I'm off to Boston.

[Bob]

Leaving in a couple hours for a conference and a long weekend in that nest of vipers to the east.

Just a couple of obligatory meetings and parties, but mostly a few days away with my wife. Gonna do some touristy stuff, wearing Jets and Yankees gear the whole time, just to annoy the locals.

Our hotel has free wi-fi, so I'll probably check in.

If any of you happen to run into any of the Jets players or coaches, please give them this message for me:

BEAT THE GO**AMNED, MOTHER***KING DOLPHINS AND DON'T EMBARRASS US AND YOURSELVES LIKE YOU DID LAST WEEK, DAMMIT!

Thanks!

[faba]

Bob enjoy yourself

I am going up there the first of Oct with my sister and her family to visit my nephew at Boston College

If you like historical stuff we went to see U.S Constitution last year -pretty neat

[PFSIKH]

Some tips for you Bob. :wink:

1. In reality, very few people from South Boston are math geniuses.

However, to be safe, assume that everyone from Southie is smarter than you.

2. If you want to wear skin-tight black t-shirts out at night, you are required

by Massachusetts State Law to contain at least three vowels in your last name.

3. Crosswalks and traffic lights are merely suggestions.

4. Harmlessly bumping into another guy in a crowded bar is tantamount in other

regions of the country to sucker-punching someone's grandmother.

5. Steak tips are a local delicacy.

6. The speed of walking in Boston is equivalent to the speed of jogging in other

areas of the country. Keep up the pace or you will be chop blocked.

7. From the months of April until October, 85% of Boston's population subsists

almost entirely on iced coffees from Dunkin' Donuts.

8. If you are a girl between 18 and 21, Bronson Arroyo will be contacting you

shortly.

9. You are not going to win an argument with any of the scalpers outside of

Fenway. Just pay what they ask and be on your way.

10. There is no rational explanation for why there is always a line outside of

Ned Devine's.

11. Catholic Memorial will win the Super 8.

12. The mayor can say whatever he wants but do not dare park in a space that

someone has shoveled out and marked with a cone, chair, pool table or llama. You

can write all the whiny letters to the Globe that you want but you are still

going to end up with a busted windshield.

13. The guy pushing his son in the wheelchair in the Marathon is Dick Hoyt. He's

65 and could still kick your ass. Make a comment and someone next to you will

save him the time.

14. Don't be gullible enough to think that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's

Day.

15. There are no exclusive bars or clubs in Boston. You may think you're hot

**** because you're sitting in Saint but the chick next to you is a single mom

from Revere and the guy on the other side of you is a house painter from

Dorchester. Get over yourself.

16. If you hear one of these arguments happening in a bar, don't go near it.

Literally, walk the other way.

17. Red Sox-Yankees

18. Charlestown-Southie

19. Boston-New York

20. Boston-the world

21. Friendlys-Brighams

22. Barstool Sports-Sports Illustrated

23. No one cares about where you are from.

24. Yes, the Green Line's B line is one of Dante's Level of Hell. However, stop

complaining because you should have rode on it a few years ago when it stopped

approximately every 8 feet.

25. You are allowed to go to a Red Sox game without buying brand new Red Sox

gear. You will be shocked to know that the majority of people going to Sox games

are not outfitted in BoSox gear from head to toe. I only mention this because if

you are sitting in front of me in a replica Curt Schilling jersey, Red Sox hat

and you're quoting John Updike and then turn to someone and ask whose number 1

was retired, I am going to get you banned for yelling racial slurs at David

Ortiz.

26. If you linger at all when crossing the street, you have forfeited your right

of way.

27. Actually, even if you don't linger, you really don't the right of way when

crossing the street.

28. If you don't want to hear World Champion Red Sox or Patriots fans complain,

don't go to a sports bar. Because we will complain even though Boston is the

undisputed sports capital of this country.

29. Every soft drink is a Coke.

30. Evacuation Day and Patriots Day are holidays that only Boston is cool enough

to have. Remember to say a little pray that you are fortunate enough to live

somewhere that celebrates holidays by drinking Guinness and drinking Guinness

while watching a Kenyan run.

31. If you aren't going 50+ mph on Storrow Drive, get over into the right lane

and let some guys with testes get to where they are going.

32. Unless you are Lance Armstrong, don't try and outpeddle my car. I'm not

necessarily going to run you down, put please recognize the fact that my SUV

could crush you and your Schwinn.

33. Being a Ms. Barstool is roughly the academic equivalent of being a Rhodes

Scholar.

