Where did I go?? (For those who asked)

[Jet_Engine1]

I took a breather from the board, FB, and even work for a while over the last few months. I needed to get some "real life" stuff squared away. Between work, kids, my parents health issues, and some other stuff too boring and ubiquitous to talk about, I realized stress srress had caused me to develop a hair trigger temper, depression, and even some anxiety. It was seeping into all aspects of my life, so I finally admitted I had issues I needed help dealing with,  and went to EAP. 

 

I cut off almost all social media, eliminated the Nightly News, and even checked into a treatment center specifically for First Responders for 2 weeks. I was able to get off sleep meds (Ambien is an absolute nightmare that should be pulled from the market imo) and reset my sleep habits through good sleep hygiene and reset my circadian rhythm after nearly 20 years of 24 hour shifts. I also had the opportunity to talk to a Psychologist who was a 30 year First Reponder 2x a week, and am still in touch with him. Helped me put a lot of my issues and stress triggers in perspective. Very helpful. Itbwas tough being away from my family with limited contact for 2 weeks, but my wife and I both thought it would be good for me, and work was totally on board, My Fire Chief actually gave me some great reading materials while I was away, and just wants to get me back into fighting shape after 2 years of riding a desk in Admin and becoming isolated and depressed. 

 

I also decided to totally "dry out", and I haven't had a drink since 4/17. I didn't do AA or anything (I fundamentally disagree with their philosophy and approach, and found the adherents very cult-like), but I just chose to stop for a while. I'm going on a family (Disney) cruise in September if they're back in ops, and I might decide to have a drink then, but who knows?

 

Meanwhile, I have been following Dr. Jason Fungs Intermittent Fasting protocols and working out again every day, and have lost 25 pounds in the last month and a half. 

 

So, that's where I went if you were curious. I feel better, and will continue to try to live a better version of my life, but man, current events and the insanity of the world sure are making it tough to relax and keep stress down. I need to keep unplugged from sh*t like the News and FB. Heck, to tell you the truth, during the 2 weeks I was at the treatment facility when I didn't have access to my phone or internet (voluntarily), I didnt really miss it. Not even during the Draft, which I watched old school,  on TV with a Street and Smith's guide. LOL. 

I graduated from HS in 1989. in the 31 years since I became an adult, I have been a LEO, Infantryman,  and then a Firefighter/Paramedic. I've been to war, I was in NYC on 9/11, I have seen things at work that would horrify most people, and I've seen those things over and over again. I have watched countless people die while I was trying to help them. But of all of those things, the thing that broke me was leaving my station and my crew, leaving the line and going to the office. It's crazy. 

 

Anyway, glad to be back. I'll make a concerted effort to be less provocative here and stay out of the current events threads. I should have kept quiet on the recent events, this is no place for that stuff anyway.  

 

Cheers.

 

@14 in Green @T0mShane

[14 in Green]

13 minutes ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

I took a breather from the board, FB, and even work for a while over the last few months. I needed to get some "real life" stuff squared away. Between work, kids, my parents health issues, and some other stuff too boring and ubiquitous to talk about, I realized stress srress had caused me to develop a hair trigger temper, depression, and even some anxiety. It was seeping into all aspects of my life, so I finally admitted I had issues I needed help dealing with,  and went to EAP. 

 

I cut off almost all social media, eliminated the Nightly News, and even checked into a treatment center specifically for First Responders for 2 weeks. I was able to get off sleep meds (Ambien is an absolute nightmare that should be pulled from the market imo) and reset my sleep habits through good sleep hygiene and reset my circadian rhythm after nearly 20 years of 24 hour shifts. I also had the opportunity to talk to a Psychologist who was a 30 year First Reponder 2x a week, and am still in touch with him. Helped me put a lot of my issues and stress triggers in perspective. Very helpful. Itbwas tough being away from my family with limited contact for 2 weeks, but my wife and I both thought it would be good for me, and work was totally on board, My Fire Chief actually gave me some great reading materials while I was away, and just wants to get me back into fighting shape after 2 years of riding a desk in Admin and becoming isolated and depressed. 

 

I also decided to totally "dry out", and I haven't had a drink since 4/17. I didn't do AA or anything (I fundamentally disagree with their philosophy and approach, and found the adherents very cult-like), but I just chose to stop for a while. I'm going on a family (Disney) cruise in September if they're back in ops, and I might decide to have a drink then, but who knows?

 

Meanwhile, I have been following Dr. Jason Fungs Intermittent Fasting protocols and working out again every day, and have lost 25 pounds in the last month and a half. 

 

So, that's where I went if you were curious. I feel better, and will continue to try to live a better version of my life, but man, current events and the insanity of the world sure are making it tough to relax and keep stress down. I need to keep unplugged from sh*t like the News and FB. Heck, to tell you the truth, during the 2 weeks I was at the treatment facility when I didn't have access to my phone or internet (voluntarily), I didnt really miss it. Not even during the Draft, which I watched old school,  on TV with a Street and Smith's guide. LOL. 

