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Cyber Bullying


Jetman_67

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Those who are friends with me on Facebook know my step daughter was a victim of Cyber Bullying. When it happened we were told that nothing can be done because they are kids. We didnt find that answer acceptable, and just because kids 12 years old were never charged for hacking someones facebook and soliciting sex doesnt mean it cant be done.

We were also told it cant be done when we petitioned the court of a no contact order because of their ages.

A month and a half later one of the Girls was arraigned yesterday for cyber Bullying and Computer Trespass in the first degree and the other who is 11 has a competency hearing next week to see if she understands she did something wrong before she can be arraigned. We also won the case for No contact orders yesterday.

Never say it cant be done!!!

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Sorry to hear you had to go thru that. Gotta be annoying to have your kids see you struggle for justice.

I'm a wuss, but I know you're not. Aren't you tempted to go open a can of 'jetman' on their parent's asses?

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Those who are friends with me on Facebook know my step daughter was a victim of Cyber Bullying. When it happened we were told that nothing can be done because they are kids. We didnt find that answer acceptable, and just because kids 12 years old were never charged for hacking someones facebook and soliciting sex doesnt mean it cant be done.

We were also told it cant be done when we petitioned the court of a no contact order because of their ages.

A month and a half later one of the Girls was arraigned yesterday for cyber Bullying and Computer Trespass in the first degree and the other who is 11 has a competency hearing next week to see if she understands she did something wrong before she can be arraigned. We also won the case for No contact orders yesterday.

Never say it cant be done!!!

With all due respect... What the hell are 11 and 12 year old's doing on Facebook in the first place? Buy them a damn Bicycle or a swing set.

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Those who are friends with me on Facebook know my step daughter was a victim of Cyber Bullying. When it happened we were told that nothing can be done because they are kids. We didnt find that answer acceptable, and just because kids 12 years old were never charged for hacking someones facebook and soliciting sex doesnt mean it cant be done.

We were also told it cant be done when we petitioned the court of a no contact order because of their ages.

A month and a half later one of the Girls was arraigned yesterday for cyber Bullying and Computer Trespass in the first degree and the other who is 11 has a competency hearing next week to see if she understands she did something wrong before she can be arraigned. We also won the case for No contact orders yesterday.

Never say it cant be done!!!

This is ironic because I am pretty sure you were one of the first cyber bullies ever. But I am glad you guys are getting justice. That stuff can be really bad.

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This is ironic because I am pretty sure you were one of the first cyber bullies ever. But I am glad you guys are getting justice. That stuff can be really bad.

It can be bad and is bad. The level of humiliation is so much worse. Too many kids have taken their own lives over this. The problem is also, its almost impossible to do something about it in the courts.

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With all due respect... What the hell are 11 and 12 year old's doing on Facebook in the first place? Buy them a damn Bicycle or a swing set.

THIS

LOL at cyber bullying. Like do kids really take that crap to heart? It's just the internet. Chances are if someone hacked your facebook page it's because you clicked on a pop up or something and got your password stolen or left your account logged in on another computer. If you are seriously pursuing legal action against an 11 year old for hacking a 12 year olds facebook page and putting inappropriate things up then I feel sorry for you. Kids will be kids. Talk to the parents, don't take em to court for that! C'MON MAN! Everyone's so quick to throw a lawsuit around these days. Cyber bullies. That concept makes me laugh. Everyone's a bully on the internet. Your step daughter will get over it, it's not a big deal (unless there's more to it than that, but then it wouldn't be cyber).