34. The top four athletes in Boston history, in no particular order, are Bill

Russell, Ted Williams, Bobby Orr and Larry Bird. Tom Brady is sitting just

outside the top 4.

35. There are a few phrases that are guaranteed to get you punched in the face

at any Boston bar.

36. "26 World Championships"

37. "Dude, I don't care if you are from Southie, what are you gonna do- fraction

me to death?"

38. "Charlestown- isn't that where all the Yuppies live?"

39. "Peyton Manning is a better quarterback than Tom Brady."

40. "Fidelity Investments is loaded with douchebags."

41. "Hey, say park my car in Harvard Yard."

42. Just to let you know that sometimes even people from Boston get a little

nervous, I had a Whitey Bulger line in there originally but took it out. Never

know who you are going to run into on Broadway.

43. No one calls it Cape Cod. It's the Cape. Does it really need more

clarification? If you are going to the Cape, where do you thinking you are

headed? Cape Canaveral? The Cape of Good Hope?

44. Everyone in Boston between the ages of 25-40 has a New Kids on the Block

story.

45. Take lefts on red onto one-way streets. I don't know for a fact that it is

legal but it makes perfect sense to me.

46. Recognize the fact that just because you may outnumber a guy when the fight

starts, chances are you won't when you get outside. You would be amazed at how

quickly someone will get involved in a fight against you just because he and the

guy you're fighting both played sports in the GBL.

47. Spring starts in Boston when the girls hit BU's beach.

48. The best days of the year are when the Sox have a playoff game and the Pats

are playing the same day.

49. There is an honor and dignity inherent in trying to get a parking space.

Obey the rules. Even if they are unwritten.

50. Best way to assimilate- buy me a drink.

[TomShane]

Good luck, Bob. I mean that. Good luck.

[Bob]

1 - I DO like history, Faba, and the Constitution is absolutely on my list.

2 - That's funny stuff, PFSIKH.

3 - Tom, thanks, but I don't need luck. I'm Bob.

4 - GG, that stuff runs downhill into CT, doesn't it?

[gg]

did you pack your hazmat suit?

[spjets]

make sure you get your shots!!!

[faba]

1 - I DO like history, Faba, and the Constitution is absolutely on my list.

2 - That's funny stuff, PFSIKH.

3 - Tom, thanks, but I don't need luck. I'm Bob.

4 - GG, that stuff runs downhill into CT, doesn't it?

Bob- it is worth seeing then if you like that type of stuff

This year we are actually going to see Boston College football game on Sat Oct 1st

[gg]

1

4 - GG, that stuff runs downhill into CT, doesn't it?

yep ...want me to send you a jar of it?

[Bob]

Well, we arrived safely in the greater Bahston area.

Not only do they root for scumbag teams here, they talk funny, too.

[Smizzy]

Well, we arrived safely in the greater Bahston area.

Not only do they root for scumbag teams here, they talk funny, too.

Scumbags!

[Garb]

I hate it when New Yorkers visit my fair city. Our collective IQ drops about 50 points. Can't wait to return to normal on Monday.

[gg]

Our collective IQ drops about 50 points.

considering you each have an IQ in the single digits... that is a high percentage drop!

[124]

Kill a Patsie and BlowSox fan for me will ya Bob?

Or just kill Bob Ryan.

[Bob]

I hate it when New Yorkers visit my fair city. Our collective IQ drops about 50 points. Can't wait to return to normal on Monday.

Please. The people here are too frigging stupid to even speak correctly.

[Garb]

I'm sure you are making many friends, Bob....being such a nice guy and all....

Do yourself a favor - please do wear your Yankees T-shirt when you visit the Bunker Hill Monument, okay? You can thank me "latah"

[MasonJet]

I hate it when New Yorkers visit my fair city. Our collective IQ drops about 50 points. Can't wait to return to normal on Monday.

You should be lucky people from such a great city swallow their pride and go to that sh!thole. :wink:

[joewilly]

anyone else worried about losing bob as a poster?

that witty,dynamic humor we've all come to love around here will go sailing over every head in "baston" & perhaps misconstrued by many of the bright sparks.

if he's not out by tuesday, i'm goin in after him

[Garb]

Don't you worry. We don't want him.

[Bob]

Ok, here's the deal on Boston:

The aquarium is wonderful. Our whale watch was hindered by weather, but we did see some whales.

Fanuiel Hall/Quincy Market is nice enough, but there's so much Red Sux gear everywhere that I could barely keep down the excellent sandwich and Boston Ale I had at the "Cheers" replica.

