The "Never Issue #81 Again" Edition of Post of the Week - February 28th, 2008

[GreenBeans]

So, I'm thinking that the #81 should be retired permanently by the Jets. I can't seem to recall anyone in the past decade that was any good wearing that cursed number. Give the next guy that wants #81 the #18 instead - it's cursed, obviously. Hasta Luego, JMac - best of luck "catching on" (pun intended) with your next team...

On to the nominations for this week...

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Originally Posted by Max

I don't get it. I feel guilty about having a small penis? I will be the first one to tell you my small penis causes me to feel many emotions. Usually sadness, anger and denial.

Guilt is one that usually doesn't make the list though.

Originally Posted by JetFanByMarriage

who cares how you feel!

(Editor's Note: So, Max, is the couch comfy?)

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Originally Posted by jetpower10

a retard can rhyme heh, rap dont take talent just gotta think of some bull**** an rhyme with it. unfortaunately rock country blues jazz an etc. take skill have to learn how to play an instrument and keep the rhythym. rap just some kid sittin on a comp ****n with some gay ass retro remix deal.

Originally Posted by kobe24jets

ya aint kno ****

u trippin son

i mean u trippin

rock is all bunch of faggest dudes wearin make up and singin about gay ****

rap takes skillz

any1 can dress like a tranny and cry in2 a mic

thats -realtalk-

(Editor's Note: That's -notenglish- I fear we, as a society, are doomed...)

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Topic: one gun, one bullet

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

who would you use it on?

i'd have to take out:

(no that's not steve carrell from 'little miss sunshine')

Originally Posted by joewilly

faba............& i'd make dang sure he wasn't standing sideways

(Editor's Note: Are you saying that faba is two dimensional? Cool....)

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Topic: worst hotel experience

Originally Posted by Bob

I was in a hotel in Alexandria, VA, just across the river from D.C., two summers ago with my wife and kids. It was over 100 degrees every day and never under 80 at night. On our third night there, the entire hotel lost power. No AC, no lights, sweltering heat. We didn't get a bit of sleep that night.

We could look out the window and see the Holiday Inn next door, all lit up and functional. I found my way down the stairs, through the parking garage to the front desk, where they asured me the lights would be on any minute, so we stuck it out. They never got the power back until 5 the next afternoon.

Originally Posted by Marko Cavka

Mustache trimmer short hotel electric. Bob lucky not get bill.

Originally Posted by Bob

I'll bet Marko can tell real horror stories about taking a limo to a hotel.

Originally Posted by Marko Cavka

Marko have to sign paper.

Not know what non-disclosure mean.

(Editor's Note: Non-disclosure means never having to say "I love you"...)

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Originally Posted by Thor99

I'm a big fan of the Pacific Rim.

Originally Posted by Kidhuman

Is that when a Samoan licks your ass?

(Editor's Note: "rim shot")

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Topic: This team is just a mess

Originally Posted by faba

the biggest question to me has to start a QB- is Clemens the answer? If no is the answer we are in worse shape than we thought.

Originally Posted by DonCorleone

KC played behind what could be one of the worst lines in football and not a proper environment to start in. Having said that, the fact that he came in last in qb rating, made some horrible head scratching decisions and way too many bad throws even on the rare occasions when he did have time makes me believe that he could possibly be an adequate backup at best. Also he is a Mangini type of guy....Way too small at that position. IMO, kellen is no answer.

(Editor's Note: Depends on the question. For example, what if the question was "Who is way too small at that position?". Well? See what I mean...)

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Topic: Bannings

Originally Posted by jetophile

Thor99 bans "Mrs. Bates"....

Mrs. Bates: ...Or do I have to tell her 'cause you don't have the guts, boy? Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?

Thor99: Shut up! Shut up!

Mrs. Bates: I am sorry boy, but you do manage to look ludicrous when you give me orders.

Thor99: Please, Mother!

Mrs. Bates: No! I will not hide in the fruit cellar. Ha! You think I'm fruity, huh? I'm staying right here. This is my room and no one will drag me out of it - least of all my big, bold son!

Thor99: Mother, please! It's just for a few days. Just for a few days so they won't find you.

Mrs. Bates: 'Just for a few days!' - In that dark, dank fruit cellar! No! You hid me there once, boy, and you won't do it again. Not ever again! Now get out! I told you to get out, boy.