 

Glad to be back. I'll make a concerted effort to be less provocative here and stay out of the current events threads. I should have kept quiet on the recent events, this is no place for that stuff anyway.  

 

Cheers.

 

@14 in Green @T0mShane

Mike,

You're my boy in the world of JN.

We "met" and butted heads right away in, of all things, a Terrel Pryor thread, lol. Later on, you were the first to call me a Giants fan (although you used a few colorful adjectives before the word Giants). 

We started talking about a bunch of things and pretty soon realized we had a lot in common. Remember when I told you in real life if we were sitting in a bar we'd probably get into a fist fight, then become great friends? You told me that's exactly how you made most of your old Army buddies.

It's funny how you can get a read on the people here who wear their hearts on their sleeve. I had a strong suspicion what was going on with you these last few weeks, and it turns out I was right. What you did for yourself (and your family) shows more strength than anything you've done power lifting. #Admiration

If you read me as well as I think I do you, then you know I'm in your corner and here for you whenever you need a friend.

- John 

[HighPitch]

Good for you. Refresh my memory....were you the guy that made some post about drinking and got a lot of heat because of it? 

[14 in Green]

Just now, HighPitch said:

Good for you. Refresh my memory....were you the guy that made some post about drinking and got a lot of heat because of it? 

Probably, but Mike deserves a lot of heat for 99% of the sh*t he posts.

?

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

5 hours ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

I'm going on a family (Disney) cruise in September if they're back in ops

Are you crazy ? They are a floating petri dish .

[Jet_Engine1]

15 hours ago, SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN said:

Are you crazy ? They are a floating petri dish .

 

 

 

[Jetsfan80]

Who are you, again?

[Jet_Engine1]

16 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Who are you, again?

Absolutely no one. 

[T0mShane]

On 6/3/2020 at 1:55 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

Cheers

My brother, this is wonderful to hear and I’m glad you’re back. It’s so hard to recognize when you need to back away, excise those things that are hurting you and (where appropriate) to reach out for help. It takes a lot of strength and courage. Good for you, man. Hell yeah.

[HawkeyeJet]

Welcome back.  Mental health among men remains a bit of a taboo subject and I applaud you for realizing and taken the steps to remedy a problem.

Also congrats on the weight loss.  That alone can make a person field a world of difference.

This year sucks.  But hopefully there are a lot of people like you in this country who are willing to take a bad situation as a chance to better themselves and come out better than before all this mess.

 

[Jetsfan80]

51 minutes ago, HawkeyeJet said:

Welcome back.  Mental health among men remains a bit of a taboo subject and I applaud you for realizing and taken the steps to remedy a problem.

Yep.  And that needs to end.  The brain is an organ that needs to be worked on from time to time.  And that takes the form of counseling and/or medication.  

I see a counselor on a weekly basis, and have been for over 3 years, and take Buspar (anti-anxiety medication).  No shame to admit that, and anyone can ask me anything about my experience, either right here or via PM.  

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

16 hours ago, HawkeyeJet said:

Mental health among men remains a bit of a taboo subject

[Maxman]

On 6/3/2020 at 1:55 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I took a breather from the board, FB, and even work for a while over the last few months. I needed to get some "real life" stuff squared away. Between work, kids, my parents health issues, and some other stuff too boring and ubiquitous to talk about, I realized stress srress had caused me to develop a hair trigger temper, depression, and even some anxiety. It was seeping into all aspects of my life, so I finally admitted I had issues I needed help dealing with,  and went to EAP. 

 

I cut off almost all social media, eliminated the Nightly News, and even checked into a treatment center specifically for First Responders for 2 weeks. I was able to get off sleep meds (Ambien is an absolute nightmare that should be pulled from the market imo) and reset my sleep habits through good sleep hygiene and reset my circadian rhythm after nearly 20 years of 24 hour shifts. I also had the opportunity to talk to a Psychologist who was a 30 year First Reponder 2x a week, and am still in touch with him. Helped me put a lot of my issues and stress triggers in perspective. Very helpful. Itbwas tough being away from my family with limited contact for 2 weeks, but my wife and I both thought it would be good for me, and work was totally on board, My Fire Chief actually gave me some great reading materials while I was away, and just wants to get me back into fighting shape after 2 years of riding a desk in Admin and becoming isolated and depressed. 

 

I also decided to totally "dry out", and I haven't had a drink since 4/17. I didn't do AA or anything (I fundamentally disagree with their philosophy and approach, and found the adherents very cult-like), but I just chose to stop for a while. I'm going on a family (Disney) cruise in September if they're back in ops, and I might decide to have a drink then, but who knows?

 

Meanwhile, I have been following Dr. Jason Fungs Intermittent Fasting protocols and working out again every day, and have lost 25 pounds in the last month and a half. 

