The "Happy Summer Soltice!" Edition of Post of the Week - June 21st, 2007

[GreenBeans]

"Callin' out around the world, are you ready for a brand new beat? Summer's here and the time is right, for dancing in the street".

That's right, folks, summertime is officially here according to Mother Nature. Now what to do with those now out of school kids? Hmmmm - I'll have to get back to you on that one, mine aren't old enough for that worry yet.

On to the stuff you are here for - this week's nominations:

-----

Originally Posted by Garb

Oh, honey, you misread my intent - or perhaps I didn't make myself very clear - I was agreeing with 'Phile - None of you are very bright.

I'm a genius Pats fan.

Originally Posted by Verde

Great. When Max makes a Pats forum, you can nominate yourself as mod.

(Editor's Note: Ooooohh, a hot chick fight - I LOVE IT.)

-----

Topic: The Official Happy Thankgiving Thread

Originally Posted by mdrago4

Its just aroundt he corner, what are your plans? anyone going anywhere?

(Editor's Note: I'm booked up already, drago - you free for next Memorial Day?)

-----

Topic: HBO Brings back Hard Knocks,, The idiot Herm led Chiefs are the subject

Originally Posted by shawn306

Bugg brought this up last week.

We need reviewers to write up summaries. I nominate the following

1) Jet Moses

2) Sperm Edwards

3) MSGOLD

4) nyjunc

This has comedy gold written all over it.

Originally Posted by Bugg

The potential for this to blow up in the faces of Peterson and Edwards is soemthing their egoes refuse to let them see. It's a rare occasion when a lack of self-awareness and ego-driven self-promotion in overdrive figure to once and for all show someone to be the fool that he is for one and all to see.

(Editor's Note: Bugg makes a great point here - egomaniacs like Herman never want to believe they're no very good at what they do. The problem is that Herman is not smart enough to figure out even after seeing it on video tape several times.)

-----

Originally Posted by MrsTaborJet

He was measuring his crap, not his penis...

Too much fart and sh!t talk around here for my taste... where'd all the gentlemen go?

Originally Posted by Arsis

women stopped having sex with them so they don't exist anymore.

(Editor's Note: You know, the sad fact here is that most people (not just women), at least before they figure it all out, are not interested in the "nice" people. They are interested in the less than reputable young lady at the end of the bar or the guy with tatoos, biceps, and sh!t for brains. Once (or is that "if") people grow up some, they realize that nice is a good thing - the waiting just sucks for those of us that have always been nice(yes, I am nice - f you if you don't believe me).)

-----

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

Happy

Birthday

- From Ecurb

(Editor's Note: That's just freakin' perfect, e! A Chad card for the Kellen man.)

-----

Topic: Congratulations Coach Max!!!!!!

Originally Posted by timbok

lol...ll is fun...

Originally Posted by Alk

Which team do you play for?

(Editor's Note: Ohhh, I hope it's the "J-Team" - maybe we can get some coupons for oil changes!)

-----

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

Here ya go...

(Editor's Note: This is by far the most vile, disgusting, and ingeniusly clever pictures that I've seen around here in a while.)

-----

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

TURD THREAD GOES BIG TIME

June 14, 2007

In a press release today, The Turd Thread announced that it will be insistuting a counterpart to the "Post of the Week." Every other week or so, the Turd Thread will announce the "Turds of the Week" nominated as "TOTW" by other Jet Nation posters. TOTW nominations should be reserved for those trully stinky posts that exemplify horrendous posting. Each winner will have the dudious honor of using Boss Turd himself in their signature. Sh!tty luck everyone!

(The Nomination: "POTW NOM or TOTW NOM i'm not sure ,but johnny is on a Sh1t streak ." - L.I.MikeBleedsGreen)

(Editor's Note: Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, or is that flatulence?)

-----

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

In true JN spirit I present the first JetNation Homo/Turd combo joke:

Q: What's the difference between a Gay JN Mod and a refrigerator?

