F.Chowds Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 January 6th, 2012 | by Joe Caporoso | Due to my terrific inside sources around the New York Jets organization, I have been able to acquire a copy of the resume Brian Schottenheimer is using on his head coaching interviews. Overview of Strengths Ability to coach a mediocre offense, with either a competent veteran (Chad Pennington), a top ten draft pick (Mark Sanchez), or a future Hall of Famer (Brett Favre) at quarterback. Can receive constant praise for innovation due to confusing calls and despite me never breaking tendencies. Can get away with calling 67 passes in a run first offense, without my head coach even noticing. My offense allows for 75% of our fans to call out the play before it is ran. Offensive Philosophy On every single play, split my fullback out in the slot and motion him into fullback even though I know everybody knows he isn’t staying in the slot and will motion in. Also sub in a specific receiver who is bigger and can block so I can motion him in towards the formation on all running plays. Sub out four or five players on every play, we need a specific group to throw with and a specific group to run with. Use all of these motions and subbing to confuse my offense, so we can have multiple false start penalties and delay of games, along with blowing timeouts frequently. Never, ever throw the football down the field outside the hashes. The entire game takes place within 5 yards of the quarterback, inside of the hash marks. Ignore the running game when it is working. Ignore the passing game when it is working. Run stretch plays with my slowest running back in 2nd and short to set up 3 and 5. Run 4 yard crossing routes on 3rd and 9. Do not use explosive players enough – see Leon Washington, Joe McKnight. Highlights Needed my team to call timeout before the first play of the game, even though we had the first play scripted all week. Dropped Mark Sanchez back 67 times against the New York Giants pass rush, when we were averaging 5 yards per carry. Played Matthew Mulligan 25 snaps per game for an entire season. Favorite Plays Shotgun 4-wide, throw a 4 yard hook route to the tight end, usually on 3rd and long. Motion receiver towards the formation and run toss, usually for a 3 or 4 yard loss. Play action boot on 2nd and short out of the same formation, where the quarterback only has the option to throw to the tight end in the flat. Slant. Slant. Slant. Standard Drives 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 1 yard gain. 2nd and 9 – Throw 4 yard hook route to tight end. 3rd and 5 – Throw 3 yard crossing route. 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 7 yard gain. 2nd and 3 – Go shotgun, get the quarterback sacked. 3rd and 12 – Draw or check down to running back. 1st and 10 – Throw slant for 8 yards 2nd and 2 – Play action boot, quarterback rolls out, throws incompletion. 3rd and 2 – Shotgun, sack or incompletion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirlancemehlot Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I hope the Jacksonville Brass is unaware of Jetnation.com. Please post only positive, awesome things about Brian Schottenheimer until he is hired. In fact, no Schottenheimer threads by anyone except Gato until he is hired. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19andOhWait Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 nice resume. he should add: I love to fake the wr reverse every play for no reason I enjoy not running fades to our 6'5 wr in the redzone I love the inside draw play on first down more than life itself I enjoy never utilizing my big, strong, fast tight end and lastly I love when Rex ignores my high five requests Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Another strength: You get perpetual continuity with me. Once hired i stick around a team for a long, long, long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain_the_foe Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 January 6th, 2012 | by Joe Caporoso | Due to my terrific inside sources around the New York Jets organization, I have been able to acquire a copy of the resume Brian Schottenheimer is using on his head coaching interviews. Overview of Strengths Ability to coach a mediocre offense, with either a competent veteran (Chad Pennington), a top ten draft pick (Mark Sanchez), or a future Hall of Famer (Brett Favre) at quarterback. Can receive constant praise for innovation due to confusing calls and despite me never breaking tendencies. Can get away with calling 67 passes in a run first offense, without my head coach even noticing. My offense allows for 75% of our fans to call out the play before it is ran. Offensive Philosophy On every single play, split my fullback out in the slot and motion him into fullback even though I know everybody knows he isn’t staying in the slot and will motion in. Also sub in a specific receiver who is bigger and can block so I can motion him in towards the formation on all running plays. Sub out four or five players on every play, we need a specific group to throw with and a specific group to run with. Use all of these motions and subbing to confuse my offense, so we can have multiple false start penalties and delay of games, along with blowing timeouts frequently. Never, ever throw the football down the field outside the hashes. The entire game takes place within 5 yards of the quarterback, inside of the hash marks. Ignore the running game when it is working. Ignore the passing game when it is working. Run stretch plays with my slowest running back in 2nd and short to set up 3 and 5. Run 4 yard crossing routes on 3rd and 9. Do not use explosive players enough – see Leon Washington, Joe McKnight. Highlights Needed my team to call timeout before the first play of the game, even though we had the first play scripted all week. Dropped Mark Sanchez back 67 times against the New York Giants pass rush, when we were averaging 5 yards per carry. Played Matthew Mulligan 25 snaps per game for an entire season. Favorite Plays Shotgun 4-wide, throw a 4 yard hook route to the tight end, usually on 3rd and long. Motion receiver towards the formation and run toss, usually for a 3 or 4 yard loss. Play action boot on 2nd and short out of the same formation, where the quarterback only has the option to throw to the tight end in the flat. Slant. Slant. Slant. Standard Drives 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 1 yard gain. 2nd and 9 – Throw 4 yard hook route to tight end. 3rd and 5 – Throw 3 yard crossing route. 1st and 10 – Run the football for a 7 yard gain. 2nd and 3 – Go shotgun, get the quarterback sacked. 3rd and 12 – Draw or check down to running back. 1st and 10 – Throw slant for 8 yards 2nd and 2 – Play action boot, quarterback rolls out, throws incompletion. 3rd and 2 – Shotgun, sack or incompletion. heheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lol. Aw man I f'ing hate that bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I hope the Jacksonville Brass is unaware of Jetnation.com. Please post only positive, awesome things about Brian Schottenheimer until he is hired. In fact, no Schottenheimer threads by anyone except Gato until he is hired. Thank you. LOL THIS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugg Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Also-incapable of getting his brilliant plays into QB's headset in a timely fashion, such that his offense always runs out the 40-second clock, allowing defenders to rush the line as the ball is snapped anc causing timeouts to be wasted every game -has never had a decent 2 minute drill, as he refuses to allow his QBs to call 2 plays in the huddle, lest they be deprived of his genius for 5-yard dumpoffs on 3rd and 7 -thinks first downs are overrated, such receivers are by design rarerly past the first down marker on 3rd down -his dad traded Drew Brees; the apple doesn't fall far from the tree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lego My Lageman Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Pants pissed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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