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"Happy birthday to you..." Edition of Post of the Week - July 12th, 2007


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15 Days until the start of the 2007 NY Jets football season and I for one can't wait for it to start. I'm looking forward to the training camp reports and pictures, the debates about defensive linemen, arguments about the starting quarterback, and of course the World Famous "MILF Report" ala Jetcane. :) So, two weeks - one day, and this Bean will be a happy man again.

Anyhow, on to the good stuff - this week's nominations:


Originally Posted by Max

Smizzy isn't a dildo farmer anymore. He got laid off for sitting down on the job.

Yes, I have used that joke a few times now. But it still makes me laugh and that is all that is truly important.

(The Reaction: "Mother****er....you can't steal my joke , use it on me and get a POTW NOM...I already used this joke on Tabor you filthy joke theif!!

Oh...and thanks for all the birthday wishes...even though most of you secretly hope I choke to death on my birthday cake. I appreciate it." - Smizzy)

(Editor's Note: Laughter is the best medicine, and Smizzy as a former dildo farmer brings lots of medicine. By the way, I was not hoping for a - choking - death...)


Originally Posted by joebabyny

I would be veery surprised if this affected the third party dev commmunity. It is a huge ecosystem and it is built on an easy to program coundation. Besides it would be immposible for them to be everything to everyone or to thinkthey could.

Ps i am sittingonthe casino pier in seaside onmy iphone. The thing is awesome!

Originally Posted by Max

Dear IPhone Customer Service Dept:

My space bar doesn't seem to be working. Please look into this.



(Editor's Note: Space bar and a spell check - two things to develop for the iPhone if you want to make a mint. I'd take one in a heartbeat, though.)


Originally Posted by madmike1

booya I have found a common ground with thor.

Originally Posted by madmike1

I've just realized that it's not worth my time to post in the baseball fourm. I hope my stalkers are happy. I'm done here.

(Editor's Note: You have to say it isn't so - it isn't so. I say it isn't so - it isn't so. I say it isn't so - it isn't so. I say it isn't so - it isn't so. Say it. PS - What was up with Oats anyway?)


Topic: so how was you're 4th

Originally Posted by DHJF

After downing roughly 1/2 of a Heineken mini-keg and 8-10 snakebites, I woke up this morning to my wife asking me, "Why did you do that last night?"

I stare at her blankly, not knowing what the hell she's talking about.

Wife: You don't remember, do you?

Me: Uhhh, no. Did I embarass you?

Wife: No. You embarrassed yourself.

Me: Phew...

Wife: Weren't you cold?

Me: Cold? Umm, maybe you should fill in the blanks for me.

Turns out I stumbled home around 11:30PM, went to the freezer, pulled out a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, opened the slider that leads to the deck, and proceeded to eat the majority of the ice cream right out of the container on the deck. In the pouring rain. Bare ass naked.

The good thing is that I'm kinda starting to remember doing that. The bad thing is that I'm kinda starting to remember doing that. Thankfully the only ones to see me were my wife and maybe the old lady that lives in the house behind me.

Snakebites are baaaaaaad!

(Editor's Note: Brings a whole new meaning to "I'm your Ice Cream Man" now, doesn't it?)


Originally Posted by Sponsored Links


(The Nomination: "so, is it possible to nominate someone for a POTW because of their nickname and good execution of their nickname???" - Lil Bit Special)

(Editor's Note: Lol Bit Special - yes you can and yes you did - Sponsored Links is a funny dude - I wonder if he is sponsoring this - soothnation-800.jpg)


Originally Posted by joewilly

in timboks defence, I don't think he wants to be an a$$hole max, he just can't help himself

(Editor's Note: You are what you are, or is it you are what you eat?)


Topic: The Better Holiday?

Originally Posted by Buldawg

I look forward to the NFL Draft more than the 4th of July....Thanksgiving is the #1 holiday though....

(Editor's Note: Commie.)


Originally Posted by greengal

as always.. excelllent job gb!!!! you rock this world..!!!


how is it that none of my posts have been nominated recently??? honest to moses, i guess i will have to start posting about the last time i saw a turd next to a nakid scarllett johansson at kinkos or something!

jeez.... ther has to be someone out there that appreciates my sophisticated sense of humor!!

(The Nomination: "POTW nom! Disclaimer: Do you feel better now? " - Bill Parcells)

(Editor's Note: Thank you gg, my pal - I appreciate you (and kinkos mention always gets you a POTW NOM). :))



Originally Posted by JetFanByMarriage

What His Celeb Crush Says About Him

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Topic: Whats the strongers postion for the Jets heading into this upcoming season?