Thor99: I'll ban you, Mother.

Mrs. Bates: Thor99! What do you think you're doing! Don't you touch me! Don't! Thor99! Put me down!

(Editor's Note: This is why I dig on jet-o so much - she and this post are both absolutely brilliant!)

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Topic: Will The Jets Go Gay

Originally Posted by Greenseed3

It'd be nice to get a player/moderater on this forum.

(Editor's Note: ...but we certainly do not want a view from "the inside"...)

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Topic: Clemens may be caught in a lie with a photo

Originally Posted by Smizzy

**** Roger Clemens. We all know he's a lying POS.

(Editor's Note: Stop it, you're hurting Suzyn Waldman's feelings. Fdtn0Z4o8cM)

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Topic: Tickets prices going up F You Woody

Originally Posted by 124

Kid? Yeah, I'm a "kid" says the 20 something year old. Yeah. Nice. "Kid".

The fact is is that it is WRONG to raise ticket prices after a 4-12 season. Teams simply do not do this. But again, you wouldn't know, "old man".

Originally Posted by serphnx

Yeah, kid. That's exactly what you sound like.

"It is wrong." Just like a little child. No reason behind it, just your belief that the world should operate to your liking. If something inconveniences you it is "wrong." Why is it "wrong" to charge more money as a business? Is there some law on the books? Has there been a lengthy moral and ethical discourse? Have our notions of fairplay and justice been impugned? Has Woody shocked our consciences, so that no reasonable person would not be offended?

Or are you just a little child whining that he isn't handed something on a platter? You have no right to the tickets. Woody has no obligation to you. Just buying something doesn't make the seller bound to you for life for future purchases. Do you complain about your cable bill too, or your rent?

(Editor's Note: Econ 101 - Supply and Demand - )

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Topic: Mets will win the WORLD SERIES in 2008!!!

Originally Posted by Scott Dierking

Good Lord Blackout, is that ALL you have?

Please tell me it isn't.

What are you going to trivialize me with next? Some joke about my mamma?

Tom Shane is spinning in his JetNation grave with a comment like that.

If you can't hang with the big boys, because someone gave you the exact same kind of hit and run comment which YOU have became famous for, maybe you should be posting on www.sportsforpeoplewitheasilyhurtfeelings.com.

Originally Posted by Blackout

the link doesn't work

(Editor's Note: What are you talking about dude, it worked just fine for me. Try it again [link=http://www.cyquest.com/good_cry.html]www.sportsforpeoplewitheasilyhurtfeelings.com[/link])

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Topic: Jets to pursue Faneca - TFYDraft.com

Originally Posted by faba

Do not understimate the importance of a veteran on the line - look at the positive effect Kendall had on Mangold and D-Brick

(Editor's Note: 100% on the money - losing Kendall (for a paltry sum of money - so stupid) hurt both D'Brick and Mangold's development last year.)

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Topic: 4th rounder + for Pac-Man Jones.

Originally Posted by JETSFAN5180

Tell me honestly #21 Pac Man Jones in a Jets uniform coming out of the tunnel Opening day. The defense would vastly improve no doubt.

Originally Posted by flgreen

I tried to to visualize him coming out of the tunnel in green and white, and all I could come up with is orange jump suites.

I don't even want this guy coming to my town to visit,

(Editor's Note: Ok, so he has to wear an orange jumpsuit, but can it at least have the #21 on the back of it? And by the way - PASS on anyone named Pac-Man...)

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Topic: McFadden's official combine weigh in

Originally Posted by Irish Jet

I'm not trying to do that because if you'd read my posts I actually agree that DMC does have a small lower body and it is a concern. I just didn't agree with your comparison to AP who IMO has a similar enough lower body.

Peterson has or at least had (in Oklahoma) pretty skinny legs too. He's overcome that, McFadden could too IMO, I'm not saying he will just that he could.

Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards

Dumbass. I set you up perfectly so you could post this:

I don't know why I bother.

Oh - and no way we should take that skinny m-f'er #6.

(Editor's Note: We're drafting faba? I hope he can take the wear tear and still be respectful of others at the same time.)

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Topic: BP

Originally Posted by Alk

So much potential and then it's over just like that. Freakin' grownups anyway.

Originally Posted by Max

Nothing is over. You don't just turn it off. This wasn't my war. You ASKED ME!!! You do what you have to do to win.

