Bring back NFL football Saturday's in December

[Matt39]

The NFL Is Phasing Out Saturday Afternoon Football Because They Hate You

Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed.

Every sportswriter has a pet cause, one he brings up again and again and again until you want to punch him in the face. For Peter King, it's getting Ed Sabol in the Hall. For Simmons, it was getting HORSE at the NBA All-Star Game. For Gregg Easterbrook, it's exterminating the Jews. Once a sportswriter has a pet cause, he won't let that sh*t go until it's resolved.

I am not immune to this. I have a pet cause as well. And that pet cause is getting NFL football back on TV during Saturday afternoons in December. It has now been five years since the NFL last played an afternoon game on a Saturday in December. Those Saturday games used to be a mainstay of the NFL schedule, until the NFL abruptly dropped them after they decided to stage a Saturday Night game instead. I never understood the logic of that decision. It's not as if Saturday afternoon games would have cannibalized the night game. I am like a good running back: My laziness grows stronger as the games wear on. Nevertheless, the NFL dropped those afternoon games. And this year, they're only staging ONE Saturday night game, which is the Christmas Night game this week between Dallas and Arizona. BARF.

I asked Mike Florio if the NFL would ever consider bringing those games back onto the schedule. Here's what he said:

I doubt it — Saturdays in December are a ratings wasteland.

And yes, that's true. But there's the thing: They still stage wild card and divisional playoff games on Saturdays, don't they? So why the **** can't they throw us a bone and stage a couple of regular season games on Saturday as well? Furthermore, the NFL isn't robbing their Sunday by staging two Saturday games. It's just one more revenue stream to crassly exploit during the course of the season. It takes NOTHING away.

Maybe Saturdays are a ratings wasteland, but that's because there's no ******* football on. Look at this article the Times ran on the NFL's ratings the other day. The NFL is invulnerable to virtually every downward ratings trend of the past decade. People can't get enough of this sh*t. If there's an NFL game to watch on Saturday at 4PM, I'm not gonna say to myself, "No, wait! It's Saturday! I don't watch TV on Saturday! THAT'S DREW'S QUIET TIME!" **** that. I am fully on board and ready for sloth. Because as it stands right now, my December Saturdays are a gigantic void of SUCK.

Now, the NFL isn't the only party to blame for this. College football also deserves your scorn. December is the time of month when ****tarded people like Jim Delany decide to spend four weeks wiping their a$$ with potential playoff profits. Jim Delany is a stupid, arrogant, pathetic excuse for a human being. And he probably ****s cows. Anyone who favors the BCS over a college playoff is essentially saying they don't enjoy the sport of football, because they're willing to wait FIVE GODDAMN WEEKS between one college game and the next. Only Proposition Jason Whitlock is stupid enough to support a system like that.

The NFL has the product available right now to correct this problem. All Roger Goodell has to do is throw down his Ginger Hammer and PRESTO! Saturday afternoon NFL football returns in a relative snap. But he shows no inclination of doing so. Calling him names and threatening to poop on his lawn hasn't worked. So I'm forced to go with the nuclear option here.

/gets on knees

PLEASE. Please, sir. I'm begging you. It's December. It's very cold, and I don't have anything to do. These two kids I live with? They're ******* INSANE. All they do is fight and yell and grab the same toy when there are HUNDREDS of other ******* toys lying around that they could easily access without a struggle. Please, sir. YOU ARE KILLING ME. December shouldn't be a time bereft of football. I shouldn't have to turn on my TV on Saturdays before the New Year and see ******* Dick Vitale. That is wrong and utterly inappropriate. This should be the time when football really gets going, when there are two triple-headers every weekend and I'm free to stuff all the Cheez-Its into my facehole that I like. Don't deprive me of that pleasure. Why would you do that? Is it because you're a Socialist? It is, isn't it? YOU WANT US TO LIVE BY YOUR RULES AND BEG FOR TOILET PAPER STAMPS. YOU RED ****. YOU ARE EVIL. GIMME MY ******* FOOTBALL BACK DAMN YOUR EYES!

I think I've made my point. Merry Christmas, gang! Onto the Jamboroo.

[BP]

I miss Saturday football after the college season is over. as I think everybody does. the NFL is not very smart.

[visajets]

If the Jets and Giants both make the playoffs and draw home field advantage. The NFL wont have a choice.

[GodWearsAGrayHoodie]

If the Jets and Giants both make the playoffs and draw home field advantage. The NFL wont have a choice.

You are confusing December and January. This is the phasing out of Dec. Saturday night games, not the phasing out of January sat playoff games.

But the NFL would have a problem if the Jets and Giants were to both host the AFCCG and NFCCG

[visajets]

You are confusing December and January. This is the phasing out of Dec. Saturday night games, not the phasing out of January sat playoff games.

Oh my bad. Thats what happens when you start drinking at 10am.

[Lil Bit Special]

Hate Thursday night games. Hate. Refuse to watch unless the jets play.

Leave football on sunday and monday. and spend some time wit' cho' bitches on saturdays.

[Blackout]

Hate Thursday night games. Hate. Refuse to watch unless the jets play.

Leave football on sunday and monday. and spend some time wit' cho' bitches on saturdays.

i hate thursday games because they aren't on up here on Crime Warner Gayble

[aec4]

I miss Saturday football after the college season is over. as I think everybody does. the NFL is not very smart.

NFL is not allowed to compete with college games, so they wouldn't be allowed to do this until December 10th now.

Saturday also happens to be the worst TV ratings day, which is another reason why these went away.

Thursdays happen to be the biggest TV rating day......

[Bugg]

You are confusing December and January. This is the phasing out of Dec. Saturday night games, not the phasing out of January sat playoff games.

But the NFL would have a problem if the Jets and Giants were to both host the AFCCG and NFCCG

The plan would be one would play Saturday night, the other on Sunday.

[serphnx]

Having that extra one that nobody watches on Thursday was pointless enough, now people are complaining about the Saturday game? Well there's a Saturday game right now that nobody is watching. If we're going to split them, have several on Saturday and have them on national TV like the Sunday games are. That Thursday game is so pointless too so get rid of it. Have 7 on Saturday, 7 early and late Sunday, then SNF, then MNF, and that's it. Get rid of the dumb broadcast rules so that both FOX and CBS air 2 games that go up against each other for the first 4 time slots. That way people have access to all but 6 games a week and can choose accordingly.