MERGED: WOW - Jay Mohr has some choice words

[faba]

Big Dave, where did you lived before? Guess you did not lived in the NY or NJ area.

You know things are bad when someone in North Carolina says the price of living is high there- check out New York and New Jersey -we are the experts in that category

[Preston Howley III]

hey moses how many playoff appearances did the Jets have in the 10 years prior to Herm?

So what?

Coslet begag Carrol, Carrol begat Kotite...

Then Parcells took over a 1-15 and got them to 9-7, overnight. I'll make you happy and Blame Parcells for taking the ball out of O'Donnell's hand and put it in Leon Johnson's, and that's why the Jets didn't make the playoffs (the Hermaphrodite yardstick by which to measure a HC) that year. 1998 was the Jets second greatest season. Unfortunetly, the Jets had Curtis Martin and the Broncos had Terrel Davis.

In 1999, Parells went 8-8 with Rick Mirer, Tom Tupa, and Ray Lucas.

2000- Al Groh misses the playoffs by one game; that team could have finished 11-5 if Jon Hall hits a 37 yarder or Vinny doesn't throw a pick to McCallister before the half of the Ravens game. Bad luck, right?

Now let's take a look at what good luck likes like:

Herm's first season is an unmitigated disaster. The man and his team were booed on opening day. Week two is cancelled, compliments of Osama Bin Laden. The Jets would have finished 2001 9-7 and missed the playoffs if that game wasn't tagged onto the end of the season.

Herm simply outlucked Groh.

Herm's second season was a carbon copy of 2001, the team came out of the gate unprepared and confused and out of shape. They got their a*ses kicked for 7 weeks, but turned the season around in San Diego. Still managed to blow a game in Chicago with a HORRIBLE game plan. Olindo Mare pulls a Jon Hall and amazingly, the Jets backdoor into a "sh*t happens" division title at 9-7. Dolphins blow division title and miss the playoffs.

2003- A losing season. First one since 1996. How many losing seasons did Parcells/Groh have, Bit?

2004- Cup cake schedule, still almost lost to the Niners and Bills, but squeaked by to start the season 5-0. Finished? 5-6, losing 4 out of their last 6 games. They made the playoffs because the Bills starters could not even beat the Steelers 3rd stringers, even though the Bills had everything to play for and the Steelers had nothing to play for. Is this a good time for the Hermaphrodites to segue in their comparisons of Herm and Cowher?

A more apt comparison would be Herm and Wannstedt. Because every reason that Wannstedt was fired, Herm has "experienced" the same circumstances. And yet...

Well, there you have it Bit.

[Mean Papi Green]

I have an Idea...Im gonna start selling my old SI magazines for $55 each on Ebay.

If he can find 25 people who want to throw money away on stuff that the use to get for free...then Im sure I can find a couple fools on Ebay who will buy my old sports news mags for $55 a pop.

No?

try selling your old hustlers or cherrys......that is if you can get the pages open.................

[Cant Hackett]

try selling your old hustlers or cherrys......that is if you can get the pages open.................

[Scott Dierking]

So what?

Coslet begag Carrol, Carrol begat Kotite...

Then Parcells took over a 1-15 and got them to 9-7, overnight. I'll make you happy and Blame Parcells for taking the ball out of O'Donnell's hand and put it in Leon Johnson's, and that's why the Jets didn't make the playoffs (the Hermaphrodite yardstick by which to measure a HC) that year. 1998 was the Jets second greatest season. Unfortunetly, the Jets had Curtis Martin and the Broncos had Terrel Davis.

In 1999, Parells went 8-8 with Rick Mirer, Tom Tupa, and Ray Lucas.

2000- Al Groh misses the playoffs by one game; that team could have finished 11-5 if Jon Hall hits a 37 yarder or Vinny doesn't throw a pick to McCallister before the half of the Ravens game. Bad luck, right?

