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Baltimore/Pitt matchup: "Not Personal"


stoicsentry

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In the midst of all the trash talking and indecency surrounding the upcoming matchup between AFC East rivals New England and New York, the characteristically tame showdown between AFC North rivals Baltimore and Pittsburgh is flying under the radar. Simply speaking: there's no hype here.

While New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan recently declared his showdown with legendary coach Bill Belichick and his New England Patriots as "personal", Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is taking a different approach to his upcoming game. Sources close to the Steelers indicate that Tomlin considers the Steelers-Ravens rivalry to be, "purely a business matter. The organization is in this for one thing," the source says, "winnings lots of games will help them sell tickets and overly priced merchandise. And, you know, the players have really rallied around that mission: they're viewing the Ravens as 'partners' in a venture for mutual benefit."

Baltimore Ravens players are taking a similar approach. A source close to linebacker Ray Lewis tells me that Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger recently requested Lewis to be the godfather of his next child. Lewis was flattered by the news, the source says, calling Roethlisberger a, "swell guy... true gentleman. I have nothing but soft and fuzzy feelings for the man. It's just too bad about my job - which will force me to gently push him towards the ground on game day. Hey, it's not personal."

Roethlisberger (according to sources as well) was quick to reciprocate, noting that Lewis and he are similar in that they are both, "trying to bring decency back into what many fear is becoming a classless, mean-spirited NFL. It's just that there are some teams out there in the northern part of the Mid-Atlantic States but just below New England, I'm not going to name names, but there are some teams in that area, which... have lost their path. Where right and wrong take a backseat to a win-it-all mentality that ignores airplane headphone incidents and hamburger consumption."

This was stoicsentry reporting.

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In the midst of all the trash talking and indecency surrounding the upcoming matchup between AFC East rivals New England and New York, the characteristically tame showdown between AFC North rivals Baltimore and Pittsburgh is flying under the radar. Simply speaking: there's no hype here.

While New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan recently declared his showdown with legendary coach Bill Belichick and his New England Patriots as "personal", Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is taking a different approach to his upcoming game. Sources close to the Steelers indicate that Tomlin considers the Steelers-Ravens rivalry to be, "purely a business matter. The organization is in this for one thing," the source says, "winnings lots of games will help them sell tickets and overly priced merchandise. And, you know, the players have really rallied around that mission: they're viewing the Ravens as 'partners' in a venture for mutual benefit."

Baltimore Ravens players are taking a similar approach. A source close to linebacker Ray Lewis tells me that Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger recently requested Lewis to be the godfather of his next child. Lewis was flattered by the news, the source says, calling Roethlisberger a, "swell guy... true gentleman. I have nothing but soft and fuzzy feelings for the man. It's just too bad about my job - which will force me to gently push him towards the ground on game day. Hey, it's not personal."

Roethlisberger (according to sources as well) was quick to reciprocate, noting that Lewis and he are similar in that they are both, "trying to bring decency back into what many fear is becoming a classless, mean-spirited NFL. It's just that there are some teams out there in the northern part of the Mid-Atlantic States but just below New England, I'm not going to name names, but there are some teams in that area, which... have lost their path. Where right and wrong take a backseat to a win-it-all mentality that ignores airplane headphone incidents and hamburger consumption."

This was stoicsentry reporting.

Well done. Haha... much better satire than that kid from JI that used to write satires of the board discussions and then ask everyone if he was in their top 10 posters... oy.

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