 

So, that's where I went if you were curious. I feel better, and will continue to try to live a better version of my life, but man, current events and the insanity of the world sure are making it tough to relax and keep stress down. I need to keep unplugged from sh*t like the News and FB. Heck, to tell you the truth, during the 2 weeks I was at the treatment facility when I didn't have access to my phone or internet (voluntarily), I didnt really miss it. Not even during the Draft, which I watched old school,  on TV with a Street and Smith's guide. LOL. 

I graduated from HS in 1989. in the 31 years since I became an adult, I have been a LEO, Infantryman,  and then a Firefighter/Paramedic. I've been to war, I was in NYC on 9/11, I have seen things at work that would horrify most people, and I've seen those things over and over again. I have watched countless people die while I was trying to help them. But of all of those things, the thing that broke me was leaving my station and my crew, leaving the line and going to the office. It's crazy. 

 

Anyway, glad to be back. I'll make a concerted effort to be less provocative here and stay out of the current events threads. I should have kept quiet on the recent events, this is no place for that stuff anyway.  

 

Cheers.

 

@14 in Green @T0mShane

Welcome back. Great job on the weight loss, that is a lot of weight in a month and a half, really good job.

[Wonderboy]

On 6/3/2020 at 1:55 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I took a breather from the board, FB, and even work for a while over the last few months. I needed to get some "real life" stuff squared away. Between work, kids, my parents health issues, and some other stuff too boring and ubiquitous to talk about, I realized stress srress had caused me to develop a hair trigger temper, depression, and even some anxiety. It was seeping into all aspects of my life, so I finally admitted I had issues I needed help dealing with,  and went to EAP. 

 

I cut off almost all social media, eliminated the Nightly News, and even checked into a treatment center specifically for First Responders for 2 weeks. I was able to get off sleep meds (Ambien is an absolute nightmare that should be pulled from the market imo) and reset my sleep habits through good sleep hygiene and reset my circadian rhythm after nearly 20 years of 24 hour shifts. I also had the opportunity to talk to a Psychologist who was a 30 year First Reponder 2x a week, and am still in touch with him. Helped me put a lot of my issues and stress triggers in perspective. Very helpful. Itbwas tough being away from my family with limited contact for 2 weeks, but my wife and I both thought it would be good for me, and work was totally on board, My Fire Chief actually gave me some great reading materials while I was away, and just wants to get me back into fighting shape after 2 years of riding a desk in Admin and becoming isolated and depressed. 

 

I also decided to totally "dry out", and I haven't had a drink since 4/17. I didn't do AA or anything (I fundamentally disagree with their philosophy and approach, and found the adherents very cult-like), but I just chose to stop for a while. I'm going on a family (Disney) cruise in September if they're back in ops, and I might decide to have a drink then, but who knows?

 

Meanwhile, I have been following Dr. Jason Fungs Intermittent Fasting protocols and working out again every day, and have lost 25 pounds in the last month and a half. 

 

So, that's where I went if you were curious. I feel better, and will continue to try to live a better version of my life, but man, current events and the insanity of the world sure are making it tough to relax and keep stress down. I need to keep unplugged from sh*t like the News and FB. Heck, to tell you the truth, during the 2 weeks I was at the treatment facility when I didn't have access to my phone or internet (voluntarily), I didnt really miss it. Not even during the Draft, which I watched old school,  on TV with a Street and Smith's guide. LOL. 

I graduated from HS in 1989. in the 31 years since I became an adult, I have been a LEO, Infantryman,  and then a Firefighter/Paramedic. I've been to war, I was in NYC on 9/11, I have seen things at work that would horrify most people, and I've seen those things over and over again. I have watched countless people die while I was trying to help them. But of all of those things, the thing that broke me was leaving my station and my crew, leaving the line and going to the office. It's crazy. 

 

Anyway, glad to be back. I'll make a concerted effort to be less provocative here and stay out of the current events threads. I should have kept quiet on the recent events, this is no place for that stuff anyway.  

 

Cheers.

 

@14 in Green @T0mShane

Good for you JetEngine. You have a stressful job no doubt and its good to see you are getting healthy in all aspects of your life. Word of caution however and its not meant as a negative criticism.  A lot of my clients experience substance abuse issues so my perspective is somewhat different than a layman.  How can you make an assessment on a program like AA if you didn't even engage it. I don't know 1 person who went to AA and didn't feel exactly the same way as you.  I mean who wants to go to AA?    And by engaging, I mean exactly that. Not just checking it out.  Give it 3 months on a consistent basis THEN make a better informed decision. If you want out, they will refund your misery.  With the pandemic its not possible now and only accessible online.  But what do you have to lose? Nothing.  Worst is you'll stay sober for 3 months. LOL.  You can always go back to drinking if you think you can do so safely . But you have to make your own determination and see what works and what doesn't. 

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation."

[Jet_Engine1]

Thank you for your input.