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THIS

LOL at cyber bullying. Like do kids really take that crap to heart? It's just the internet. Chances are if someone hacked your facebook page it's because you clicked on a pop up or something and got your password stolen or left your account logged in on another computer. If you are seriously pursuing legal action against an 11 year old for hacking a 12 year olds facebook page and putting inappropriate things up then I feel sorry for you. Kids will be kids. Talk to the parents, don't take em to court for that! C'MON MAN! Everyone's so quick to throw a lawsuit around these days. Cyber bullies. That concept makes me laugh. Everyone's a bully on the internet. Your step daughter will get over it, it's not a big deal (unless there's more to it than that, but then it wouldn't be cyber).

kids kill themsleves over it. I've seen adults have meltdowns on message baords, and that's from getting mild hazing from total strangers. when everyone in your class, and on your bus knows you were called a #*#@$*! on facebook, it's humiliating in the real world as well. girls are really cruel, and they base their self esteem on social acceptance at young ages, so it can be devastating.

I grew up in the 70's, and I was bullied. one day I ran in to mom, and she turned me around and sent me back outside and told me not to come in until I fought back. I wound up bloodying that kid. classic bully story. the only kids that knew about that were me and the bully. the problem with cyber bullying is it must feel like the whole world is in on your shame

if the bully has an anonymous user name, I would think you need to go to court to get the IP adress from the website ?

it's more complicated than talk to the parents. heck, the parents are usually the reason the kid is a bully in the first place

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THIS

LOL at cyber bullying. Like do kids really take that crap to heart? It's just the internet. Chances are if someone hacked your facebook page it's because you clicked on a pop up or something and got your password stolen or left your account logged in on another computer. If you are seriously pursuing legal action against an 11 year old for hacking a 12 year olds facebook page and putting inappropriate things up then I feel sorry for you. Kids will be kids. Talk to the parents, don't take em to court for that! C'MON MAN! Everyone's so quick to throw a lawsuit around these days. Cyber bullies. That concept makes me laugh. Everyone's a bully on the internet. Your step daughter will get over it, it's not a big deal (unless there's more to it than that, but then it wouldn't be cyber).

I was actually googling examples of cyberbullying and came across the trial the thread starter was talking about. Needless to say, what they had put up is beyond "kids being kids" and deserves some form of punishment, if only to make sure it never happens again. Do you really think that bullying (of the physical or cyber kind) has no psychological impact on children? It has led to suicide on multiple occasions in the past, and who knows what other problems it might have caused for the victims?

Keep in mind we're talking about 11 and 12 year old girls--do all girls of that age fully understand the internet? No. And parents need to do what they can to protect them from it.

(This is all coming from the guy that started posting here at age 12, lol)

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THIS

LOL at cyber bullying. Like do kids really take that crap to heart? It's just the internet. Chances are if someone hacked your facebook page it's because you clicked on a pop up or something and got your password stolen or left your account logged in on another computer. If you are seriously pursuing legal action against an 11 year old for hacking a 12 year olds facebook page and putting inappropriate things up then I feel sorry for you. Kids will be kids. Talk to the parents, don't take em to court for that! C'MON MAN! Everyone's so quick to throw a lawsuit around these days. Cyber bullies. That concept makes me laugh. Everyone's a bully on the internet. Your step daughter will get over it, it's not a big deal (unless there's more to it than that, but then it wouldn't be cyber).

You do bring up a good point. Other methods of bullying often lead to cyber bullying, which is a crime. The 2 girls were charged with a Felony known as Computer Trespass in the first degree.

Cyber bullying is bad because its humiliating and a lot of people see it.

Oh yeah, its hard to talk to the parents when they are doped up on pills all the time.

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I was actually googling examples of cyberbullying and came across the trial the thread starter was talking about. Needless to say, what they had put up is beyond "kids being kids" and deserves some form of punishment, if only to make sure it never happens again. Do you really think that bullying (of the physical or cyber kind) has no psychological impact on children? It has led to suicide on multiple occasions in the past, and who knows what other problems it might have caused for the victims?

Keep in mind we're talking about 11 and 12 year old girls--do all girls of that age fully understand the internet? No. And parents need to do what they can to protect them from it.

