Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #3: I got better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #1: Burn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 CROWD: Burn her! Burn! Burn her!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 BEDEVERE: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #1: Are there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #2: Ah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #1: What are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 CROWD: Tell us! Tell us!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #2: Burn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #1: Burn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #1: More witches! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #3: Shh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #2: Wood! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildthing2022000 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 poop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn? [pause] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of... wood? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 poop Great. Way to ruin it all. Sod this. You must be a real riot at the movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Well, since he messed it up, I'm just gonna post it in huge chunks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh. CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh. BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her. BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone? VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah. RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh... BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water? VILLAGER #1: No. No. VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats! VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond! CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond! BEDEVERE: What also floats in water? VILLAGER #1: Bread! VILLAGER #2: Apples! VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks! VILLAGER #1: Cider! VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy! VILLAGER #1: Cherries! VILLAGER #2: Mud! VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches! VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead! ARTHUR: A duck! CROWD: Oooh. BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically... VILLAGER #1: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood. BEDEVERE: And therefore? VILLAGER #2: A witch! VILLAGER #1: A witch! CROWD: A witch! A witch!... VILLAGER #4: Here is a duck. Use this duck. [quack quack quack] BEDEVERE: Very good. We shall use my largest scales. CROWD: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh... BEDEVERE: Right. Remove the supports! [whop] [clunk] [creak] CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! WITCH: It's a fair cop. VILLAGER #3: Burn her! CROWD: Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!... BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science? ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons. BEDEVERE: My liege! ARTHUR: Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table? BEDEVERE: My liege! I would be honored. ARTHUR: What is your name? BEDEVERE: 'Bedevere', my liege. ARTHUR: Then I dub you 'Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Gallahad the Pure, and Sir Robin the- not- quite- so- brave- as- Sir- Lancelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not- appearing- in- this- film. Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: the Knights of the Round Table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [clop clop clop] SIR BEDEVERE: And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped. ARTHUR: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. BEDEVERE: Oh, certainly, sir. SIR LAUNCELOT: Look, my liege! [trumpets] ARTHUR: Camelot! SIR GALAHAD: Camelot! LAUNCELOT: Camelot! PATSY: It's only a model. ARTHUR: Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride... to... Camelot! [in medieval hall] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [in medieval hall] KNIGHTS: [singing] We're Knights of the Round Table. We dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. [dancing] We're Knights of the Round Table. Our shows are formidable, But many times we're given rhymes That are quite unsingable. We're opera mad in Camelot. We sing from the diaphragm a lot. [in dungeon] PRISONER: [clap clap clap clap] [in medieval hall] KNIGHTS: [tap-dancing] In war we're tough and able, Quite indefatigable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable. It's a busy life in Camelot. MAN: I have to push the pram a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 ARTHUR: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. KNIGHTS: Right. Right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [clop clop clop] [boom boom] [angels sing] GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! [singing stops] One thing I can't stand, it's people groveling. ARTHUR: Sorry. [boom] GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'. [boom] What are you doing now?! ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, O Lord. GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms-- they're so depressing. Now, knock it off! ARTHUR: Yes, Lord. GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons, your Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times. ARTHUR: Good idea, O Lord! GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! [angels sing] Arthur, this is the Holy Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. That is your purpose, Arthur: the quest for the Holy Grail. [boom] [singing stops] LAUNCELOT: A blessing! A blessing from the Lord! GALAHAD: God be praised! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [King Arthur music] [clop clop clop] ARTHUR: Halt! [horn] Hallo! [pause] Hallo! FRENCH GUARD: Allo! Who is eet? ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this? FRENCH GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard. ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. FRENCH GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see. ARTHUR: What? GALAHAD: He says they've already got one! ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one? FRENCH GUARD: Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.) FRENCH GUARDS: [chuckling] ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look? FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a! ARTHUR: Well, what are you, then? FRENCH GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?! GALAHAD: What are you doing in England? FRENCH GUARD: Mind your own business! ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force! FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt! GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man-- FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? FRENCH GUARD: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff] ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable. FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.) OTHER FRENCH GUARD: Quoi? FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!) [mooo] ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- [twong] [mooooooo] Jesus Christ! KNIGHTS: Christ! [thud] Ah! Ohh! ARTHUR: Right! Charge! KNIGHTS: Charge! [mayhem] FRENCH GUARD: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go. [mayhem] FRENCH GUARD: And this one's for your dad! ARTHUR: Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! FRENCH GUARD: Thppppt! FRENCH GUARDS: [taunting] LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart! ARTHUR: No, no. No, no. BEDEVERE: Sir! I have a plan, sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [later] [wind] [saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw] [clunk] [bang] [rewr!] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak] [rrrr rrrr rrrr] [drilllll] [sawwwww] [clunk] [crash] [clang] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...] [creak] FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering] C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here... [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...] [clllank] ARTHUR: What happens now? BEDEVERE: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! ARTHUR: Who leaps out? BEDEVERE: U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh... ARTHUR: Ohh. BEDEVERE: Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger-- [clank] [twong] ARTHUR: Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! [CRASH] FRENCH GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [clack] VOICE: Picture for Schools, take eight. DIRECTOR: Action! HISTORIAN: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate and search for the Grail individually. [clop clop clop] Now, this is what they did: Launcelot-- KNIGHT: Aaaah! [slash] [KNIGHT kills HISTORIAN] HISTORIAN'S WIFE: Frank! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [trumpets] NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Robin. So, each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favourite minstrels. MINSTREL: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken, To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin! His head smashed in and his heart cut out And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off And his pen-- SIR ROBIN: That's-- that's, uh-- that's enough music for now, lads. Heh. Looks like there's dirty work afoot. DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom. WOMAN: Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud. ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou? MINSTREL: [singing] He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who-- ROBIN: Shut up! Um, n-- n-- n-- nobody, really. I'm j-- j-- j-- ju-- just, um-- just passing through. ALL HEADS: What do you want? MINSTREL: [singing] To fight and-- ROBIN: Shut up! Um, oo, a-- nothing. Nothing, really. I, uh-- j-- j-- just-- just to, um-- just to p-- pass through, good Sir Knight. ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not! ROBIN: Ah. W-- well, actually I-- I am a Knight of the Round Table. ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table? ROBIN: I am. LEFT HEAD: In that case, I shall have to kill you. MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I? RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so. MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think? LEFT HEAD: I think kill him. RIGHT HEAD: Oh, let's be nice to him. LEFT HEAD: Oh, shut up. ROBIN: Perhaps I could-- LEFT HEAD: And you. Oh, quick! Get the sword out. I want to cut his head off! RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off! MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favour! LEFT HEAD: What? RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time. MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky. You're not next to him. LEFT HEAD: What do you mean? MIDDLE HEAD: You snore! LEFT HEAD: Oh, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath. MIDDLE HEAD: Well, it's only because you don't brush my teeth. RIGHT HEAD: Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea. LEFT HEAD: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits. MIDDLE HEAD: Yes. RIGHT HEAD: Oh, not biscuits. LEFT HEAD: All right. All right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway. ALL HEADS: Right! MIDDLE HEAD: He buggered off. RIGHT HEAD: So he has. He's scarpered. MINSTREL: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away, ROBIN: No! MINSTREL: [singing] Bravely ran away, away. ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. ROBIN: No! MINSTREL: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about ROBIN: I didn't! MINSTREL: [singing] And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, ROBIN: I never did! MINSTREL: [singing] He beat a very brave retreat, ROBIN: All lies! MINSTREL: [singing] Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin. ROBIN: I never! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 CARTOON MONKS: [chanting] Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. CARTOON CHARACTER: Heh heh heeh ooh... [twang] CARTOON MONKS: [chanting] Pie Iesu domine,... CARTOON CHARACTERS: Wayy! [splash] Ho ho. Woa, wayy! [twang] [splash] Heh heh heh heh ho! Heh heh heh! CARTOON MONKS: [chanting] ...dona eis requiem. CARTOON CHARACTER: Wayy! [twang] Wayy! [twang] VOICE: [whispering] Forgive me, for I have sinned. CARTOON CHARACTER: Oh! Oooo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 [trumpets] NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Galahad. [boom] [wind] [howl] [howl] [boom] [angels singing] [howl] [boom] [howl] [boom] [pound pound pound] GALAHAD: Open the door! Open the door! [pound pound pound] In the name of King Arthur, open the door! [creak] [thump] [creak] [boom] GIRLS: Hello! ZOOT: Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax. GALAHAD: The Castle Anthrax? ZOOT: Yes. Oh, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need! GALAHAD: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail? ZOOT: The what? GALAHAD: The Grail. It is here. ZOOT: Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile. Midget! Crapper! MIDGET and CRAPPER: Yes, O Zoot? ZOOT: Prepare a bed for our guest. MIDGET and CRAPPER: Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!... ZOOT: Away! Away, varletesses. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big. GALAHAD: Well, look, I-- I, uh-- ZOOT: What is your name, handsome knight? GALAHAD: 'Sir Galahad... the Chaste'. ZOOT: Mine is 'Zoot'. Just 'Zoot'. Oh, but come. GALAHAD: Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail! ZOOT: Oh, you have suffered much. You are delirious. GALAHAD: No, look. I have seen it! It is here in this-- ZOOT: Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality. GALAHAD: Well, I-- I, uh-- ZOOT: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen- and- a- half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded! GALAHAD: No, no. It's-- it's nothing. ZOOT: Oh, you must see the doctors immediately! No, no, please! Lie down. [clap clap] PIGLET: Well, what seems to be the trouble? GALAHAD: They're doctors?! ZOOT: Uh, they... have a basic medical training, yes. GALAHAD: B-- but-- ZOOT: Oh, come. Come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet! Doctor Winston! Practise your art. WINSTON: Try to relax. GALAHAD: Are you sure that's absolutely necessary? PIGLET: We must examine you. GALAHAD: There's nothing wrong with that! PIGLET: Please. We are doctors. GALAHAD: Look! This cannot be. I am sworn to chastity. PIGLET: Back to your bed! At once! GALAHAD: Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail! PIGLET: There's no grail here. GALAHAD: I have seen it! I have seen it! [clank] I have seen-- GIRLS: Hello. GALAHAD: Oh. GIRLS: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. GALAHAD: Zoot! DINGO: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo. GALAHAD: Oh, well, excuse me, I-- DINGO: Where are you going? GALAHAD: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle! DINGO: Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot! GALAHAD: Well, what is it? DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem. GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail? DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty! Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now, we're glad. It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think. LEFT HEAD: At least ours was better visually. DENNIS: Well, at least ours was committed. It wasn't just a string of ***** jokes. OLD MAN: Get on with it. TIM THE ENCHANTER: Yes, get on with it! ARMY OF KNIGHTS: Yes, get on with it! DINGO: Oh, I am enjoying this scene. GOD: Get on with it! DINGO: [sigh] [clunk] Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and spank her. GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking! DINGO: You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me. AMAZING: And spank me. STUNNER: And me. LOVELY: And me. DINGO: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking! GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight! DINGO: And after the spanking, the oral sex. GIRLS: The oral sex! The oral sex! GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a bit longer. LAUNCELOT: Sir Galahad! GALAHAD: Oh, hello. LAUNCELOT: Quick! GALAHAD: What? LAUNCELOT: Quick! GALAHAD: Why? LAUNCELOT: You are in great peril! DINGO: No, he isn't. LAUNCELOT: Silence, foul temptress! GALAHAD: You know, she's got a point. LAUNCELOT: Come on! We will cover your escape! GALAHAD: Look, I'm fine! LAUNCELOT: Come on! GIRLS: Sir Galahad! GALAHAD: No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed! DINGO: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed! GIRLS: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed! LAUNCELOT: No, Sir Galahad. Come on! GALAHAD: No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily. DINGO: Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily. GIRLS: Yes. Let him handle us easily. LAUNCELOT: No. Quick! Quick! GALAHAD: Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them! DINGO: Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance. GIRLS: We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily... [boom] DINGO: Oh, ****. LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. GALAHAD: I don't think I was. LAUNCELOT: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril. GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous. GALAHAD: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. LAUNCELOT: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on! GALAHAD: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril? LAUNCELOT: No. It's unhealthy. GALAHAD: I bet you're gay. LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 NARRATOR: Sir Launcelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow's flight away, had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallows' flights away-- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging-- CROWD: Get on with it! NARRATOR: Oh, anyway. On to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers a vital clue, and in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a starling-- oooh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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