POTW - return of JetNation's Post of the Week

[Sperm Edwards]

Going forward, if there's a post you'd like to nominate just quote it and write "POTW NOM" in your post so we can compile the nominations quickly/easily. This one took a while and it's a bit longer than they typically get, but I don't believe in posting brevity.

 

Usually these are filled with more football posts, but the season hadn't officially started yet and this week was a bit unique anyway.

 

So without further delay, I give you your nominations and winner for JetNation Post of the Week!!

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: I hate to ask, but what happens if the Jets lose to the Raiders?
 

 

Scout.com will sell Jetsinsider back to Sooth.

 

If we do not win, it will cause mass hysteria on this board...here are the thread headlines:
 
1) IDZIK'S PLAN NOT WORKING
 
2) Rex's secondary sucks
 
3) Geno still Sucks
 
4) My life Sucks
 
5) You whiners suck
 
6) You positive mofos suck 
 
and the T0mShane Thread
 
7) We are going 0-16 this year.
 
So you can see, there would be mass hysteria.
 
Honestly, a loss here could impact us in the playoff race. Its one game but we really cannot afford a loss in a very winnable game. Also, it depends on the type of loss. Did our secondary blow up? Was our O effective? was it a close loss or did we get blown out? Again, it would depend. Still any loss would be terrible.  
 
LL

 

Then we'll go 15-1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We burn MetLife to the ground. It would be the only option at that point.

 

Are air conditioners flammable?

 

 

That was before the lap-band.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Why Not Keep Gates Instead Of Hill?

 

why not eat snot instead of poo?

 

Hill hasn't been exclusively with the 1s, and despite the level of competition, Salas has demonstrated an ability to box out defenders and catch the ball with his hands. Something Hill has yet to grasp. Like a football.

 

Traded UP for Hill.  Alshon Jeffrey still on the board.  I will never have more disdain for anyone in the Jets organization than I do for Tannenbaum.

[Sperm Edwards]

Thread: Tom Brady on when he will retire-when I suck

LOL everyone knows that is a lie, Tommy.

 

He prides himself on his mastery of the BJ.

 

Gronk could only last about 20-30 seconds.

 

We've known that he chokes on the big ones for quite awhile now

 

 

Topic: Vick to do Weekly Spot with Francesa (Jets unaware)

 

"You, Your Dog and STDs with Mike and Ron Mexico", Tuesdays at 5:30PM. Can't wait.

Goodson, Patterson, Vick... wow, Idzik sure has cleaned up the circus.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: the genius gives away Mallett

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KsZtQ51Gt1A/R4-uNL9f5lI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/AQXb8NSmx0g/s200/rodneydangerfield.norespect.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Jackson

 

For those who don't click links, or get the brilliance of my above post, here's an excerpt:

 

The Patriots traded (a third round pick) to move up 16 slots in the 2nd round to draft Chad Jackson, a WR who played for the Patriots for two seasons before fizzling out of the league the following year.  

 

(It's funny cause PatsFanTX said, "It's not like the PAtriots...blah blah blah blhah balbuouhslkuhjalj ")

 

 

pronounced, due-shh.

 

Nope, not for Mallet. They saved that move for Jackson.

 

A CONDITIONAL 7th rounder TWO yrs down the road. How can anyone lowball further than that? Offer a 7th rounder 3 yrs down the road?

 

 

Not really, just that Pats D just became pedestrian, n cost Brady a few SB rings. Oh wait, that was Spygate. Never mind.

 

 

Well then, nevermind! This changes everything!

 

HEY EVERYBODY. WE CAN STOP MAKING FUN OF BELICHICK NOW, IT'S ACTUALLY A CONDITIONAL 6TH IF MALLET REACHES CERTAIN PLAYING TIME NUMBERS.

 

To quote Joe Theismann - Bill Belichick is a genius like Norman Einstein!

[Sperm Edwards]

Klacko must have posted about 30 sissy asshat pictures of Brady the past week or so. Not digging all of them up, but I did pick out one of my favorites:

 

[Sperm Edwards]

What's going on at JI?

"Top people."

I absolutely love the sense hemming and hawing over whether or not the JI originals will be able to assert their alpha stupidity on their new surroundings. You can smell the insecurity... yummy.

 

JI is worth 100x JN.

So, $37.

 

A bit of a side note but here is a life lesson for you.  DO NOT under any circumstances tell your wife that you didn't sign a Non Disclosure Agreement that would have led to an offer, when you are in a Cancer hospital with her. Also, definitely don't mention that the company that wanted you to sign the NDA was backed by a billionaire.  One last thing not to mention to her is anything about the importance of message board integrity.

 

Don't ask me how I know, haha.

I would also like to announce my partnership with Scout.com.

Does this mean I can finally go back?

Somehow this thread has turned into an episode of Hollywood Squares.