Originally Posted by DefenseWinsChampionships

I really think we have a sound team.

I go with Special teams.

I also think that the running game with Jones-Washington is going to spell Martin-Jordan all over again. We dont have the best O-Line around so I dont know if I can say that the RB position is the strongest position for the JEts... But other than Special teams I think I wanna say the backfield is going to be strong with a true run blocking fb we just added.

Originally Posted by brettw4rd

DWC is a bot. Its the middle of the night and he spawns these random threads out of nowhere. Although to credit him the topic is legit this time.

Defensive Backs. Rhodes Revis Dyson and whoever wins the battle between Smith and Coleman is a legit backfield.

(The Commentary: "DWC can't be a bot as bot's at least make use proper english!" - Gainzo)

(Editor's Note: Good points all around here - DWC is "bot-like", the Jets defensive secondary can and maybe should be very good by November, and Gainzo makes the call of the day - bots would use some semblance of English in their posts...)


Originally Posted by SouthernJet

ya, i agree, ,charlotte is the pure beauty of the group,,

and i also agree they are acting their age,,

I wouldnt know what to do if I had a wife who wasnt edgy and sexy..

it makes life more fun

Originally Posted by Verde

So you *like* your woman demanding that you shave your junk? lol.

(Editor's Note: Like? No, he expects it, my dear V. Don't you demand it of your men, too?)


Originally Posted by The Troll

I am not denying that. I am just saying that we shouldn't annoint Herman Edwards as the Humanitarian of the Year after the way the sniveling piece of **** slinked out of town.

Originally Posted by gangreenman

I disagree, leaving was very humanitarian and definately the right thing to do.

(Editor's Note: True enough. Herm leaving kept several thousand people from jumping off the upper deck in the Meadowlands and saved at least 5 or 6 players from being throw under a bus.)


Topic: A nice thread about Herm

Originally Posted by docdhc

I dislike Herm as much as anyone for the way he coached the team. I was very happy he left and could care less if he wasn't totally honest about his intentions. The main point of this thread, however, is to give credit where its due, and doing football camps for disadvantaged youths and teaching them life lessons is a very noble pursuit. Herm is a better person than he is a football coach and I wish him well except on NFL Sundays.

(Editor's Note: Herm only does those things to feed his own ego. While a good thing for the kids in question, it is not as pure a pursuit as you make it seem, IMO.)


Topic: A theory about the Mets...

Originally Posted by Arsis

I think it's the fact that they're just a boring team and that is why even though they're in first place and doing better than the Yankees their fans still spend more time discussing the yankees than they do the Mets. Just my 0.02 cents

Originally Posted by Jetcane

Wait. A thread was started by a Yanks fan about the Mets, claiming "their fans still spend more time discussing the yankees than they do the Mets."

As gg would say, "Oy!"

(Editor's Note: Anyone who quotes the famous gg "Oy!" is alright in my book - extra credit if he is the training camp MILF reporter)


Topic: "Bush League"

Originally Posted by 80

Thor is a bush league moderator.

Originally Posted by Thor99

Without a life. Don't forget that.

Plus, I'm not really a moderator. It was an April Fool's Day joke that has gone on way too long.

(Editor's Note: The joke is on you, Thor - you have to keep the job...)


Topic: What's the story behind your User Name?

Originally Posted by lawngnome o-line

One time when me and my friends were drinking we stole lawn gnomes from neighbors houses, reindeer, and a mr. and mrs. claus and made a football team. We got santa for the qb, mrs.santa claus for the rb, 4 reindeer for the wr's and 5 lawn gnomes which were the offensive line. It was a 4 wr, singleback set. The center lawngnome had a lantern which for some reason we couldn't get over it. But the 5 lawngnome offensive line was the reason for the name.

(Editor's Note: Got any pictures of that set-up - sounds pretty dag'on cool!)


Originally Posted by Ryno the Jet

Not old enough to remember vintage pee wee, eh?

Originally Posted by rick34125


(Editor's Note: I know who you are, but what am I? Ahhh, a criminal? mugshot-peewee100.jpg)


Topic: What's the story behind your User Name?

Originally Posted by mdrago4

mines pretty easy, and has nothing to do with rocky IV.

Originally Posted by Alk

Why did you have to tell me that? You just took a major drop in my personal poster ratings.

Originally Posted by mdrago4

I was receiving fake (at least i hope they were fake) death threats at my college for killing apollo creed.

