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The Deaf Bookeeper

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> A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has

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> screwed him for ten million bucks. his bookkeeper is

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> deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and

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> why he got the job in the first place, since it was

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> assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to

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> hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in

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> court.

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> When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper

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> about his missing $10 million, he brings along his

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> attorney, who knows sign language.

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>

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> The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10

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> million bucks you embezzled from me?"

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> The attorney, using sign language, asks the

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> bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden. The bookkeeper

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> signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

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> The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he

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> doesn't know what you're talking about."

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> That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol,

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> puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and

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> says: "Ask him again!"

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> The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill

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> you for sure if you don't tell him!"

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> The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The

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> money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed

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> in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

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> The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he

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> say?"

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> The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the

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> balls to pull the trigger.

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A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil greets him

"You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever you choose, the person in that room will switch with you. They'll go to heaven and you'll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room."

The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped. The second room has someone being burned by a torch. The third has a man getting oral from a naked woman.

"I choose this room!" the man says.

"Very well," the devil says. He walks up to the woman and taps her on the shoulder.

"You can go now. I've found you're replacement."

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