Thanx to all of you

[Jetfan13]

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your

chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,

blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove

toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products

are atheists and refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with

a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water

buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume

sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda

in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number

for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,

Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn

me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks

with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and

leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an

email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying

for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the

$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special

e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a

large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a

thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it

actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's

neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.

[Green DNA]

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your

chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,

blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove

toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products

are atheists and refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with

a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water

buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume

sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda

in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number

for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,

Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn

me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks

with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and

leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an

email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying

for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the

$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special

e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a

large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a

thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it

actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's

neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.

I think you need to invest in a good spam filter

[Machiavelli]

I tried. I really did, but I simply couldn't force a chuckle.

[joewilly]

i thought some were pretty funny

[Bugg]

Yeah, but did you ge that exclusive email from that deposed Nigerian who needs your checking account and routing numbers to deposit his diamond funds into an American bank account?

[gg]

Yeah, but did you ge that exclusive email from that deposed Nigerian who needs your checking account and routing numbers to deposit his diamond funds into an American bank account?

wow! I GOT that email also! Are you telling me it is not real??? he sounded soooo genuine.

[Jetfan13]

wow! I GOT that email also! Are you telling me it is not real??? he sounded soooo genuine.

oh crap