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"Mahi-Mahi and a side a Tuna" Edition of Post of the Week - September 4th, 2008

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Welcome to this week's edition of Post of the Week, ladies and gentleman (there is only one actual gentleman on this board, you see). This week's entries are diverse, interesting for one who studies social-behavioral type things, and funny in a particularly JN type of way. So, without further blabbering from me, let's get to it.

The nominations for this week are:

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Topic: I have the runs

I'll bet you guys don't have spammers over at JI do you? Freakin' Jr. High boards anyway. Can you put in a good word for me murph. I didn't really mean it when I called Sooth an a$$hole. What I meant to call him was a fat, no good, flipflop wearing, pancake eating, money grubbing, sack of monkey $hit. :lol:

Is Sooth really huge?

Are the JN mods gay? :lol:

LOL. Pix please on Sooth.

I googled The Soothsayer, this is what came up:

img_paccinini1.jpg

The Nomination: "A truly laugh out loud post. Phenomenally brilliant use of a demented image for purposes of comedy, albeit at the expense of another--less enlightened--human being. Great job." Borgoguy

Editor's Note: Nice war, very very nice. This picture speaks a thousand words about "The Soothsayer".

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Topic: Watching Football or Sex

I know SJ will answer tail as that old geezer needs to get it when he can.

I'm talking about a big game..Jets vs Pats/Bills/Phins...

Your have your sammich and beer in your most comfortable chair and your

sig other comes into the room in her birthday ...what do you do?

Tell her to scram, the F'n Jets are on

Tell her you will squeeze her in at halftime

Tell Her Fine, you are more important than Jets

Myself ..i could fit her in during a Penne pass ...With Favre at helm

around could make it tougher for me

never pass up the sex, it is one of those "use it or lose it" things. Just pound as hard, fast, and unmercifully as you can to "punish her" for being bad and interrupting you and the game.

The Nomination: "Good advice for the yung-ins out there." Lil Bit Special

Editor's Note: None. Not one. Nope, not gonna do it...

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Runner-up of the Week Sponsored by greengal, because she rocks!

Topic: Watching Football or Sex

I know SJ will answer tail as that old geezer needs to get it when he can.

I'm talking about a big game..Jets vs Pats/Bills/Phins...

Your have your sammich and beer in your most comfortable chair and your

sig other comes into the room in her birthday ...what do you do?

Tell her to scram, the F'n Jets are on

Tell her you will squeeze her in at halftime

Tell Her Fine, you are more important than Jets

Myself ..i could fit her in during a Penne pass ...With Favre at helm

around could make it tougher for me

I believe it depends on where you are in your relationship curve:

Early: you have to shut the game off sometimes but not always. On the one hand, she has to learn that she is to pick better times for this or you will set a very bad precedent too early & she'll mistakenly think this is acceptable behavior. On the other hand, you don't want to risk losing her altogether: if it's really early in the relationship she doesn't have as much time invested and may just leave your loser Jets fan ass.

Middle (after 6-12 months, engagement, marriage): Tell her to get lost, and the sooner the better. The Jets are on. Period. She has no choice. Even if she runs out of the house to go cry to her mother or best friend, it's still all good because now she's out of the house for the next few hours. You can give her flowers & a fake-remorse "I'm a jerk" apology later & it'll all be good again (until next Sunday anyway).

Later: after years of marriage, children, or both. This stage reverts the Jets fan back to "Early" but for different reason. She's not going to leave you over this (if things were so bad she wouldn't show up in the den all nude-ied up in the first place). But at the same time, she has found other things to occupy her time over the years: kids, career, honing her food-shopping and laundry and cleaning and cooking skills, etc. So these opportunities have become a rarity of late, and sometimes you can't pass them up.

The Nomination: "great f'n answer" afosomf

Editor's Note:[url=http://www.jetnation.com/forums/member.php?u=] Sperm Edwards, philosopher, scholar, gentleman, and sexy-ass stud muffin it would seem. Good analysis, and the man is not even talking football this time around...

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Topic: Watching Football or Sex

FlJetsgirl would never stand for me interupting a Jets game like that

Doggystyle lets you both watch the game.

The Nomination: "Obviously the correct answer, plus you have a place to rest your beer and pretzels too!" Green DNA

Editor's Note: And everyone says Bob is not a sensitive man - obviously he is, and caring, too. Pass the pretzels...

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Topic: ATTN: Jetophile

didn't know abe had a twin bro;)
image.php?u=829&dateline=1219937373

His paradox of personality and duality of character, all reflections of the same mind, it fascinate me. It's why I made it that way. Me and my symbols, my symbols and I.

i find all the simalarities between Abe's and JFK fascinating

Comparison of events

The following chart compares the amazing coincidences in the deaths of Lincoln and Kennedy. Some items that are commonly listed in this comparison have been deleted as incorrect, thanks to reader feedback.

Lincoln

Kennedy

Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846

Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946

He was elected President in 1860

He was elected President in 1960

His wife lost a child while living in the White House

His wife lost a child while living in the White House

He was directly concerned with Civil Rights

He was directly concerned with Civil Rights

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who told him not to go to the theater *1

Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln who told him not to go to Dallas *2

Lincoln was shot in the back of the head in the presence of his wife

Kennedy was shot in the back of the head in the presence of his wife

Lincoln shot in the Ford Theatre

Kennedy shot in a Lincoln, made by Ford

He was shot on a Friday

He was shot on a Friday

The assassin, John Wilkes Booth, was known by three names, comprised of fifteen letters

The assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald, was known by three names, comprised of fifteen letters

Booth shot Lincoln in a theater and fled to a warehouse *3

Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and fled to a theater

Booth was killed before being brought to trial

Oswald was killed before being brought to trial

There were theories that Booth was part of a greater conspiracy

There were theories that Oswald was part of a greater conspiracy

Lincoln's successor was Andrew Johnson, born in 1808

Kennedy's successor was Lyndon Johnson, born in 1908

The Nomination: "Provocative facts involving American icons. Well compiled and organized. Plus it's got a good beat and you can dance to it." Borgoguy

Editor's Note: One other interesting historical fact for you - Lincoln was born in Kentucky and JFK's brother Teddy likes to drink bourbon. I did say interesting, I did not say funny...

