BeaconJet Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 4 hours ago, CTJetsFan said: Lots of good suggestions (ex. get blood work, exercising) and lots of possibilities (stress, depression, blood sugar). Definitely start with getting some blood work done. One I didn't see mentioned is sleep apnea. May be worth getting tested for that too. I went thru a bad divorce about 17 years ago. You'll get thru it and life will get better. Stay strong. Sleep apnea can mess with you quite a bit. Great suggestion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 3 hours ago, Maxman said: Dude I would move. Pick someplace new. Dare I say Florida. Just start over and have some fun again. People told him that last year. He doesn't listen. I honestly think he enjoys victimhood. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 1 minute ago, Jet_Engine1 said: People told him that last year. He doesn't listen. I honestly think he enjoys victimhood. It’s certainly much easier than making tangible changes, that’s for sure. Every time someone makes a good suggestion he sh*ts on it with a list of excuses. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronx Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 5 hours ago, The Crusher said: @Bronx yVelU5.mp4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 On 1/4/2024 at 6:46 PM, HighPitch said: Will she swallow? Ass play??? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 10 Author Share Posted January 10 3 hours ago, Jetsfan80 said: It’s certainly much easier than making tangible changes, that’s for sure. Every time someone makes a good suggestion he sh*ts on it with a list of excuses. False ……things aren’t easy surviving one day at a time.A lot going on here in NJ .. my mom is elderly I’m all she has and I’m living in her home as we speak. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 58 minutes ago, joewilly12 said: False ……things aren’t easy surviving one day at a time.A lot going on here in NJ .. my mom is elderly I’m all she has and I’m living in her home as we speak. Change isn't easy. I totally get it. Small changes though, start there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 On 12/26/2023 at 2:57 AM, BP said: After I turned 50 I always go to the doctor every year even if I feel great. I have a family history of stroke and heart disease and my older brother had a stent put in at 54 years old. I have too much invested in my retirement to spend it horizontally. I love that last line Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 5 hours ago, BeaconJet said: Sleep apnea can mess with you quite a bit. Great suggestion. I was tired for years and my wife was going nuts with my snoring. Turned out I had sleep apnea. On the cpap for 7 years now and it’s made a big difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 On 12/26/2023 at 11:18 PM, joewilly12 said: Depression stress anxiety is kicking my ass ….. my children ignored me for Christmas. A friend of the family just told me a little while ago your ex wife is doing everything she can to deter those adult kids from having any relationship with you she sees it as a moral victory and it covers up her cheating so you always look like the bad guy to everyone. She basically wants me dead or in jail. My Dr recommended a multi vitamin today over the phone along with some other suggestions. I’m alone I have nobody for support or help with anything. I went from an active member of 40 years in fire department 35 at my job with many friends to very few. Divorce sucks and people always take woman’s side she’s Satan and a liar. Why not try to meet up with some folks from the fire department? send your kids an email asking about how their life is going etc. don’t mention your ex. they might not respond the first time but if you work at it my guess is they will. my suggestion is to not say anything about their mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 10 Author Share Posted January 10 3 hours ago, batman10023 said: Why not try to meet up with some folks from the fire department? send your kids an email asking about how their life is going etc. don’t mention your ex. they might not respond the first time but if you work at it my guess is they will. my suggestion is to not say anything about their mother. 40 years in the FD many played the divorce card… it was a close group I guess the wives ruled the husbands … my son is a member he brought our business issues to the firehouse… my adult kids have ignored me for awhile ..I sent my daughter emails I loved her missed her she signed a restraining order against me which was denied after court trial my ex funds these kids manipulated them tells them to hate ignore they listen… they are afraid of her after seeing all the lies hate she used on me this is going to the grave all because I caught her cheating called her out on it damaged her ego perfect image in small town she moved 20 miles West Stress is kicking by butt 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 5 hours ago, joewilly12 said: Stress is kicking by butt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggs Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 On 12/25/2023 at 4:52 AM, joewilly12 said: I’m 60 …Haven’t had a beer since early July never drank hard liquor in my life haven’t smoked weed since high school never smoked in my life. no drugs. Been going through a bitter divorce for 2 years. What’s wrong with me? Besides the orthopedic pains from 5 surgeries I feel like sh*t. Any ideas? I would start adding back drinking, smoking and drugs as a first step and see how you feel. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 24 Author Share Posted January 24 1 hour ago, Biggs said: I would start adding back drinking, smoking and drugs as a first step and see how you feel. I never smoked or die drugs … beer in moderation on weekends I’m hurting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 1 hour ago, joewilly12 said: I never smoked or die drugs … beer in moderation on weekends I’m hurting What did it show when you went for your recent physical and blood work? I had my annual physical yesterday. Down 25lbs from last year. Told him my world is falling apart and it is nothing but stress everywhere, but somehow I feel good lol. The blood work is so important. Talk to your Doctor about the results. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Maxman Posted January 24 Popular Post Share Posted January 24 On 1/10/2024 at 1:33 AM, joewilly12 said: 40 years in the FD many played the divorce card… it was a close group I guess the wives ruled the husbands … my son is a member he brought our business issues to the firehouse… my adult kids have ignored me for awhile ..I sent my daughter emails I loved her missed her she signed a restraining order against me which was denied after court trial my ex funds these kids manipulated them tells them to hate ignore they listen… they are afraid of her after seeing all the lies hate she used on me this is going to the grave all because I caught her cheating called her out on it damaged her ego perfect image in small town she moved 20 miles West Stress is kicking by butt You have to let it all go. All of it. I get stress, and have a ton of it. You have no choice but to wake up every day and make the best of the situation. Stop spending time looking backwards. Tough love brother, but you mention the same things over and over again. What are you doing to better things for YOURSELF? Therapy? Support Groups? Finding New Friends? Volunteering? My favorite Beastie Boys line is one mans floor is another man's ceiling. It is true, someone out there has it tougher. Go help people and in the process, you will see that it lifted you up. The amazing thing is no matter what we are going through in life, someone else has been there. Make the best of every day and keep moving forward. One day we won't have the luxury of waking up. So, wasting any time before that point is a shame. Sorry man, I hope you are feeling better soon. 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 24 Author Share Posted January 24 @maxman THANK YOU appreciate you … I’m also battling some health issues …. living situation …. etc one day at a time is my motto … for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 2 hours ago, joewilly12 said: etc one day at a time is my motto … for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 On 1/9/2024 at 9:38 PM, batman10023 said: Why not try to meet up with some folks from the fire department? send your kids an email asking about how their life is going etc. don’t mention your ex. they might not respond the first time but if you work at it my guess is they will. my suggestion is to not say anything about their mother. On 1/10/2024 at 1:33 AM, joewilly12 said: 40 years in the FD many played the divorce card… it was a close group I guess the wives ruled the husbands … my son is a member he brought our business issues to the firehouse… my adult kids have ignored me for awhile ..I sent my daughter emails I loved her missed her she signed a restraining order against me which was denied after court trial my ex funds these kids manipulated them tells them to hate ignore they listen… they are afraid of her after seeing all the lies hate she used on me this is going to the grave all because I caught her cheating called her out on it damaged her ego perfect image in small town she moved 20 miles West Stress is kicking by butt So many guys hit retirement from the FD, and within a year get divorced. I hear the same thing from guys all the time, and it's always the same story, "Bitch took half my pension and left me".... but the other side of the story is that these are typically the guys that prioritized "the job" and "the guys" over being home. Since I retired, I've had a few of them calling me, offering jobs with training companies... my buddy Rick is insistent on getting me to work with a company called CMC, training the Military and other Fed agencies HazMat, USAR, and other stuff. Pays good, and in his words, "You're only away for 2, maybe 3 weeks at a time". 😆 I'm like, "Dude, I LIKE being with my wife and kids, no thanks". And it's like it doesn't even compute with him. Same as other guys I worked with over the years. They would use their vacation blocks to go to Anniston Alabama, Dugway, and other training facilities for 2-3 week training classes... I used my Vacations to take the wife and kids on a cruise - and a lot of the same type of training is available locally... they just wanted to get out of town and go drinkin' with the boys... I know, because I did all of that type of training before I had kids, and it's Train til 4 pm, grab chow, and then it's Zero Beer Thirty... My buddy Greg is a station Captain, works as much OT as possible, and when he's not on shift or has a Vacation, hes off to Ft. Benning or wherever to "train" people for his other job. When his wife has enough of never having him around, it will be the same story..."Bitch left and took my pension..." 