(This is all coming from the guy that started posting here at age 12, lol)

THIS

No 11 or 12 year old kid needs to be on Facebook. They need to be outside playing, at band practice, at martial arts or enjoying a beverage and a sandwich with Dad at a Deli. Parents need to get the Net Nanny thing and keep them off that crap.

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Bullying has always been a factor in teen suicides. Its nothing new. Only thing new about it is its online now for more people to be aware of it.

Is it good there is more attention paid to bullying? Yes.

Is there too much media attention about it? Yes. But if it helps wake up parents, then its worth it.

Best thing we can do as adults is to teach our children to talk to us about it so we can help them deal with it. We need to be vigilant and know what is going on in our kids lives. Bullying happens at all ages, not just teens.

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Always wonder how good are the parenting skills of people whose children are bullies ?

My theory is it's a lack of self esteem and an outward projection of that. They don;t feel good about themselves so they want to make others feel worse and gain some sort of elevation of self worth from it. So yeah I would assume their parents are either ****ed up themselves or not very involved in their kids life.

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Bullying has always been a factor in teen suicides. Its nothing new. Only thing new about it is its online now for more people to be aware of it.

Is it good there is more attention paid to bullying? Yes.

Is there too much media attention about it? Yes. But if it helps wake up parents, then its worth it.

Best thing we can do as adults is to teach our children to talk to us about it so we can help them deal with it. We need to be vigilant and know what is going on in our kids lives. Bullying happens at all ages, not just teens.

Agreed, and we do that, always have. These kids are savvy. when they hacked her account, they blocked all family members so we didnt see what was happening. The victim was also out with her mom while it was going on.

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kids kill themsleves over it. I've seen adults have meltdowns on message baords, and that's from getting mild hazing from total strangers. when everyone in your class, and on your bus knows you were called a #*#@$*! on facebook, it's humiliating in the real world as well. girls are really cruel, and they base their self esteem on social acceptance at young ages, so it can be devastating.

I grew up in the 70's, and I was bullied. one day I ran in to mom, and she turned me around and sent me back outside and told me not to come in until I fought back. I wound up bloodying that kid. classic bully story. the only kids that knew about that were me and the bully. the problem with cyber bullying is it must feel like the whole world is in on your shame

if the bully has an anonymous user name, I would think you need to go to court to get the IP adress from the website ?

it's more complicated than talk to the parents. heck, the parents are usually the reason the kid is a bully in the first place

Kids kill themselves over everything these days. It's petty drama bs and that's it. It shouldn't happen, but the suicide isn't usually just from being bullied, its because they have a psychological problem and can't handle reality. A 12 year old who got hacked will usually get over it within a couple weeks. Take back the account, fix what happened and send a message to everyone saying that you got hacked. Pretty simple, actually, most people aren't stupid enough to think that was real. I can't count the amount of times my friends have messed with my facebook account or put up some silly homosexual nonsense. Nobody cares. They laugh and move on. It's not like she'll lose all her friends because of something as silly as that. They're just kids. Bad stuff happens and you need to teach them how to deal with it. The real world is not all flowers and cupcakes. Talk to the parents, talk to the school, talk to other parents. If the parents are on drugs or negligent, call child abuse. No parent should be raising their kids while taking heroine or whatever it is.

If you did what you did in the 70s, today, the bully would probably take you to court and that's just sad.

I was actually googling examples of cyberbullying and came across the trial the thread starter was talking about. Needless to say, what they had put up is beyond "kids being kids" and deserves some form of punishment, if only to make sure it never happens again. Do you really think that bullying (of the physical or cyber kind) has no psychological impact on children? It has led to suicide on multiple occasions in the past, and who knows what other problems it might have caused for the victims?

They deserve punishment yes, but taking them to court is silly. What are you gonna sue the parents for a million dollars and it will make everything go away? Kids need to be taught about the dangers of the internet and how to stay secure and protected. I wish I could sue everyone on the internet who's made fun of me. For the most part, when kids are bullied they get over it. If they have pre existing mental conditions they might not. It's not directly the bully that causes the suicides, it's the person who does it. If it wasn't the bully, it would be some other excuse as to why the world hates them. Parents need to teach them about what really matters in life. Any sane person will not kill themselves over something that stupid.

