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Let's start another Monty Python thread..


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"And while the good folk of Happy Valley tenaciously frolicked away, their wise old king, who was a merry old thing, played strange songs on his Hammond organ all day long, up in his castle where he lived with his gracious Queen Syllabub, and their lovely daughter Princess Mitzi Gaynor, who had fabulous t!ts and an enchanting smile and a fine wit, and wooden teeth which she'd bought in a chemist's in Augsburg, despite the fire risk. "

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here you go artsy... :lol:

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

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"I've got a license for my pet dog, Eric, and I've got another license for my pet cat, Eric."

"You don't need a license for a cat."

"I bleedin' well do, and I've got one! What's that, then?"

"This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out, and 'cat' written in in crayon."

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O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

O: There, he moved!

C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

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BARBER:

I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!

With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!

[singing]

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.

I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.

I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'

And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.

He goes to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays he goes shopping

And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing

And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie,

Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking]

What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!

And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...

[singing]

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.

He sleeps all night and he works all daaaay!!

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I know the whole song "Sit on my face" but I think that post would get tossed PDQ... unless I get the go ahead... :oops:

Oh, c'mon, Transplant. Live a little.

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me .

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.

I love to hear you oralize

When I'm between your thighs.

You blow me away.

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you

I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly

Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine

If we sit on our faces

In all sorts of places

And play till we're blown away.

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You want Monty Python? How about this. The Holy Grail is the most overrated comedy of all time. Yeah, I said it. I paid money to rent it and I regret it every day of my life if I had actually spent the extra loot and purchased the dvd, I probably would have killed myself.

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You want Monty Python? How about this. The Holy Grail is the most overrated comedy of all time. Yeah, I said it. I paid money to rent it and I regret it every day of my life if I had actually spent the extra loot and purchased the dvd, I probably would have killed myself.

Every time I think you might NOT be the stupidest mother****er on the planet, you kick it up a notch.

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Every time I think you might NOT be the stupidest MotherF#ck#r on the planet, you kick it up a notch.

:lol: I knew you would be the first to chime in on this. I don't know, maybe I heard too much about this movie before I watched it or maybe it's because I'm not british but I just didn't find it even mildly amusing. Now Zoolander on the other hand. That's a funny movie.

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Hey, ALK...Zoolander is a funny movie...but I'm with Bob on this one...the most overrated...of all time...are you forgetting the whole Corey era...to say nothing of the worst SNL alumnus crap, to wit, anything with Farley, Spade or Sandler...?

(Except the Wedding Singer...that was funny!)

Life Of Brian is genius!!!!!!

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Oh, c'mon, Transplant. Live a little.

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me .

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.

I love to hear you oralize

When I'm between your thighs.

You blow me away.

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you

I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly

Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine

If we sit on our faces

In all sorts of places

And play till we're blown away.

Oy... guess I forgot who runs this show... LOL...

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