to her. This guy will be all hers because he can't seek out other women while incarcerated. But even that's a stretch. Most likely their brains have anal spores where neurons are supposed to be.

No, it's because danger makes women horny. Documented fact. Fear stimulates sex pheromones in women. Scary movies, roller coasters, motorcycle riding, tend to be huge turn-ons for women. Also, the smell of cucumber and Anis (like Good n Plenty candy).

The vagina wants what the vagina wants. What can I tell ya?

good points. i think it's also that most women like bad boys (although not THIS bad usually) because they like a project. they like to "transform" a bad boy into a loving boyfriend/husband. they like to look back and say "look at what i've created."

[Bob]

Women are insane. This is not news.

[Jetsfan80]

While not all women want a jerk for a boyfriend, pretty much ALL women want a STRONG man. And what kind of person reveals strength (albeit in a horrific fashion) more than one who has taken another life?

Its pretty f***ed up, but when SO many women are flooding mailboxes of murderers like this article suggests (and not just the crazies like Sperm and Bob are suggesting), this displays something innate about women that really can't be fully understood.

[Bruce Banner]

The usual explanation is that these women have abandonment issues and they see convicts as men who can't leave them and so that soothes there constant fear of abandonment.

I don't know if that specific claim is true, but I know from experience there are messed up women in this world whose every move is controlled by their abandonment issues. And then you have to dump them because they are so crazy and that makes it worse for them. Very sad thing.

[Verde]

Never understood this. Only thing I can think of is the woman is so low on self-esteem that she needs someone who can, in some way, look up to her as opposed to (from her point of view) everyone looking down to her...

My sister is one of these women; it pains me to say. She is currently married to a guy from Australia, whom she met and "dated" online for about a year. The "best" part? He's a paranoid schizophrenic who believes that we are all out to destroy him.

My sister has always had self esteem issues and falls for any man that gives her any attention, overlooking and excusing any behavioral issues because of it.

[sirlancemehlot]

My sister is one of these women; it pains me to say. She is currently married to a guy from Australia, whom she met and "dated" online for about a year. The "best" part? He's a paranoid schizophrenic who believes that we are all out to destroy him.

My sister has always had self esteem issues and falls for any man that gives her any attention, overlooking and excusing any behavioral issues because of it.

If you'd like, I'll kill him with a spiked cucumber while chewing black licorice and riding a motorcycle.

[PatriotReign37]

Also, the smell of cucumber and Anis

Way too much info.

[#27TheDominator]

The usual explanation is that these women have abandonment issues and they see convicts as men who can't leave them and so that soothes there constant fear of abandonment.

I don't know if that specific claim is true, but I know from experience there are messed up women in this world whose every move is controlled by their abandonment issues. And then you have to dump them because they are so crazy and that makes it worse for them. Very sad thing.

+1

Captive audience.

My sister is one of these women; it pains me to say. She is currently married to a guy from Australia, whom she met and "dated" online for about a year. The "best" part? He's a paranoid schizophrenic who believes that we are all out to destroy him.

My sister has always had self esteem issues and falls for any man that gives her any attention, overlooking and excusing any behavioral issues because of it.

I'd have preferred she got a boob job.

[Bob]

My sister has always had self esteem issues and falls for any man that gives her any attention, overlooking and excusing any behavioral issues because of it.

Does she look like you? I mean, my wife is bound to get sick of me sooner or later...

[Lady Jet]

I dunno! I married a nerd guy, and I'm pretty happy.

[Bob]

I dunno! I married a nerd guy, and I'm pretty happy.

My analysis of you, done over a decade of message board interaction and a couple of lunches, indicates that you, unlike most women, are not insane.

[Thor99]

Because, chances are that the prisoner is a wrongfully accused innocent, put there by a power hungry and corrupt police force.

[Jetsfan80]

Because, chances are that the prisoner is a wrongfully accused innocent, put there by a power hungry and corrupt police force.

Well played.

[ZachEY]

While not all women want a jerk for a boyfriend, pretty much ALL women want a STRONG man. And what kind of person reveals strength (albeit in a horrific fashion) more than one who has taken another life?

This is pretty much the deal, I believe.

Women with emotional issues may potentially see a killer as a man who is capable of protecting her at all costs. Women in general have evolved to seek out males who offer them protection, and this is a maladaptive expression of that innate sense.

In order to suit their fantasy, I'd say they likely attribute the blame of the crime to the victims (they had it coming), and assume that the killer would never do anything to harm them.

I don't think it has much to do w/ star****ing, as this has been around long before social networking and reality shows told us all we can and need to be famous. I also doubt it has much to do with the excitement, because outside of a few, I don't think most are looking to go on Bonnie and Clyde type adventures with the prisoner.

[sirlancemehlot]

Way too much info.

Not cucumber in the anus. That would give salad tossing a whole new angle. Fresh cucumber (bath and body works makes some fine washy-soapy stuff) and Anis (pronounces a-neese, like Anisette or black licorice). The bitchez love it.

[The Gun Of Bavaria]

Women are insane. This is not news.

[Lil Bit Special]

Also, the smell of cucumber and Anis (like Good n Plenty candy).

The vagina wants what the vagina wants. What can I tell ya?

Wow. I totally misread this. I thought it said Arsis. I miss him.

BRING BACK ARSIS!

BRING BACK ARSIS!

[Verde]

Does she look like you? I mean, my wife is bound to get sick of me sooner or later...

We look nothing alike and I think you are far too normal for her liking.

[Garb]

This is pretty much the deal, I believe.

Women with emotional issues may potentially see a killer as a man who is capable of protecting her at all costs. Women in general have evolved to seek out males who offer them protection, and this is a maladaptive expression of that innate sense.

