Matt39 Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 My buddy sent me this: SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me. My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40. Serious replies only, please. this is in or around Felony Flats no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smizzy Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 If there were spelling errors I would be convinced that TomShane wrote that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomShane Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 That is awesome! I mean, awsum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirlancemehlot Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 If I were just a bit more gay, I'd respond to that guy's ad, have tepid sex with him, and complain about it afterwards. See, the marriage counselor says I should look at things from my wife's point of view. Come to think of it, I'd also steal his wallet and blow his best friend. No sense in going halfway if the counseling is going to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 If I were just a bit more gay, I'd respond to that guy's ad, have tepid sex with him, and complain about it afterwards. See, the marriage counselor says I should look at things from my wife's point of view. Come to think of it, I'd also steal his wallet and blow his best friend. No sense in going halfway if the counseling is going to work. Brilliant! BTW - next time my ex-wife gets divorced, I'm going to give this guy her number. It's a match made in, well, wherever such matches are made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavrik Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 How about the self-described "Ladies Man" of JN: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt39 Posted July 28, 2005 Author Share Posted July 28, 2005 How about the self-described "Ladies Man" of JN: I thought Utah Gangsta was gone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Division Marduk Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 He shaved off the beard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mavrik Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I thought Utah Gangsta was gone? That would be Jetsfaninsec124. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomShane Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 wow, honesty is key, pretty much what all men turn out to be, atleast i have MY (EMPHASIS ON my) prince already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xcel2NuFX Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 seriously that was hilarious I want to go party with that guy i bet he rocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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