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If the parents are on drugs or negligent, call child abuse. No parent should be raising their kids while taking heroine or whatever it is.

What exactly do you expect "child abuse" to do? Our legal system does not consider drug using/alcoholic parent a danger to a child and they most certainly will not take that child away. You watch way too much tv if you think they do. DYFS/ CPS, etc.. will only step in if they feel the child's life is literally in danger or is physically/sexually abused. They wouldn't even take the child from one neglectful parent and give custody to a willing and clearly competent and clean parent in the above situation. Trust me, I know.

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Kids kill themselves over everything these days. It's petty drama bs and that's it. It shouldn't happen, but the suicide isn't usually just from being bullied, its because they have a psychological problem and can't handle reality. A 12 year old who got hacked will usually get over it within a couple weeks. Take back the account, fix what happened and send a message to everyone saying that you got hacked. Pretty simple, actually, most people aren't stupid enough to think that was real.

You would seem to have no idea just how evil kids can be, especially girls at that age, and how deeply it can effect kids and their relationships for a long time.

Simple isn't always easy.

My daughter's a smart, tough kid, but when a bunch of girls in her school passed around and signed a petition to not be her friend anymore one week in middle school, it was devastating to her. She's 18 now, and still talks about how absolutely rotten that was. I wanted to strangle every one of those bitches. The use of the internet just gets it out there faster, to more people, and lets the real chickensh*ts post their bile anonymously. It's extremely ugly.

If prosecutions or lawsuits help make that kind of thing stop, I'm all for them. Because you're right, this isn't the 70's anymore, and if you take matters like this into your own hands, you're the one who winds up getting arrested or sued.

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What exactly do you expect "child abuse" to do?

In Jersey, they evaluate the family and drug test the parents if there are suspicions of abuse or neglect. I deal with that agency all the time. They don't take it lightly.

Our legal system does not consider drug using/alcoholic parent a danger to a child and they most certainly will not take that child away. You watch way too much tv if you think they do.

Ummm, I work with them almost every day. You've gotta be kidding me posting a comment like that. Of course they care about parents taking drugs when there are issues with the child. They care a LOT. They have a contracted agency that is specifically for drug testing parents in child abuse cases. LOL at watching too much TV. I don't watch anything except sports these days.

DYFS/ CPS, etc.. will only step in if they feel the child's life is literally in danger or is physically/sexually abused. They wouldn't even take the child from one neglectful parent and give custody to a willing and clearly competent and clean parent in the above situation. Trust me, I know.

Obviously, yes, they step in when the child's life is in danger. That's whole point. To avoid situations like the one in Newark 6-7 years back where the children died. They don't take drug use lightly, especially hard drugs. I don't know when you are referring to but in the last 5 years or so they've cleaned up their act a lot. I'm aware they used to be terrible like that.

You would seem to have no idea just how evil kids can be, especially girls at that age, and how deeply it can effect kids and their relationships for a long time.

Evil? That's a bit extreme a word to use for someone that probably hacked a facebook page as a joke! Yeah, kids can be malicious at times, but that's kids. They care about drama and popularity over everything else.

My daughter's a smart, tough kid, but when a bunch of girls in her school passed around and signed a petition to not be her friend anymore one week in middle school, it was devastating to her. She's 18 now, and still talks about how absolutely rotten that was. I wanted to strangle every one of those bitches. The use of the internet just gets it out there faster, to more people, and lets the real chickensh*ts post their bile anonymously. It's extremely ugly.

LOL. How terribly devastating! How did she ever recover from that??? What a bad life she must have. Come on, that is silly stuff and if she still dwells on it 6 years later she's got some issues. I still remember fights from high school and whatnot, but it doesn't affect me. In fact nothing that ever happened in high school affects me today.