Whoever tried to argue with 'Banza, saying that Bahston is a football town, and not a baseball town, is full of sh*t. Yeah they're all bandwagon-hopping jizm receptacles, but they're on the wagon for the Sux, not the Patsies.

My Yankees cap has been a big hit. It'll probably be even bigger tomorrow, now that Sux fans feel the choke a bit more. They MUST know it's over.

Doing a trolley tour of historic sites tomorrow.

Bottom line - The Sux and Patsies are lower than the bacteria that eat the sh*t of creatures that eat sh*t, but I LIKE Boston and recommend it as a travel destination. Try to avoid tropical storms though. It is NOT helping my vacation.

[haggis]

Bob, being the sports fan that you are, you are in luck. The Sox are at HOME this weekend! I doubledog dare you to wear your nyy lid down to Yawkey Way. It'll be a hit.

[faba]

Ok, here's the deal on Boston:

The aquarium is wonderful. Our whale watch was hindered by weather, but we did see some whales.

Fanuiel Hall/Quincy Market is nice enough, but there's so much Red Sux gear everywhere that I could barely keep down the excellent sandwich and Boston Ale I had at the "Cheers" replica.

Whoever tried to argue with 'Banza, saying that Bahston is a football town, and not a baseball town, is full of Sh#t. Yeah they're all bandwagon-hopping jizm receptacles, but they're on the wagon for the Sux, not the Patsies.

My Yankees cap has been a big hit. It'll probably be even bigger tomorrow, now that Sux fans feel the choke a bit more. They MUST know it's over.

Doing a trolley tour of historic sites tomorrow.

Bottom line - The Sux and Patsies are lower than the bacteria that eat the Sh#t of creatures that eat Sh#t, but I LIKE Boston and recommend it as a travel destination. Try to avoid tropical storms though. It is NOT helping my vacation.

Bob

I agree Boston is definitely a Red Sox town from what I saw last year there- will reconfirm in a couple of weeks

[Bob]

Bob, being the sports fan that you are, you are in luck. The Sox are at HOME this weekend! I doubledog dare you to wear your nyy lid down to Yawkey Way. It'll be a hit.

I went online a few weeks ago to see about getting tix for Oakland's sweep of the Sawx, but they're sold out. Without the game, I guess I won't go down to see the freak show.

[joewilly]

my wife & I come close to making it to boston on a lot of travel plans. she's british & a historical buff(washington dc was a great trip for her).

Is it true there are are not many hotel rooms per capita & they are pricier than most cities?

chances are we'll go in the spring, when sox & pats are thru licking their wounds

[faba]

my wife & I come close to making it to boston on a lot of travel plans. she's british & a historical buff(washington dc was a great trip for her).

Is it true there are are not many hotel rooms per capita & they are pricier than most cities?

chances are we'll go in the spring, when sox & pats are thru licking their wounds

joewilly Boston is not an inexpensive city- but living in New York/New Jersey I have come to expect that- I am staying in a Sheraton in a couple of weeks for 199/day as example

[joewilly]

thanks faba, that seems about right I guess. I usually stay at the marriotmarquis when in nyc for about that price

have a great time there. Hope your nephew does well at bc, knowing the price of a good school these days

[haggis]

I went online a few weeks ago to see about getting tix for Oakland's sweep of the Sawx, but they're sold out. Without the game, I guess I won't go down to see the freak show.

You can get scalper tickets for a reasonable price. With the forecast the way it is you can get standing room for about $25 and will be able to find seats. Bleacher seats you can get for the same price I bet. That said the standing room area is great as there is a little porch complete with concessions, beer stalls and close to bathrooms plus you can get a good view of the game and you can be undercover. Just take OFF the nyy when negotiating a price!

[Jets28]

While there Bob ...look for this restaurant called 99...It had excellent food. And big hearty servings. Not to mention a $4 - 24oz glass of beer...maybe $3. Good eating. I'll do Boston before it gets to cold. Nice city except for those damn chowds and sux...

[PatsFanTX]

Bob,

Make sure you spend a lot of time in Cambridge.

You'll feel right at home.

All the sidewalks tilt to the left. :wink:

[dickkotite]

joewilly Boston is not an inexpensive city- but living in New York/New Jersey I have come to expect that- I am staying in a Sheraton in a couple of weeks for 199/day as example

faba a man of few words that wouldnt be caught dead at a motel6. the mystery continues..........