In order to suit their fantasy, I'd say they likely attribute the blame of the crime to the victims (they had it coming), and assume that the killer would never do anything to harm them.

I don't think it has much to do w/ star****ing, as this has been around long before social networking and reality shows told us all we can and need to be famous. I also doubt it has much to do with the excitement, because outside of a few, I don't think most are looking to go on Bonnie and Clyde type adventures with the prisoner.

That is the most effed up thing I've heard all day - and I hear effed up stuff at work all the time.

So, a women who CLEARLY has issues marries a convicted murderer because he will protect her at all costs? How is he supposed to accomplish that behind bars? Okay, your speaking figureatively....but isn't the desire to be "protected" have its roots in the literal? Then again, anyone that hooks up with a convicted murderer probably has a hard time with reality altogether. Talk about delusion! They must all be Jets fans!

[#27TheDominator]

This is pretty much the deal, I believe.

Women with emotional issues may potentially see a killer as a man who is capable of protecting her at all costs. Women in general have evolved to seek out males who offer them protection, and this is a maladaptive expression of that innate sense.

In order to suit their fantasy, I'd say they likely attribute the blame of the crime to the victims (they had it coming), and assume that the killer would never do anything to harm them.

I don't think it has much to do w/ star****ing, as this has been around long before social networking and reality shows told us all we can and need to be famous. I also doubt it has much to do with the excitement, because outside of a few, I don't think most are looking to go on Bonnie and Clyde type adventures with the prisoner.

That is the most effed up thing I've heard all day - and I hear effed up stuff at work all the time.

So, a women who CLEARLY has issues marries a convicted murderer because he will protect her at all costs? How is he supposed to accomplish that behind bars? Okay, your speaking figureatively....but isn't the desire to be "protected" have its roots in the literal? Then again, anyone that hooks up with a convicted murderer probably has a hard time with reality altogether. Talk about delusion! They must all be Jets fans!

I tend to agree more with the self-esteem contingent, that these women are looking for somebody that will consider themselves lucky to have a woman. A man in prison should think that they are a catch no matter how ugly/overweight/repulsive they might feel.

OTOH, there may be something to this protective aspect. Women have a tendency to like bad boys and I think it has more to do with perceived strength than the fact that they actually like *******s. If you are nervous on a street corner late at night who would you rather have by your side, Bill Gates or Russell Crowe? This may be a misguided extension of that in the extreme.

[JohnnyHector]

If you are nervous on a street corner late at night who would you rather have by your side, Bill Gates or Russell Crowe? This may be a misguided extension of that in the extreme.

Well, despite being cheap, Gates has the means to buy his way out of the situation. However, if there's a telephone handy to be used as a projectile, Crowe wins hands-down.

[#27TheDominator]

Well, despite being cheap, Gates has the means to buy his way out of the situation. However, if there's a telephone handy to be used as a projectile, Crowe wins hands-down.

Exactly. That's why it's chicks with low self-esteem. Hot, confident chicks like Naomi Campbell can throw their own cell phones!

[ZachEY]

That is the most effed up thing I've heard all day - and I hear effed up stuff at work all the time.

So, a women who CLEARLY has issues marries a convicted murderer because he will protect her at all costs? How is he supposed to accomplish that behind bars? Okay, your speaking figureatively....but isn't the desire to be "protected" have its roots in the literal? Then again, anyone that hooks up with a convicted murderer probably has a hard time with reality altogether. Talk about delusion! They must all be Jets fans!

I'd say the practicalities of the situation are left behind the moment ink touches paper.

[ZachEY]

I tend to agree more with the self-esteem contingent, that these women are looking for somebody that will consider themselves lucky to have a woman. A man in prison should think that they are a catch no matter how ugly/overweight/repulsive they might feel.

OTOH, there may be something to this protective aspect. Women have a tendency to like bad boys and I think it has more to do with perceived strength than the fact that they actually like *******s. If you are nervous on a street corner late at night who would you rather have by your side, Bill Gates or Russell Crowe? This may be a misguided extension of that in the extreme.

I believe if it were just about being with someone who feels lucky to have them, you see a lot more letters going to crackheads and the like. These things happen with high crime, men who have displayed great power. Not great power to those of sound mind, but you get the idea.

[#27TheDominator]

I believe if it were just about being with someone who feels lucky to have them, you see a lot more letters going to crackheads and the like. These things happen with high crime, men who have displayed great power. Not great power to those of sound mind, but you get the idea.

Maybe, but there is also the stability issue. Prisoners aren't likely to cheat on them and they'll never know where crackheads are in the morning. I actually think there is a fair amount of women loving crackheads and the like, but you don't get as far as the marriage proposal because of the instability. Prisoners are pretty much rock solid when it comes to where they are going to sleep at night.

[Sperm Edwards]

Maybe the prospective wives want to inherit the "estates" of these criminals.

[Bruce Banner]

To have some perspective on all this you have to remember that all that matters is what desirable women want. 90% of all women are undateable, it has to be true because they said it on Seinfeld. So just focus on what dateable women want and don't worry if the rest like Justin Beiber.

[villain_the_foe]

I guess cuz they find it kinda sexy.

[greeneyedlady]

They are desperate for husbands, and yet are happy that they won't have to wash the skid marks in the the dudes' boxers and briefs.

[Bruce Banner]

They are desperate for husbands, and yet are happy that they won't have to wash the skid marks in the the dudes' boxers and briefs.

What is it with that? When I used to spend time at home as an adult my mom told me she sorted out the laundry by figuring all the clean underwear was mine and the skid marks were my dad's. Does being married make you poop?

[jgb]

Prisoners aren't likely to cheat on them

with another woman