Bugg Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie. BY PETER W. SUDERMAN - - - - 1. Your girlfriend is a waitress, but could be a model. 2. A bus explodes. 3. A psychopathic millionaire devises an elaborate plan to murder you or someone you know ... 4. ... and you feel compelled to stop it. 5. You are Nicholas Cage. 6. Despite a total lack of training, you are able to shoot and fight with the accuracy and ability of a special-forces soldier. 7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model. 8. A building explodes. 9. After capturing you, a terrorist with a foreign accent reveals the details of his plot in a long-winded speech. 10. The light always hits your face in just the right way. 11. You are in a shootout on the streets of a major city ... 12. ... and it involves helicopters and rocket launchers. 13. Everyone around you is a model. 14. Teams of well-trained henchmen are shooting at you, but they all miss. 15. You are engaged in a knockdown-dragout brawl with the leader of a major crime organization ... 16. ... in slow motion. 17. Everything that has not yet exploded explodes. 18. You save the world. 19. Your name is Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomShane Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 LOL! Too funny. I can't forgive Bruckheimer for killing the Batman series with all that ridculousness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetheelz Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 LOL! Too funny. I can't forgive Bruckheimer for killing the Batman series with all that ridculousness. I thought that was Joel Schumacher?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 I thought that was Joel Schumacher?? It was.Shane is a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gun Of Bavaria Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie. BY PETER W. SUDERMAN - - - - 7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model. Why yes, yes I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BwanaZulia Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 It was.Shane is a fool. THE KING HAS NO CLOTHES!!! THE KING HAS NO CLOTHES!! Ahhhhh... (whimper, whimper). BZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugg Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Bugg wrote: Guide to Determine If You Are in a Jerry Bruckheimer Movie. BY PETER W. SUDERMAN - - - - 7. You are a cop or scientist, but could be a model. Why yes, yes I am. Sent this to 1 friend and a cousin who are in fact NYPD ESU cops with the caption"A lot of this may be true of you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al NYC Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Most of those could apply to any and all John Wu movies too...especially the slow motion one. Anyone ever see the article in The Onion, right after 9/11? Headline of "Terrorists turn NYC into scene from bad Bruckheimer movie" - or something to that effect. At the time, was a bit of levity that I think everyone needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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