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 28 Author Share Posted January 28 @Jet_Engine1 I retired from my government job after 35 years the x encouraged it because she did her homework once I declare the monthly death benefit it can’t be changed…. She threw that in my face after she filed for divorce. I volunteered FD for 40 years since I was 18 few guys stuck by me after divorce I walked away the young punks know nothing about brotherhood or comrade those days are over. All my awards certificates my x threw them all in the garbage. She hides behind a 3ft nothing bully lawyer who seems to hate my guts. Partially because he lost everything he tried to hurt me he lives about a mile from me small world we may cross paths one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 1 hour ago, joewilly12 said: @Jet_Engine1 I retired from my government job after 35 years the x encouraged it because she did her homework once I declare the monthly death benefit it can’t be changed…. She threw that in my face after she filed for divorce. I volunteered FD for 40 years since I was 18 few guys stuck by me after divorce I walked away the young punks know nothing about brotherhood or comrade those days are over. All my awards certificates my x threw them all in the garbage. She hides behind a 3ft nothing bully lawyer who seems to hate my guts. Partially because he lost everything he tried to hurt me he lives about a mile from me small world we may cross paths one day. Bro, when you walk out the door from the FD, PD, Army... whatever, you're just a guy that used to work there. I talk to the guys that would have been friends regardless of where we worked... the rest? Not a peep. It is what it is. And it's OK. Certs? Awards? I'll let you in on a secret... NOBODY CARES. not being an a$$hole about YOU, I mean, the Civ world doesn't give a crap. I have a shadowbox with my Army stuff, my Fire Helmet, and the gold axe I got when I retired. Everything else is just in a binder (scanned and saved if I ever apply for another job, just in case)... but right now, none of the people in my current job care that I was Officer of the Year x2, 3 Life Saving awards, multipke Meritorious, FFMA Investigator of the Year, NFA EFO.... ot that I hold every cert you could POSSIBLY imagine. Seriously. From Patamedic to USAR Specialist, I have every cert available for a FF to attain. Guess what? Nobody gives a sh*t. It's just 'stuff'. You need to displace, Brother. I did. And it was the best decision I've made in 20 years. I got out of the environment that wasn't good for me, and I honestly didn't want to even be in West Palm after my dad died... too many memories. We moved up here to Melbourne and life is just amazing. Find a place that gets you out of the environment that's ******* with you, that depresses you and start fresh somewhere new that fits how you want to live the rest of your life. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 On 1/10/2024 at 1:33 AM, joewilly12 said: 40 years in the FD many played the divorce card… it was a close group I guess the wives ruled the husbands … my son is a member he brought our business issues to the firehouse… my adult kids have ignored me for awhile ..I sent my daughter emails I loved her missed her she signed a restraining order against me which was denied after court trial my ex funds these kids manipulated them tells them to hate ignore they listen… they are afraid of her after seeing all the lies hate she used on me this is going to the grave all because I caught her cheating called her out on it damaged her ego perfect image in small town she moved 20 miles West Stress is kicking by butt Hopefully you can find a couple from the firehouse that still want to hang out with you. sorry about your daughter. I would gently keep trying every few months. Tough situation. If you have done anything wrong perhaps ask for forgiveness. See if that helps. do the kids know about the cheating? Surprised they can be manipulated by their mom given they are older. the stress would be high. Sorry about that. Situation seems hard. And honestly a bit weird. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 On 1/24/2024 at 1:16 PM, Maxman said: What did it show when you went for your recent physical and blood work? I had my annual physical yesterday. Down 25lbs from last year. Told him my world is falling apart and it is nothing but stress everywhere, but somehow I feel good lol. The blood work is so important. Talk to your Doctor about the results. I have lost 11 pounds in 5 months and I feel great. Not sure I can do the last 9 I need but I hope so. stress eating is very easy to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted January 28 Author Share Posted January 28 42 minutes ago, batman10023 said: Hopefully you can find a couple from the firehouse that still want to hang out with you. sorry about your daughter. I would gently keep trying every few months. Tough situation. If you have done anything wrong perhaps ask for forgiveness. See if that