I wonder: if I log on to the Scout site, will it still have Sean's ban message telling me to go f*ck myself?

[Sperm Edwards]

Really??

I could have sworn you were banned from any affiliation with the Boys Scouts years ago after that 'incident'

 

The real question is: How does this improve our secondary?

 

Thanks. Just to set the record straight I still do reserve the right to screw every last one of you guys over. The timing was just off on this one.

 

I was waiting for stoic to say this isn't Sean Deegan's fault and somehow blame Idzik.

 

when you go to http://www.jets.scout.com/ you can get really good information on the Jets. The Winnipeg Jets.

You say you guys have an open door policy?

 

I'm proud to be a part of the Jets message board that doesnt sell out.

 

We're like the garage punk rock band who made it big but still only charges $5 for their shows.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Jets need Rex to be at his best

Problem is, Rex isn't half the man he used to be.

Someday Rex will get a front office and assistant coaches and players and media and fans that don't hold him back, and then you'll see. You'll all see.

 

Rex is very good at taking a 5-11 or 6-10 roster and making them 8-8 or 9-7.  But making that jump and taking a 7-9 (or so) roster to 11-5 is what we need from him now.  That's an enormous leap in the NFL.

 

Last year's finale job saver has revitalized him and has helped him channel his inner fat man. Now he gets to prove it, as he likes to say.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Sporting News ranks Jets Idzik one of NFLs 5 worst GMs

 

Watch it there - you are making way too much sense. Don't you know high school injuries of any sort are predictive of ACL tears. Idzik is hopeless - every other GM avoids drafting players who have injured themselves in high school.

all of these popularity rankings are really a ranking of the QB's reputation

 

if geno gets his sh*t together, the love will flow

Just saying. People seem to forget all about Revis' knee injury (and let's not forget all those hammy's through all of his first 4 games) while they bash Idzik for picking "glass man McDougle"

 

 

Revis bla bla bla. Where did you find that gif?!

Guys I think we found our new Jets chant leader.  Just put this gif up on the videoboard whenever our defense needs a boost.

Topic: Colts owner Irsay- what will Goodell do?

 

I'm betting he gets a 4 game ban, $500K, and he has to ride up and down in an elevator with Ray Rice for 30 floors.

 

What exactly does 'suspended' mean for an owner?  Is he not allowed in his own suite during home games or just banned from the practice facility?  At least Goodell moved quickly and it seems consistent with the new policy.

 

They really should suspend Irsay from Twitter for six weeks.  That would be a public service.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Sup ****ers!!! aka I WANT ATTENTION

 

That should be our tagline.

That would look great on a T-shirt.

 

On your t-shirt it would look like a billboard

 

With BBQ sauce stains.

this should be fun.

T0M, SOMEONE'S HERE TO SEE YOU!

 

I love this guy.

When are you and me going out, boo?

  

when the Jets win the Super Bowl!

 

...that should protect me til one of us is dead.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Jets waive Enunwa, sign CB Phillip Adams

Lets stop with the trying to make this Seattle 2.0.

I would settle for Seattle 1.7.

Terrible. He'll fit right in.

 

So you're saying he's better than the three guys we fielded last year?

Topic: Who will Pryor knock the f&*k out first?

 

Unfortunately, I think there's a decent chance it's Pryor.    

lol. somebody had to do it, and you thought.... why not me?

I would like to see Pryor take off MJD's gary coleman head along the sideline and then while still holding his head in his teeth crash into Rex's big flabby FUPA belly from losing weight too fast and then it pops out and gets belly fungus on all the other raiders and then they get clamidia.

 

 

I spelled clamidia wrong. I'm not googling it at work. GFY

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: This needs to be said

Milliner's under bite is very concerning. It bothers me. This kid has a little bit of money now. Why can't he go see a dentist?

 

In the same vein why can't Rex invest in a manzier.  It's very distracting when he gets excited and jumps up and down.

F*CK Nick Saban for what he does to these kids.

 

You forgot Jewel and her P-38 can opener.

 

 

Topic: Geno Smith...

 

The last three quarterbacks to finish the preseason with a 70% completion percentage went on to win league MVP.

 

You serious?

 

No.

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: Welcome JI posters

 

thanks for the Welcome, looking forward to seeing what Jet Nation is all about!

Bathtub gin and tears, mostly.

 

What ever you do, DO NOT accept an invite to the mod lounge

 

Hello, sailor.

 

I've never been man enought to fully integrate myself over here, but now that Sploogth has sold our info and made out like a pig in heat, I guess I'm about to become a full time Jet nation man in training. Or lady man. I can't decide.

 

Lady men. Yummy.

 

I'm a Jets fan. I have no dreams, only nightmares.

 

TomShane was funny. T0mShane is not

 

Welcome to the only site that will have me

[Sperm Edwards]

The least suckiest jetfan site and proud of it.

