Office worker accused of ejaculating into colleague’s drink

[Lil Bit Special]

http://swns.com/office-worker-accused-of-ejaculating-into-colleagues-drink-181304.html

An office worker has been charged with twice ejaculating into a female colleague’s bottle of water – which she later DRANK. Michael Kevin Lallana faces two counts of ‘releasing an offensive material’ in a public place and assault for sexual gratification. The first alleged offence is said to have happened in January at the offices of the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in Newport Beach, California.

Lallana, 31, is accused of entering the victim’s office and masturbating into a bottle on her desk, which she later drank unaware that it had been contaminated. Police say she felt ‘’sickened and irritated” and threw the water away. Lallana is alleged to have repeated the offence in April at the company’s Orange branch, which they had both recently been transferred to. But this time the victim, aged in her 20s, sent the bottle off to a private lab to be tested after drinking it. The results showed the water had been contaminated with semen, it is claimed.

Lallana’s DNA was linked to the crime and he was arrested outside his home in Fullerton by officers from Orange Police Department. If found guilty, he could be jailed for three years. The defendant has been released on a $500 (USD) bond and is due in court on September 14.

[Lil Bit Special]

Amateur.

Lesson here kiddies: If your going to ejaculate into a co-workers beverage, DONT EJACULATE IN A COLORLESS, TASTELESS BEVERAGE! Always choose something where the taste and color of said ejaculate is undetectable.

[Vudu]

:rl:

[JerryK]

The original post left out the final sentence:

"During the arrest, the suspect kept repeating a cryptic message: 'Enjoy your tea, Jetsfan80...'. Police are trying to uncover its meaning."

[SenorGato]

Call 80 and tell him to get that guy fired.

[Wolf On Wolf Anal]

Hey give the guy credit for being able to ejaculate twice in one calander year,

[Jetsfan80]

Call 80 and tell him to get that guy fired.

My help is not needed here. The police handled this one. Good job boys.

[jgb]

she sounds like a keeper - obviously she is familiar enough with the taste to be suspicious

[Fishooked]

she sounds like a keeper - obviously she is familiar enough with the taste to be suspicious

It really does seem like they make up these laws as they go along.... "releasing an offensive material" ? Does that mean you can get arrested if you fart in public?

[JerryK]

It really does seem like they make up these laws as they go along.... "releasing an offensive material" ? Does that mean you can get arrested if you fart in public?

Other than a charge of 'streaking', farts are exempt. There shouldn't be 'material' unless you're naked and don't wipe.

And then you'd have indecent exposure to charge them with.

[JustInFudge]

Amateur.

Lesson here kiddies: If your going to ejaculate into a co-workers beverage, DONT EJACULATE IN A COLORLESS, TASTELESS BEVERAGE! Always choose something where the taste and color of said ejaculate is undetectable.

Especially in Dr. Pepper...there is already 23 flavors. And if she complains it was creamy, you can always say you made her a Dr. Pepper float.

[jgb]

It really does seem like they make up these laws as they go along.... "releasing an offensive material" ? Does that mean you can get arrested if you fart in public?

getting arrested for farting would be the ultimate badge on honor.

[Thor99]

Hey give the guy credit for being able to ejaculate twice in one calander year,

It's gotta be tough to masturbate with paws. On the upside, you can lick yourself.

Actually now that I think about it, you win.

[visajets]

Sad story on all angles. The guys penis is small enough to fit in a water bottle.