A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

(Editor's Note: I thought the answer was "There is none - Max is constantly in and out of both")

-----

Originally Posted by Barton

Can anyone explain to me what it means when people say "Chad is a winner"?

What has he won?

Originally Posted by mdrago4

more games than he's lost

ps- do you know of any other players on the team than the three QB's? You should talk about linebackers for a full week, just to keep your mind moving a little bit.

(Editor's Note: Ummmm - his name is "Barton" - I'm just sayin'...)

-----

Originally Posted by Max

Why did Tiger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

(Editor's Note: This is the second time this has been nominated - I remember this because I got in trouble with Mrs. GB for teaching this joke to 'lil Beans...)

-----

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

Chad Pennington is 10-6 in the regular season and 0-1 (with a loss to the Pats) in the playoffs...

Thats as far back as my records go...

as far as Im concerned, Herm doesn't count.

Originally Posted by The Troll

Fine then.

Chad Pennington is a 31-year old QB with 17 touchdowns and 16 interceptions in his career.

(Editor's Note: Better than Rick Mirer, though...)

-----

Topic: CBS considering bringing "Jericho" back after protests

Originally Posted by madmike1

7 episodes. More CRAP ratings. Canceled again.

Originally Posted by 80

Do you ever say anything that might indicate you DON'T have a large stick lodged securely in your rectum?

(Editor's Note: Do you know for a fact that he does not have a large stick lodged there? See, maybe you are making some bad assumptions here, 80...)

-----

Topic: Predict the Post Week 17 Headline

Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards

Edwards Serves Up Bologna at Post-Game BBQ After Blowout Jets Win

(Editor's Note: Can you BBQ bologna? Can Herman pronounce bologna correctly? Does his bologna have a first name?)

-----

Originally Posted by Scott Dierking

Yankee fans say that the Red Sox fans are overly obsessed with them.

I declare it pretty even.

(Editor's Note: I call BS - everyone knows the Red Sox have 90 years of "wanna be" with the Yanks. This is similar to the Mets, just a longer period of time...)

-----

Originally Posted by Bob

An article about the Yankees in a Boston newspaper is proof that Yankee fans are obsessed with the Red Sox?

Only in Bizzarro Mets World.

(Editor's Note: That's what happens when you are the red-headed step-child of NY baseball.)

-----

Runner-up of the Week Sponsored by The Mid-Hudson Valley Chamber of Commerce

Topic: Chad is a winner, now kneel before him!

Originally Posted by jetophile

Holy Cr*p, I think I need to eat a bowl of ridiculous pills to even respond to this.

Why in the world would anyone want to put in an unproven? It's just mindless to entertain. Throw in Clemens if the season is truly lost on paper, I'm even re-thinking that position if Chad is strong and is HIMSELF doing well. In that event, I wouldn't yank him even then, especially if it means being the spoiler for another team with 2 games left, let's say. Why not rain on someone else's parade? Not that Clemens can't, but I'd rather see a QB that's lead the team all season long give us a better chance of knocking someone out if the game is meaningful to the other side - or to a rival.

The only 'expectations' I have for '07 is that we compete like hell every week and see what we've got. If we go 8-8, 9-7 (very possible), I doubt it will be the 'disaster' some fans would like to paint it. This is what rebuilding means. And Rome wasn't built in day. Patience for the right reasons, I'm perfectly willing to give that. And I've already been waiting a long, long, LONG time. Probably longer than some of you have been alive.

If the season goes better than I'm thinking, well, great then, but if you take a turn at 90 miles around a hairpin turn, you may wreck instead of getting there faster.

(Editor's Note: Great post, jeto - I like the way you think.)

-----

Originally Posted by MasonJet

Posting an article=obsession? I don't remember learning that equation in high school.

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

you must have gone to school in Connecticut..here it is...

(Editor's Note: Godness, I'm still having problems with Pi (Mmmmmm - apple pie) R squared, SJ. NY highschool, you see...)

-----

Originally Posted by Scott Dierking

You guys are really a sensitive lot.