27Q84ihZygQ

(Editor's Note: It's over Johnny. It's OVER! )

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Originally Posted by Smizzy

Don't take too long...greengal keeps giving me the eyes.

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

thats because you have a candy corn stuck in your teeth

Originally Posted by Smizzy

I call that "Bait"

(Editor's Note: Which is better than the normal "bait" for you Smizzy - you know what I mean, right? Jail - bait...)

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Originally Posted by Max

Wow BZ I can't believe you are a felcher. As a general rule if I don't know what it means and Smizzy doesn't know what it means, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

But we won't judge you.

(Editor's Note: Damn BZ, you must have a really smart family. Is this your sister? http://ksgfaculty.harvard.edu/marla_felcher)

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Originally Posted by Max

. But like I said a few weeks ago I really do think all JN\JI drama is old news.

There is a ton of Jets news, free agency is right around the corner. Lets talk Jets football. The border war stuff is yesterdays news imo.

Originally Posted by jetswin

I've said that for years and you know that, this has nothing to do with a border war, this is more like an invasion of an unwritten code, and you know that as well.

Originally Posted by Max

Well I don't know what you are talking about. But if I did, I would disagree with what you just said 100%.

(Editor's Note: Huh? Anyway, thank goodness we cut McCareins and ...)

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Originally Posted by jetsrule128

wow

dr will and james say ead so that is a good comeback

hey gm you want a table for 2 at the ead buffet ead all you want

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

only if you let him borrow your frequent diner's card.

(Editor's Note: He's not qualified to have a frequent diner's card, dude. He's barely eligible to connect to the web for crying out loud...)

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Topic: There Will Be Blood.......SUCKED!

Originally Posted by jetsrule128

have you seen there will be blood?

Originally Posted by Thor99

Just a little. When your hymen broke.

(Editor's Note: Well that makes sense now. You know, all of the "bush" that 128 talks about and whatnot...)

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Runner-up of the Week Sponsored by Terry Bradway (Hey. he did it)

Topic: Cimini article today about D-Rob

Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards

"He's due to make $9.8 million this season - $6.8 million in base pay, plus a $3 million roster bonus (due in June). In five seasons, he has pocketed more than $26 million, a hefty price for 14-1/2 sacks. He's signed through 2009."

OK, you see -- THIS is why you don't trade two first rounders and a 4th-rounder to move up for one player. (Subtle hint to people who want to trade UP to guarantee getting McFadden or Long or whomever). You have absolutely NO LEVERAGE in the contract negotiations.

DRob was FOURTH overall way back in 2003 when the salary cap was FAR lower than it is now. FOURTH. And this is what we gave him: 7 years, $54million. At the time I naturally thought there would be ridiculous/impossible-to-reach incentives all over the place in it since that was way out of whack for the #4 pick. If every incentive was reached, Andre Johnson (taken a pick ahead of him in the same draft) would have had a contract that maxed out at 6 years/$39M. So we got one more year out of DRob for an additional $15M. And it's killed our cap & cost us other players we either let go of or didn't sign in free agency.

Now I'm sure there were some incentives (pro bowl/all-pro selections) that Robertson didn't reach. But if he plays out we'll still have paid him just under $50M over 7 years. For the FOURTH overall pick, back in 2003, when the salary cap was only $75M. With the 2008 cap at $116M, that's the equivalent TODAY of giving the FOURTH overall pick a 7 year/$70-80M deal.

Two years ago (3 years AFTER DRob was drafted), we gave the same 4th overall pick (Ferguson) a 6 year/$37.5M contract when the cap was $102M, which was reasonable. A year later we gave the same money contract to Revis who was the 15TH overall pick like a couple of immature novices.

Just be done with this error & never do it again. Trade out of the top of the draft whenever possible, and use that enormous amount of saved money on proven NFL superstars, not NFL prospects. And no matter how great you THINK this or that player is going to be, or THINK you KNOW it, he is STILL just a PROSPECT. And you never know what kooky demands the player is going to set or else he won't sign (see Jamarcus Russell).

Just for comparison, a late first-round pick (#22-32) will get a CHEAP, CHEAP contract of around 5 years, $10-12M. Like 1/4 or 1/5 that of a top-5 pick. And they're not 1/4 or 1/5 the prospect. Ask Indy if they wish they'd swapped picks (and contracts) of Joseph Addai & Reggie Bush.

