Tennessee_Jet Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Saw this link on another site and spent sometime reading this forum. It has some of the most funny stuff I've ever read. Hilarious stories from ER doctors, EMS persons, etc. Take a lookie: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=67019&page=1&pp=25 Here's a sample post: An unconscious 30-year-old man was brought to the ER by ambulance. His girlfriend had found him lying naked on the floor of his bathroom and called 911. In the ER, he was found to have a large lump on the top of his head and, strangely, several scratches on his scrotum. The doctors figured the lump was possibly caused by a fall or a knock to the head. However the source of the scratches remained a mystery until he woke up and provided the doctors with the following explanation. He said he had been cleaning his bathtub while naked, kneeling on the floor beside the tub. His cat, apparently transfixed by the rhythmic swaying of his scrotum, lunged forward, sinking its claws into this pendulous target. This caused the man to rocket upward, striking his head on the top frame of the shower door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Wow...I olny read the first 3 pages and Im in stitches. funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boozer76 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Wow these are great!! I'm all the way on page 6 and can't stop reading them. One thing that I wonder, a couple of them say don't go to the bathroom if you are having chest pains. Funny thing is i know someone who died on the crapper from a heart attack after complaining of chest pains. I've also heard this saying before. Anyone know if there really is some link with dying right after you go to the bathroom while having chest pains, or is it all just coincidence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Wow these are great!! I'm all the way on page 6 and can't stop reading them. One thing that I wonder, a couple of them say don't go to the bathroom if you are having chest pains. Funny thing is i know someone who died on the crapper from a heart attack after complaining of chest pains. I've also heard this saying before. Anyone know if there really is some link with dying right after you go to the bathroom while having chest pains, or is it all just coincidence? I can't even read the words you type with Gunther over there. That Fraging guy creeps me out!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green DNA Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Wow these are great!! I'm all the way on page 6 and can't stop reading them. One thing that I wonder, a couple of them say don't go to the bathroom if you are having chest pains. Funny thing is i know someone who died on the crapper from a heart attack after complaining of chest pains. I've also heard this saying before. Anyone know if there really is some link with dying right after you go to the bathroom while having chest pains, or is it all just coincidence? No medical backup here, but when I was a kid the janitor at the local school was found on the crapper dead from a heart attack. I remember someone saying that when you are having a heart attack, you get the sensation that you need to take a dump. When you are having a heart attack I think the dump is just a side effect, not a cause. The only way that I want to croak with my pants down is if I just finished "servicing" a young lovely a la Nelson Rockefeller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bman Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 funny stuff over there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor99 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Anyone know if there really is some link with dying right after you go to the bathroom while having chest pains, or is it all just coincidence? There is a nerve, called the Vagus Nerve, that actually connects your anus and your heart. You can never use a rectal thermometer on a patient with heart problems. I'm assuming that is part of the problem. I'm also assuming that this is part of the reason that Shane had to leave. When I was a medic in the Army, I had to do rotations at the Troop Medical Center. Needless to say there were alot of STD's among soldiers. About twice a week, I would get a patient who would say, "Doc, I have a sore throat, I need penicillin." My answer? Drop 'em. That was the best part of my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boozer76 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I can't even read the words you type with Gunther over there. That Fraging guy creeps me out!! Don't mess with a pimp, man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boozer76 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 There is a nerve, called the Vagus Nerve, that actually connects your anus and your heart. You can never use a rectal thermometer on a patient with heart problems. I'm assuming that is part of the problem. I'm also assuming that this is part of the reason that Shane had to leave. Is this for real, or are you just focking around? And if not, does that mean I should do everything in my power to hold in a giant dump if I'm having chest pains? When I was a medic in the Army, I had to do rotations at the Troop Medical Center. Needless to say there were alot of STD's among soldiers. About twice a week, I would get a patient who would say, "Doc, I have a sore throat, I need penicillin." My answer? Drop 'em. That was the best part of my day. I was trying to think of something witty in return, but I'm just speechless.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor99 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Is this for real, or are you just focking around? And if not, does that mean I should do everything in my power to hold in a giant dump if I'm having chest pains? Absolutely. I am many things, but I'm not a liar. I have alot of stories like these morons. There was a girl who was 8 months pregnant and didn't know it. The guy who was stationed at Fort Drum, NY and got sent to Somalia. You go from -40 degrees to 110's, and he fell asleep at the beach. 4 hours later, he had the worst sunburn I had ever seen. His skin was sloughing off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bman Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 people dump when they are nervous! or if their heart rate goes up .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor99 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 people dump when they are nervous! or if their heart rate goes up .. Or if you drink coffee, or if you do cocaine. Or if you eat alot and drive a car for a living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bman Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 true..I hate the coke dump! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor99 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 true..I hate the coke dump! Back when I did that sort of stuff, we called it the 'Bump Dump.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bman Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 hysterical! what a crappy drug (no pun intended)... you get all high and you gotta leave the bar to run home for a dump! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 hysterical! what a crappy drug (no pun intended)... you get all high and you gotta leave the bar to run home for a dump! Reminds me of that scene in Trainspotting w/ the guy losing his suppository down that disgusting toilet.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boozer76 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Back when I did that sort of stuff, we called it the 'Bump Dump.' I used to laugh because I would feel like I had to take a dump, but then I'd sit on the throne and really have nothing going on. All the while with the coke shakes lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.