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The 'Wrong Line' Thread


SouthernJet

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Pain in the arse moments in life.

You pick the wrong toll booth line, you lick the grocery line with the 'trainee' etc etc

Any more of these , Oh Damn moments?

A while back we went to the supermercato. This is a new thing in Italy. Normal people walk to the market every day on the way home from work and buy fresh for dinner. These giant supermercati are huge, part shopping mall, part Shop-Rite, part Cosco. They have about 50 check out aisles, but they are all swamped. I won't go into how you can only enter the store past the right-most counter (honestly more than a football field) or how you have to wear a little rubber glove to touch the produce while people have their dogs sitting in their carts, walking around sniffing and licking everything.

On this particular day we scouted out all the aisles and out of the 50 chose the shortest lane. We waited for about 15 minutes and just as we got to the front of the line some crazy old bat with a giant red hat, scarf (it's 90 degrees but these people all wear scarves) and a walker comes and drops her biscotti down in front of us and starts unloading her cart. Her husband comes rolling up with a giant cart overflowing with stuff. I enjoy physical violence and I am not above performing some choice brutality on the elderly or infirm, but my wife looked like she was going to garotte this woman with her own scarf until the check-out girl pointed up at the sign. The supermarket has a handicapped lane! Smoooooth.

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Pain in the arse moments in life.

You pick the wrong toll booth line, you lick the grocery line with the 'trainee' etc etc

Any more of these , Oh Damn moments?

1. I use ezpass

2. I use self checkouts and shop odd hours to avoid all human interaction since all people are stupid when they are shopping. I blame it on the laser at the entrance door that opens the door for you... it also zaps you into stupid mode. Cause there is no way people are really that f###ing retarded in real life.

What bothers me the most? Foreigners or "special people" on the drive thru intercom or in any position of customer service or interaction. Nothing turns me off of a place more than people who cant speak the language well enough. I know theyre trying, but I need my 2 mother f##king egg mcmuffins, and I need them now without them making mistakes.

Oh... and what else bothers me is ordering a bagel with cream cheese from Dunkin Donuts and the asshats give me a tub 'o cream cheese to put on myself! Im using a drive thru! Put the god damn cream cheese on it for me dummies! If I wanted to put my own mother f###king cream cheese, I'd do it at home!

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We're on vacation, on our way back to the cottage from a trip into town. It's 10pm.

I tell my wife I just need to run into walmart and grab a bag of fish hooks (they had the exact color/size I needed).

This should take 1min to grab, and 1.5min to check out.

1.) The self-checkouts are closed.

2.) Only 1 lane is open.

3.) I get in line, not noticing the "people of walmart" ahead of me.

The guy in front has 4 6packs of Mountain Dew. He's debating with the cashier about how one of the ($2) 6-packs should have been free or discounted. She's waiting for some guy to check the aisle/price and come back. He won't come back. 10+ minutes pass and she hasn't called a manager.

The couple behind Mr. Moneybags is great. He's 18, hat backward, sporting the "wish I was black" look. His chubby 16yr old girliefriend is all over him, so close you can't see that her brown muscle shirt used to be white. All their squeezing tells you they can't wait to get their beef jerkey and head back to the trailer. Did I mention she was about 8mo pregnant?

A manager made eye contact with me, noticed my pain and headed toward the next checkout lane. I slid over and got out.

20min.

At least the baits worked well.

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The Verrazano Bridge toll booth. Years ago for various reasons beyong my control, I did not have EZ Pass. (Lost my transmitter, EZ Pass took forever to replace). Had to wait in the cash line on a daily basis for almost 3 weeks. It's mind blowing to me how willing people are to sit in a line for an hour and happily let some DB come speeding up the EZ pass lane and cut right in front of them. Without these DB's I might legitimately be waiting for 15 minutes. I am nearing the toll plaza finally and some bald headed dooshy in a convertible Miata literally pushes his nose in the 2 inches of space I left between my Explorer and the car in front of me. I suddenly realized my breaking point at that moment. As I am frothing from the mouth cursing him out, I told the guy to back that &^*&ing thing up out of my way or I was going to rip his eyeballs out and give him a good look at the inside of his colon. I apparently put a dent in my own door from slamming it so many times while screaming at him. He did back up though. Can't say I've ever lost it like that before or after that fine evening. Something about sitting on the Belt parkway from JFK only to then have to deal with the SIE to get to NJ for 2 months straight brings out the worst in a person. One time it took me 6 hours to get home because it was .....RAINING!

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The Verrazano Bridge toll booth. Years ago for various reasons beyong my control, I did not have EZ Pass. (Lost my transmitter, EZ Pass took forever to replace). Had to wait in the cash line on a daily basis for almost 3 weeks. It's mind blowing to me how willing people are to sit in a line for an hour and happily let some DB come speeding up the EZ pass lane and cut right in front of them. Without these DB's I might legitimately be waiting for 15 minutes. I am nearing the toll plaza finally and some bald headed dooshy in a convertible Miata literally pushes his nose in the 2 inches of space I left between my Explorer and the car in front of me. I suddenly realized my breaking point at that moment. As I am frothing from the mouth cursing him out, I told the guy to back that &^*&ing thing up out of my way or I was going to rip his eyeballs out and give him a good look at the inside of his colon. I apparently put a dent in my own door from slamming it so many times while screaming at him. He did back up though. Can't say I've ever lost it like that before or after that fine evening. Something about sitting on the Belt parkway from JFK only to then have to deal with the SIE to get to NJ for 2 months straight brings out the worst in a person. One time it took me 6 hours to get home because it was .....RAINING!

biggrin.gif

great story

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