Now let's take a look at what good luck likes like:

Herm's first season is an unmitigated disaster. The man and his team were booed on opening day. Week two is cancelled, compliments of Osama Bin Laden. The Jets would have finished 2001 9-7 and missed the playoffs if that game wasn't tagged onto the end of the season.

Herm simply outlucked Groh.

Herm's second season was a carbon copy of 2001, the team came out of the gate unprepared and confused and out of shape. They got their a*ses kicked for 7 weeks, but turned the season around in San Diego. Still managed to blow a game in Chicago with a HORRIBLE game plan. Olindo Mare pulls a Jon Hall and amazingly, the Jets backdoor into a "sh*t happens" division title at 9-7. Dolphins blow division title and miss the playoffs.

2003- A losing season. First one since 1996. How many losing seasons did Parcells/Groh have, Bit?

2004- Cup cake schedule, still almost lost to the Niners and Bills, but squeaked by to start the season 5-0. Finished? 5-6, losing 4 out of their last 6 games. They made the playoffs because the Bills starters could not even beat the Steelers 3rd stringers, even though the Bills had everything to play for and the Steelers had nothing to play for. Is this a good time for the Hermaphrodites to segue in their comparisons of Herm and Cowher?

A more apt comparison would be Herm and Wannstedt. Because every reason that Wannstedt was fired, Herm has "experienced" the same circumstances. And yet...

Well, there you have it Bit.

Moses, to sum up your post as I read it:

Bad luck unfortunately happens to coaches other than Herm.

Good luck only happens to Herm.

If thsi is the case, maybe Herm should be kept, because he is one that is bound to get REALLY lucky at some point.

[Scott Dierking]

So what?

Coslet begag Carrol, Carrol begat Kotite...

Then Parcells took over a 1-15 and got them to 9-7, overnight. I'll make you happy and Blame Parcells for taking the ball out of O'Donnell's hand and put it in Leon Johnson's, and that's why the Jets didn't make the playoffs (the Hermaphrodite yardstick by which to measure a HC) that year. 1998 was the Jets second greatest season. Unfortunetly, the Jets had Curtis Martin and the Broncos had Terrel Davis.

In 1999, Parells went 8-8 with Rick Mirer, Tom Tupa, and Ray Lucas.

2000- Al Groh misses the playoffs by one game; that team could have finished 11-5 if Jon Hall hits a 37 yarder or Vinny doesn't throw a pick to McCallister before the half of the Ravens game. Bad luck, right?

Now let's take a look at what good luck likes like:

Herm's first season is an unmitigated disaster. The man and his team were booed on opening day. Week two is cancelled, compliments of Osama Bin Laden. The Jets would have finished 2001 9-7 and missed the playoffs if that game wasn't tagged onto the end of the season.

Herm simply outlucked Groh.

Herm's second season was a carbon copy of 2001, the team came out of the gate unprepared and confused and out of shape. They got their a*ses kicked for 7 weeks, but turned the season around in San Diego. Still managed to blow a game in Chicago with a HORRIBLE game plan. Olindo Mare pulls a Jon Hall and amazingly, the Jets backdoor into a "sh*t happens" division title at 9-7. Dolphins blow division title and miss the playoffs.

2003- A losing season. First one since 1996. How many losing seasons did Parcells/Groh have, Bit?

2004- Cup cake schedule, still almost lost to the Niners and Bills, but squeaked by to start the season 5-0. Finished? 5-6, losing 4 out of their last 6 games. They made the playoffs because the Bills starters could not even beat the Steelers 3rd stringers, even though the Bills had everything to play for and the Steelers had nothing to play for. Is this a good time for the Hermaphrodites to segue in their comparisons of Herm and Cowher?

A more apt comparison would be Herm and Wannstedt. Because every reason that Wannstedt was fired, Herm has "experienced" the same circumstances. And yet...

Well, there you have it Bit.

Double Post

[Bugg]

Jay Mohr bangs Nicky soemthing or other and does blow off hooker's belly buttons, so, since he's a celebrity, he's right. Just ask him.

