Biggest Surprise in the Sack

[Maxman]

Once you are married and your wife knows what the bathroom smells like right after you have dropped a huge dump, you are pretty much guaranteed that there will never be a sneak attack on your bunghole.

:rl::rl:

[Maxman]

My wife knows I'm #27, but I'll take my chances and she's probably heard this story.

Not very exciting and long, I may have told it here before, but it freaked me the hell out. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and some women at my office were pushing me to date one of their daughters. I was just on the wrong side of 30 and she was a cute little thing of 21 with huge boobies so eventually I took the bait.

I knew her from around the office, but we had only hung out one time. We meet at the office and head to the City. Right away it's pretty obvious that she's a little freaky and it quickly becomes evident that I will not have to try very hard with this one.

We head back to my apartment, at her request, and get right to business. She'd probably seen too many pornos, so she is doing all kinds of things, going wild and talking filthy. Eventually I get in a rythm and I'm hammering away and I realize she sounds like she's chanting something. I start paying attention to her filthy mouth and I realize that she keeps repeating "Say you love me! Say you love me!" over and over again. I stopped. She actually says to me "Just say it, you don't have to mean it". I'm not that big of a man, so eventually I finished, but I felt like I was on Candid Camera.

I love you.

[drago]

My wife knows I'm #27, but I'll take my chances and she's probably heard this story.

Not very exciting and long, I may have told it here before, but it freaked me the hell out. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and some women at my office were pushing me to date one of their daughters. I was just on the wrong side of 30 and she was a cute little thing of 21 with huge boobies so eventually I took the bait.

I knew her from around the office, but we had only hung out one time. We meet at the office and head to the City. Right away it's pretty obvious that she's a little freaky and it quickly becomes evident that I will not have to try very hard with this one.

We head back to my apartment, at her request, and get right to business. She'd probably seen too many pornos, so she is doing all kinds of things, going wild and talking filthy. Eventually I get in a rythm and I'm hammering away and I realize she sounds like she's chanting something. I start paying attention to her filthy mouth and I realize that she keeps repeating "Say you love me! Say you love me!" over and over again. I stopped. She actually says to me "Just say it, you don't have to mean it". I'm not that big of a man, so eventually I finished, but I felt like I was on Candid Camera.

"just say it, you don't have to mean it"... ****ing awesome.