Serious- need advice

[L.S. Dylan]

My best friend has been badly depressed for a few months. I need advice because I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure why he feels like he does. He isn't depressed because of a girl or a death in the family. Feels like he's kind of pushed me away. Please, any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Verde]

Maybe he's on medication that's causing his depression.. happens a lot.

[Blackout]

just offer to hang out with him as much as possible

let him know he's wanted

[Ghost]

[quote name='Blackout

[Blackout]

Is that what you need? :rl:

huh?

is that a joke?

[gg]

does he have family you could talk to? have you talked to him directly about your concerns?

[Blackout]

leave it for Ghost to come into a thread with "Serious" wrote at the top and treat the thread like some kind of joke just so he can continue his daily tradition of attacking Jetnation's finest poster

what a turdball

[Ghost]

[quote name='Blackout

[Blackout]

Your the 'Finest' poster?

well Sperm Edwards is my favorite poster on here

but Blackout ranks highly on Jetnation's career home run list

but you just registered last year, newbie

[Borgoguy]

I am not trying to be smart, but some of us just see the world as a frustrating, depressing place. I don't even see the light hearted, positive person I was as a young man anymore. As long as your friend is not clinically depressed--for which he should get medical treatment--it just may be his personality. Continue to be his friend, and don't stop inviting him to hang out, even if you know it might be difficult. You don't want him to go further inward.

[Blackout]

I am not trying to be smart, but some of us just see the world as a frustrating, depressing place. I don't even see the light hearted, positive person I was as a young man anymore. As long as your friend is not clinically depressed--for which he should get medical treatment--it just may be his personality. Continue to be his friend, and don't stop inviting him to hang out, even if you know it might be difficult. You don't want him to go further inward.

hey Borgoguy, you better watch out, Ghost may be making fun of you next for taking a thread seriously

[Ghost]

[quote name='Blackout

[Borgoguy]

[quote name='Blackout

[Ghost]

[quote name='Blackout

[Blackout]

Whatever you say Tupac.

Quit hating

You are a disgrace to Philadelphia sports fans...

that's hard to say

[L.S. Dylan]

Maybe he's on medication that's causing his depression.. happens a lot.

yeah that's what he thought at first. so he went through all that of changing meds and stuff. he's now on antidepressants

[quote name='Blackout

[war ensemble]

Get him to go to a counselor or someone similar who can help him out. If he needed meds, and then a higher dose of meds to help him out then you know there's a problem. Just stick with him throughout it and try to make him feel important, loved, etc. In my opinion, everybody on this planet goes through depression at some point in their lives, it's just totally up to their personality to decide how they react to it. Some will hide it, some wear it upon themselves. Good luck with everything. I know how painful depression can be, it's had a drastic effect on my family.

You are lucky though that your friend is letting you know that he is depressed. Oftentimes the depression will just get worse and worse without anyone knowing if the person leaves it to themselves-- they feel like they're living two lives and nothing matters, etc. Good luck and stick in there.

[faba]

Offer him as much support as much as you can- you are a good friend to care so deeply about him.

[Garb]

A friend of mine's husband is going through some real mood changes, depression, lethargy, angst - you name it - because of the medication he is taking to combat the addiction he had to prescription meds - that were prescribed to him after back and shoulder surgery. The guy just isn't the same guy he used to be. Keep on top of it - as I pray his family is as well -and hope that it gets better. Drugs can do crazy things to your body and mind.

[Ghost]

[quote name='Blackout

[The Gun Of Bavaria]

My best friend has been badly depressed for a few months. I need advice because I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure why he feels like he does. He isn't depressed because of a girl or a death in the family. Feels like he's kind of pushed me away. Please, any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Is he a Jets fan????

Seriously as someone who once had it, he'll only be able to beat it once he's ready, so you have to somehow push him towards wanting to do it without being a pest at the same time.

[Jetlag]

Is he just pushing you away or is he pushing everyone away? How old is he? What does he do for a job, does he like it and if not, is he striving to for another goal?

The reason I bring these questions up, is that I was in a funk a few years ago. I was unsure about what I wanted in life and where it was leading. I couldn't understand why it seemed like everyone else was happy or seemed to "get life".

Then I sort of "woke up". I realized I was being lazy and needed to invest more in myself. I've done nothing but worked hard at trying to be the person I want to be since. It's never easy but the thing that really makes you stronger is actually fighting through the doubt.

Honestly the best way to fight general malaise/depression is not a pill or therapy but hard work because of the self-confidence it helps to build. Anyway hopefully this makes sense. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone?

The question I ask myself everyday is "How can I challenge myself today?" It doesn't always happen, because we all need days to unwind or just detach ourselves from the grind but having to ability to plug back in and go right back at it the next day is one of the greatest traits a person can have IMO.

[Ghost]

Is he a Jets fan????

Seriously as someone who once had it, he'll only be able to beat it once he's ready, so you have to somehow push him towards wanting to do it without being a pest at the same time.