Ok-have it your way-

Do not point out the hypocrisy of Yankee fans on this board.

From hereon out, Only Yankee fans can talk about the Yankees, and when other fans talk about the Yanlkees, they will be branded as jealous and obsessed. When Yankee fans do that, it will be "keeping an eye on teh competition".

Very good

Originally Posted by Barton

Nobody says 2 sh#ts when gimmeshelter posts all his yankee articles.

Stop crying and whining. You are the one being sensitive. I dont know how 80 posting a f'n article gets you so annoyed, and it clearly does because you didnt comment about the article, but you commented about the poster.......

(Editor's Note: Yankee haters are the funniest people in the world - they are always searching for a problem with the winningest organization in sports history. Haters - ha! - I laugh at you.)

-----

Originally Posted by greengal

you must be talking about some of the men who masquerade as women.. cause the real XX's here dont complain!

and by the way ..i have gotten an infraction before... so continue whining missus jgb.

Originally Posted by Alk

Ahem...

"we need a bodily function forum and disgusting stuff forum...

get out of MY lounge with this sh!t!!!! ( and yes pun... totally intended!!!)

i dont mind college sports, sex, and of course rock and roll

... but the middle school boy defecation/farting stuff has to go...

dont make me swat you guys on the tush and wash your mouths out with soap...

clean it up!"

(Editor's Note: Don't threaten to swat SJ on the tush, it'll turn him on. Trust me on this one...)

-----

Originally Posted by NY Jets Guy

Does anyone know when the last day of mini-camp is? I might be in LI so I'd like to stop by and check it out. I've never been to any of them.

They're all open to the public right?

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

maybe 128 will let you borrow his costume

(Editor's Note: 128 is creepy.)

-----

Originally Posted by Garb

What's an infraction?

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

prima facie evidence of sex bias on this site

Originally Posted by Garb

There is no gender bias for poop, counselor.

(Editor's Note: I propose a Writ of Certiorari - who will hear and judge on this?)

-----

Originally Posted by Bob

Cashman should play more fantasy baseball. No doubt about it.

I'm gonna write a letter to big George.

(Editor's Note: Cashman as GM is a like a kid playing Madden, there is not a doubt in the world about that. However, he is helping to get the farm system back in order, so there may be some hope...)

-----

Originally Posted by Arsis

Look at lunchbox here acting like the big bad mod. You know, Thor is right, I try to bait him all the time and he just never falls for it. Next time I'm using stronger chloroform.

Originally Posted by Thor99

I have built up a resistance to iocane powder.

(The Nomination: "anything princess bride related is a POTW" - Arsis)

(Editor's Note: "What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is

odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the

more deadly poisons known to man.")

-----

Originally Posted by mangenious420

Well the girlfriend has serious issues, and feels during the winter I spent more time on here with you guys then I did with her... So she decided to lay down the law. So my balls are basically in her hands for now!.... I'll be back for good come September... Until then i'll keep popping up every so often..

P.S. I Tried giving postive rep to you, ecurb, smizz, el grande, and a few more and it say's I have to spread it first. Guess I need to find more friends on Jets Nation.. Talk to you soon Bill...

(Editor's Note: This is a good, honest post right here - welcome back to the fold, DW10.)

-----

Topic: Congratulations Coach Max!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Alk

Max = Herm Edwards. I'm just 'sayin...

Dude probably has PSPs in the dugout for the kids to play during the game.

(Editor's Note: PSP's and brooms for the corners...)

-----

Topic: Mac/Apple advice

Originally Posted by Bill Parcells

How do I do a disk cleanup/defrag on a Mac?

Rep for the first Mac zealot to help!

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

Buy a PC?

(Editor's Note: If you ever have to defrag your computer, you're using the wrong operating system.)

-----

Topic: Happy Birthda 2pac

Originally Posted by Bill Parcells

I was hoping this thread would just die and go away.

Originally Posted by Kidhuman

Tupac didnt die and go away, what makes you think a thread about him would?????

