Crushers fat gut Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 You gotta understand, the man weighs like 600lbs, is always sweaty, and his arm's are kind of short and he isn't able to properly wipe himself. So the sweat mixes with the left over poo to produce the most foul odor I've ever smelt, and I'm a toilet seat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Maybe you should have tried staying in school. Now go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visajets Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh terminal swampazz. Ewwwww thats gross. That poor toilet. Flabber engulfing a porcelan object with foul stench emitting from the dark hairy hole. Sorry Crusher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 Maybe you should have tried staying in school. Now go away. Absolutely not. We've spoken to Mrs. Crusher, she's agreed to dig you a hole in the backyard to use, otherwise we start attacking her and the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Absolutely not. We've spoken to Mrs. Crusher, she's agreed to dig you a hole in the backyard to use, otherwise we start attacking her and the children. First off you know damn well Mrs Crusher the kids never ever sit on you. Your a big fat ugly seat for a big fat ugly a$$. Deal with it. they all use the upstairs bathrooms where toilet seats have a$$ class and manners. Every one in the house hates you, I'm your only friend. This is how you treat me? We already tried the hole thing in the yard. ******* county stopped that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh terminal swampazz. Ewwwww thats gross. That poor toilet. Flabber engulfing a porcelan object with foul stench emitting from the dark hairy hole. Sorry Crusher. I'm sorry. you probably poop like a little girl and butterflies and flowers fly out of your a$$ and chipmunks start singing songs about the Southland. Good for you. When I sh*t Al Gore calls and complains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh terminal swampazz. Ewwwww thats gross. That poor toilet. Flabber engulfing a porcelan object with foul stench emitting from the dark hairy hole. Sorry Crusher. Right? And that's only the beginning, i've got the freaken trap up my a$$ since last month when the mother****er passed a license plate. He's like a freaken shark! That thing scraped the hell from the base of the bowl to the end of the trap and ever since then they've been threatening to strike. This has been building for years. We won't back down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 First off you know damn well Mrs Crusher the kids never ever sit on you. Your a big fat ugly seat for a big fat ugly a$$. Deal with it. they all use the upstairs bathrooms where toilet seats have a$$ class and manners. Every one in the house hates you, I'm your only friend. This is how you treat me? We already tried the hole thing in the yard. ******* county stopped that. Ever hear of the National Toilet Seat Union #432? Yeah, that's right, we're in contact, and we've unionized you slob. Your house is now a union shop. No union member seat will serve here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Ever hear of the National Toilet Seat Union #432? Yeah, that's right, we're in contact, and we've unionized you slob. Your house is now a union shop. No union member seat will serve here. Yeah because all the toilets upstairs that have all the thin and delicate hineys that sit on them would associate with you. You know, they actually have the fancy blue water upstairs. That delicately cleanses the bowl EACH and EVERY time they flush. hahah.. Unlike the Ajax and vinegar dooshes I give you when you start to stink. Unions.. hahah your a Real Jimmy Hoffa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visajets Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I'm sorry. you probably poop like a little girl and butterflies and flowers fly out of your a$$ and chipmunks start singing songs about the Southland. Good for you. When I sh*t Al Gore calls and complains. You should be sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 You should be sorry. Agreed. We all can;t have flower bowels, Mr. Poopouri. So pretty is your poopie. I bet that lecherous toilet seat would never bite you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerryK Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Crusher is a humble man, so he doesn't talk about his television debut a couple yrs back. In lieu of this discussion I think he deserves some props. Watch closely and you'll see him in this scene... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym9_RfCwFr0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Crusher is a humble man, so he doesn't talk about his television debut a couple yrs back. In lieu of this discussion I think he deserves some props. Watch closely and you'll see him in this scene... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym9_RfCwFr0 jerry Wins. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 jerry Wins. LOL Jerry always wins. And, it was just a matter of time until your toilet seat showed up here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Jerry always wins. And, it was just a matter of time until your toilet seat showed up here. Just be careful. He bites and talks back and quite honestly he's full of sh*t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerryK Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Yeah because all the toilets upstairs that have all the thin and delicate hineys that sit on them would associate with you. You know, they actually have the fancy blue water upstairs. That delicately cleanses the bowl EACH and EVERY time they flush. hahah.. Unlike the Ajax and vinegar dooshes I give you when you start to stink. Unions.. hahah your a Real Jimmy Hoffa. Describing your mistreatment here for these kind people is not helping your cause. I've filed grievances with the union, and they agree, my liviing conditions are deplorable. With the amount of time we spend together, you'd think