:rl:

[L.S. Dylan]

Get him to go to a counselor or someone similar who can help him out. If he needed meds, and then a higher dose of meds to help him out then you know there's a problem. Just stick with him throughout it and try to make him feel important, loved, etc. In my opinion, everybody on this planet goes through depression at some point in their lives, it's just totally up to their personality to decide how they react to it. Some will hide it, some wear it upon themselves. Good luck with everything. I know how painful depression can be, it's had a drastic effect on my family.

You are lucky though that your friend is letting you know that he is depressed. Oftentimes the depression will just get worse and worse without anyone knowing if the person leaves it to themselves-- they feel like they're living two lives and nothing matters, etc. Good luck and stick in there.

yeah i agree, everyone does go through some sort of depression. its scary stuff. i feel like counselors are the best way to handle it. he hasnt really been shy with saying he was depressed but more so the fact of getting into it. he couldnt really articulate it. thanks WE.

A friend of mine's husband is going through some real mood changes, depression, lethargy, angst - you name it - because of the medication he is taking to combat the addiction he had to prescription meds - that were prescribed to him after back and shoulder surgery. The guy just isn't the same guy he used to be. Keep on top of it - as I pray his family is as well -and hope that it gets better. Drugs can do crazy things to your body and mind.

they really can, ive seen it in my family. i really hate medication and i dont even want to get started talking about the bastards. thanks garb, i hope her husband bounces back. we've all been trying to help , including his family. thank god he is not alone in this

Is he a Jets fan????

Seriously as someone who once had it, he'll only be able to beat it once he's ready, so you have to somehow push him towards wanting to do it without being a pest at the same time.

actually a giants fan! he has it easy!

ok yeah i admit i kind of gave up for like a month and that wasnt cool. thought maybe if i gave him some time but it hasnt really worked like that. i have to step it up. but you are right, thanks gob

[L.S. Dylan]

Is he just pushing you away or is he pushing everyone away? How old is he? What does he do for a job, does he like it and if not, is he striving to for another goal?

The reason I bring these questions up, is that I was in a funk a few years ago. I was unsure about what I wanted in life and where it was leading. I couldn't understand why it seemed like everyone else was happy or seemed to "get life".

Then I sort of "woke up". I realized I was being lazy and needed to invest more in myself. I've done nothing but worked hard at trying to be the person I want to be since. It's never easy but the thing that really makes you stronger is actually fighting through the doubt.

Honestly the best way to fight general malaise/depression is not a pill or therapy but hard work because of the self-confidence it helps to build. Anyway hopefully this makes sense. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone?

The question I ask myself everyday is "How can I challenge myself today?" It doesn't always happen, because we all need days to unwind or just detach ourselves from the grind but having to ability to plug back in and go right back at it the next day is one of the greatest traits a person can have IMO.

very true statements, at least in my opinion although i'm very young and have a lot to learn

well, no job but goes to university and hes an insane guitar player. i think he's pretty happy with that although i could be wrong. we plan to tour the world but not at the moment, this has haulted things. i think it's just been building with him in general. this year has sucked and he went through something like this last year but only for a short period of time.

i agree with you though, i kinda got into a funk too.. you need to lead a purposeful life or it will mess you up.

[joewilly]

lotsa good advice here...blackout & ghost excluded.

I like the talking to someone your friend is really close to like a family member for a casual conversation before throwin a straight jacket on him.

borgoguy made good sense & yes the proverbial spring has gone outta my step as well.

[L.S. Dylan]

lotsa good advice here...blackout & ghost excluded.

I like the talking to someone your friend is really close to like a family member for a casual conversation before throwin a straight jacket on him.

borgoguy made good sense & yes the proverbial spring has gone outta my step as well.

well the thing is, we are close. probably hung out everyday the last 5-6 years and been friends since first day of 3rd grade. this is what bothers me -that i cant help him.

[Ghost]

[joewilly]

well the thing is, we are close. probably hung out everyday the last 5-6 years and been friends since first day of 3rd grade. this is what bothers me -that i cant help him.

you must know the family then. since he won't talk & it's a very delicate topic, pool your thoughts with others who care about him. what age group are we talkin here anyway?

[Borgoguy]

Is he just pushing you away or is he pushing everyone away? How old is he? What does he do for a job, does he like it and if not, is he striving to for another goal?

The reason I bring these questions up, is that I was in a funk a few years ago. I was unsure about what I wanted in life and where it was leading. I couldn't understand why it seemed like everyone else was happy or seemed to "get life".

Then I sort of "woke up". I realized I was being lazy and needed to invest more in myself. I've done nothing but worked hard at trying to be the person I want to be since. It's never easy but the thing that really makes you stronger is actually fighting through the doubt.

Honestly the best way to fight general malaise/depression is not a pill or therapy but hard work because of the self-confidence it helps to build. Anyway hopefully this makes sense. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone?

The question I ask myself everyday is "How can I challenge myself today?" It doesn't always happen, because we all need days to unwind or just detach ourselves from the grind but having to ability to plug back in and go right back at it the next day is one of the greatest traits a person can have IMO.

That is a very astute and interesting comment. I think there is great validity in what you are saying. Nice post.

