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Woodhead: He's no Daaahhkie.


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(catches something out of the corner of his eye)

What was that?

(looks again)


(buys 37 Woodhead jerseys for his 37 siblings)

(“Dream Weaver” plays in Tommy’s head)

(rainbows shoot from Woodhead’s a$$hole)

DANNY WOODHEAD IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHAWT IN THE AHHHHHM THIS GREATRIOT TEAM NEEDS! HE IS OW-AH FOOTBAWLL PEDROIAH! I can feel it! I always know a playah is special when I know I’ll tell my grandkid that I gawt to wawtch him compete! THAT IS DANNY WOODHEAD! I dunno. There-ah is something about this kid that’s special! I can’t put my finger awn it!

Oh yeah. I know. HE’S NO DAHHHKIE!

Finally, a great white running back to cawll ow-ah own! WE DESERVE THIS AFTAH WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CELTICS! Danny Woodhead is a folk hero! A legend! ONLY IN BAWSTON COULD HIS STORY BE TOLD!

(would never say the same thing about Kenneth Darby)

I always thawt Welkah was ow-ah non-dahkie Troy Brown. And now, finally, we have TWO non-dahkie Troy Browns! That is just the kind of great chemistry this team needs! You do NAWT win championships with selfish dahkie wideouts. You can only win titles with GRIT and SCRAPPINESS and awll of the qualities of Bawston you saw while wawtching THE TOWN! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

That's some funny stuff.

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