(Editor's Note: The Kid has a good point - this thread would actually become MORE popular if it died and went away.)

[GreenBeans]

-----

Topic: Happy Birthda 2pac

Originally Posted by Bob

(Editor's Note: Bingo! Bob hit this one right on the noggin'!!!)

-----

Originally Posted by madmike1

IT sickens me that I agree with 80 about something so i'm just gonna leave this thread.

Originally Posted by 80

Nice, the forum is my next goal. Then the whole message board!

(Editor's Note: Damn, that is just cold...)

-----

Topic: Gaining weight and muscle mass

Originally Posted by Mandarinia

I'm about 5'10" and 135 pounds. I want to gain some weight but I cant seem to do so because i have a fast metabolism. I want to get around at least 150...does anyone have any tips??

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

buy a rocket from ecurb and travel to jupiter where the gravity is 2.4 times our own.

(Editor's Note: Nice solution, jgb! I'd just figured he should turn 33 and have a kid - it worked for me.)

-----

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

Sweet a POTW at my expense again AND good advertising!

(Editor's Note: Buy more rockets at ecurbs! (POTW = South of the Border billboard for e?))

-----

Topic: Lavar Arrington injured in bad motorcycle accident

Originally Posted by joiseyjet

As long as Brenda wasn`t on the back of his bike ,thats whats really important here.

(Editor's Note: That's true - at least Brenda is productive with her chosen career...)

-----

Originally Posted by GimmeShelter

Only Yankee fans can try and justify being 8 back while downplaying the fact the Mets are in 1st place. Worry about that 8-15 record in the weak AL East.

(Editor's Note: It's JUNE - talk about records at the end of September and see what they look like then, chief.)

-----

Topic: Bon Jovi - anyone here like him?

Originally Posted by Garb

Yah, most chicks do dig him. He may be on the skinny side, but handsome, charasmatic.....then a friend and I saw him at the Airport - say 10 years ago. If he's taller than 5"6", I'd be shocked. He's a shorty. A real shorty. Sooooooo disappointing. It changed my whole perception. Now I hear a Bon Jovi tune or see a video and think "oh, cute little munchkin."

Originally Posted by TaborJet

If you would have met him say, 20 years ago, he would be around 6'1" with all the Aqua-Net.

(Editor's Note: See him 10 years from now and he'll be 5'3" and bald - in spandex.)

-----

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

went to take a leak, let out a long, slow whining fart at the urinal. thought i was alone until the stall door opened. one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm. he said "hey jgb, next time you have to do that, do me a favor and check for my cole haan loafers under the stall door first."

(Editor's Note: Nice job, jgb - you're making a name for yourself! I'm so proud of you...)

-----

Originally Posted by Garb

Please do not compare the, arguably, greatest golfer of all time to Chad Pennington. That's just not right.

Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

I'm comparing a certain (and specific) APPROACH to their game that is similar IMO

Originally Posted by AVM

I understood what you were saying SoFla, and i agree. However, some people probably think if you compare Chad to Tiger, you must be saying Chad is the greatest of all time, which you did not. If Chad let things get to him, he would have been done before last year. If Eli Manning were in his shoes, coming off 2 rotator cuff surgeries and being told there was no way he'd come back--he wouldn't have come back, plain and simple. He's weak, and he doesn't have the insane talent of his older brother in my opinion, to offset it.

(Editor's Note: Great post, AVM - you hit it right on the head with Chad v. Eli.)

-----

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

Communism aint all that bad..

Originally Posted by Bob

I believe I have a new signature.

(Editor's Note: I want to see it there, Bob-O - you gotta do it! Bonus points if you put it in your sig at JI!)

-----

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

went to take a leak, let out a long, slow whining fart at the urinal. thought i was alone until the stall door opened. one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm. he said "hey jgb, next time you have to do that, do me a favor and check for my cole haan loafers under the stall door first."

Originally Posted by CrazyCarl40

So that's where Pac Man has been hiding.