you'd want to get a long better. Another thing we need to discuss is lifting the seat up to pee. Is it really that difficult to lean over and lift the seat up? Aren't I cold enough that I don't need to wet down before you rest your large bottom on me? Maybe it's just time to lose the false pride, succomb to gravity and begin taking a seat to pee. And this one isn't just for me, I've got complaints from half the bathroom on this one. How you manage to get urine on something that is 10 feet directly behind you, I'll never know, but it needs to change. Baby crusher had better aim as a toddler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Describing your mistreatment here for these kind people is not helping your cause. I've filed grievances with the union, and they agree, my liviing conditions are deplorable. With the amount of time we spend together, you'd think you'd want to get a long better. Another thing we need to discuss is lifting the seat up to pee. Is it really that difficult to lean over and lift the seat up? Aren't I cold enough that I don't need to wet down before you rest your large bottom on me? Maybe it's just time to lose the false pride, succomb to gravity and begin taking a seat to pee. And this one isn't just for me, I've got complaints from half the bathroom on this one. How you manage to get urine on something that is 10 feet directly behind you, I'll never know, but it needs to change. Baby crusher had better aim as a toddler. Living conditions? Your not living your working. Oh yea, OSHA called, "They said **** YOU, your a toilet seat dummy." Hey i thought things we're fine and then you bit me. I still have the bruise. I contacted "The association for fat disgusting lard butts" and they say I may have a case against YOU. Stand when I pee? Dude I can;t even see you when Im standing. You know damn well I'm not allowed to use any of the other toilets in the house. They all petitioned Mrs. Crusher and they won you lost. Baby Crusher is taller and has a better line of sight than I do. Plus he still has his upstairs toilet pass. I don't. That's not urine 10 feet behind me, thats sweat thats drips off my head and fat neck. Boy your dumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Living conditions? Your not living your working. Oh yea, OSHA called, "They said **** YOU, your a toilet seat dummy." Hey i thought things we're fine and then you bit me. I still have the bruise. I contacted "The association for fat disgusting lard butts" and they say I may have a case against YOU. Stand when I pee? Dude I can;t even see you when Im standing. You know damn well I'm not allowed to use any of the other toilets in the house. They all petitioned Mrs. Crusher and they won you lost. Baby Crusher is taller and has a better line of sight than I do. Plus he still has his upstairs toilet pass. I don't. That's not urine 10 feet behind me, thats sweat thats drips off my head and fat neck. Boy your dumb. If i ever locate your testicles amongst the sea of blubber you call thighs, they are mine. This is just the begginning, better buy a plunger and a mop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visajets Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 The Crusher is a moderator correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 If i ever locate your testicles amongst the sea of blubber you call thighs, they are mine. This is just the begginning, better buy a plunger and a mop. Hey hey hey, no need to get nasty. We should talk this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 The Crusher is a moderator correct. I wish he'd moderate his food intake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 The Crusher is a moderator correct. Correction. The BEST moderator. Welcome to JN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 The Crusher is a moderator correct. Not anymore. I quit 9 times and was fired once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Not anymore. I quit 9 times and was fired once. So do fat guys go by the same rule as cats, where you have 9 lives? I don't didn't pay much attention in mammalogy class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 So do fat guys go by the same rule as cats, where you have 9 lives? I don't didn't pay much attention in mammalogy class. No we have 9 chins. Note: This is not a racist comment Im sorry and once again I resign if I offended anyone. Thanx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE ILK Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 That's not toilet seat, that's JiF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 That's not toilet seat, that's JiF! I wish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 I wish Finally something we agree on. Go sit on this Jif person and poop. I'll take surf vacations and give the golden showers from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Finally something we agree on. Go sit on this Jif person and poop. I'll take surf vacations and give the golden showers from now on. jiF is too awesome to poop on. You on the other hand are made for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visajets Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Is the toilet seat taking the fall here for Crushers Crabs......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Is the toilet seat taking the fall here for Crushers Crabs......... Actually they are more like lobsters, but yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Actually they are more like lobsters, but yes. Wow, you get the classy STD's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Wow, you get the classy STD's. Only the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crushers fat gut Posted May 12, 2011 Author Share Posted May 12, 2011 Wow, you get the classy STD's. His swamp a$$ would kill off anything living in that area. I've heard them discussing using it around the property line to keep all kinds of critters away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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