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Priceless Phins rant from some Dolphin site


AFJF

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I read this and it reminded me of the GJ&H rant at JI when Penny went down vs. the Giants. Funny stuff.

**** this ******* team.

**** the bullsh*t hold it's had on me since I was a child, teasing me with promises of happiness and elation, only to rip my ******* heart out again and again and again.

**** you, Dolphins.

**** your traditions and your heritage. That sh*t died eons ago.

**** your sh*tty stadium with its sh*tty art deco post modernistic bullsh*t decor. It's a ******* football stadium, not the inside of a ******* Little Havana hair salon.

**** you, Stephen Ross. You shrunken headed goblin faced ****. **** your ideas to make this a glitzy team. Nobody ******* cares, you cock. **** your night clubs and your bullsh*t orange carpets and your bullsh*t celebrities. You've turned this franchise into the ******* Titanic. Just because you grew up not being invited to sit at the cool kids' table at Beach High doesn't give you the ******* right to utterly ruin my ******* football team with parties featuring hackneyed celebrities who haven't been ******* relevant since the Clinton administration, and who never had any ******* talent to begin with.

**** the ******* dipsh*ts who actually attend these clubs during games. **** your bullsh*t "look at me" faces and your steroid infused bodies and your botoxed faces and your disproportionate fake t!ts with the nipples pointing in different ******* directions. **** your waxed chests and your Ed Hardy t-shirts, swinging your tiny dicks in my ******* stadium. You're not fooling anybody, ass****s. You're all worthless little ******* people and you ******* know that sh*t deep down in your dark ******* soulless hearts. Get the **** out of my city.

**** you, Bill Parcells. You wanna ******* bail? Bail. You overrated potato shaped stack of equine sh*t. **** your New York Giants Super Bowls and the reputation you garnered on someone else's hard work. **** your old school mentality. Oh I don't talk to reporters, they bother me. ****. You. Man the **** up. Take some responsibility. **** your golf cart and your ******* race horses. I hope they ******* die in a fire. **** your absolute refusal to draft play makers and instead going with the tried and true formula of drafting giant statues with no ******* speed and no discernible football IQ what so ******* ever. Your ******* son-in-law is one hundred times the personnel guy you'll ever be. For their sake, I hope to ******* Christ your grandkids inherited his genes and not yours, you worthless ****sack. Go away and waste another franchise's draft by drafting the next Drew ******* Bledsoe.

**** you, Tony Sparano. You're on ******* notice. The honeymoon is over. Take off those ******* shades and get to ******* work. You ******* Parcells lackey. I'm sick and ******* tired of your in-game brain cramps that ruin our ******* seasons time and time again. At this point, you're no better than Cam or Nick or any other **** face not named Shula to walk through those ******* doors. Fire that worthless sh*tstick of a special teams coach right the **** now. Fix this sh*t. To-*******-day, or we'll ship your a$$ back to ******* West Haven where you can slowly die of boredom because what the **** else is there to do in Connecticut.

**** you, Jeff Ireland. You Napoleon-complex ginger ****. Your one accomplishment in life is when you asked a college player if his mother was a ******* hooker. Is your Mom a ******* hooker? **** your bullsh*t philosophies. **** your complete and utter ******* lack of understanding that ******* players get ******* hurt. **** your decisions to put Will Allen on IR or let Matt Roth go. We sure as ******* sh*tfire can use those two ****ers right about now. **** your draft system. It's not a system, you ******* midget. It's an art. You draft play makers, not numbers and color coded charts. **** you.

**** you, Chad Henne. **** your underachieving overrated robotic ******* a$$. I am sick and ******* tired of defending you. **** your complete inability to evolve as a ******* quarterback, you ******* robot cockrocket. You've been staring down receivers since you were ******* conceived, you giant mental ward haircutted a$$hole. Big arm? **** you. Quick release? **** you. Learn how to read a ******* defense. Is looking off a safety now and again that ******* difficult to comprehend? You ******* waste of another ******* draft pick on another worthless piece of sh*t good-for-nothing-but-soul-crushing-interceptions quarterback.

**** you Dolphins. **** this franchise and its inability to find people who know what the **** they're doing. I swear to Shiva I can ******* turn this worthless sh*t of a team around in two years and make them a contender. In two ******* years. **** this team. Take Vontae, Jake Long, Cam Wake and The Beast and tear this sh*t down and build it back up from scratch. Let the fires rage and purify this ******* thing.

Of course, it will never happen. We will never get better. Never rise above the middling sh*t soup. We'll just keep sucking dick until the sun burns out.

**** me for always coming back.

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Honestly that was nicest thing I think I've read in a long time. I got all warm and fuzzy reading this. Nothing makes me happier then watching the Dolphin ship sink. I'd love to throw y'all a life jacket but I got better things to do, watching you drown makes me happy.