(Editor's Note: Yup, he's been flushed into the pipes of Phili with the rest of his kind...)

-----

Originally Posted by Max

You played OLine for the Jets? The Road Grader is that you?

What is Dave Caddigan like? Seems like a nice guy but I always wondered.

Originally Posted by madmike1

No. I played in high school so I know something about the position.

(The Nomination: "potw nom! thats awsome, if you think playing a little bit of guard in high school equates to evaluating NFL talent, then i think you need an application for the NYJ, and should hand deliever it to Mangini." - mdrago4)

(Editor's Note: The something might only be "right guards line up between the center and the right tackle", but it is something, by gum...)

-----

Originally Posted by Barton

Believe it or not, I have been tx all along.

Dumbass.

Originally Posted by raffyD

Good, now you can be banned as well.

(Editor's Note: Ban Barton? Never happen - he's unbanable.)

-----

Originally Posted by Bill Parcells

I'm a joebaby supporter, always have been. the poor guy has been under a ruthless attack campaign organized and executed by that devious Female Patriots fan from New England, who's name shall stay anonymous for privacy purposes of course.

(Editor's Note: She may remain nameless, but she is still A HOTTIE in my eyes. Hubba hubba, my nameless beauty.)

-----

Topic: An open Letter to Bud Selig

Originally Posted by Kidhuman

Dear Mr Selig,

Go F**k yourself.

(The Nomination: "I didn't read the rest but this gets a POTW" - Arsis)

(Editor's Note: Reading is important, Arsis. Please visit your local library.)

-----

Topic: Jets | Contract Violation | Kendall?

Originally Posted by joebabyny

it was jetsrule128, he saw it from his vantage point hiding in the dumpster. BAN HIM!!!

(Editor's Note: 128 is a member of the NFLPA and he hides in dumpsters? That's kind of, well, odd - no? oh, wait, not for 128 it's not...)

-----

Originally Posted by MrsTaborJet

My theory is for those of you with the repetitive gay mod jokes are really trying to ease your own insecurities. Just sayin'

(Editor's Note: Or it's an invitation, one or the other...how's my - uhhh, I mean YOUR Tabor doing these days?)

-----

Originally Posted by Fin Fan In Cali

I like the confidence, hopefully the Jets look past us as well. Rodrique Wright, Paul Soliai, Fred Evans, and Matt Roth will see a lot of time rotating in on the D-line.

Originally Posted by ecurb2369

I doubt Mangini is as blind as I am... lol

(Editor's Note: Mangini is not looking past anyone - ever. That being said, "ooohhhhhh, what a scary defensive line - not.")

-----

Originally Posted by war ensemble

i have a question: does anyone actually understand that chart thing that ecurb keeps showing us?

Originally Posted by Smizzy

I think it means his penis is tiny.

(Editor's Note: If he's counting pixels andevery pixel counts for him, then you are probably right.)

-----

Originally Posted by joebabyny

All right!

Stop whatcha doin'

'cause I'm about to ruin

the image and the style that ya used to.

I look funny

but yo I'm makin' money see

so yo world I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather round

I'm the new fool in town

and my sound's laid down by the Underground.

I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf

so just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.

Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.

And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.

I'm steppin' tall, y'all,

and just like Humpty Dumpty

you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.

I like to rhyme,

I like my beats funky,

I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack

but sometimes I get ridiculous

I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice

hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?

Yeah, I called ya fat.

Look at me, I'm skinny

It never stopped me from gettin' busy

I'm a freak

I like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy.

Allow me to amaze thee.

They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.

I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants

and I even got my own dance

{Chorus:}

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Verse Two:

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"

that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'

Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me

but ya can't get near me

I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,

all the girls they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere

'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed

Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,

both how I'm livin' and my nose is large

I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,

I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid

I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,

I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits

Also told ya that I like to bite

Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.

All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance

and now I'm gonna do my dance.

{Chorus}

Breakdown:

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all

Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here

Oh, yeah!