Who else was cheering for the russian? he was so damned likeable.

(Editor's Note: "I must break you" and "You will lose" - yep, lovable.)


Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

shasta says he's a dude

Originally Posted by Jetfan13

sp does RuPaul...


(Editor's Note: Shasta is a cyber-drag-queen, RuPaul is just disgusting.)


Runner-up of the Week Sponsored by Jennifer Lopez

Topic: What's the story behind your User Name?

Originally Posted by joewilly

mine can be easily guessed but i'll spell it out anyway.

I was dating this hispanic chick, took her to the movies, dropped her off at her house & kissed her goodnight. the kiss turned quite passionate & we were gettin aroused. she reached between my legs & said OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is that joe willy???????????????

(Editor's Note: I nearly destroyed my computer spitting coffee at the screen after reading this one, papi. "joe willy" - too freakin' funny...and everyone needs to iighten up if you are offended at all - this is obviously just a joke.)


Originally Posted by 80

People who make reading the baseball forum worse than getting teeth pulled:

Red Sox: JBF

Mets: Dierking, SJ, Gimmeshelter

Yanks: madmike, Barton, shadowjet

Originally Posted by GimmeShelter

Funny only one of these posters plus yourself received a 30 day ban.

(Editor's Note: So 80, you dislike people who are not parrots?)


Originally Posted by greengal

if i had had my username be my name backwards.... i would be even more popular then i am now!!!

Originally Posted by vanDoug

Your real first name is Tuotupi ???

(Editor's Note: From what I hear it would be satatgib...we'd have to ask Mr. gg about Tuotupi)


Topic: Trojan Horse

Originally Posted by Green DNA

My son somehow has 2 Trojan Horse Viruses on his computer that cause all kinds of web ads to pop up continously. McAfee identified them, but cannot delete or quarantine the files. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how to get rid of these things? Thanks.

Originally Posted by Max

Tell him not to bother. They will only come back because of the sites that he visits. Tell him to blame it on his gene pool.

(Editor's Note: Do you mean to blame it on DNA's - uh - DNA?)


Topic: Tom Shane Fan Club!

Originally Posted by P2C

Came across this on Google by accident..


Originally Posted by Barton


Can we trade thor for tomshane, maybe throw in a poster to be named later (ecurb??)??

(Editor's Note: Ahhh, the good old days - I thought I deleted that a long time ago...)


Topic: The AL MVP debate

Originally Posted by Sharrow

Its funny how often people get into an argument here, find out they're not even arguing the same thing, and just keep on going.

(Editor's Note: Your expectations are too high, Sharrow - just be glad that they have a point.)


Originally Posted by Barton

Whats the best way to clean your keyboard after you make a mess on it? Baby Wipes? Windex and paper towel?

Originally Posted by rick34125

no, the best way is to use a #11 jets jersey.

(Editor's Note: Messy keyboard you say? Very interesting...not sure that #11 is gonna work on certain types of "messes"...yuck.)


Topic: Honesty

Originally Posted by Garbanza

Honesty ties in with integrity....which explains why I've never actually won POTW when clearly I've deserved to on a few occasions. It's a dishonest and corrupt system, I tell yah!

(Editor's Note: No corruption involved, Garb. While you are HOT and SEXY, you are just not that funny. Witty, intelligent (so sexy) and quick - yup - but not POTW kinda funny so far. But you are SEXY as all get out - or am I being dishonest? Hmmmmm.....)


Topic: Wrecking ball snaps loose, bounces down the street

Originally Posted by Alk

You can zip your pants back up Jets fans, this isn't a story about Dwayne Robertson.


(Editor's Note: It didn't mention butcher knives, so I knew it was not a story about DRob - dick. ;))


Originally Posted by Jetcane

How hot is it?

Today, I tried a new B&J flavor for the heck of it- Creme Brulee.


What flava R U going to eat next?

Originally Posted by Garb

Did you seriously just post that and NOT expect a rash of juvenile comments from the JN peanut gallery?

(Editor's Note: What's wrong with posting about enjoying B&J? Doesn't everyone enjoy a little B&J? I'm not sure what the problem is here, Garbie.)


Originally Posted by MrsTaborJet

So serious, gee.

With all those skeletons in your closet, JFBM must be an incredibly forgiving saint! No wonder she needs a vacation all the time.

Originally Posted by Thor99

Those aren't skeletons. They're 13 year old boys. He forgot to feed them, that's all.