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LOL. How terribly devastating! How did she ever recover from that??? What a bad life she must have. Come on, that is silly stuff and if she still dwells on it 6 years later she's got some issues. I still remember fights from high school and whatnot, but it doesn't affect me. In fact nothing that ever happened in high school affects me today.

Was responding like a huge dick necessary?

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Evil? That's a bit extreme a word to use for someone that probably hacked a facebook page as a joke! Yeah, kids can be malicious at times, but that's kids. They care about drama and popularity over everything else.

Evil isn't a strong enough word to describe some of these packs of 12 year old girls.

You're clearly not a parent, and I hope you don't do anything important in regards to child services.

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LOL. How terribly devastating! How did she ever recover from that??? What a bad life she must have. Come on, that is silly stuff and if she still dwells on it 6 years later she's got some issues. I still remember fights from high school and whatnot, but it doesn't affect me. In fact nothing that ever happened in high school affects me today.

Being a teenager is devastating. It's the first time you go from the protection of being surrounded by loved ones to dealing with the insensitive cocksuckers of the world that get off on hurting other peoples feeling to make themselves feel better. The hardest thing to teach adolescent kids is how to care about people and have compassion but at the same time make them understand not everyone is like that. "Keep your hands up and your heart open" I tell the Crusher kids.

As a father of five ranging from 22 (this Sunday actually) to 9 I have seen all this stuff. We have been fortunate that most of what my eldest daughter went thru was very short lived and she learned from it. My fourteen year old boy gets picked on for being the largest kid in 8th grade. Never to his face but people make mean comments. Truth is he will have the last laugh but it's still not easy.

This is the age where every pimple, smell, blemish, clothes, sneaks and every other physical characteristic is views upon by kids that hate themselves as a way to bring someone down to their pathetic level. Some kids have the support network to deal with it but others internalize it and can;t escape it. The kids who have this need to victimize other kids would have probably been better served as condom fodder.

My initial point was I never thought 11 or 12 year old's should be on Facebook. I stick to that. But for you to just come one here and tell us how silly it is for kids to react to social pressure is hysterical considering most adults do so as well. Does it make them silly? No, I don;t think so. I think it makes them human. I would tell you you'll see one day when you have a kid of your own, but for now I think it's best you wear a condom and flush the results. they will probably thank you later.

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11-12 yr olds DO NOT BELONG ON FACEBOOK.... :angry:

This is easy to say, too, but what do the kids do? They just open an account using a different name. Even the most diligent parents on top of their own kids all of the time (which is tough enough) can't stop them from logging on at a friends house.

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This is easy to say, too, but what do the kids do? They just open an account using a different name. Even the most diligent parents on top of their own kids all of the time (which is tough enough) can't stop them from logging on at a friends house.

Heres a true story..........a buddy of mine buys his kids 2 apple laptops for Christmas ages 13 + 15 he tells them both boys NO PORN. So about a month ago unannounced tells the kids he needs to see there computers. He finds porn on the 15 yr olds. He takes the computer out to the driveway and runs it over with his SUV. Do you think the kid got the message?

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This is easy to say, too, but what do the kids do? They just open an account using a different name. Even the most diligent parents on top of their own kids all of the time (which is tough enough) can't stop them from logging on at a friends house.

I think you have to go with protection over abstinence. Wait, we're not talking about sex here? Damn.

Prohibiting facebook will only increase the child's desire and curiosity to get a Facebook account, and may lead to them using it on the sly. But if you leave the option open and educate your kid about what may happen, it's probably a lot easier to deal with whatever problems may arise. It amounts to leaving the lines of communication open--if your children are comfortable communicating their feelings, both positive and negative, you're doing something right. They won't fall into any deep emotional distress if they know there is someone close and familiar to discuss their issues with.

You can let them use Facebook without it becoming a testing-grounds for their self-worth or a privacy concern by limiting their account's viewability (i.e. friends only), making them friend you as a parent, etc.

