The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Got a really obnoxious Pats fan at work who has a unique way of "trash talking." He just walks by my desk and stares at me with this moronic sh*t-eating grin on his face. (I don't think his brain functions in a way that allows him to actually talk trash.) So he comes by my desk this morning with that stupid look on his face and I extend my hand to offer congratulations: Me: Congrats on making it to the AFC Championship game man. GoofyPatsFan: What? We got a game on Sunday. Me: Yeah, but we both know the Jets have no chance. The Pats are the greatest team in the history of the world. GoofyPatsFan: Ummmm, uhhh don't you want to put some money on it? Me: Why would I want to do that? I'd just lose because the Jets are gonna get their asses kicked. GoofyPatsFan: There's always a chance.. Me: No, that's where you are wrong. There is no chance. The Pats are going to win. If they don't, their season is a colossal disappointment. How could they possibly lose to the Jets? GoofyPatsFan:? (face now filled with fear and doubt) Nothing is guaranteed. Me: Yeah it is. If you guys lose it will go down in history as the biggest collapse of all time. I honestly think he is shaking in fear and crying right now. He thought I was gonna talk smack.... well.... SURPRISE BITCHES!!!! Excellent play Kleck. Let them gloat, let them eat shiit with their grins, don;t let them get to you. Then Monday walk in whip out your pecker and piss right on his freaking desk, screaming SURPRISE BITCH!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Oh I will! haha And if THEY look while I'm dancing I'll just make it look like I'm in a fit of frustration instead because we have to play the mighty Patriots. Well played. They will never know what hits them. SURPRISE BITCHES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 = No way Simon Barsinister beats us this time!!! DEATH TO SIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenorGato Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 The Surprise Bitches act might be the best one this board has had in a while...I found myself liking a Klecko post. I will work on my Surprise Bitches story of the week during the week. I don't know any Pats fans because I've killed them all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 The Surprise Bitches act might be the best one this board has had in a while...I found myself liking a Klecko post. I will work on my Surprise Bitches story of the week during the week. I don't know any Pats fans because I've killed them all. Don;t try just don;t give it away. Don;t ruin the surprise, pee on someones desk, but don;t give the secret away. The SURPRISE WILL BE GREAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitonti Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 imagine if the Jets were somehow the 1 seed they swept the Pats and the Jets were the 1 seed. let's play that out they play awful at home compared to the road. Disadvantage they would have to beat the same team 3 times in 1 year. Disadvantage. they play terrible after bye weeks under Rex. Disadvantage. they play awful when the national media has crowned them awesome, and believe their own hype (Ravens and Packers game). Disadvantage. so yeah... agreeing with the original poster this is exactly the way we wanted it to happen. the Jets have revenge and everything else in their favor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sh4dy15 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 imagine if the Jets were somehow the 1 seed they swept the Pats and the Jets were the 1 seed. let's play that out they play awful at home compared to the road. Disadvantage they would have to beat the same team 3 times in 1 year. Disadvantage. they play terrible after bye weeks under Rex. Disadvantage. they play awful when the national media has crowned them awesome, and believe their own hype (Ravens and Packers game). Disadvantage. so yeah... agreeing with the original poster this is exactly the way we wanted it to happen. the Jets have revenge and everything else in their favor. All going to Rex's plan. SURPRISE BITCHES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 After we started with a loss then beat New England and started winning the "team to beat" talk started and I for one felt it very uncomfortable. Sorta like i do with non-elastic waist band pants. NOW!!! We are the true no chance in hell underdogs and I "LOVE IT" Every sports talk show this morning told me how we "could" but we "won't" win. I say F'dem. NO!!! I can;t tell you we will win or we might win all I can tell you is I "FEEL" it. I been negative all year and first time I felt a win was last week. Had a slight feeling when we played Green Bay but just turned out to be gas. So "**** New England", "**** the blowout", "**** Brady", "**** Belli", "**** the whiteboy mafia" and most of all "**** the Pats Trolls'. This is our year and I FEEL it. "SURPRISE BITZES!!!!!!! if you just read every eighth letter, it says "super-sized, greasy and dipped in mayo" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOJOTOWNSELL Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 why is it when i said this exact same thing after the dolphin lossi almost get laughed off the board!? lol go jets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klecko73isGod Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 imagine if the Jets were somehow the 1 seed they swept the Pats and the Jets were the 1 seed. let's play that out they play awful at home compared to the road. Disadvantage they would have to beat the same team 3 times in 1 year. Disadvantage. they play terrible after bye weeks under Rex. Disadvantage. they play awful when the national media has crowned them awesome, and believe their own hype (Ravens and Packers game). Disadvantage. so yeah... agreeing with the original poster this is exactly the way we wanted it to happen. the Jets have revenge and everything else in their favor. Not including the postseason the Jets were 6-2 on the road and 5-3 at home this year with their worst loss by far coming on the road. I'm not sure that playing at home can be honestly referred to as a "disadvantage." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Put the high explosive tips on your arrows and be ready to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 imagine if the Jets were somehow the 1 seed they swept the Pats and the Jets were the 1 seed. let's play that out they play awful at home compared to the road. Disadvantage they would have to beat the same team 3 times in 1 year. Disadvantage. they play terrible after bye weeks under Rex. Disadvantage. they play awful when the national media has crowned them awesome, and believe their own hype (Ravens and Packers game). Disadvantage. so yeah... agreeing with the original poster this is exactly the way we wanted it to happen. the Jets have revenge and everything else in their favor. Exactly Bit-master B. If we where the home team we are already playing teh mafia goodness, season over. But as the after thought team we already killed, we are exactly where we need to be. Hiding in the shadows of greatness ready to pop out and scream... "SURPRISE BITCHES!!!!!" AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. BAM what? who's that? TEH ******* JETS THATS WHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 if you just read every eighth letter, it says "super-sized, greasy and dipped in mayo" Actually that would surprise no one. Stay on topic or I will poop on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 why is it when i said this exact same thing after the dolphin lossi almost get laughed off the board!? lol go jets! You forgot the SURPRISE BITCH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 You forgot the SURPRISE BITCH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Actually that would surprise no one. Stay on topic or I will poop on you. did you just moderate me? you fat slug.. in any event, I was out a bit, can someone explain this suprise bitches thing to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klecko73isGod Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 did you just moderate me? you fat slug.. in any event, I was out a bit, can someone explain this suprise bitches thing to me? Is that a personal attack on a mod? You gonna take that Crush? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HessStation Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 in any event, I was out a bit, can someone explain this suprise bitches thing to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
war ensemble Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zu0p7xWLoU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 did you just moderate me? you fat slug.. in any event, I was out a bit, can someone explain this suprise bitches thing to me? Yes I moderated you. Sorry, it was for your own good. Surprise bitches is what fat slugs yell when nobody is expecting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Is that a personal attack on a mod? You gonna take that Crush? The day CTM stops personally attacking me he will be perma banned. I almost eliminated him for missing a week but found out he was sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Yes I moderated you. Sorry, it was for your own good. Surprise bitches is what fat slugs yell when nobody is expecting it. who coined it? It wasn't jif was it? I don't know if I can get on that band wagon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Holyu Crap Hess. Thats the perfect picture to explain this. The little doggy under the guy in the HIGH chair would be the underdog. Under the guy in the chair in this case. If he jumps up like Braylon Catching a high pass on the sidelines and bites the guy in the high chairs ball bag off, that would be a SURPRISE BITCH/ Hess thank you for helping with the slower posters like CTM. Next time it rains I will save you space under my belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 who coined it? It wasn't jif was it? I don't know if I can get on that band wagon... I coined it and JiF put it in his avatar cause he luvs his muffin top. You probably should too since the Holy Diver one is so last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hess thank you for helping with the slower posters like CTM. Next time it rains I will save you space under my belly. that's funny. I wish i had used that on you prior to this day.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zu0p7xWLoU True fun fact. K.C lives less than 2 miles from me. SURPRISE BITCHES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 that's funny. I wish i had used that on you prior to this day.. Too late. I already save you a spot under my left a$$ cheek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenorGato Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I usually like the whole being the underdogs thing, but the more often it happens the more often I don't think it matters. Pats will destroy us and our families if we do not stand and fight on Sunday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTM Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Too late. I already save you a spot under my left a$$ cheek. considering you likely spend the vast majority of your time sitting or laying, that doesn't sound too comfortable. How about under your left teet, resting on you belly for comfort? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 I usually like the whole being the underdogs thing, but the more often it happens the more often I don't think it matters. Pats will destroy us and our families if we do not stand and fight on Sunday. Thats exactly what the Pats should be thinking because they are right as long you don;t factor in the SURPRISE BITCH. Things are perfect for us right now, you should relax and enjoy it. Tell everyone we have no chance, this is the key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 considering you likely spend the vast majority of your time sitting or laying, that doesn't sound too comfortable. How about under your left teet, resting on you belly for comfort? Nope, that spots for Vic. Sorry, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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