Two things-seeing how Peter King-Mohr's "co-worker" at SI(who must be really happy to get Hollywooded by his bosses on his beat)knocked Edwards' incessant injury excuse, is Mohr going to call him a jerk too? And Is Sooth going to have his partner Canizzaro explain how he called a good chunk his own $55 per customers knaves and fools the second Mohr asked him?

Hey-you guys are IMBECILES! Get sloppy 2nds-from the NY Post via Canizzaro and Bobcat via Jay Jay! All

at JI! All for $55!

[PatsFanTX]

124 where the hell you been man?

Massaging Nugent's noodle leg.

[Mean Papi Green]

.h

[Mean Papi Green]

Massaging Nugent's middle leg.

oh yeah, can you do mine next????

[Ranger]

Jay Mohr bangs Nicky soemthing or other and does blow off hooker's belly buttons, so, since he's a celebrity, he's right. Just ask him.

Two things-seeing how Peter King-Mohr's "co-worker" at SI(who must be really happy to get Hollywooded by his bosses on his beat)knocked Edwards' incessant injury excuse, is Mohr going to call him a jerk too? And Is Sooth going to have his partner Canizzaro explain how he called a good chunk his own $55 per customers knaves and fools the second Mohr asked him?

Hey-you guys are IMBECILES! Get sloppy 2nds-from the NY Post via Canizzaro and Bobcat via Jay Jay! All

at JI! All for $55!

I would take Jay Mohr's opinion of Peter King's any day. Peter King is too busy sucking off Brady and Bellichick to see anything else going on in the NFL.

P.S. I found this article on King hilarious:

"Rant: Why I Hate SI's Peter King!"

By Mike Round

Occasionally, a person comes along that really gets under your skin. They stand for everything you despise, their every action makes the hairs on your arms and neck stand on end, as if you're back at school and the teacher is scrapping his nails down the blackboard. The world of sports and entertainment is full of loathsome cretins, but no one moves me to such pure hatred as Peter King, celebrated Sports Illustrated NFL writer and TV analyst.

***

I started reading Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column many years ago. It was an interesting column back then, full of little insights behind the scenes that the ordinary fan had no hope of being party to. It was written in a witty style, with a few strategically placed anecdotes about the writer's home life and other interests.

Peter King got some TV work, too, and I quite enjoyed his pieces, firstly on CNN, then on HBO. He patently knew the NFL and wasn't prone to outrageous hype or delivering his message with a megaphone. He didn't have Paul Zimmerman's dry wit or cynical outlook, but in a sport short of decent writers, he was must-read.

I started to notice a change in King's columns during the rise of the St. Louis Rams' to prominence. He quite obviously admired Mike Martz, then offensive coordinator to Dick Vermeil, and took every opportunity to heap fulsome praise on his revolutionary thinking. Nothing wrong in that per se; almost every NFL writer was doing the same, but Peter King often crosses the line between praise and sycophancy, something he has consistently done with Martz since 1999.

Mike Martz should have been fired by Georgia Frontiere years ago and many Rams fans feel the same. He inherited the most talented team in the NFL from Dick Vermeil and has failed consistently to harness that talent. Sure, he reached a Super Bowl, but was comprehensively out coached by Bill Belichick.

Yet King has constantly tooted Martzs' horn, describing him in increasingly glowing terms as the pressure in St. Louis mounted. Martz leaves starters on the field in pointless situations, he over-uses Marshall Faulk, his drafts are mediocre, and his man management skills are dubious. King ignores all those failings and you can't help but think it's because the man is his friend.

Phil Simms is also King's friend -- you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to work that out. In the close, macho boys club atmosphere of the NFL, it's hardly surprising that a New Jersey-based NFL writer would be close to the ex-Giants QB, now media analyst at CBS. King must have known Chris Simms, son of Phil, since he was knee-high.