(Editor's Note: Forgot to feed them my foot, there just wasn't anything left when he got through...)


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Topic: Hi you gals and guys....Im back from vacation.....

Originally Posted by dickkotite

A few thoughts on this trip:

LONDON- Cold, wet, cloudy, expensive and the sun sets at like 1030pm and rises at 400 am. Wierd! I have to say I enjoyed the place. The people were Very nice, just as all the travel brochures said.

In order to save money I hit the freebees: Museum of London (mummies, egyptian, Minoen stuff-very cool and free). The Imperial War Museum (Tanks, subs, guns, planes absolutley unbelievable for any war romantic like myself and free)

If you go to London the TOWER OF LONDON is the main attraction. about 32 bucks but worth it. Sit in the rooms where kings farted. I loved it.

Oh yea, I passed the battersea power station (pink floyd animals) and it was huge and awsome. That river thames is dangerous though... dont fall in

Overall, despite the costs, England kicked ass


AMSTERDAM - What can you say? coffee shop stops every 3 hours, hashish and indica everywhere (not that I did any) Pretty city. Relatively CHEAP all around. Found a great italian place with huge great personal pizzas for 5 euros. Strolling the park was nice, did that a bunch of times. People were either very nice or extremely snotty. take your pick. The bartenders and counter people refused in many places to come to you- one told us that we had to "come to her" if we expected service lol. I went to some windmill city 20 minutes away, ity was gay.

DELFT-This is about an hour or two south of AMS. It is very similar but different. Very cute town to explore I regret spending only 2 hours there on my way to.....

BRUGGE, Belgium - (I have to say, except for ams and delft, Holland is a total POS. Its like driving through Kansas)

If you want the most pristine and beautiful medieval city in the world, Brugge lived up to the hype big time. I spent 4 days there, but I should have only spent 2 or 3 being that it was EXPENSIVE and got to be somewhat boring because there isnt much to do except walk and after a while I found myself at the same places over and over again. Still, everyone should visit once before they die. I climbed the belfry, saw the blood of christ and saw some freak swimming at midnight in the cold and dirty canals. Food was a killer - 25 euros a head for dinner was common. My wife and I had a bad burger and fries each and it was over 18 US. Then, we found another cheaper italian place where we had decent, not great pasta for about the same. The people were a bit snooty, though

FLANDERS FIELDS - getting bored with Brugge, we jumped in the car and strolled the countryside. Found many of the british and canadian cemeteries from ww1. Let me tell you, belgium is a very pretty and SPOTLESS country.....

LILE, FRANCE - As we drove around we found ourselves close to the french border. Being sick of expensive food in Brugge we decided to go to LILE. Somehow, I managed to get into frances 3rd largest city, find the old section, find parking and get out to find the highway back to brugge w/o getting lost. All luck... Anyway, the old sections was very nice. strolled for a few hours and sat down for a delicious steak meal with black sauce. Ironically, the french people were nice and the prices were relatively cheap. France always get a bum rap from americans who have never been out of kansas. Viva la france!

CROATIA - Flew to HR to be with family for 4 weeks. As usual, it didnt dissapoint, but I'm partial of course. Now in eastern europe, our dollar went far. Took a side trip to DUBROVNIK, the jewel of the adriatic. Awsome. We found a little door with a secret corridor in the southern wall of the city, I checked it out and there was the COOLEST cafe/bar ever. It is just outside the wall, set up on the natural rock with the sea underneath us everywhere for miles. There were no guard rails. Grab your drink and find a table....if you fall off the cliff too bad. This was also the most expensive place in all of HR. a large beer and soda cost almost $8 american. Thats expensive for HR. Usually, we had a nice pizza at a seaside cafe with a beer and a glass for wine for $9 or $10

man i cant believe i wrote so much

Originally Posted by Alk

Welcome back, now when are you leaving on vacation again?

(Editor's Note: Wow, dk was gone for that long and I didn't even notice...)


Topic: They're Gonna Make Her Go To Rehab and she should go, go, go

Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

Fans' fury at Amy wino

July 06, 2007

AMY WINEHOUSE has some explaining to do.

The Camden Caner disappointed thousands of fans by pulling out of her sell-out Summer Pops gig in Liverpool on Wednesday night, claiming she was “exhausted”.

But I can reveal the singer was actually propping up the bar at her London local The Hawley Arms when she was supposed to be entertaining paying fans.

Eagle-eyed Bizarre reader and Hawley regular Amber Locke sent me a snap of Amy with husband Blake Fielder-Civil at the puband ordering an ale at 8.45pm.