(Editor's Note: Sperm doing what Sperm does best - nice analysis)

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Topic: So I've Now Lost 14 1/2 Lbs....

Originally Posted by Brenjetsfan

SCOTCH...on the rocks..no calories no sugar an NO HANGOVER!

Originally Posted by greengal

virgin pina colada .. all sugar .. no alcohol .. no hangover.. but i have a big fat arse

(Editor's Note: No comment on the "arse" (I've never seen it ), but look on the bright side, you are not a drunk.)

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Topic: Top posters

Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

I was amazed to see Irish Jet has over 8 and a half thousand posts in less than a year-he's positively ecurbian

(Editor's Note: "ecurbian"! We need a formal definition (and wiki page entry) for this brand new word! Nice to see you back around these parts SoFla...)

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Thread of the Week Sponsored by Too Smart For Their Own Good Dot Com

http://www.jetnation.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50939

(Editor's Note: Oh, I see how it is now...)

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Originally Posted by drago

you are such a winer. When they played chad you were ready to rub off tangini every chance you got. You'd praise them for choosing chad going into camp, then as soon as he is benched, you go on a 6 month tour of showing everyone your period.

We get it, you are a hypocrite, move it along.

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

get over your love for my former love of Chad... its worse than my love for him...

(Editor's Note: Is that anything like "A rose is a rose is a rose" or something like that? Y'all are way too philosophical (and intellectual for that matter) for me. Got any good fart jokes?)

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And this week's winner:

Topic: Lions interested in Vilma

Originally Posted by Irish Jet

Yeah, I agree.

I'm far from convinced with Pouha even as a backup. Hopefully if we do get Rogers, he gets in great condition.

Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards

If he wants another signing bonus (which the Jets might give him & the Lions would not) then he may. What happens after that I don't know.

No worries. Tangini will promise it to him, he'll give the team everything he's got, and then we'll re-neg on the offer. I actually KNOW they can get THAT done.

Congratulations to a SpermEdwards - a JetNation and POTW long-time favorite - on his SWEEP of this week's awards. That's right, Spermie won the award and the Runner-up this week folks. Bow before his excellency. One thing, though, about your winning post - there is a good side to being cheap with players. Just think, all of those non-raises are keeping you from seeing increases in ticket pri.....Oops, never mind. Anyway, enjoy the badge this week, Spermie:

Assist of the Week goes to faba for being a good guy and a good sport - for a two dimensional fella, anyway.

That's all this legume has for y'all this week. Be good - and get me a NT.

gb

[BP]

Congrats Sperm! you are the all knowing Yoda for just about every topic.

Great job Beans!

[RSJ]

Congrats Sperm!

Nicely done!

[GreenBeans]

Wow - buried on page two on a Thursday. Golly gee...

[BP]

Wow - buried on page two on a Thursday. Golly gee...

Sorry Beans, Max has kept me busy all day in the back room here at JN world headquarters cleaning up after Smizzy.

I'll pin it.

[Irish Jet]

Damn, I saw my username at the top of the post and got excited for second. LOL

Well done Sperm.

[GreenBeans]

Sorry Beans, Max has kept me busy all day in the back room here at JN world headquarters cleaning up after Smizzy.

I'll pin it.

Damn, you pull a rough duty call this time, Tuna. Thanks!

[war ensemble]

Good job Beans, and congrats Sperm! This week is a bit weak on the noms, but nonetheless good job by all. Right once I got used to my new sig and started liking it I have to give it up. Oh well.

[GreenBeans]

Good job Beans, and congrats Sperm! This week is a bit weak on the noms, but nonetheless good job by all. Right once I got used to my new sig and started liking it I have to give it up. Oh well.

You're a clever dude, I'm sure you'll be back soon.

[Barton]

It seems that I am just too cutting edge to win POTW. Sure, all your little fluffy ass kissy posts win it every week - while I gut it out livin on the streets not knowing if I will wake up tomorrow. I just got too much street cred for this thang.

[GreenBeans]

Okay there Kobe, settle down...

[BP]

It seems that I am just too cutting edge to win POTW. Sure, all your little fluffy ass kissy posts win it every week - while I gut it out livin on the streets not knowing if I will wake up tomorrow. I just got too much street cred for this thang.

yQ4CweGjUVM

[Kidhuman]

Congrats Spermy, go find an egg and celebrate. You deserve it.