Looking for help with an honest question to the board on the future of sports

[Jetkwondo]

So, my 12 year old daughter was in a recent Taekwondo tournament and her third event was a full contact padded sparring event. Her first round starts and I'm watching my young, but very accomplished, daughter fight a fighter who is maybe 10 lbs lighter but 2 years older and twice as fast, and is moving cat like and very nimble and unlike other girls she's fought in the past. With every heavy hit she's taking I'm hearing deep sounding Khaps that sound like a male voice. I say that because in the heat of battle you can't hide your true being. Anyway. my daughter was outscored like 8 -0 in the first round and she came to her corner kind of traumatized and the first thing her coach, an upper belt instructor , said excitedly was "is that a boy or a girl?"  as my daughter said "I don't know !" and began to cry. I walked over briefly to boost her spirits and I could see she was scared but I said "you're ok'  "you're doing great" "do your best" while assuming all was legit.  She finished her 2nd round, fighting her heart out like I've never seen her fight before, and she then came off the mat and came to me sobbing and said "that was a dude! I was so terrified".  I then spent many minutes trying to calm her as she said "I felt like I was in a real street fight" "that was so scary! " 

She has been sparring since age 5 and after this event she now doesn't want to spar anymore if this is what she has to face in the future...

I'm wondering the boards thoughts on this as this is where sports IS at the moment, not where it's headed...   I'd really appreciate if you'd please respond with your true honest opinions, not political , on this as it's been pretty lonely and disheartening trying to explain this reality to my 12 year old....  

 

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

Totally unfair to your daughter . Boys with boys , girls with girls . Protest with the person in charge of her league .

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

Agree with Sam. However, this is political and is the "new norm", case in point that swimmer who is clearly male but identifies as female. Have you spoken with other parents whose kids participated in these events?

[Jetsfan80]

[Barry McCockinner]

This needs to be completely rejected by society instead of accepted as "the new norm". It's not normal and it's not right.

Make a big stink about it. Your daughter deserves to compete against other girls and should not ever be put in this situation.

[chirorob]

You are seeing this more an more.

Women/girls getting serious physical injuries from sparring with men.   A female field hockey player getting her teeth knocked out by a male.  It is total bullsh**.   You can grow your hair out, take some hormones, whatever, a biological male is never going to be female.   The bone structure is different, the muscle structure is different, the bodies are designed to do fundamentally different things.

 

 

[Jetsfan80]

1 hour ago, Barry McCockinner said:

This needs to be completely rejected by society instead of accepted as "the new norm". It's not normal and it's not right.

Make a big stink about it. Your daughter deserves to compete against other girls and should not ever be put in this situation.

 

33 minutes ago, chirorob said:

You are seeing this more an more.

Women/girls getting serious physical injuries from sparring with men.   A female field hockey player getting her teeth knocked out by a male.  It is total bullsh**.   You can grow your hair out, take some hormones, whatever, a biological male is never going to be female.   The bone structure is different, the muscle structure is different, the bodies are designed to do fundamentally different things.

 

Agreed.  Gender is absolute a fluid/continuum deal.  Biology/Physiology really isn't.  Evolution can't be upended by hormones.

[Rhg1084]

Having biological males compete in women’s sports is completely insane. This world has seriously been turned upside down!

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

On 12/4/2023 at 12:26 PM, JetsfaninNorthHollywood said:

Agree with Sam. However, this is political and is the "new norm", case in point that swimmer who is clearly male but identifies as female. Have you spoken with other parents whose kids participated in these events?

New norm my butt .

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

I don't like it either, but there is an agenda and this bs is the "new norm" that's being pushed. I don't envy parents these days. And my Ladyfriend's daughters graduated back in 2010 and 2013, so they missed this bs.

The parents of these leagues need to raise all sorts of hell ala like they did with school boards and such.

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

When did the world turn upside down ?

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

It's been, depending on you talk to, in a perpetual spin cycle since the 60s.

[Corn]

It is Political But to leave that alone.

I don't know how you would word it but just let her know that the adults is having a lot of mental illness a lot of confusion and if that ever happens again you're going to leave and you would never put yourself or her in that situation again.