Now that I told ya a little bit about myself

let me tell ya a little bit about this dance

It's real easy to do--check it out

Verse Three:

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken

Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'

Crazy wack funky

People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty

That's all right 'cause my body's in motion

It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Anyone can play this game

This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name

No two people will do it the same

Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain

Humpin', funkin', jumpin',

jig around, shakin' ya rump,

and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump

tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.

{Chorus}

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump

Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stoopid!

{Chorus}

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Outro:

Once again, the Underground is in the house

I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,

keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,

and to the ladies,

peace and humptiness forever

Originally Posted by JetFanByMarriage

God this brought back some memories.

Originally Posted by Thor99

You once got busy in a Burger King bathroom?

(Editor's Note: Not even close - Max's real name is actually Greg

[GreenBeans]

-----

Topic: Nicole Kidman Turns 40... Still hot?

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

I think she has a huge noggin,, forehead so big you could rent advertising space on it..

She peaked with the bare arse scene in Dead Calm..

Disclaimer: I hope i didnt offend big foreheaded people, or people who did bare arse scenes in a movie

(Editor's Note: I'm offended, you can guess as to why.)

-----

Topic: Nicole Kidman Turns 40... Still hot?

Originally Posted by The Ghost of Joey Ramone

Hot like Ben-gay on your nuts, man.

Dig.

(Editor's Note: That's hot - and uncomfortable. Dug.)

-----

Topic: JN Personalities? What are you?

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

Would your friends and family call you a 1) 'Happy Go Lucky' type of person, a 2) 'Dead Serious' sort of person, or 3) a type that basically responds to the circumstances of the moment, happy when there is good news, and sad when there is bad stuff going on? let scall the last type 'in-between'..

I think I am #1,,happy go lucky,,

how bout you JN?

Throw in other personalities if you like..

Originally Posted by The Ghost of Joey Ramone

I'm dead. Didn't see that in your poll, man.

Dig.

(Editor's Note: Pre-dead, which one would you have been, Joey? I'm guessing 2, just because it would be so not your image. Dig.)

-----

Originally Posted by Smizzy

Figured Id contribute soemthing to this heap.

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

hey, you started this thread!

(Editor's Note: Nice piles! How long did you practice to get them that shapely?)

-----

Topic: Mets get a tast of Johan Santana

Originally Posted by blackout806

and Johan makes quick work of the NL's best.

Originally Posted by toon88

Josh Fogg anyone?

was having a discussion at work today with a Yankee fan. Which is worse, getting shutout at home against Johan Santana or scoring 1 run in Colorado against Josh Fogg?

(Editor's Note: Excuse me, but was this not a Mets thread. Why bring the Yanks into this discussion. Insecurity displayed by Mets fans is so fun to watch...)

-----

Topic: NEW GREEN BALL / SJ POSTER???

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

there is another. i have a younger brother who is also a rabid jets fan, his bachelor party is in charleston next week. he's a little immature compared to us but i think i will still pitch the benefits of posting on JN to him. you guys owe me!

Originally Posted by Bill Parcells

(Editor's Note: Close - 'lil SJ looks more like Luke in Empire Strikes Back)

-----

Topic: Nicole Kidman Turns 40... Still hot?

Originally Posted by SoFlaJets

you kidding me? Given the chance, I'd leave the wife and kids and start robbing gas stations for her

(Editor's Note: Nah - she was with Tom Cruise at least one time and that is just a big time turn off. Yech.)

-----

Topic: Naked couple fall 50 feet to their deaths.

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

Thats what you call 'going out with a bang'

(Editor's Note: Absolutely - a big, messy bang.)

-----

Originally Posted by johnny green balls

there is another. i have a younger brother who is also a rabid jets fan, his bachelor party is in charleston next week. he's a little immature compared to us but i think i will still pitch the benefits of posting on JN to him. you guys owe me!

Originally Posted by Verde

Are you sh!tting me? Pun intended.

(Editor's Note: Actually, V, he is - 'lil SJ is more mature than everyone (well, except for his young lady friend) at the bar where we watch the games. True or false, 'heelz?)