helps. do the kids know about the cheating? Surprised they can be manipulated by their mom given they are older. the stress would be high. Sorry about that. Situation seems hard. And honestly a bit weird. My x is a manipulator plus she funds my kids… children will always stick up for mom. I showed my adult children the Verizon phone records pages of texts phone calls … my son replies they are just friends …I said you let me know how you handle that when your soon to be bride does that to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slowmoe57 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 On 1/9/2024 at 9:24 PM, Maxman said: Change isn't easy. I totally get it. Small changes though, start there. Retired at 58 and loving every minute of it. wrong quote. Sorry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 6 hours ago, joewilly12 said: My x is a manipulator plus she funds my kids… children will always stick up for mom. I showed my adult children the Verizon phone records pages of texts phone calls … my son replies they are just friends …I said you let me know how you handle that when your soon to be bride does that to you. So the ex isn’t dating the guy now that the divorce is final? I think you should not speak to your adult kids about your ex. That’s my guess only way they will turn opinion. what are the kids accusing you of doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jetsons Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 On 12/25/2023 at 4:52 AM, joewilly12 said: I’m 60 …Haven’t had a beer since early July never drank hard liquor in my life haven’t smoked weed since high school never smoked in my life. no drugs. Been going through a bitter divorce for 2 years. What’s wrong with me? Besides the orthopedic pains from 5 surgeries I feel like sh*t. Any ideas? “Bitter” divorce for 2 yrs takes a toll… plus following this team does ZERO for your health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freestater Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 On 1/24/2024 at 1:47 PM, Maxman said: Volunteering +1. No better way to get away from your own problems then helping someone else through theirs. Puts things in perspective. Helping at a soup kitchen, walking the dogs at a local shelter. Makes excellent therapy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 On 1/28/2024 at 2:28 PM, joewilly12 said: My x is a manipulator plus she funds my kids… children will always stick up for mom. I showed my adult children the Verizon phone records pages of texts phone calls … my son replies they are just friends …I said you let me know how you handle that when your soon to be bride does that to you. The anger that is still there, I get it, it is real and justified I'm sure. But what is that emotion getting you right now? It has you stuck. If this were me, and I am not minimizing the absolute devastation this brings, I would be in therapy until I was able to move forward. Every single day that you are stuck in neutral or reverse, she continues to win. Put on Rocky 4, go to Russia (in your mind), and shut everything else out. It is you vs the world. The more you stay stuck, the more she can keep claiming this victory over you. Only you can end it. Looking for anyone to agree with you that she is the devil feels good I am sure, but it does nothing to help you. Our time on earth is short brother. Don't waste another single day on her. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted February 1 Author Share Posted February 1 15 hours ago, Maxman said: The anger that is still there, I get it, it is real and justified I'm sure. But what is that emotion getting you right now? It has you stuck. If this were me, and I am not minimizing the absolute devastation this brings, I would be in therapy until I was able to move forward. Every single day that you are stuck in neutral or reverse, she continues to win. Put on Rocky 4, go to Russia (in your mind), and shut everything else out. It is you vs the world. The more you stay stuck, the more she can keep claiming this victory over you. Only you can end it. Looking for anyone to agree with you that she is the devil feels good I am sure, but it does nothing to help you. Our time on earth is short brother. Don't waste another single day on her.g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted February 1 Author Share Posted February 1 @Maxman Good therapy is hard to find my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 54 minutes ago, joewilly12 said: @Maxman Good therapy is hard to find my friend. No it isn't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted February 1 Author Share Posted February 1 2 hours ago, Maxman said: No it isn't. Any suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 On 2/1/2024 at 3:34 PM, joewilly12 said: Any suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks That is a very personal decision. I think reading the bios of therapists online is a good place to start. Finding someone, trusting them and letting them help is important. The first few sessions might be painful as they try to help you work through things. Sticking with it is the key. You have to give it a shot, it is your best bet at starting to wake up happy again IMO. I am rooting for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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