I don't think you should argue or anything with the people in charge that are in these cases clearly manipulating children but you would like to know who's having a higher testosterone and is that being regulated. You need a heads up.

NOW I'm curious about the legality  there should have been these tests results available.

I'm possibly  lawyering up if none of this stuff is available or provided to you and your girl just got her ass beat to sh*t and they didn't lower the male testosterone.

What a pain in the ass but if you don't inquire this guy  might be beating the hell out of a bunch of little girls.

 

[Nolder]

This is a topic which for better or worse cannot be untangled from politics and I know Max doesn’t want politics on this board so I feel like there’s really no way to talk about this without stepping over the line he’s set. I’ll just say I think you should do what’s best for your family and your daughter. People get injured doing sports and athletics in the best of conditions and arguably your daughter isn’t competing under the best conditions.

[Green Ghost]

You’re a better man than me, @Jetkwondo because I would’ve attacked the other father or whoever allowed that match.

[The Crusher]

Yeah, I’m happy all 5 of my kids are grown and no longer taking part in this stuff. I’m not sure what you should do, but I know in your shoes I would do the wrong thing. Start with me sitting next to my wife and be like,” Cookie! that’s a dude!,” she be like,” Sal, shhhh!” . I be like,” fck shhh, she’s fighting a f-ing dude, wtf Cookie?” Then she be like,”Sal, just stop please!” That’s when I would sit there and try to stop then Cookie be like,” Joey take Daddy out to the car and don’t let him go near the penis girl’s father please, thanks honey!” 

 

[Danielunism]

Have you ever considered temporarily locking your forum account during the offseason to prevent yourself from getting addicted and ensure a healthy balance in your life? Share your experiences, strategies, and thoughts on managing forum addiction.

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

4 hours ago, Danielunism said:

Have you ever considered temporarily locking your forum account during the offseason to prevent yourself from getting addicted and ensure a healthy balance in your life? Share your experiences, strategies, and thoughts on managing forum addiction.

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

[Jetkwondo]

On 12/28/2023 at 8:19 AM, The Crusher said:

Yeah, I’m happy all 5 of my kids are grown and no longer taking part in this stuff. I’m not sure what you should do, but I know in your shoes I would do the wrong thing. Start with me sitting next to my wife and be like,” Cookie! that’s a dude!,” she be like,” Sal, shhhh!” . I be like,” fck shhh, she’s fighting a f-ing dude, wtf Cookie?” Then she be like,”Sal, just stop please!” That’s when I would sit there and try to stop then Cookie be like,” Joey take Daddy out to the car and don’t let him go near the penis girl’s father please, thanks honey!” 

 

Thanks Crusher, for your very unique way to always include humor in some very serious topics, as you did in this one!. 

I thought I'd also use your comment to respond and thank everyone else who made their thoughts known on this thread. It's greatly appreciated!

To update: 

I  immediately sent an email to the organizer to have a meeting to discuss what went down. We then met at a time where nobody else was in the building.  My well thought-out approach first explained, not my thoughts, but instead those I observed of a few people around me at the tournament who had muttered questioning the gender. I then bluntly told him how my daughter was uncharacteristically sobbing afterwards because she told me after coming off the mat that it was a dude, which terrified her. His first reaction was very defensive, blaming those who questioned gender to be assuming based on the short haircut of the person in question,  which to me was irrelevant. He then assured me it was a girl so I immediately sighted the unnatural speed and aggression that my daughter had faced.  I then sighted that title 9 is under attack and the physical dangers that comes with that. 

He seemed to let down his guard as we talked further and he slowly let it be be known that he agreed with my points though just not in this case. I instead viewed it like he had painted himself into a corner on something that was thrust upon him about 4- 5 years back!  We parted with a hand shake, with me feeling I had put him on notice by defending not just my daughter, but all the girls under him. 

My daughter, who is seen as a natural leader by her peers, hasn't brought her sparring gear to class out of protest since that happened which interestingly is going unchallenged.  Her friends at school are also beginning to wake up to this which gives me great hope...  The dam is slowly breaking!