I can also tell you Amy spent the entire day in the same boozer 24 hours earlier on another marathon booze session. No wonder she’s knackered.

I tried to contact Amy yesterday for an explanation, but her management must have been too tired to get back to me and I was fobbed off with a lame “no comment”.

For somebody so exhausted, Amy made the 240 miles from Merseyside to north London in double quick time.

Amy claims it was late in the afternoon that she was told by a doctor in her Liverpool hotel she was unfit to perform.

Thousands who queued in the rain for the gig were told she wouldn’t be appearing shortly before 7pm.

But Amy managed to get herself to Camden well before 9pm decked out in her finest threads for a couple of sherries with pals.

For somebody so exhausted, she moved her scrawny backside to London pretty quickly.

The no-show left 4,500 followers glum-faced and angry as they trudged through the mud at Aintree Racecourse clutching £24 tickets.

Originally Posted by Big Al NYC

She's looking pretty hot these days.


Originally Posted by joewilly

yeah, looks like the alchohal is filling her out nicely

Originally Posted by Garb

Such a pretty girl - gone. Holy cow, she looks awful. If that's what happens from TOO MUCH drinking - stop frickin' drinking. A quick look in the mirror ought to scare her straight.

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

her Uncle Fester would be happy

(Editor's Note: 53chapFester_lightbulb_ani.gif - I don't see the resemblance at all, SJ - maybe you meant Uncle Jack_Skellington? Image:Jack.skeleton.jpgjack.jpg)


Topic: Jets Training Camp 2007

Originally Posted by Barton

Prepare to hear random camp reports on Chad throwing "lasers" and "rockets".

Of the 5 yard variety, that is.

(Editor's Note: Hey B, to an ant, that's quite a distance to throw anything. You need some perspective, my boy...)


Originally Posted by MasonJet

I've met 6-year olds with more maturity than you.

Originally Posted by Max

If you see them again please ask them to start posting here! Thanks.

(Editor's Note: Wow, JN really is going to merge with JI. Pity.)


And this week's winner:

Topic: ESPN rates CHAd as 12th Best QB

Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

the big difference between some of us and you barton and I mean no offense here is WE HAVE NO FRIGGING PERSONAL AGENDAS-WE want whatever and WHOever is best for the Jets TEAM-if it's Chad then we're ALL for Chad if it's gonna be Clemens then great we're all for him too-but the sad truth is this;he can't beat Chad out and there is some doubt that he'll even beat out Oakland's 3rd stringer from last year...We all WANT him to be the next QB-when he EARNS IT and only then

Congratulations to one of my favorite JN posters, the one, the only, Mr. SoFlaJets on his POTW win for this week! SoFla wins not because he took a 2x4 (actually, 2x4's are really 1.5x3.5's, but that's too hard to say), but because he makes a great point in doing so. I'm rooting for the laundry folks, and if the guy wearing #10 - even if it was SJ or Smizzy - is the best QB, then I'm all about #10 being the QB. Do I like the current #10's outlook on life and work ethic - absolutely, but if another QB is better, then let the man play and sit #10 down. It's all about the team - the laundry as the kids say - and not about the people. Actually, that's not totally true (everyone loves a good story, right?), but it's close enough for 6:15am. Great post, SoFla - wear the badge with pride:


Runner-up of the Week goes to Sponsored Links - who is that guy/gal/it anyway?

That's almost all I've got for you this week. Almost. There are two other important matters I must mention this week:

#1 - If you like to write or want to share your knowledge of the Jets with the rest of us, consider contributing a story to the Jets Wiki here at JN. Funny in your writing ok, but keep it in check and on topic, please. You can visit the wiki here -> http://www.jetnation.com/JetsWiki and log in with your username from the forums to start contributing.

#2 - I have to send a big happy birthday to my little boy, aka "'lil Beans" - he's 5 years old today and one of the best little people you would ever want to meet.


Happy birthday to you, 'lil guy - you're the best!

That's all for now, y'all be (and stay) cool!


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Congrats SFJ!

Great job again Beans! and a happy 5th birthday to your son. ;)

Thanks BP. ;)

thanks guys and that is one beautiful boy you got there Beans

You 'da bomb, SoFla. :D



Ha! I love it!

Congrats SFJ, nice job beans, and happy fifth birthday to lil beans.

Thanks for the well wishes

nice job beens. maybe next time we can get more pictures of pe-we-herman.



Ohhhh, Nooooooo......

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