djaparz Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 LITTLE TONY ON MATH A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking." LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2) Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ******* difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!" LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" TONY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful." Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob." LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR Little TON Y was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger t!ts, you'd be a TEN!" LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ******* beautiful!'" LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f-king business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PFSIKH Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Good ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenjetsfan Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? BECAUSE my math teacher POSTS on JETNATION all day! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenjetsfan Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Little Tommy's Mom picks Tommy up from school and her car is TOTALED. Little Tommy says, "Mom, what happened to the car? It's a mess." Little Tommy's Mom replies: I was posting on JN while I was driving and wasn't paying attention to the 18-wheeler that was coming in the opposite direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? BECAUSE my math teacher POSTS on JETNATION all day! :wink: Hmmmmm, wonder who could you be talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djaparz Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 its a mystery to me - lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 god can you believe that there is an educational professional who posts on a football board during the day???? someone report her !!! and another one who posts while driving? isn' there a law against that?? by the way who are we talking about??? come on guys spill it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenjetsfan Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 please give me an A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenjetsfan Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 its only a law in Jersey..NO CELL phones..I have not seen no LAP tops while driving....unless LIMO has seen them while heading to the MTS. in PA!!! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djaparz Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 i am always down for staying after class for Extra Credit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gang Green Girl Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 i am always down for staying after class for Extra Credit Watch it, dj, or you'll be serving detention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djaparz Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 Watch it, dj, or you'll be serving detention. Is that a PROMISE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 god can you believe that there is an educational professional who posts on a football board during the day???? someone report her !!! and another one who posts while driving? isn' there a law against that?? by the way who are we talking about??? come on guys spill it.. GreenGal, i'd like you to meet mirror. Mirror...GreenGal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 GreenGal, i'd like you to meet mirror. Mirror...GreenGal. me????? LOL.. really???? that is soooo funny!!! i thought you were talking about another middle school math teacher who posts on here!! LOL...you guys just slay me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verde Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 me????? LOL.. really???? that is soooo funny!!! i thought you were talking about another middle school math teacher who posts on here!! LOL...you guys just slay me Smart Ass! Oh, sorry...that quote has already been taken (several thousand times! :twisted: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bergen Jet Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 I take personal offense to the insinuation that greengal posts on a football message board while she is teaching the future of our great nation. I mean, it is true... but I still take offense to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 I take personal offense to the insinuation that greengal posts on a football message board while she is teaching the future of our great nation. I mean, it is true... but I still take offense to it. i offend you?? :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bergen Jet Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 i offend you?? :wink: You can offend me anytime dear, anytime... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 I take personal offense to the insinuation that greengal posts on a football message board while she is teaching the future of our great nation. I mean, it is true... but I still take offense to it. She's a maths teacher. You know how maths teachers are more concerned with trying to take over the world, than actually teaching kids. It's just a front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 She's a maths teacher. You know how maths teachers are more concerned with trying to take over the world, than actually teaching kids. It's just a front.[/quote] damn damn damn i am foiled!! how did you know PDM? ALL my plans!!! OY!!! I might have to get rid of you PDM... I will not be stopped!! :twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 damn damn damn i am foiled!! how did you know PDM? ALL my plans!!! OY!!! I might have to get rid of you PDM... I will not be stopped!! :twisted: That's what they all say, just before they get carted off to the local looney bin..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 That's what they all say, just before they get carted off to the local looney bin..... so you think... i have all those places on retainer ... you shouldn't have messed with me ... the plan already is in motion ... :twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatsFanTX Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Greengal's Math Class Before each math lesson, gg challenges her class on vocabulary use. On this day, gg asked her students who can use the word "contagious" in a sentence. Mary raised her hand and said "Mumps are contagious". Very good said gg, would anybody else like to try? Little Johnny (who gg boinks between classes in the AV room) raised his hand and said, "Our next door neighbor was painting her house all by herself and my dad said it would take the contagious." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 PatsFanTX Afternoon Routine Today we find Tx in his usual place in his basement on his COMMODORE Pet computer ..he yells up to his mom.. "make me a bologna sandwich i am hungry" mom comes down with his food, some bugles and a glass of tang and tells her little tx, "i will not buy you another erik estrada poster..you have them all" She picks up his dirty socks lying on the floor besides him, sighs and returns upstairs..Tx looks at his CHIPS posters that adorn his basement hideaway and starts to moan,..he stops playing pong on his computer... closes the door, locks it ...gets out the Erik Estrada doll... and has some private time... in tomorrow's episode... Tx is served a restraining order from the local pet store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djaparz Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 is that because he bouth them out of all there gerbels???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.