*kicks feet up*

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It appears that Dolphins fans may be beginning to lose patience with their team.

nah. just the same clown proportion every team has. i'm sure if i dug up some old jets threads here i could find similar. the worst are twenty somethings. feel sorry for them. they've had a bad decade which for them is almost their entire fandom and simply don't have the patience to wait for all the pieces to be put in place. the majority of fans are happy with the team though not monday's special teams meltdown. we arent looking for a superbowl this year, just the playoffs. even if we fail to make the playoffs we feel confident that with one more offseason all the pieces will be in place for us to make our own noise and seriously challenge. we are a young team and with that come certain growing pains like monday's game.

but the talent is there and with experience will only get better

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nah. just the same clown proportion every team has. i'm sure if i dug up some old jets threads here i could find similar. the worst are twenty somethings. feel sorry for them. they've had a bad decade which for them is almost their entire fandom and simply don't have the patience to wait for all the pieces to be put in place. the majority of fans are happy with the team though not monday's special teams meltdown. we arent looking for a superbowl this year, just the playoffs. even if we fail to make the playoffs we feel confident that with one more offseason all the pieces will be in place for us to make our own noise and seriously challenge. we are a young team and with that come certain growing pains like monday's game.

but the talent is there and with experience will only get better

You've got to be kidding me with this. With the way Miami fans were talking after week 2, the Dolphins were headed to the Super Bowl with ease. Now, after what was supposed to be a quality draft and with the additions of Brandon Marshall and Karlos Dansby, you're really going to sit there and tell us that missing the playoffs is OK? Just when is Miami supposed to get its sh** together if its not 2010?

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**** your sh*tty stadium with its sh*tty art deco post modernistic bullsh*t decor. It's a ******* football stadium, not the inside of a ******* Little Havana hair salon.

Do you know how hard it was explaining why this was funny to my co workers. Let alone why I was reading this in the first place.

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You've got to be kidding me with this. With the way Miami fans were talking after week 2, the Dolphins were headed to the Super Bowl with ease. Now, after what was supposed to be a quality draft and with the additions of Brandon Marshall and Karlos Dansby, you're really going to sit there and tell us that missing the playoffs is OK? Just when is Miami supposed to get its sh** together if its not 2010?

its all about the ring. i think we should be in the playoffs this year. i think its a failure if we're not but its not like i expect a super bowl this year. we're just shooting ourselves in the foot the last couple of games similar to what dallas did the first two weeks. we're 2-2. i am not worried about the team. we'll bounce back.

can you seriously say miami fans expected a super bowl? i mean i post on a dolphins message board and i havent seen one

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You've got to be kidding me with this. With the way Miami fans were talking after week 2, the Dolphins were headed to the Super Bowl with ease. Now, after what was supposed to be a quality draft and with the additions of Brandon Marshall and Karlos Dansby, you're really going to sit there and tell us that missing the playoffs is OK? Just when is Miami supposed to get its sh** together if its not 2010?

To be fair most of our fanbase is the same. We were Super Bowl bound before Week 1, and after that Sanchez was a scrub and the Jets sucked. Now everyone pretends they always loved Sanchez and knew this offense would be good all along. Before all you ever heard was "ground and pound" offense and great defense, with the offense and Sanchez just staying out of the way.

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its all about the ring. i think we should be in the playoffs this year. i think its a failure if we're not but its not like i expect a super bowl this year. we're just shooting ourselves in the foot the last couple of games similar to what dallas did the first two weeks. we're 2-2. i am not worried about the team. we'll bounce back.

Just when will the Dolphins "bounce back". December?

@ Green Bay

vs. Pittsburgh

@ Cincy

@ Baltimore

vs. Tennessee

vs. Chicago

To be fair most of our fanbase is the same. We were Super Bowl bound before Week 1, and after that Sanchez was a scrub and the Jets sucked. Now everyone pretends they always loved Sanchez and knew this offense would be good all along. Before all you ever heard was "ground and pound" offense and great defense, with the offense and Sanchez just staying out of the way.

Difference is, immediately after that 1st game when I should have been the most angry, I said to myself "its just 1 game".

4 games in, and the Jets look great and the Dolphins look awful. The Jets are 3-0 in the division and Miami is 1-2, with road games against NE and the Jets later on. Big difference.

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nah. just the same clown proportion every team has. i'm sure if i dug up some old jets threads here i could find similar. the worst are twenty somethings. feel sorry for them. they've had a bad decade which for them is almost their entire fandom and simply don't have the patience to wait for all the pieces to be put in place. the majority of fans are happy with the team though not monday's special teams meltdown. we arent looking for a superbowl this year, just the playoffs. even if we fail to make the playoffs we feel confident that with one more offseason all the pieces will be in place for us to make our own noise and seriously challenge. we are a young team and with that come certain growing pains like monday's game.

but the talent is there and with experience will only get better

Yes. Our very own Klacko had a similar one on a Pas website awhile back.

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