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This is easy to say, too, but what do the kids do? They just open an account using a different name. Even the most diligent parents on top of their own kids all of the time (which is tough enough) can't stop them from logging on at a friends house.

I don't let my kids go to a friends house. Everybody hangs out at Crushers crib. They do stuff like play horseshoes, bocce, pool, basketball or we grub out watch sports or play a board game. Other people houses suck, my house is about having fun and not doing stuff that makes life suck. I hate the computer for kids, only reason baby Crusher Facebooks cause he keeps up with his football crew and I watch it like a fat hawk. My Butter Bean.

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Heres a true story..........a buddy of mine buys his kids 2 apple laptops for Christmas ages 13 + 15 he tells them both boys NO PORN. So about a month ago unannounced tells the kids he needs to see there computers. He finds porn on the 15 yr olds. He takes the computer out to the driveway and runs it over with his SUV. Do you think the kid got the message?

All I see is a guy that wasted ~$1000. The kid will just start streaming porn, deleting his history or whatever to remain hidden. It's not like he will ever stop watching porn, he'll just be more careful about it. Especially after he's started with it, I don't think it's as easy to repress his sexuality. I guess it's better than trying to guilt-scare the kid out of doing it ala Christian schools.

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I think you have to go with protection over abstinence. Wait, we're not talking about sex here? Damn.

Prohibiting facebook will only increase the child's desire and curiosity to get a Facebook account, and may lead to them using it on the sly. But if you leave the option open and educate your kid about what may happen, it's probably a lot easier to deal with whatever problems may arise. It amounts to leaving the lines of communication open--if your children are comfortable communicating their feelings, both positive and negative, you're doing something right. They won't fall into any deep emotional distress if they know there is someone close and familiar to discuss their issues with.

You can let them use Facebook without it becoming a testing-grounds for their self-worth or a privacy concern by limiting their account's viewability (i.e. friends only), making them friend you as a parent, etc.

11 or 12 is too young. your like ou Jets Nation Jimmy Neutron Boy genius. Kids need to be kids.

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I think you have to go with protection over abstinence. Wait, we're not talking about sex here? Damn.

Prohibiting facebook will only increase the child's desire and curiosity to get a Facebook account, and may lead to them using it on the sly. But if you leave the option open and educate your kid about what may happen, it's probably a lot easier to deal with whatever problems may arise. It amounts to leaving the lines of communication open--if your children are comfortable communicating their feelings, both positive and negative, you're doing something right. They won't fall into any deep emotional distress if they know there is someone close and familiar to discuss their issues with.

You can let them use Facebook without it becoming a testing-grounds for their self-worth or a privacy concern by limiting their account's viewability (i.e. friends only), making them friend you as a parent, etc.

This has been my parenting strategy. I love reading The Crusher Way, but that wouldn't've worked for me. Kids can smell bullsh*t a mile away, and if I tried to be a tough guy parent from the onset, someone would've caught on.

So instead, I have two kids, 16 & 18, who tell me everything. I'm their friend on FB, I have the password to their accounts on the computer in my house, and I really don't think I have to worry about them too much. I know which kids use drugs, which ones are having sex, which one had an abortion, and I know my kids reactions to those kids. Is there stuff they're keeping from me? Probably a little bit. I'd be surprised if there wasn't, frankly. But I think I'm tuned in on the big issues, and they know that they can broach any subject with me without judgment.

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All I see is a guy that wasted ~$1000. The kid will just start streaming porn, deleting his history or whatever to remain hidden. It's not like he will ever stop watching porn, he'll just be more careful about it. Especially after he's started with it, I don't think it's as easy to repress his sexuality. I guess it's better than trying to guilt-scare the kid out of doing it ala Christian schools.

Lol, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Stupid kid doesn't take any lengths to hide his porn, and the stupid father destroys a perfectly good laptop.

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