Hardly any serious NFL analyst, let alone Texas Longhorn fan, considers Chris Simms a potential NFL-caliber QB, yet Peter King led a long campaign to boost Chris Simms's draft stock way before the 2003 draft, where Simms went in the third-round to Tampa Bay.

During his prominent college career, Simms could never completely beat out the less-talented, but gutsy Major Applewhite. When he did, especially in big games, Simms fluffed his chance, showing a panicky nature and poor decision-making. Yet, even after the draft and into camp, King was using his MMQB column to promote Simms as the QB of the future in Tampa, with absolutely no evidence to back it up, except of course his long friendship with his father.

Martz, the love-in with Bill Parcells, the shameless plugging of Chris Simms, the general sycophancy towards obvious NFL buddies, the complete failure to even remotely criticize Ray Lewis, the coffee drivel, the general self-importance -- it was all starting to bug me by this time last year. Then I exploded into total rage during his column on March 31st, 2003.

King was in Arizona for the owners meetings at the time and gleefully recounted a story about the time he spent watching the A's play the Diamondbacks in spring training. To cut a long story short, a Miguel Tejada foul ball off Randy Johnson disappeared into an off-limits area of the stadium. King and a 7-year-old boy went to retrieve the ball, King using his status and imagined celebrity to persuade the guard to let him through the gate. The boy just winged it.

King knew which of the balls in that area was the actual foul ball Tejada hit. Instead of just tossing the ball to a young kid, the bloated, pompous, Norm Peterson lookalike used his 95 IQ to steer the kid to a different foul ball, thus pocketing the actual one, which must have a street value of at least $5. He finished the piece by thanking his new security guard buddy, now known as Matt, and concluding smugly, "And now you know why I have the best job on earth."

I had to read this section of his article twice, such was my state of bewilderment. How could a semi-famous sportswriter be so classless and selfish? He could get a signed baseball from any player in the game just by picking up the phone. And the sheer nerve of proudly recalling the whole tawdry incident to make the vast proletariat realize that we were in the presence of a lucky and important man.

Needless to say, King was inundated with irate letters. He didn't print mine, which didn't surprise me as I had exhausted my extensive vocabulary of Anglo-Saxon expletives. His explanation of the event and self-justification only served to enrage the readership more. I'll reprint his self-serving reasoning verbatim so as you can make the call:

"Wow. The anger. The rage. I introduced myself to a guard and asked if I could get a foul ball. I walked to get the foul ball. A 7-year-old boy passed through the same gate, without permission, as the guard called after him to come back. I picked up the ball I thought was hit by Miguel Tejada. The kid picked up the ball he thought was hit by Tejada. I'm supposed to convince this kid who snuck through the gate that he doesn't have the right ball and give him mine? I had permission to get the ball I got. The 7-year-old boy stole his. And I "cheated" him out of the ball? I can see how you'd be offended that I tried to make the kid feel good by telling him he had the real ball, because I told what I believed to be a lie, even though it was not a malicious one. Maybe that's wrong. But is it right to be somewhere you shouldn't be and, technically, to possess stolen property?"

So here we have a fat, smug, wealthy, self-satisfied sportswriter -- a man used to the finest things in life -- attempting to portray a 7-year-old boy as a delinquent who "steals" private property. All because Matt, his newly acquired "friend," arbitrarily decided that King, not the non-celebrity boy, could have the ball. I wrote to King, asking him if he planned to invite his new buddy Matt the Security Guard to his Montclair, New Jersey home. I await a reply.

By now, King had descended into blustery self-importance, a man far removed from his days as a plain old beat writer. He started criticizing fellow passengers on airlines, taking one family to task for daring to travel from the West Coast to the East after 8 PM and inconveniencing him with their "noisy" children. Again, he was deluged with complaints, with readers pointing out that families have numerous reasons for travelling at all times, including emergencies, family deaths, and plain old expense.