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Topic: Pats Cuts

who gives a crap about pats cuts?

i'm sure they are on patsplanet.

Hobson blew here not surprised he got blown up

They are a team that went 16-0 last season and has the same defense... .the JETS care.

The Nomination: "I can nominate myself? Crazy!" ecurb2369

Editor's Note: Because one can does not mean that one should, (ex)Rocketman. :) And I care...

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Topic: UFOs/Aliens witnessed in Serbia

So, Glalactic HQ authorizes a mission to:

  • Cross the galaxy and after all that effort, hover over an irrelevant nearly 3rd world nation.
  • Look at a nurse and a truck driver
  • Head home to report their findings.

Not buyin' it.

If you have that technology, you'd have something better to do than look at a truck driver for 10 seconds.

They came to get Brett Favre's autograph, but their GPS was malfunctioning.

The Nomination: "Who wouldn't come for Favre's autograph? Haha" 124

Editor's Note: GPS malfunction or fear of strange men in Cheesehead gear, you decide:

cheesehead.jpg

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Topic: 124's Keys to the Game: Jets @ Dolphins ~ Week 1

Sounds familiar doesn't it? Nope, no delusions of grandeur this year. We're rebuilding instead of taking the 'Band-Aid' approach. Might wanna watch out for that ;)

If Favre, Fanaca, Woody, Jenkins and Pace are band-aids, make me a mummy.

Man, that was corny. :smile:

The Nomination: "Yep" Sperm Edwards

Editor's Note: Make up your mind, Maynard - are you a vegetable or a dead guy in wrapped in a old, stinky sheet? Ohhh, wait - I get it, you're pretending to be PatsFanTX! ;)

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Topic: Bar A on Sunday !!

Hey any fans lookin lookin for a good spot to watch game on sunday come on down to Bar A !! if we get enough people to come down we will get our own bar open just for Jet fans !! we will meet at the front bar !! Bar A is on 16th Ave in Belmar !! plus there havin a pig roast !! hope to see ya there !!

thanks but due to my low self esteem, I'll prolly go to bar c or d

The Nomination: "Nice one!" Lil Bit Special

Editor's Note: Low self esteem can be okay sometimes:

" Now I'll relay this little bit

It happens more than I'd like to admit

Late at night, she knocks on my door

She's drunk again and, looking to score

Now I know, I should say no, but

It's kind of hard when she's ready to go

I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb

I'm just a sucker with no self esteem"

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Topic:The Chiefs are going to beat the Patriots

Yeah, and Miami's gonna beat the Jets ;-)

in other news, the snoball is holding it's own in hell ;-)

The Nomination: "Classic Willy." drago

Editor's Note: And the sad part here is that the snowball is getting better odds than the 'phins are this weekend. Can you spell "Pick Six"? Welcome to Mr. Pennington's World.

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Topic: run 10 miles or get rep up and running again.. ?

the thanks button is kinda gay in my opinion. gee thanks for the post. golly that post was swell & I want the rest of the board to know how I feel about it.

I am however open to a reach around button.:)

You're preaching to the choir on that one bro. I asked for a "Finger in the Arse during a BJ" button at ThePhins... Ive yet to receive a reply from Admin...

The Nomination: ":rl:" BP

Editor's Note: ...and introducing your newest member of the Mod team, Mr. HardKoreXXX. May I call you Kore, and no need to shake my hand...

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Topic:CB Ahmad Carroll Changes His NUmber

CB Ahmad Carroll, who wore jersey No. 42 during training camp, has changed his number to 31.

Lucky for me I waited to purchase his authentic jersey.........:rl:

The Nomination: "It was just laying there-somebody had to pick it up" SoFlaJets

Editor's Note: Glad you waited, then. You may want to think about picking yourself up an authentic Phil Wise jersey as well. I get Mr. Hanky is really gone now, huh?

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Topic: Went To Hofstra Today

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of 'Jetsrule at Hofstra' when we will answer these burning questions: How will our hero get passed the evil security guard at the gate? Will he live to finally see what no other Jets fan has ever seen? Will he be able to get his bush away from the killer bunny rabbit and save it from the same fate as the rest of the Jets training camp? Stay tuned as all this and more will be on the next exciting episode of 'Jetsrule at Hofstra'. Same message board. Same thread.

The Nomination: "I Love the JR128 saga....

where's Ben?" Lil Bit Special

Editor's Note: Poor jetsrule, he will be stalking empty fields and a the ghosts of Weeb Ewbank Hall forever as a heartbroken, bunny phobic, and Kaysar loving man.

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And this week's winner...

Congratulations to joewilly, poster extraordinaire and all around nice guy. joewilly wins this week mostly because the snowball is getting better odds than the 'phins are this weekend. Can you spell "Pick Six"? Welcome to Mr. Pennington's World Mr. Teal Wearing 'phins Fan. Wear the badge with pride this week, joey:

potw.jpg

Assist of the week goes to DMaynard, a man on fire for the better part of the week with the quick wit and witticisms. Thanks for the laughts this week, Dee.

That's all for this episode, boys and girls. Welcome to the 2008-2009 NFL Season! Enjoy the games and y'all be cool -

gb

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