[Jetlag]

very true statements, at least in my opinion although i'm very young and have a lot to learn

well, no job but goes to university and hes an insane guitar player. i think he's pretty happy with that although i could be wrong. we plan to tour the world but not at the moment, this has haulted things. i think it's just been building with him in general. this year has sucked and he went through something like this last year but only for a short period of time.

i agree with you though, i kinda got into a funk too.. you need to lead a purposeful life or it will mess you up.

This happened 2 years ago. Somethings I've worked on since have been getting my BA in Applied Math (which I'm now only 7 classes away), passing my first actuarial exam, learning guitar, going to the gym and smaller things such as my poker game which has gotten much better and I feel I can play with anyone. Also I just turned the corner on my golf swing, this just happened like last week so I have to try and keep it now.

The fact that he's an excellent guitarist is great. It means he knows what it's like to work hard at something and just having that knowledge can help a lot. But maybe he's at a point where guitar doesn't challenge him anymore and that either A) he should push himself further or take on a new goal. It sounds like he has hit "The Wall", that's usually when I know that I'm close to getting over the hump and with an extra push I can turn the next corner.

Does he do a lot or any illegal drugs? I smoked a lot of pot in my day and all it does is make you continue to over analyze the crappy situation you're in. Anyway, I feel like I'm getting too preachy, which is not my intention. I just am pretty passionate about this subject.

The best thing for you to do is this, stay positive, never let his negativity bring you down. Hopefully let your good vibes rub off. Also don't push the kid, that can make a person withdraw even further. Like I said stay positive and try to get him to be active.

[#27TheDominator]

A lot of good advice here. It's a fine line. You want to be there for him, but if you push him too hard he'll probably just withdraw and it'll be worse for both of you. Like Borgo mentioned, I am pretty much a miserable bastard, but my attitude is basically the world is so ****ed up you just have to laugh at it and enjoy what ever you can. You guys are artists, so you probably have a different outlook than somebody like me. Just try to be there for him without pushing too hard. If he's being medicated he should already be talking to somebody which is the first step.

There is a very old saying that I actually remember Jumbo Elliot using when questioned about his perenially bad back: Every day above ground is a good day.

[L.S. Dylan]

you must know the family then. since he won't talk & it's a very delicate topic, pool your thoughts with others who care about him. what age group are we talkin here anyway?

we are both 22

This happened 2 years ago. Somethings I've worked on since have been getting my BA in Applied Math (which I'm now only 7 classes away), passing my first actuarial exam, learning guitar, going to the gym and smaller things such as my poker game which has gotten much better and I feel I can play with anyone. Also I just turned the corner on my golf swing, this just happened like last week so I have to try and keep it now.

The fact that he's an excellent guitarist is great. It means he knows what it's like to work hard at something and just having that knowledge can help a lot. But maybe he's at a point where guitar doesn't challenge him anymore and that either A) he should push himself further or take on a new goal. It sounds like he has hit "The Wall", that's usually when I know that I'm close to getting over the hump and with an extra push I can turn the next corner.

Does he do a lot or any illegal drugs? I smoked a lot of pot in my day and all it does is make you continue to over analyze the crappy situation you're in. Anyway, I feel like I'm getting too preachy, which is not my intention. I just am pretty passionate about this subject.

The best thing for you to do is this, stay positive, never let his negativity bring you down. Hopefully let your good vibes rub off. Also don't push the kid, that can make a person withdraw even further. Like I said stay positive and try to get him to be active.

Jetlag, great insight man. yes there has been smoking pot but hes cut down a lot. he actually said that he's gotten better at guitar but still at the same time didn't have much inspiration to pick it up and play. even referred to the beatles 'yer blues' when john lennon says "feel so suicidial even hate my rock n roll" cause this is a kid who knows an unbelievable amount about music and was barely listening to any. says he understands john lennon in a totally different way now. but i think he has hit that wall, you are right

anyway, this whole thing kinda started when he felt physically ill and he started reading all this **** on webmd. that wasnt the best idea because being a hypochondriac, he started getting really paranoid. he went to doctors quite a lot for few months, they ran all kinds of tests, couldnt find anything wrong, and that really freaked him out. then it took its toll mentally.

i keep telling him that he'll be ok and i really believe it. once he comes out of this he'll feel great and have a new perspective in day to day life and probably enjoy it more. i know when i started to come out of my funk i believed in myself more than ever.

[L.S. Dylan]

by the way, thank you everyone. never posted anything like this before. i really was lost before, this has helped a lot so far just to understanding everything.

[Verde]

A friend of mine's husband is going through some real mood changes, depression, lethargy, angst - you name it - because of the medication he is taking to combat the addiction he had to prescription meds - that were prescribed to him after back and shoulder surgery. The guy just isn't the same guy he used to be. Keep on top of it - as I pray his family is as well -and hope that it gets better. Drugs can do crazy things to your body and mind.

Drums.. I can second this...

My brother was on medication for colitis and it completely changed his personality. Or maybe I should say that it magnified the darker parts of his personality. It was scary. He was never really a happy go lucky kinda guy to begin with.. rather a little pessimistic/negative and the medication REALLY amplified those traits to the point that I was really concerned for his safety. Fortunately, he realized what was happening and stopped taking the meds.