In September, we got this from King. "I, as well as most of my flying companions on an American flight from Newark to St. Louis last Thursday, would like to thank the graying 307-pound gentleman in 5B for drinking two red wines while waiting for takeoff, then sucking down a double rum right after takeoff, then inhaling the turkey-on-croissant, then snoring for the final 60 minutes of the trip, emitting a guttural sound, and the foulest drunk's breath on earth. We're hoping you had quite a nice headache when you got to work, or home, that afternoon. One question: what kind of life, or job, do you have, to be drinking heavily at noon on a weekday?"

Ignoring the fact that King looks way over 250 lb. himself and no doubt his breath isn't always Colgate-fresh, how on earth does King work out that this guy was drunk on two glasses of red wine and a double rum? The guy weighs 300 lb.! At that weight, you can drink a brewery and hardly notice it -- I know I've tried! How does King know the guy hadn't been working all night? What gives him the right to call this guy out on a prominent media behemoth like CNN?

One day, I pray I'm on a flight next to the bloated King, his vast butt shoehorned into an aisle seat while I get the window view. I swear I'd eat the entire contents of the trolley, emitting disgusting noises from every orifice for the duration, accidentally spilling my red wine onto his expensive laptop, whilst talking loudly to anyone who would listen about my hatred for his beloved Boston Red Sox. Of course, I'd need a lot of bathroom breaks, too.

Peter King has always used his columns to recount stories from his home life. We sympathized when he lost his dog and his mother -- separately, of course, the dog wasn't his mother. The man is rightly proud of his daughters, both of whom seem to live normal suburban lives. Gradually, the family tales took up more and more space, particularly Mary Beth's sporting career. This self-indulgence took on a whole new dimension last May when his MMQB column included 2006 words on Mary Beth's latest softball game. Yes, that's two thousand, not two hundred and six.

Credit King for printing his detractor's mail. From King-country, Boston, Brian wrote, "For the past six months, every one of your columns oozes self-importance, name-dropping, and narcissistic tendencies as epitomized by you vicariously living through your daughter. What I read from you now is an astonishing chronicle of a man who has thoroughly outgrown his britches, whose ego knows no bounds, who desperately seeks to become the story instead of covering it. Your blustery arrogance is totally despicable. When did you start hating fans?"

I couldn't have put it better myself, Brian. But Peter King is too far-gone to learn from his critics. At the draft combine, he took great delight in naming the poor sap that wet himself in fear or through sheer nerves. Again, a deluge of complaints at his lack of discretion and apparent delight in humiliating some poor college kid.

Hot on the heels of this faux pas came the thoroughly Anglo-Saxon King ridiculing Willie and Debra Jackson for naming their son D'Qwell. Having named your own daughter Mary Beth, you would probably keep quiet on the subject of naming kids, but not King. Even though his own daughter sounds like she should be a Walton, King blasted the Jackson's in by now his normal arrogant style, prompting another round of abuse from readers.

King's columns are still somehow fixating, but like a road accident for entirely the wrong reasons. I don't read for his insights any longer -- if I want information allied to humor, the ever-excellent Dr. Z is the man. King is there to raise the blood pressure, to spark another round of bile and vitriol. I've never hated a public figure more than I hate Peter King. I don't think I think that -- I know I think that.

[stormshadow19]

King's a tried and true a-hole.

Jay Mohr kicks ass, however.

[Preston Howley III]

Moses, to sum up your post as I read it:

Bad luck unfortunately happens to coaches other than Herm.

Good luck only happens to Herm.

If thsi is the case, maybe Herm should be kept, because he is one that is bound to get REALLY lucky at some point.

Nice angle, Scott, and I understand why you would take it.

To stick with that theme, I'll just say that, long story short, Hermy's luck is all run out.

[PatsFanTX]

To stick with that theme, I'll just say that, long story short, Hermy's luck is all run out.

Friggn' Hermy has more lives than a cat.

Five years into it, he is no better (or smarter) than the day he took the job.

How Jet fans can defend this Bozo, I'll never know.