-----

And this week's winner:

Topic: Could Kendall problem impact others?

Originally Posted by Sperm Edwards

Kendall had a choice & he made it. He chose guaranteed money to restructure with the Jets. Now that he sees others got more, he doesn't want to live up to his end of the arrangement. What are the odds that he would have returned one red cent of the bonus money (or salary) from 2006 if he was absolutely the worst OG in the league? About 0%. And if the Jets gave him more money & he sucked cowballs would he return any money to them? No. He has no beef.

As best as I can tell here is the situation:

March 2006:

Jets: Pete we'd like you to restructure since we're over the cap. You'll end up getting the same money, except that more of it will be up front instead of all of it in salary. It's a great deal for you if you planned on staying here. Of course, you don't have to take it. We can release you and you can hit the FA market instead.

Kendall: I'll take it.

2007:

Kendall: I didn't realize I might have gotten more money if I was a FA this year. I'd like to take back my decision, though I will not return any of the bonus money you gave me up front last year.

Jets: blow me.

Congratulations to Sperm Edwards for getting back into the POTW winner's circle for yet another week. This is a timely and interesting post - something the summer is not quite known for on football forums. I like that fact that you can clearly see that Pete really is a smart guy - he's trying for free cash. Unfortunately, Herm and Co. left town a year too soon for this to work. I hear KC needs O-Line help - maybe Herm will do Kendall for Gonzalez, Spermy? Anyway, congrats and be sure to wear the badge with pride this week:

The Assist of the Week goes to Garb because she made me laugh a lot this week and I need the laughter. Thank you, Garbie you HOT and SEXY thang.

That's that, see you next week with the next exciting episode of POTW. Work's a callin' - gotta boogie!

Y'all be cool!

GB

[SouthernJet]

Originally Posted by SouthernJet

In true JN spirit I present the first JetNation Homo/Turd combo joke:

Q: What's the difference between a Gay JN Mod and a refrigerator?

A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

(Editor's Note: I thought the answer was "There is none - Max is constantly in and out of both")

hahaha

POTW for that one Beans...

[GreenBeans]

hahaha

POTW for that one Beans...

Thank you, sir.

[joewilly]

great job beans & more excellent work by sperm, our resident analytical genius of all things ny jets

[NJ]

[quote=GreenBeans;549813

And this week's winner:

Congratulations to Sperm Edwards for getting back into the POTW winner's circle for yet another week. This is a timely and interesting post - something the summer is not quite known for on football forums. GB

Congrats Spermy! Now get up to the sticky and throw in on JoeBaby's bet.

[raffyD]

Nice work sperm and gb, always fun to read.

Btw, feels good just to be nominated.

[Sperm Edwards]

Thanks Beans. I didn't know I got a nominated post this week.

[GreenBeans]

great job beans & more excellent work by sperm, our resident analytical genius of all things ny jets

Thank you

Nice work sperm and gb, always fun to read.

Btw, feels good just to be nominated.

and thank you

Thanks Beans. I didn't know I got a nominated post this week.

and nice work to you, Mr. Edwards.

[L.I.MikeBleedsGreen]

Congrats Sperm on a good post

[drago]

great job again G-Beans. Thanks for posting this every week, its always fun to read.

[CrazyCarl40]

Thanks Beans. I didn't know I got a nominated post this week.

Well, you do play to win the game.

[BP]

Congrats Sperm, outstanding post.

Great job Beans! again!

[GreenBeans]

great job again G-Beans. Thanks for posting this every week, its always fun to read.

Thanks drago, I appreciate it.

Congrats Sperm, outstanding post.

Great job Beans! again!

Oh, stop Tuna - you're way too kind.

[war ensemble]

Congrats to sperm on the nice post, and another great job by beans, these things are always entertaining.

[johnny green balls]

great job GB, and i doubt my brother will join-- he's not really into toilet humor, maybe him and smizzy's son can study nuclear physics together instead?