 

Just so everyone is aware, JetNation moderators have no power whatsoever.

 

Not true. GOB can turn invisible.

 

Note to new guys.  You'll notice mods often use words like 'enjoying' and 'guys' in the same sentence.  It's not by accident.

 

Max has the best Sausage of any Forum owner in TriState area. 

faba will swear to it

Weiners or sausage

 

depends on whether Max has been swimming in cold water

[Sperm Edwards]

It's brass "tacks," you godforsaken halfwit.

My name is SAR I.

 

SAR I

 

FVCK YOU.

Gonna cry about it now?

 

LOL, yup..like I said earlier, we are like Australia, founded by the dregs no one else wanted or thought would succeed.

 

That was fast, Thanks.

 

You sound like my wife.

 

We charge $54.99

[Sperm Edwards]

Topic: New Posters, Introduce yourself!!

 

I don't think I need an introduction.

 

I am Groot.  Er, Jets Things.

 

I wouldn't say that I'm a misogynist, really. It's just that I have a complicated understanding of intimacy. My mother was a cold woman emotionally--not mean or abusive in any way, but reserved. You'd tell her "I love you," and she'd reply, "Me too." So the way I am with women now comes from that, I guess. I love women, but I don't love them enough to keep them around too long. Eventually, they all tell you, "me too." 

 

That said, I pride myself on my ability in the area of cunnilingus. Some say that men only get good at going down because they're trying to mask a small penis. I don't know if this is true. I have not seen enough penises to come to that conclusion. One time, in math class (9th grade?) I was tired and got caught measuring my erection (through my pants) and that, to this day, stands as the most painfully embarrassing moment of my life. Who does that? 

 

I was 23 when I lost my virginity, which is odd because I was an attractive teen with a good sense of humor. I like to attribute my late start to the delusion that I was a true romantic, and that hooking up was vulgar and crude. In all honesty, however, it was because my mother had taught Mike (my younger brother) and I about the birds and the bees thusly: "Sex is when you put your pee-pee inside a woman and she gets pregnant and you ruin her life." A therapist once told me that my mother had a bitterness towards men. Anyway, I lost my virginity to a girl named Mary in a cabin near a lake in Gloucester, Mass, and then had a panic attack thinking about what percentage of young women in that region of Massachusetts probably had HIV. Love is hard. Mary was nice, but worked out way too much and had the body of a muscular 15-year old boy.

 

I was married once and totally porked it. There was a period in my life where the synapses of my brain fired randomly and I had begun to take overt pleasure in absolute chaos. This was a time of great creativity and productivity for me, but I was all id and couldn't control a single impulse so everything went sideways quickly and, one day, I woke up on the floor of my brother's apartment, using my duffel bag as a pillow. It took me years to straighten up. There are times I miss those days and I consider adopting a minor drug problem as a means toward inhabiting that chaos again, but I think the time for that is past. Instead, I co-opt my chaos by rooting for the Jets and seducing mangy barmaids.

 

The Jets are a wayward organization, and I don't believe that they'll ever win a title until Woody Johnson brings in a seasoned Director of Football Operations type of guy to run things. Too many cooks in the kitchen at Florham Park, and Woody is just not qualified to vote on who his coach or his quarterback should be. 

 

I live in Bridgeport, Ct now, and I like it. It's my first experience living in a truly urban setting, and that exposure has turned me back toward a center-right political philosophy, though I would never vote for any hillbilly who would compromise the rights of gays to marry. I root for gentrification. I think I am living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn 15 years ago. They are building a massive Bass Pro Shop across the bay and, though I do not hunt or fish, it brings a smile to my face because I know they brought the Bass Pro Shop here for customers that Bass thinks will be living here in five years. I will fist-pump when they bring the Starbucks in. I do not care.     

 

I think Rex Ryan is a nice guy who would be a hell of a lot of fun to drink with, but is otherwise a waste of time as a head coach. I think a lot of the problems that he's encountering today were of his own making, and now he's lying in the talent-poor bed he's made for himself. I think John Idzik has good ideas, but I believe that he's caught in a tug-of-war with his coach and his owner that he simply doesn't know how to resolve, and that will be his undoing unless something drastically changes. I believe Woody Johnson is a fanboy who likes to assert his power in stupid little ways, like refusing to sign off on dumping Brian Schottenheimer because it would have cost him $1 mil. I believe Terry Bradway is still here for a similar reason. This is speculation on my part. I see the car wreck and try to come up with theories as to how it occurred, though I am too lazy to actually look for tire tracks.

 

JetNation is great and I enjoy reading the people on here. I often find myself recalling posts as if they were actual conversations I had, which is weird, but I suppose that's illustrative of how I think about the people here. No homo.