[Preston Howley III]

If I was a JI premium member I would be super pissed off. Not sure how they missed this.

Smizzy, check this out:

http://www.jetsinsider.net/forums/showthread.php?t=105993

I like how Jay Mohr did a detour around this thread. I also like the way Sooth went out of his way to plant a hickey on Sar's glut.

[stormshadow19]

Freakin outstanding... gotta love the apologists. Bloody hell...

And all the ass kissing... where do they think they're at? JetNation?

[Preston Howley III]

I wish Jay Mohr-on would come here.

[Smizzy]

These must have been a very stressful 2 days for the for the Sooth.

What a tangled web we weave.

[Smizzy]

* Side Note*

I got this Pm today... " Tell Bitonti he sleeps with the fishes " ...not sure what it means but im sure it has something to do with starting this thread.

[stormshadow19]

I wish Jay Mohr-on would come here.

Why? I mean, Jay's probably cool and all, but all that attention he'd bring. It'd bring the 13 year old idiots. We already had one (but we were able to fix EB), but I don't know if we'd be able to fix a whole mess of them.

[Bugg]

RBL-

I'll agree this much-having your dad write obvious makeup columns about your family life in a national magazine/website while you start Colgate is about as awful a thing as you could do to a freshman, and even worse when it's a girl.I can only suspect he did something to feel the obligation to write about his daughter.

Still, how would you like it if as a seasonsed, well-paid NFL senior writer your magazine one fine day hires some Hollywood comedian who's basically a fan to write about football? And said comedian precedes to say that one of your main points about the Jets-that Edwards throws around injuries as an excuse way too often-is dead wrong?

[Latinlawyer]

Somewhere on Long Island, there is a man with a goatee bleeding out of his anus.

That is because he watches Shawshank redemption and reenacts his favorite parts...

LL

[Preston Howley III]

Moses, to sum up your post as I read it:

Bad luck unfortunately happens to coaches other than Herm.

Good luck only happens to Herm.

If thsi is the case, maybe Herm should be kept, because he is one that is bound to get REALLY lucky at some point.

Maybe "luck" was the wrong word.

Jon hall misses a chip shot against the Lions in 2000, and Al Groh is a "bad coach" finishing at 9-7;

Jon Hall hits a 51 yarder in Oakland (a game that should have been played 15 weeks prior I may add), and Herm is "one of the best coaches the Jets have ever had" (according to Bitonti).

Here's why the "playoffs 3 times in 5 years" is easy to dismiss-

Just once, I'd like to see Herm's team clinch a playoff spot, two or three weeks before the season was over, instead of always having to wait until a week 16 miracle. Every time the Jets under Herman Edwards have had an opportunity to clinch before week 16, they failed. In 2001, they couldn't beat a 2-14 Bills team. Last year, they had the entire month of December to win JUST ONE game but couldn't do it. It took the Bills losing to the Steelers 3rd stringers, last game of the season.

I mean, think about that. The Hermaphrodites strongest argument is this "playoffs 3 times in 5 years", but if you look it objectively, it's pretty easy to rip it apart.

What's left? The "he's a master motivator" speil?

[Ranger]

RBL-

I'll agree this much-having your dad write obvious makeup columns about your family life in a national magazine/website while you start Colgate is about as awful a thing as you could do to a freshman, and even worse when it's a girl.I can only suspect he did something to feel the obligation to write about his daughter.

Still, how would you like it if as a seasonsed, well-paid NFL senior writer your magazine one fine day hires some Hollywood comedian who's basically a fan to write about football? And said comedian precedes to say that one of your main points about the Jets-that Edwards throws around injuries as an excuse way too often-is dead wrong?

That's fine. That seasoned, well-paid NFL senior writer is also nothing but a fan who writes a column. If King is vastly superior in football knowledge, then why has he picked Jake Plummer as his league MVP for the past 3 years Jay Mohr is just as qualified as King to write about sports. He may not have the writing background as King, but he has the same sports knowledge.