 

I saw the JLaw naked pics and I think she's lovely. If I was her, I'd shrug it off. Justin Verlander has every right to be bummed, though. Then again, he gets to say that he was putting it to Kate Upton at the time they were taken, which is an excellent consolation prize. 

 

I do not go to Jets games anymore. I don't like putting money in Woody's pocket. Truth be told, I've never really enjoyed the stadium experience. There's a post on here where I detail how my past journeys to MetLife/Giants Stadium always went. I do not like to tailgate. I have horrendous ADHD and can't be asked to stand in a parking lot for more than five minutes.

ABOBO

 

 

 

SMASH!!!!!!!

[Sperm Edwards]

Lots of great things posted the past week. Two stuck out above the rest, though.

Runner-up:

Hitman Harris - that freaking sig picture. No, it isn't a post, but c'mon.


 
Just watched it 30x in a row again. Just like you're doing right now.


And your JetNation Post of the Week winner is:


 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Jackson
 
For those who don't click links, or get the brilliance of my above post, here's an excerpt:
 
The Patriots traded (a third round pick) to move up 16 slots in the 2nd round to draft Chad Jackson, a WR who played for the Patriots for two seasons before fizzling out of the league the following year.  
 
(It's funny cause PatsFanTX said, "It's not like the PAtriots...blah blah blah blhah balbuouhslkuhjalj ")
 
 
pronounced, due-shh.

 

Yes, due-shh indeed. A smackdown on Tx or just flat-out showing him the extent of his ignorance is always immediate qualification for POTW. Yes, someone else pointed it out in the thread but Greenseed4 got in there first.

Congrats Greenseed4. We have nothing to give away so far as I know. So I'll give you one of these:



Great job, everyone.

[T0mShane]

Ha! Great job, Greenseed. Glad to see this come back.

[ZachEY]

Topic: New Posters, Introduce yourself!!

 

 

 

So, ummm, was this also from Jaws?

[ZachEY]

Good job greenseed, definitely a deserving winner.

[PatsFanTX]

People are mean on this message board.

[JiFtheOracle]

Haha - great choice. Good post greenseed. Those Gator WRs suck.

[JetsFanInDenver]

My vote for POTW was for the sig because I betcha thats been the most looked at thing on this entire board since it was posted.

[JiFtheOracle]

TX returns, JI shuts down resulting in an influx of great posters, POTW returns and it's opening day?

Creamy

[JiFtheOracle]

My vote for POTW was for the sig because I betcha thats been the most looked at thing on this entire board since it was posted.

+ 1

[Klecko73isGod]

Lots of great things posted the past week. Two stuck out above the rest, though.

Runner-up:

Hitman Harris - that freaking sig picture. No, it isn't a post, but c'mon.

 

Just watched it 30x in a row again. Just like you're doing right now.

And your JetNation Post of the Week winner is:

 

Yes, due-shh indeed. A smackdown on Tx or just flat-out showing him the extent of his ignorance is always immediate qualification for POTW. Yes, someone else pointed it out in the thread but Greenseed4 got in there first.

Congrats Greenseed4. We have nothing to give away so far as I know. So I'll give you one of these:

Great job, everyone.

 

It's an honor just to be nominated next to that brilliant post. 

 

Good choice!

[T0mShane]

So, ummm, was this also from Jaws?

The jaws of my death spiral, maybe.

[Thor99]

The jaws of my death spiral, maybe.

Fingers crossed.

[Larz]

here's a shoutout to bombdirt, the boob king of JN

[Jet Nut]

Ah, Premium Content. How much $$$ for this?

[RutgersJetFan]

If anyone but Hitman Harris wins this one then this board has gone to sh*t. Even the gay dudes would vote for that one.

[roscoeword]

No question here on the post of the week - it was the posts of Greenseed4, correcting himself intentionally after the newbie wrote "kove" instead of "move". That whole thread was hilarious, but Greenseed's self corrections had me laughing out loud, which rarely happens when I sit in front of the computer. The thread appears on "Jets claim Leon MCfadden" - check out that thread and tell me it's not the best.

[Sperm Edwards]

No question here on the post of the week - it was the posts of Greenseed4, correcting himself intentionally after the newbie wrote "kove" instead of "move". That whole thread was hilarious, but Greenseed's self corrections had me laughing out loud, which rarely happens when I sit in front of the computer. The thread appears on "Jets claim Leon MCfadden" - check out that thread and tell me it's not the best.

Be nominating, people (see post #1 in this thread). Otherwise you're relying on 1-2 people rereading every post in every thread going back for the past week, and we're bound to miss some good ones.

[Sperm Edwards]

If anyone but Hitman Harris wins this one then this board has gone to sh*t. Even the gay dudes would vote for that one.

Gave it SERIOUS consideration, except his post wasn't really a post, and it's POST of the week, not boobies of the week.

I gave him the runner-up, which is about as high as one can finish without actually authoring anything.